How many desperate housewives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Now, George, it takes the same amount of energy to be nice as it does to be mean.

ANSWER: Housewives don’t screw in light bulbs, they screw in SUVs.

Where are you baby?

Larry

Jullian Assange is just another of those on our government’s list of enemies that has discovered the perils of being on the government’s bad side.

Jacob

I am not strictly gay, but I have my tendencies. You have activated those tendencies. I am a friend. But I haven’t made my interest known.

I know Wizz. I don’t know Doug. But I wonder if he would be upset if you had an affair with a woman? I mean if you were interested and I promised to be considerate of your need for discretion.

Sometimes it is difficult not to flirt with you but I don’t want to turn you off in any way.

Any suggestions?

Anon

Here’s a new twist on an old scam.

Barclays Bank Plc London
Belfast Road,Block 64a, London.
From the Desk of the Manager,
Barclays Bank Plc London.
Tele: +44-7024073575
Good Day To You,
From Barclays Bank Plc.

I know this letter will come to you as surprise one but i want you to read this with

maturity.This day, one Mrs.Hammar Ishmael, came to my office to let us know that you are

DEAD, she said she was a very close friend of yours and before your death, you instructed

her to come for the claim of your funds in the tune of US$27Million that was long abandoned

in your name with Woolwich Bank.So here comes the big question….

(:i) Did you authorize Mrs.Hammar Ishmael to come for your claim?
(ii) Are you truly Dead OR Alive?

If (NO) you are hereby advice as a matter of urgency to reconfirm the details of this

message within 24hours, hence your funds shall be wired into her account without any more

delay.

Lastly, you are advice to reconfirm the details of this message and get back immediately

with these information’s below..

1.Full name:………………………..
2.Direct telephone number:………………..
3.Address:…………………………
4.Your personal identification to enable us confirm you are not dead.

This information’s above must be provided for reconfirmation to Enable us make payment to

you, hence, your funds will be remit/wire into her account as already provide to this

management.

We wait for your urgent response today. You need to act very fast, because if this bank wait

for your urgent reply within three working days and did not received any message from you,

you will be consider dead, and your funds will be transfer to Mrs.Hammar Ishmael.

Here is an account provide by Mrs.Hammar Ishmael to this bank, are you also the one who ask

her to provide this bank account to us?

Washington Mutual Bank
2075 S. Victoria Ave
Ventura, CA 93003
800 788-7000
Acct. name: Mrs.Hammar Ishmael.
Type: Checking
ABA # 322271627
Acct # 1951204345
Amount: US$4.5Million.

Furthermore, this bank discovered that you have been dealing with some bad eggs officials

whom scammed some money from you without doing the right thing, Be advice to STOP further

communication with them, your funds is now approved for payment, follow the right procedure

and contact us through this email address below….. (frankstamps@att.net) and you should

also call on this number: +44-7024073575

This message demand urgent attention, the bank is waiting to hear from you.

Regards,
Mr.Frank Stamps.
Manager
Barclays Bank Plc London.
====================
So I wrote back. “I’m Dead.”

Hamilton