BUT – for good or bad or just lack of time and energy exerted (unless they’re all named BOB, it takes work) I prefer one at a time, marriage, mini-marriages, whatever…

I printed a retraction para at my site due to your comments here and my inbox of emailers, a lot of men backed up your men wanting marriage and men initiating marriage, it was funny to see how vehemently men were on the subject. The divorce initiation percentage # I still stand by – I do know men who are absolutely miserable, they just know that laws are against them and secretly, they fear their woman witholding kid visits and that’s no lie, Robert.

Thanks for your insights, whether I agree with all of them or not – Zen Lill

I am on 19. But what you wrote is powerful. I am in a relationship. I don’t sleep around. I don’t even allow other men to flirt with me. Well, I don’t flirt back if they do. This is only my second serious relationship.

Guam is too small for me to have a second serious relationship, but after reading you, I sure would like to try.

My boyfriend is very different than my first serious relationship. But as you said I am doing what i did in the first one. I am giving all of me to him and hoping that he is doing the same.

I may not be thinking about marriage but what is the difference, he is getting a marriage from me without the paper work. Am I getting the same from him?

Your writing makes me uneasy. But it makes a lot of sense too. On Guam if I try to have a serious relationship with more than one man at a time, I will be considered a slut.

I have had offers from some males that I would have dated had I not been in this relationship. At the rate of only one boyfriend at time, I will have had only 3 or 4 relationships before it will be time for me to start seriously looking for a life long mate.

I don’t dare say more because I am so well known. But I will be passing on your words to all my friends, family and any female I meet.

Peter

It’s out!

Robert, I’ll bet you will make some woman a very good mate, if you are not already in one. I am sorry that I haven’t paid much attention to your comments in the past. But i promise I will check them out in the archives.

Hafa adai

Your new conquest Anna

I am aware of the stats. But if you believe that, then I have some beach front property in Arizona I’d like to sell you.

Yes, I am single, now. And I like most men didn’t have to initiate the divorce proceedings. Men take action as soon as they are no longer happy in the union. They fact that we are still married is but a small inconvenience to be handled by the woman or by us when it becomes beneficial to us.

A woman’s biological clock is no different from a man’s desire to take his desire off the market. We just go about it differently.

I’ve seen some men do the craziest things to win their coveted woman over, including resorting to violence or threats.

I didn’t get the click through on the site. Perhaps you could re post the link.
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‘…Society makes it difficult for women to make a conscious decision about marriage, let alone fidelity. Girls have always been taught from a young age that men do not want to marry women who have been with numerous sexual partners. At the same time, we entice girls with romantic notions surrounding meeting the right man, getting married and living happily ever after. Many women end up denying and/or suppressing their natural sexual desires in order to get married. ***natural sexual desires***
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Sorry, Zen Lill that is crap. I have a daughter and four nieces who I raised. They all have dated more than one man at a time and so have most of their girlfriends because I encouraged them to do so and I suppose they encouraged their friends to do like wise.

None of my nieces are divorced. My daughter has chosen not to marry yet. Men are not mysteries to discover during the marriage. They are decisions to make like the rest of life.

Girls are not the victims of society. Girls are the victims of their mothers. Men encourage their sons to play around. Mothers should encourage their daughters to date more than one male at a time.

The real culprit is nature. If you re read what I wrote previously, the part that explains the nature of the female would give you pause to reason that women seek love with one man at a time not because of some taboo against sleeping around. A woman does it because she is looking for love, romance, companionship not sex.

It is that simple. The rest is just pap. Common sense should tell you the average man would not know if he were marring a woman that has had 3 or 300 sex partners. You are repeating silly bulls**t. Today’s woman knows that a man doesn’t know s**t about who they have been to bed with.

No one is enticing girls with notions surrounding meeting the right man. A woman is hard wired to seek a relationship over sex. Hence she seeks literature that validates her state of mind. Society may provide her with the availability of the material, but you can chalk that up to commercialism rather than some nefarious desire of society to brainwash girls.

Women who have sexual relations with one man at a time are always denying or suppressing their sexual desires. But it isn’t to get married, it is their nature because they are seeking a relationship not just sex.

How many times will I have to repeat to you that if one only has sex with one partner at a time there can be no real comparison between two or more partners. There can only be repetition of the behavior to get a new partner once the old relationship has dissolved.

Read this carefully. If you are dating only one man at a time, if you are sleeping with only one man at a time, you are not making a choice between mates. You are settling for the man who convinced you to settle for him. If the relationship ends you will simply be repeating the procedure.

Essentially women are getting married without the paper work or the legal benefits every time they enter into a relationship while the man is just dating. Society did not have any thing to do with that. That is the woman’s choice.

As Howie pointed out about the vote, and Madaline does when she discusses women, women should woman up. The decision to date more than one man at a time is theirs. If they don’t vote to do it with their mind, then they don’t have the right to complain when they give the man the right to make the choices.

What you are doing is blaming society for a conscious decision by women to please their companions by only having sex with him. It is the intimacies that go with other than casual sex that allows a person to learn more about the personality of the other person.

Hence a woman needs to be in a relationship with more than one man at a time if she is searching for a life long mate.
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These two beliefs are taught simultaneously to girls and they are the cause of many women’s high and unrealistic expectations of marriage. Men, on the other hand, are taught that marriage is definitely something they’ll want to postpone. Marriage for men means loss of freedom and a reduction in sexual partners. So men have a lower expectation of marriage from the beginning. Women are more likely to be let down by marriage; it just isn’t as great as they thought it was going to be. But men may find that it’s better than they thought, since many of them had expected it to suck in the first place. Men have nowhere to go but up and women have nowhere to go but down due to their preconceived expectations. ***love the part that men expected it to suck in the first place, take all of it with a grain of salt, she’s angry – but don’t women have the right to be? see above, the suppression of ***natural sexual desires*** women and girls get sold a bill of goods early on about how they need to be sexually demure, blah blah blah…the truth is men don’t want their ability and pecker size compared to another man for fear of not measuring up or pleasuring up, and that’s a fact, Jack!
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That is so ridiculous as to not be worth the time it took to print or copy it. Women spend their entire dating lives in mini marriages. There is no difference between what they give their men in those relationships than the one they give the man after they get the paper. Unfortunately for them that is true for the man too.
It has nothing to do with “expectations.” Women expect their relationships to last but they don’t. Why do you think more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce. It mirrors relationships.
It has nothing to do with “suppressing natural sexual desires.” Women are suppressing “natural sexual desires” in most of their relationships. It is the men who aren’t. How is that different from marriage?
My advice to you is the same as Howie”s was. Quit feeding women that bullshit. Tell them to start dating more than one man at a time. Engage in more than one relationship at a time. Compare the emotional feelings each brings to her senses. Let time and maturity help her arrive at a choice between the two or allow herself to drop one and replace that with another more satisfying relationship so that she is constantly juggling at least two serious relationships until she is ready to settle for her choice.
One must have options of two or more to make a choice. Otherwise you are being chosen by your environmental circumstances. So either choose or be chosen.
But resist making excuses for not making a choice.

Robert

I told this particular man that I must have dated the whole friggin’ 10% who were interested in being married then (out of the said 90% who were not interested) – shot that theory straight to hell, it was fun.

Ok, Now I am outta here, for good tonight, seriously – Zen Lill