The bfj thing sounds like that article indicates, it’s the men who have issues and control women (who I would assert, also have issues) this walks a weird odd line for me, on the one hand it sounds like the 2 parties have what amounts to (sans the religious context) a dominant/subordinate sexual relationship which often simmers over into out of bed play. IN the name of jesus is what’s really disturbing bc if it is consensual, and these women are down with it, then they are ritualizing their domme/sub sexual play into family time, again, in the name of jesus?! Really…?
We can face it or not, a lot of men are disturbed and stunted in their intimacy and control issues (they want to own you, or at least know where you are constantly) and some women grow up in disturbing environments where a spanking and a comforting session with the spanker left mixed messages about love.
In adulthood, there are many ways to show love and some people like the domme/sub thing, some like a little master and servant role-playing, and some like a spanking as just sex play, it is a scary and fine line when it turns into anything more than that with consent (and no safe word, not even your ‘saviors’)…although as adults if this is their chosen lifestyle, odd as it may be to me, it is consensual and therefore off limits, same as if a domme is walking her man around on a leash and he doesn’t mind it….

Paula Deen has always appalled me, now I know the exact reasons why…Southern racism is creepy, how do you eradicate it without using violence? Maybe she’ll just have an early departure bc of all that diabetic crap she calls food and her magic bullets to handle what she caused in herself and peddled to others.

I agree Mischa, some women are disturbing and very disappointing. Even ones that are on it often fall for men who not very progressive, what can you do…

Thanks for the 2 links, SB, very informative indeed.

Luv, Zen Lill

But I was never taught embarrassment over the truth. I was taught that in the past, people had some crazy, wrong, destructive beliefs and but that didn’t mean I had to share them.

I was taught honestly and wholeheartedly by my parents what the reality was…. and I was shocked in college, when I took a class about race and status in America, that other white people were so defensive about this past. Of course it’s ugly! Of course the stain is still with us! Frankly as an American, it’s offensive to gloss this over.

Talking to children is a whole other ball of wax, but if the adults can’t see the truth and just live with it, how do we expect the kids to be able to navigate their feelings on this? Especially when adults have foolhardy exercises that single children out? I mean there’s a time for catering to kinetic learners, but this isn’t it!

I’m not sure what the answer is, but I think we need to listen to people like the writer of this post, and use common sense. And teach the truth, applying it to what injustice exists today.

I am white and my knowlege of slavery is what I learned many years ago from textbooks, tv etc. In Colonial Williamsburg, there are programs that focus on slavery that are amazing. I learned more in a few days there than in all my 46 years.

There is a program called Mama Said, Papa Said that was moving to me. The people who portray slaves there are so full of passion that they move you and they don’t sugar coat it at all.

I live in South Dakota and we have a large Native American population. While I don’t think it would be smart to re-enact the Wounded Knee massacre, I do believe that we need to hear the other side.

I don’t remember once in my high school history classes that we learned the Native Side or the African American side of history.

As a parent you want to shelter your kids at least a little from the painful truths of slavery in the US – especially at the tender age of 4. However, you article has shown me how important is it cover these issues in the classroom.

I would advocate for more communication with parents – so we are prepared to handle the questions at home and don’t create confusion for the children. This topic, if we are going to introduce it at such a young age, must have a coordinate team approach.