Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD
Brigham Young University

Married couples who give each other back rubs or touch each other affectionately in other ways for at least 30 minutes three times a week have 34% lower levels of stress. Researchers found that being affectionate releases the hormone oxytocin, which may protect against stress-related illnesses.

Spencer Sherman, CFP
Abacus Wealth Partners, LLC

When it comes to our money, we all try to act rationally… yet we often fail. I call this phenomenon “money madness.”

Back when the economy was strong, our bad money habits might not have hurt us very much — but these days, financial irrationality can be much more costly. Here’s how to recognize if you have any of these five common forms of money madness — and how to cure them…

Gut player. You always trust your instinct on money matters. You hang on to stocks because you “have a good feeling about them” — even though their prices have become very high or have plunged way beyond the rest of the market’s dive.

You bought your house or your car because you “fell in love with it” — even though it cost more than you meant to spend.

Even experienced money pros sometimes fall into this trap — they convince themselves that their instincts are right, and therefore the numbers must be wrong.

Solution: Describe the situation to your spouse or a friend, and solicit his/her input. Money novices often ask the smart questions and raise the crucial topics that “money experts” fail to confront when they trust their instincts.

Home-run swinger. You want big, fast payoffs on your investments. You’re willing to take big risks to hit financial home runs.

Truth: It isn’t really big financial gains you’re after — it’s the adrenaline rush that comes from taking risks.

Solution: First, make a list of the times that you have tried for a big financial score and failed. Figure out and record how much each of these losses has cost you.

Next, set up a plan that automatically takes money from your bank account and puts it in a diversified portfolio of investments appropriate for your goals and time horizons. Any mutual fund company can help you do this.

An automatic plan takes future investment decisions largely out of your hands, making it more difficult for you to impulsively gamble with your savings.

Prisoner of spending. You waste money on things that you don’t need and run up credit card bills that you can’t afford to pay.

Solution: Take a one-month sabbatical from credit cards each year. You’ll likely discover that you don’t enjoy spending nearly as much when you have to hand over your hard-earned cash rather than just whip out a credit card.

And by the end of the month, you should have a better idea of what kinds of things you truly need.

Money mute. You can’t or won’t talk about your current financial situation, even with your spouse. This could be costing you money.

Examples: If you can’t tell your spouse that money is tight, he/she might overspend. If you can’t talk to other couples about your budget constraints, they might pressure you into spending more on activities, such as eating out, than you can afford.

If you don’t level with your accountant, insurance agent or investment adviser, you might incur penalties or take on more risk than you can tolerate.

Solution: Start a conversation by bringing up more general — and somewhat less stressful — financial topics, such as the state of the overall economy or even how money matters were handled in your family when you were a child. Then, in the same conversation or a follow-up, segue into your own current situation.

Alternatives: Ask your spouse to review the family’s finances with you so that he is able to share in your concerns. Discuss these topics first with a friend or mentor as practice for financial chats with others.

Consider communicating with financial advisers via e-mail, which many people find psychologically easier than discussing money matters face-to- face.
Money measurer. You regard each financial setback as a sign of personal failure and a character flaw.

Solution: “Measure” other aspects of your life as well, and you’re more likely to see that your finances are just one small part of who you are.

Example: Give yourself a one-to-10 score for each of the following, with 10 meaning that you have succeeded completely: your friendships… your family… your health… how much you enjoy your spare time… how much you enjoy your career… and how much you help others.

Next time you’re feeling bad about your battered investment accounts or what you consider to be unimpressive wages, put things in proper perspective by considering these other scores as well.

If your scores in these areas are lower than you would like, at least some of them can be quickly improved. Inviting acquaintances over for dinner can boost your friendship score… spending a Saturday volunteering with a charity can boost your “helping others” score.

Bottom Line/Wealth interviewed Spencer Sherman, CFP, founder and CEO of Abacus Wealth Partners, LLC, a fee-only money-management firm in Sebastopol, California. He was named one of the nation’s top 100 wealth advisers by Worth and is author of The Cure for Money Madness (Broadway). http://www.abacuswealth.com.

Dear Friend who Hates Harry Reid as Much as I Do,

When we last communicated about the Nevada race, Harry Reid had pounced on Sharron Angle as soon as she won the Republican primary and, using his vastly superior campaign war chest, had run negative ads accusing her of wanting to “phase out” Social Security and Medicare.

You answered my appeal for funds to rebut this harsh negative and we have been able to run upwards of $300,000 to do so due to your donations!

While Reid’s negative ads turned the polling around from an initial 10 point Angle lead to a 7 point Reid lead, our rebuttal has killed Reid’s lead and the race is now statistically a dead tie!

Without your help, Angle would have been lost.

Now its time to go over to the offensive!

If you want to get rid of Reid, please donate again (or for the first time) so that we may amass a war chest to give Angle back the lead, this time for good.

Our average donation has been $100, but please give more if you can and less if you want. We need help urgently. Reid has millions on hand. But with intelligent use of our resources (which I promise you I will do) a little money can go a very long way in defeating him.

Thanks and stay tuned.

Dick Morris
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But it seems the repugs don’t care. They just want to win.

Is there any wonder our country fielded a republican party of crooks who sold our jobs to other countries, and gave control of the rest of the country to the bank, corporations and big pharma.

Get out and vote people.

Mike

I have no word as to whether he is alive. We have been praying and hoping, but so far we have heard nothing.

Ruth