Al

Honk if you love Jesus, Text if you want to meet him.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES
Ø If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
Ø If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
Ø When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
Ø When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
Ø A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
Ø A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
Ø A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
Ø The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
Ø A woman has the last word in any argument.
Ø Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
Ø A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
Ø A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
Ø A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Ø A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
Ø A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
Ø A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
Ø A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
Ø A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Ø Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Ø Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ø Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
Ø A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Ø A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Proof that Men Have Better Friends
Friendship among Women
A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men
A man didn’t come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Henry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLCy46NWO4s