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Archive for the 'Health & Well Being' Category

Wonderful Women Of The World

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 26th May 2012

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Good morning!

I wanted to post this last Saturday but as you know, my blogging didn’t go exactly how I  planned.

Bullying has been a hot topic in the media lately.

At Marlothomas.com, we’re always talking about women who have pushed the limit in order to accomplish something great. Traciana Graves grew up in a loving home, but she suffered heartbreaking bullying throughout her school years for how she dressed, spoke and even how shewalked. She turned to music for solace, dreaming of one day becoming a singer (which she eventually did!). Her savior during that difficult bullying phase was a popular boy named Joel. He stood up for her, and later, he became her beloved stepbrother when their parents got married. Then Joel went to college and pledged a fraternity — and the unthinkable happened: a hazing incident took his life.

Instead of letting that personal tragedy cripple her, Traciana faced the world. She fulfilled her lifelong dream of being a singer and then dedicated her life and career to ending the one practice that almost tore her world apart: bullying. Traciana didn’t let fear, grief or discouragement stop her. She is truly fearless! Watch the video below to learn more about her inspiring story.

Three fearless lessons Traciana learned that you can try yourself:

1) Create a personal mantra — and live by it. Traciana’s cure for bullying consists of the “Three Ps”: purpose, power and potential. Be mindful of your purpose. Always know your power. Understand your potential.

2) Everyone has negative experiences. It’s up to you to translate yours into positive actions that help yourself and others.

3) Always speak up for injustice — don’t be afraid to do so! A shift in the world starts with you.

***

Readers: So…I got a phone call from a a friend who said, “Hey did you see the poem that guy posted to you on your blog the other day?” To which I answered, “What poem and what guy? I don’t remember any poem.”  And he promptly said, “You know, the guy who said that he “could worship the dick that got to pleasure itself between those beautiful thighs…”. “Oh yeah…that guy. I wouldn’t exactly call it a ‘poem’”, I laughed. But then I remembered…he did write a “poem”…a very cute 4-liner. And my friend said, “Put it to the cadence of, ‘I would walk miles and miles over broken glass …with her lass’”. I did, but his is way better if you ask me.

Kudos to you, Ankur for such creativity. I never in my wildest dreams would ever think a man would say such words about me, nor consider taking such actions of admiration. Such a sacrifice or offer satiates the ego in a way that modesty forbids further discourse. Oh…And by the way, I’m a pretty nice girl. I would probably say more than just a few words if I met you, that is…before I discovered IAT.  :)

Social Butterfly: Thank you for posting such an important topic with respect to our health.

3//9c: My condolences. I knew none of the contingent, but I know what it is to experience loss.

Mike, TM: Okay, so if Robert, RT is correct with respect to your moniker, I have to say, “I like it”. Very apropos. Thanks for humoring me and making my life a bit easier. I like to recognize my readers in any way I can, and especially if they are posting many comments and are considered a “regular”, as of course, you are.

Social Butterfly, et all: Happy Memorial Day! I’m in the fabulous city of San Francisco this weekend and I am so delighted to be here. And yes, I am going to celebrate our beautiful Golden Gate bridge’s big 75th – can’t wait to indulge in the festivities. I HOPE you all are enjoying yourself as well.

Peace & Love…

xox

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

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All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

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Posted in Health & Well Being, Wonderful Women Of The World | 26 Comments »

Are You A Christian?

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 15th May 2012

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Good morning!

 

Go grab a cup of coffee, sit down and enjoy…this one’s a long one.

 

Taxpayer-Funded Crisis Pregnancy Centers Using Religion To Oppose Abortion

WASHINGTON — If you want to help carry out the anti-abortion mission of the taxpayer-funded Care Net Pregnancy Resource Center, you have to be a Christian.

It’s right there on the Rapid City, S.D., center’s volunteer application.

“Do you consider yourself a Christian?” “If yes, how long have you been a Christian?” “As a Christian, what is the basis of your salvation?” “Please provide the following information concerning your local church. Church name … Denomination … Pastor’s name.” “This organization is a Christian pro-life ministry. We believe that our faith in Jesus Christ empowers us, enables us, and motivates us to provide pregnancy services in this community. Please write a brief statement about how your faith would affect your volunteer work at this center.”

But that hasn’t stopped the center from receiving federal funding and other forms of government support.

In 2010, it was awarded a $34,000 “capacity building” grant as part of President Obama’s stimulus bill.

Last year, the nonprofit National Fatherhood Initiative, with “support from the US Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Family Assistance,” awarded the center $25,000 for capacity building.

And when South Dakota passed a law requiring that women get counseling from a “pregnancy help center” before receiving an abortion, the Rapid City center was quick to sign up — becoming one of three such facilities listed on the state’s official website.

Like other crisis pregnancy centers, the Rapid City Care Net seeks to prevent abortions by offering women a combination of free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds, a “24 hour hotline,” and medically dubious ”abortion education” (its website claims that “a number of reliable studies have demonstrated connection between abortion and later development of breast cancer”).

The Rapid City center is not alone. On its website, the facility says it “submits to the affiliation guidelines” of the national Care Net organization, which supports more than 1,100 explicitly Christian crisis pregnancy centers. Care Net requires that at each center, “those who labor as pregnancy center board members, directors, and volunteers are expected to know Christ as their Savior and Lord” and that “all board members, staff, and volunteers of the center agree with the Care Net Statement of Faith.”

And it’s not just Care Net. Across the country, crisis pregnancy centers that refuse to hire non-Christians are receiving taxpayer funding and other forms of government support.

Equal Opportunity Employer?

The Life Center, a crisis pregnancy center in Midland, Texas, is looking for a new receptionist. The receptionist is expected to be bilingual in English and Spanish, proficient in Microsoft Word and Excel, and in agreement with the Life Center’s “Common Christian Beliefs.” Typed on each page of the three-page job application is: “The Life Center is an Equal Opportunity Employer” – even on the page that asks for a church reference.

Applicants for the open executive director position at the LifeTalk Resource Center in Frisco, Texas, have to prove they are “mature Christians.” The Dallas Pregnancy Resource Center is only hiring ”committed Christians.”

Each of these centers appears on a list compiled and publicized by the Texas health department of organizations that offer free sonograms to pregnant women and that do not provide abortion services or referrals. The list was created last year as part of a sweeping anti-abortion law signed by Gov. Rick Perry. Doctors are required to distribute this list to women before performing an abortion.

The Life Center is among 12 centers on the list that also receive state funding through the controversial Alternatives to Abortion Services Program.

In addition to Texas, at least six other states — Florida, Kansas, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and Pennsylvania — currently fund crisis pregnancy centers. Collectively, for the current fiscal year, they are allocating approximately $17 million to these anti-abortion centers.

The centers are generally barred from using state money to promote their faith, but many still use religion to make hiring decisions. True Life Choice in Orlando — one of the 80 or so facilities funded by Florida’s pregnancy center program — is looking for an executive director who is a “committed Christian who demonstrates a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.”

A handful of anti-abortion crisis pregnancy centers have also received indirect funding from the federal government during the Obama administration.

The Care Net facility in Rapid City, for example, was awarded a piece of a million-dollar stimulus grant given to South Dakota’s Chiesman Center for Democracy to help nonprofits and faith-based organizations address issues within their local communities that were exacerbated by the global economic crisis. According to areport on this stimulus project, called the Strengthening Communities Fund, applicant organizations were evaluated based on their objectives and need for assistance, their organizational profile, and their approach. The money that each organization got had to be used for capacity-building purposes but not for direct services.

Chiesman’s principal evaluator and researcher, Helen Usera, told TAI in an email that her organization provided capacity-building training and technical assistance to 19 nonprofits, including Black Hills Area Habitat for Humanity, Black Hills State University, and Northern Hills Alcohol and Drug Services.

“Care Net focused on board development which included strategic planning, hiring a consultant to provide facilitation of the strategic planning, and updating bylaws,” Usera said. “In addition, they were able to send staff to various trainings in the areas of fund raising and marketing. Another area they were able to focus on was upgrading technology.”

The center itself did not respond to requests for comment.

Usera said that Chiesman did not select any of the sub-grantees who participated in the project; they were chosen by a team of independent reviewers unaffiliated with the foundation.

Asked about the Care Net grant, a spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families told TAI: “All grantees and any sub recipients are required to follow the law and provide the services described under the terms and conditions of the grant. We are currently reviewing this particular situation.”

While federal law prohibits employment discrimination based on religious beliefs, there is an exception for religious organizations — a category that seems to include the Rapid City center and other CPCs. And in many cases, it’s perfectly legal for these groups to receive taxpayer funding, even if they practice religious hiring discrimination.

Texas’ Alternatives to Abortion Services Program, which annually draws in $4.15 million in taxpayer funding, is managed by the Texas Pregnancy Care Network, a nonprofit headquartered in Austin. Stephanie Goodman, the spokesperson for the Texas Health and Human Services Commission, which oversees the program, told TAI that the commission does not have a specific policy on Christian groups that discriminate in hiring, but she said the state follows the federal “Charitable Choice” laws and requires the TPCN to do the same.

“Charitable Choice” refers to provisions in federal laws passed beginning in the late 1990s, which apply to various federal grant programs, such as the Temporary Assistance to Needy Families program. Generally, the laws specify that faith-based organizations cannot be excluded from competition for federal funds; they may consider their religious beliefs in hiring and firing employees (but they cannot use religion as an excuse not to hire for other things like race or gender); and they cannot use federal funds to support any inherently religious activities, such as worship or religious instruction. President George W. Bush expanded these exceptions, more broadly exempting religious organizations that receive federal contracts from rules that bar religious discrimination in hiring.

‘An Outreach Ministry of Jesus Christ’

The fact that many of the country’s anti-abortion pregnancy centers are Christian organizations is not something that is prominently featured in state literature promoting these groups or even on many of the centers’ websites.

But for many of these places, Jesus Christ is central to their daily activities.

Care Net requires that each of its affiliates pledge to adhere to the network’s “Pregnancy Center Standards of Affiliation,” the first of which reads: “The primary mission of the center is to share the truth and love of Jesus Christ in conjunction with a ministry to those facing pregnancy related issues. The pregnancy center is an outreach ministry of Jesus Christ through His church. Therefore, the pregnancy center, embodied in its volunteers, is committed to presenting the gospel of our Lord to women with crisis pregnancies — both in word and in deed. Commensurate with this purpose, those who labor as pregnancy center board members, directors, and volunteers are expected to know Christ as their savior and Lord.”

Care Net also requires that all board members, staff, and volunteers at each center agree with the “Care Net Statement of Faith.” Adapted from the National Association of Evangelicals’ Statement of Faith, it reads, in part: “We believe in the deity of our Lord Jesus Christ, in His virgin birth, in His sinless life, in His miracles, in His vicarious and atoning death through His shed blood, in His bodily resurrection, in His ascension to the right hand of the Father, and in His personal return in power and glory.”

Care Net member centers must agree to offer all services for free, to never perform or refer for abortions, and to refrain from referring “single women for contraceptives.” However, “married women seeking contraceptive information should be urged to seek counsel, along with their husbands, from their pastor and/or physician.”

A document attributed to Care Net that was given to TAI by the National Abortion Federation (the document is not dated, but NAF communications coordinator Andrea Alford said she believes it is from 1995) includes a section labeled, “Guidelines for Working with the CPC.” Among the “Things to Remember” is this point:

We are worshipping and serving Jesus Christ. We are not in the ministry to serve the people, but to worship and serve Him. In worshiping and serving Him, He will enable us to minister to those who come to the CPC. If this focus shifts, the ministry will be less effective.

Care Net would not respond to questions about the authenticity of the document, but nearly identical language currently appears on the website of a Care Net affiliate in St. Cloud, Minn.

Care Net Chief Operating Officer Larry Breeden told TAI in an email that Care Net did not want to participate in this story, but regarding Care Net’s hiring policies, he said, “Care Net adheres to federal requirements for a faith-based 501(c)3 and adheres to all federal requirements in the hiring process. Care Net is a Christ-centered ministry whose mission is to promote a culture of life within our society in order to serve people facing unplanned pregnancies and related sexual issues.”

Another major anti-abortion pregnancy center network, Heartbeat International, also defines itself as a religious institution.

“We are formed under IRS regulations 501(c)3 as an organization for religious, charitable, and educational purposes,” said Heartbeat International spokesperson Virginia Cline in an email to TAI. “We hire individuals who support our mission, our vision, and our Christian core operational values and beliefs.”

According to its website, “All Heartbeat International polices and materials are consistent with Biblical principles and with orthodox Christian (Catholic, Protestant, and Orthodox) ethical principles and teaching on the dignity of the human person and sanctity of human life.”

Cline says that – unlike with Care Net – individual pregnancy centers affiliated with Heartbeat are not obligated to discriminate based on religion. She said the only requirement regarding their hiring practices is that they must comply with state and federal laws. Affiliates also must pledge to uphold Heartbeat International’s “Commitment of Care and Competence.”

But that doesn’t mean Heartbeat opposes employment discrimination. In a posting on Heartbeat’s job registry, for example, PregnancyCare of Cincinnati states that it is looking for a general manager with “mature Christian faith” who will “set a good personal example of Christ-centered servant leadership.”

The third major CPC network in the U.S. is the National Institute of Family and Life Advocates, based in Fredericksburg, Va. NIFLA was the first CPC network to promote ultrasounds in crisis pregnancy centers and works in tandem with Focus on the Family to transform CPCs into “medical clinics.” Like Heartbeat, NIFLA maintains anonline registry for available CPC jobs across the country. Many of the centers – some of which are also affiliated with Care Net or Heartbeat International – are only looking for Christians.

Recent open positions have included: a position for an executive director at Compassion Pregnancy Center in Clinton Township, Mich., who is a “dynamic disciple of Christ”; a position for an executive director at Option’s Women’s Clinic in Helena, Mont., who can “exhibit a strong Christian faith life”; and a position for an executive director at Concord, Calif., who “demonstrates a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord and has a strong commitment and dedication to the pro-life position, the sanctity of human life, and sexual purity.”

In the abortion wars, Planned Parenthood Federation of America and its affiliates are often portrayed as being in direct conflict with the major CPC networks. Each side has its own powerful political allies, and each has a stake in public policies that can lead to public funding. But among the many key differences between Planned Parenthood clinics and crisis pregnancy centers is in their hiring policies. According to a spokesperson, Planned Parenthood employers do not ask applicants about their religious beliefs, and the organization’s official hiring policy bars discrimination based on religion.

And while CPC applicants often must pledge to be against abortion, contraception, and, in many cases, premarital sex, Planned Parenthood says its policy is not to ask applicants about their views on such matters.

“People have a range of personal views on certain issues and for most, our views evolve over time,” said Planned Parenthood spokesperson Andrea Hagelgans in an email. “Planned Parenthood hires staff who are qualified, meet high professional standards and are able to promote the mission of the organization.”

‘YOU can be the one to introduce them to Jesus’

Many crisis pregnancy centers, even those that receive state or federal grants, are nonprofits with low budgets that rely on volunteers to help run the centers and counsel women facing crisis pregnancies.

Though they are unpaid, volunteers serve key roles in these organizations.

The state-funded Pregnancy Care Center in Tampa, Fla., has this message for prospective volunteers (emphasis is original):

Our doors are open to women who do not know where else to turn, women searching for answers and help with unexpected pregnancies. Women who need honest information and material items for their baby. Women who need Jesus! YOU can be the one to introduce them to Jesus and help them make life-changing decisions. Becoming a volunteer at the Pregnancy Care Center has great rewards!

Pregnancy Care Center’s website explains that the center opened in 1988 “as an outreach ministry dedicated to presenting the Gospel of Jesus Christ both in word and deed. The Center emphasizes the need to minister to both the mother, toward eternal life; and the baby toward a healthy live birth.”

Some CPC volunteer applications can be quite personal and probing.

Heartbeat of Miami, which has two state-funded locations, publishes a six-pagevolunteer packet complete with the Apostle’s Creed and a policy stating that the center does not encourage contraception but does provide “fertility awareness information” for married couples. Volunteer applicants are required to submit a recommendation from their pastor, and they are asked questions about their sex lives (“Are you now living a lifestyle of sexual integrity, abstinent if single or faithful within marriage?”) and their past experience with abortion (“Have you ever had an abortion? … If Yes, have you had the opportunity to go through a post-abortion class on forgiveness and healing?”).

The Pregnancy Help Center of Lufkin, which receives money through Texas’ Alternatives to Abortion program, actually requires volunteers to sign a pledge that they will pray and attend church:

In addition to the above, I hereby pledge that as a volunteer I will: 1. Attend as many volunteer meetings/trainings as possible. 2. Pray regularly for my part in the ministry and for the ministry as a whole. 3. Fellowship with other believers for encouragement and edification (this means being part of a local Christian church).

‘Inspired by God’

South Dakota has taken support for CPCs even further. Rather than provide funding, the state legislature simply mandated that women receive counseling at one of the anti-abortion centers before having an abortion.

Last year, the state passed a law that, among other things, created a 72-hour waiting period between when a woman first sees an abortion provider and when the abortion can be legally performed. During that time, the woman “must have a consultation at a pregnancy help center.” The law specifies that the doctor must provide the woman the contact information of all crisis pregnancy centers registered with the state’s department of health. Religious anti-abortion centers are allowed to participate in the program but are required to obtain written consent from pregnant women before discussing religion with them.

While much of the law is tied up in an ongoing court battle, the health department still maintains a list of three pregnancy centers that “have submitted the necessary affidavits to the department.”

One of them is Care Net Pregnancy Resource Center, the Rapid City facility that received federal stimulus funds and asks volunteers, “As a Christian, what is the basis of your salvation?”

Another facility on the state’s list — the Bella Pregnancy Resource Center in Spearfish — is also a Care Net affiliate and is thus obligated to hire only Christians and to follow Care Net’s Statement of Faith.

That leaves the Alpha Center in Sioux Falls. According to Allen Unruh, who co-founded the organization in 1984 with his wife, Leslee, the “entire Alpha Center story was inspired by God, and the rising up of Godly people with courage to be salt and light; to take action against the most evil act in this generation – the killing of innocent unborn babies and the deliberate deception of millions of women.”

It’s possible that if South Dakota’s anti-abortion law is ever implemented, some secular crisis pregnancy centers will register with the state. But as it stands now, doctors would be required to direct women to a facility whose mission is to prevent abortions while spreading the Gospel.

*******

Peace & Love. Blog me what you will. The forum is now open.

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

Or if you would like to send a check via snail mail, please make checks payable to “Michelle Moquin”, and send to:

Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129

Thank you for your loyal support!

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

Posted in Health & Well Being | 22 Comments »

DEA Screw-Up

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 10th May 2012

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Good morning!

So…how is everyone?

Lance, Jackie and anyone else having issues: Sorry about the problems getting in yesterday. I know it is a pain trying to post sometimes and then to see your comments disappear after posting, no doubt is frustrating. As always, I appreciate you being here and your persistency to be heard!

There are so many newbies reading these days and with so many signing off with just their initials,  I am having a difficult time deciphering who is showing up here a lot to even recognize you as “regular readers”. I love the intimacy of this blog, and I love recognizing and giving recognition to my readers, so I am encouraging you to post under a name, any name to distinguish yourself. Have some fun with it! Take a cue from Zen Lill (hey ZL how’s it going?), or Social Butterfly (By the way SB/ – my readers are missing you and so am I.) Is that too much to ask? Of course if you don’t want to be recognized, then carry on as usual.

Speaking of the “regulars”, are the names changing?  Okay with me, but I am feeling a bit nostalgic on this day – not sure why but I am missing some long time readers who used to post regularly but haven’t in awhile.

Mike: Miss your political posts. How are you?

Emily: Wha’ats up girl? Miss seeing your children’s writings. Hope you’re doing good.

Helena: You still reading? How are you?

Jorge & Carla: Your names just popped into my brain. I realize you were not regular posters (but regular readers), but you both certainly left a lasting impression. I HOPE you’re both doing good.

Howie and Al: I know you two have decided to not be here anymore, but know you are always welcome to come back.

And I cannot forget AH, Bita, and Adam: It’s been awhile as well. Missing you chronicles from the past. I don’t know if you are around, but I certainly do miss hearing from you.

If I’ve left out someone please forgive me.

Clark: Watching that video was frustrating for me as well, not to mention the sick behavior of the police on this helpless homeless man. These types of abuse/murder just can’t continue to go on without justice being served. We as a country cannot stand by and let this continue.

Readers: Speaking of police, I found this write:

Daniel Chong, U.S. Man Left In Cell For 4 Days, Entered ‘Survival Mode

SAN DIEGO — The case of a detained college student who was forgotten in a holding cell for more than four days suggests a breakdown in procedure and oversight within the Drug Enforcement Administration, a California federal lawmaker said Thursday.

Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter said in a letter sent Thursday to DEA Administrator Michele Leonhart that the treatment of 23-year-old Daniel Chong raises concerns about the agency’s handling and monitoring of individuals in custody.

Chong was swept up in a drug raid on April 21. After questioning him, agents told him that he would not be charged and to hang tight in the holding cell until they finished the paperwork to release him. The door did not reopen until April 25 when agents found a severely dehydrated Chong covered in his own feces.

Chong spent five days in the hospital.

The incident was one of the worst cases of its kind, law enforcement experts say.

Hunter said he wants a full account of Chong’s incarceration, the process currently in place for holding individuals suspected of unlawful activity and the steps that the DEA is taking to address this matter in its entirety.

“The situation involving Chong may in fact be an isolated incident,” Hunter wrote. “Regardless, my concern is that this situation could also be a symptom of a bigger problem, with errors in procedure and oversight possibly extending to the division’s law enforcement function.”

Hunter said such oversight is especially important given the DEA’s presence in the U.S.-Mexico border region. He is asking for information on any other investigations pertaining to the San Diego division.

A federal law enforcement official familiar with DEA operations said the agency’s protocols require that cells be checked each night. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the matter, said the cell where Chong was held is not intended for overnight stays because it does not have a toilet.

The top DEA agent in San Diego, William R. Sherman, said in a statement that he was “deeply troubled” by what happened to Chong and has personally ordered an extensive review of his office’s policies and procedures. Sherman also issued an apology to Chong, though the student said he was not personally contacted by Sherman.

Chong told The Associated Press in an interview that he screamed and kicked the door after waiting hours in the cell.

Then as the days dragged on, the terrifying realization set in that he was trapped. He had been forgotten in a 5-by-10-foot windowless room, hearing only the muffled sounds of voices and toilets flushing in the Drug Enforcement Administration facility in San Diego.

On the third day, he began to hallucinate. He urinated on a metal bench to be able to drink his urine. He stacked a blanket, his pants and shoes on the bench and tried to reach an overhead fire sprinkler, futilely swatting at it with his cuffed hands to set it off.

Then, the engineering student says he gave up and accepted death. He bit into his eyeglasses to break them. He says he used a shard of glass to carve “Sorry Mom” onto his arm so he could leave something for her.

He managed to finish an “S.” He says he considered ending his life with the glass to quicken his death.

“I pretty much lost my mind,” he told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

Help came after four days, when agents on a fluke opened the door and found him covered in his own feces. He says a bewildered agent asked: “Where’d you come from?”

Chong was treated in the hospital for dehydration, kidney failure, cramps and a perforated esophagus. He had lost 15 pounds.

His attorneys filed a $20 million claim on Wednesday against the federal agency, saying his treatment constitutes torture under U.S. and international law. The five-page notice, a required precursor to a lawsuit, was sent to the DEA’s chief counsel in Washington, D.C. The $20 million figure refers to the maximum amount that Chong and his lawyers would seek.

Chong told the AP his ordeal started after he went to his friend’s house on April 20 to get high, part of a national, annual countercultural ritual on that date. Chong slept there that night and, the next morning, agents stormed into the house. The raid netted 18,000 ecstasy pills, other drugs and weapons. Nine people, including Chong, were taken into custody, according to the DEA.

*****

Peace out.

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

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Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129

Thank you for your loyal support!

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

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Posted in Health & Well Being | 24 Comments »

Sex Is Good

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 9th May 2012

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Good morning!

It’s “hump day”  - what better topic to write about than SEX.

Sex Is Bad

Violence > Sex.

Google the words ” Go ahead, I’ll wait. Do you notice something odd about the results? When you search for World Peace online, the first TWO pages of results are for The Artist Formerly Known as Ron Artest, and his now infamous andegregious elbow.

That’s right, for the foreseeable future, the phrase World Peace has been ruined for all of us by one of the craziest men to ever play professional basketball (and that’s a high bar). Because one nutty thug could not contain his emotions after dunking a ball through a hoop, when young kids search for something as innocuous as World Peace, they will be treated to images of senseless violence and aggression.

Two weeks ago, the Philadelphia Flyers and the Pittsburgh Penguins faced off in a playoff game that became the most watched non-finals hockey broadcast in a decade, and the most watched since NBC bought the NHL rights six years ago. The reason? It wasn’t the 8-4 score. No, it was due to the sheer in the game, including a raging brawl between the two teams’ captains and 148 combined minutes of penalties.


Last week, 38 players, including Hall of Fame defensive lineman Randy White, filed a lawsuit against the NFL, accusing the league of negligence and material misrepresentation, fraudulent concealment and conspiracy. They claim that the NFL knowingly failed to protect players from brain injuries and dementia, resulting from repeated blows to the head. Earlier this year, much of the coaching staff of the New Orleans Saints was suspended for creating a system of bounties for players who intentionally injured their opponents. The coach responsible for this system had apparently done the same thing on his previous teams.

Yes, there have been suspensions and fines. Yes, we hear that the leagues in each case take these issues “very seriously.” Yet we hear no outcry from family councils or congressmen about showing the successive games from these leagues or these teams on national TV. As I wrote this, I watched an NHL playoff game on national TV that made my daughter say, “Why is it so violent?” It was 4 in the afternoon.

Due to the great ratings and sheer volume of money connected to TV sports, there have been NO discussions about taking these games off TV until the level of violence has been addressed. And while the leagues are left to deal with troublemakers in their own kangaroo manner, there has been zero talk about criminal charges against the Saints who knowingly, with forethought and malice, planned to attack and injure members of their own league, union and brotherhood. I know I may sound hyperbolic, but just think for a second: if someone paid someone else to attack another player in a playground pick-up game, isn’t it likely that someone would be taken away in cuffs?

On the other hand, two weeks ago, the Justice Department felt compelled to appeal theof the United States – eight years after it happened (I can’t even remember what it looked like!). That’s right, when World Peace gives an unprotected bench player a concussion, he gets suspended for seven games; but when Justin Timberlake exposes Ms. Jackson’s right breast, the FCC issues CBS the largest fine in TV history and the case winds up in the highest Court in the land.


Welcome to TV in America, where violence, no matter how malicious or senseless, is just fine — no matter the context or time of day — but sex is decried, maligned, protested and verboten in all but the most secure corners of the schedule or dial. Programs that are intentionally violent appear in every part of the TV schedule — primetime, daytime, weekends — but TV’s ban on sexuality not only covers scenes of nudity or sexual acts, but our very language itself. Since , when the Supreme Court decided that George Carlin’swas too much for sensitive ears, enormous fines have been issued for uttering the word “fuck” on TV, even during live events. 


A few years ago, I executive produced a film called This Film Is Not Yet Rated. In it, director Kirby Dick showed how the ratings system in America allows — even encourages — extreme acts of violence in our popular entertainment, while censoring seemingly innocent depictions of sex or even uses of language. The latest dust-up over the film Bully is a good example, but so is last year’s The King’s Speech, which received an R rating because it used the word ‘fuck’ too many times (when the producersthe rating was lowered to a PG-13). 


The film posits a theory — that the permissiveness of our nation’s censors (appointed and otherwise) towards violence, and their outright derision of sex and sensuality, has helped make our society more belligerent and less tolerant, more prone to conflict than to acceptance.

Look, I am a BIG sports fan. Many times each season; I travel more than two hours to attend Philadelphia Eagles football games (making me the sickest kind of masochist). And I am not for blatant nudity across the primetime schedule. However, I firmly believe that our tendency to overregulate sex and underregulate violence in our media sends a mixed and misguided message to our children. Any scan of the TV dial seems bears this out. Violence of all kinds (see CSI, the NFL, WWE and the UFC) is free to roam all times of day, while sex is most often relegated to Pay TV or after 10pm.

That 2004 Super Bowl is a great example — how many players from that game are today dealing with their injuries in silence, while Janet’s halftime nipple remains held up in court? And, if you need more proof, Google World Peace and note that his team played on national TV this past weekend, at 3:30 in the afternoon.

******

Readers:  Sex is good yes? Yes, and only yes, when both (or more) parties are consenting. I find it so disturbing when you can take one of life’s most beautiful things two people can engage in together, and make it something bad. Violence is never good but sex is good (see above) and yet we can’t view this beautiful act of love in its entirety, but it is okay to view violence in its worst forms.

We can’t even utter the sexual words that so many us love to say, me included. When words such as “fuck” are censored and yet, extreme violence on TV and film that is so prevalent, is accepted. What harm can words do? Nothing, and yet violence, horrific acts by people done to other people is extremely damaging in so many ways, yet runs rampant in the media.

The message is “violence is okay and sex is not”.

And…I haven’t even broached the issue of those in control wanting to continue to control women’s bodies, etc. Your turn to talk. Blog me.

Scott: I am digging it myself.

Jorge: I find that once a LSOS, most likely always a LSOS. In my experience, people who lie and do it often, it eventually becomes habitual and they don’t know the difference between their truths and their lies. And they are excellent at convincing themselves and others that their lies are the truth.  But then when you read the comment from anonymous…and I’ll repeat the question: Is it any wonder that Mitt can lie with such ease? Nope.

AA: Nicely said and that is the truth.

Me: I came to the same conclusion. Why there are so many people out there that don’t see that…well, I know why they don’t see that, because they don’t want to. They would rather our country go down into the proverbial shithole than see a black man become the greatest president this country has ever seen. Racism and greed, as Robert, RT stated, “Gold over people” – trumps all.

Robert, RT: To me the real problem is two words: “penis envy”.

Anonz: Thanks again for always providing and illuminating this sick behavior that is getting sicker by the minute.

Alycedale: Just read your comment and you made me laugh. I was going to address Al as well in my above comment to Robert, RT, but you beat me to it. However I do agree with your sentiments; it is no consolation. By the way, how are you?

Peace & Love…

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

Or if you would like to send a check via snail mail, please make checks payable to “Michelle Moquin”, and send to:

Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129

Thank you for your loyal support!

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

Posted in Health & Well Being, Love, Sex & Relationships | 14 Comments »

Flap Your Lips Friday

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 27th April 2012


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Good morning.

Over the years we’ve read stories here over on the horrific treatment of women in the Middle East. It hasn’t changed.  A must read.

 

Why Do They Hate Us?

The real war on women is in the Middle East.

BY MONA ELTAHAWY | MAY/JUNE 2012

In “Distant View of a Minaret,” the late and much-neglected Egyptian writer Alifa Rifaat begins her short story with a woman so unmoved by sex with her husband that as he focuses solely on his pleasure, she notices a spider web she must sweep off the ceiling and has time to ruminate on her husband’s repeated refusal to prolong intercourse until she too climaxes, “as though purposely to deprive her.” Just as her husband denies her an orgasm, the call to prayer interrupts his, and the man leaves. After washing up, she loses herself in prayer — so much more satisfying that she can’t wait until the next prayer — and looks out onto the street from her balcony. She interrupts her reverie to make coffee dutifully for her husband to drink after his nap. Taking it to their bedroom to pour it in front of him as he prefers, she notices he is dead. She instructs their son to go and get a doctor. “She returned to the living room and poured out the coffee for herself. She was surprised at how calm she was,” Rifaat writes.

In a crisp three-and-a-half pages, Rifaat lays out a trifecta of sex, death, and religion, a bulldozer that crushes denial and defensiveness to get at the pulsating heart of misogyny in the Middle East. There is no sugarcoating it. They don’t hate us because of our freedoms, as the tired, post-9/11 American cliché had it. We have no freedoms because they hate us, as this Arab woman so powerfully says.

Yes: They hate us. It must be said.

Some may ask why I’m bringing this up now, at a time when the region has risen up, fueled not by the usual hatred of America and Israel but by a common demand for freedom. After all, shouldn’t everyone get basic rights first, before women demand special treatment? And what does gender, or for that matter, sex, have to do with the Arab Spring? But I’m not talking about sex hidden away in dark corners and closed bedrooms. An entire political and economic system — one that treats half of humanity like animals — must be destroyed along with the other more obvious tyrannies choking off the region from its future. Until the rage shifts from the oppressors in our presidential palaces to the oppressors on our streets and in our homes, our revolution has not even begun.

So: Yes, women all over the world have problems; yes, the United States has yet to elect a female president; and yes, women continue to be objectified in many “Western” countries (I live in one of them). That’s where the conversation usually ends when you try to discuss why Arab societies hate women.

But let’s put aside what the United States does or doesn’t do to women. Name me an Arab country, and I’ll recite a litany of abuses fueled by a toxic mix of culture and religion that few seem willing or able to disentangle lest they blaspheme or offend. When more than 90 percent of ever-married women in Egypt — including my mother and all but one of her six sisters — have had their genitals cut in the name of modesty, then surely we must all blaspheme. When Egyptian women are subjected to humiliating “virginity tests” merely for speaking out, it’s no time for silence. When an article in the Egyptian criminal code says that if a woman has been beaten by her husband “with good intentions” no punitive damages can be obtained, then to hell with political correctness. And what, pray tell, are “good intentions”? They are legally deemed to include any beating that is “not severe” or “directed at the face.” What all this means is that when it comes to the status of women in the Middle East, it’s not better than you think. It’s much, much worse. Even after these “revolutions,” all is more or less considered well with the world as long as women are covered up, anchored to the home, denied the simple mobility of getting into their own cars, forced to get permission from men to travel, and unable to marry without a male guardian’s blessing — or divorce either.

Not a single Arab country ranks in the top 100 in the World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report, putting the region as a whole solidly at the planet’s rock bottom. Poor or rich, we all hate our women. Neighbors Saudi Arabia and Yemen, for instance, might be eons apart when it comes to GDP, but only four places separate them on the index, with the kingdom at 131 and Yemen coming in at 135 out of 135 countries. Morocco, often touted for its “progressive” family law (a 2005 report by Western “experts” called it “an example for Muslim countries aiming to integrate into modern society”), ranks 129; according to Morocco’s Ministry of Justice, 41,098 girls under age 18 were married there in 2010.

It’s easy to see why the lowest-ranked country is Yemen, where 55 percent of women are illiterate, 79 percent do not participate in the labor force, and just one woman serves in the 301-person parliament. Horrific news reports about 12-year-old girls dying in childbirthdo little to stem the tide of child marriage there. Instead, demonstrations in support of child marriage outstrip those against it, fueled by clerical declarations that opponents of state-sanctioned pedophilia are apostates because the Prophet Mohammed, according to them, married his second wife, Aisha, when she was a child.

But at least Yemeni women can drive. It surely hasn’t ended their litany of problems, but it symbolizes freedom — and nowhere does such symbolism resonate more than in Saudi Arabia, where child marriage is also practiced and women are perpetually minors regardless of their age or education. Saudi women far outnumber their male counterparts on university campuses but are reduced to watching men far less qualified control every aspect of their lives.

Yes, Saudi Arabia, the country where a gang-rape survivor was sentenced to jail for agreeing to get into a car with an unrelated male and needed a royal pardon; Saudi Arabia, where a woman who broke the ban on driving was sentenced to 10 lashes and again needed a royal pardon; Saudi Arabia, where women still can’t vote or run in elections, yet it’s considered “progress” that a royal decree promised to enfranchise them for almost completely symbolic local elections in — wait for it — 2015. So bad is it for women in Saudi Arabia that those tiny paternalistic pats on their backs are greeted with delight as the monarch behind them, King Abdullah, is hailed as a “reformer”  — even by those who ought to know better, such as Newsweek, which in 2010 named the king one of the top 11 most respected world leaders. You want to know how bad it is? The “reformer’s” answer to the revolutions popping up across the region was to numb his people with still more government handouts — especially for the Salafi zealots from whom the Saudi royal family inhales legitimacy. King Abdullah is 87. Just wait until you see the next in line, Prince Nayef, a man straight out of the Middle Ages. His misogyny and zealotry make King Abdullah look like Susan B. Anthony.

SO WHY DO THEY HATE US? Sex, or more precisely hymens, explains much.

“Why extremists always focus on women remains a mystery to me,” U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said recently. “But they all seem to. It doesn’t matter what country they’re in or what religion they claim. They want to control women.” (And yet Clinton represents an administration that openly supports many of those misogynistic despots.) Attempts to control by such regimes often stem from the suspicion that without it, a woman is just a few degrees short of sexual insatiability. Observe Yusuf al-Qaradawi, the popular cleric and longtime conservative TV host on Al Jazeera who developed a stunning penchant for the Arab Spring revolutions — once they were under way, that is — undoubtedly understanding that they would eliminate the tyrants who long tormented and oppressed both him and the Muslim Brotherhood movement from which he springs.

I could find you a host of crackpots sounding off on Woman the Insatiable Temptress, but I’m staying mainstream with Qaradawi, who commands a huge audience on and off the satellite channels. Although he says female genital mutilation (which he calls “circumcision,” a common euphemism that tries to put the practice on a par with male circumcision) is not “obligatory,” you will also find this priceless observation in one of his books: “I personally support this under the current circumstances in the modern world. Anyone who thinks that circumcision is the best way to protect his daughters should do it,” he wrote, adding, “The moderate opinion is in favor of practicing circumcision to reduce temptation.” So even among “moderates,” girls’ genitals are cut to ensure their desire is nipped in the bud — pun fully intended. Qaradawi has since issued a fatwa against female genital mutilation, but it comes as no surprise that when Egypt banned the practice in 2008, some Muslim Brotherhood legislators opposed the law. And some still do — including a prominent female parliamentarian, Azza al-Garf.

Yet it’s the men who can’t control themselves on the streets, where from Morocco to Yemen, sexual harassment is endemic and it’s for the men’s sake that so many women are encouraged to cover up. Cairo has a women-only subway car to protect us from wandering hands and worse; countless Saudi malls are for families only, barring single men from entry unless they produce a requisite female to accompany them.

We often hear how the Middle East’s failing economies have left many men unable to marry, and some even use that to explain rising levels of sexual harassment on the streets. In a 2008 survey by the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights, more than 80 percent of Egyptian women said they’d experienced sexual harassment and more than 60 percent of men admitted to harassing women. Yet we never hear how a later marriage age affects women. Do women have sex drives or not? Apparently, the Arab jury is still out on the basics of human biology.

Enter that call to prayer and the sublimation through religion that Rifaat so brilliantly introduces in her story. Just as regime-appointed clerics lull the poor across the region with promises of justice — and nubile virgins — in the next world rather than a reckoning with the corruption and nepotism of the dictator in this life, so women are silenced by a deadly combination of men who hate them while also claiming to have God firmly on their side.

I turn again to Saudi Arabia, and not just because when I encountered the country at age 15 I was traumatized into feminism — there’s no other way to describe it — but because the kingdom is unabashed in its worship of a misogynistic God and never suffers any consequences for it, thanks to its double-whammy advantage of having oil and being home to Islam’s two holiest places, Mecca and Medina.

Then — the 1980s and 1990s — as now, clerics on Saudi TV were obsessed with women and their orifices, especially what came out of them. I’ll never forget hearing that if a baby boy urinated on you, you could go ahead and pray in the same clothes, yet if a baby girl peed on you, you had to change. What on Earth in the girl’s urine made you impure? I wondered.

Hatred of women.

How much does Saudi Arabia hate women? So much so that 15 girls died in a school fire in Mecca in 2002, after “morality police” barred them from fleeing the burning building — and kept firefighters from rescuing them — because the girls were not wearing headscarves and cloaks required in public. And nothing happened. No one was put on trial. Parents were silenced. The only concession to the horror was that girls’ education was quietly taken away by then-Crown Prince Abdullah from the Salafi zealots, who have nonetheless managed to retain their vise-like grip on the kingdom’s education system writ large.

This, however, is no mere Saudi phenomenon, no hateful curiosity in the rich, isolated desert. The Islamist hatred of women burns brightly across the region — now more than ever.

In Kuwait, where for years Islamists fought women’s enfranchisement, they hounded the four women who finally made it into parliament, demanding that the two who didn’t cover their hair wear hijabs. When the Kuwaiti parliament was dissolved this past December, an Islamist parliamentarian demanded the new house — devoid of a single female legislator — discuss his proposed “decent attire” law.

In Tunisia, long considered the closest thing to a beacon of tolerance in the region, women took a deep breath last fall after the Islamist Ennahda party won the largest share of votes in the country’s Constituent Assembly. Party leaders vowed to respect Tunisia’s 1956 Personal Status Code, which declared “the principle of equality between men and women” as citizens and banned polygamy. But female university professors and students have complained since then of assaults and intimidation by Islamists for not wearing hijabs, while many women’s rights activists wonder how talk of Islamic law will affect the actual law they will live under in post-revolution Tunisia.

In Libya, the first thing the head of the interim government, Mustafa Abdel Jalil, promised to do was to lift the late Libyan tyrant’s restrictions on polygamy. Lest you think of Muammar al-Qaddafi as a feminist of any kind, remember that under his rule girls and women who survived sexual assaults or were suspected of “moral crimes” were dumped into “social rehabilitation centers,” effective prisons from which they could not leave unless a man agreed to marry them or their families took them back.

Then there’s Egypt, where less than a month after President Hosni Mubarak stepped down, the military junta that replaced him, ostensibly to “protect the revolution,” inadvertently reminded us of the two revolutions we women need. After it cleared Tahrir Square of protesters, the military detained dozens of male and female activists. Tyrants oppress, beat, and torture all. We know. But these officers reserved “virginity tests” for female activists: rape disguised as a medical doctor inserting his fingers into their vaginal opening in search of hymens. (The doctor was sued and eventually acquitted in March.)

What hope can there be for women in the new Egyptian parliament, dominated as it is by men stuck in the seventh century? A quarter of those parliamentary seats are now held by Salafis, who believe that mimicking the original ways of the Prophet Mohammed is an appropriate prescription for modern life. Last fall, when fielding female candidates, Egypt’s Salafi Nour Party ran a flower in place of each woman’s face. Women are not to be seen or heard — even their voices are a temptation — so there they are in the Egyptian parliament, covered from head to toe in black and never uttering a word.

And we’re in the middle of a revolution in Egypt! It’s a revolution in which women have died, been beaten, shot at, and sexually assaulted fighting alongside men to rid our country of that uppercase Patriarch — Mubarak — yet so many lowercase patriarchs still oppress us. The Muslim Brotherhood, with almost half the total seats in our new revolutionary parliament, does not believe women (or Christians for that matter) can be president. The woman who heads the “women’s committee” of the Brotherhood’s political party said recently that women should not march or protest because it’s more “dignified” to let their husbands and brothers demonstrate for them.

The hatred of women goes deep in Egyptian society. Those of us who have marched and protested have had to navigate a minefield of sexual assaults by both the regime and its lackeys, and, sadly, at times by our fellow revolutionaries. On the November day I was sexually assaulted on Mohamed Mahmoud Street near Tahrir Square, by at least four Egyptian riot police, I was first groped by a man in the square itself. While we are eager to expose assaults by the regime, when we’re violated by our fellow civilians we immediately assume they’re agents of the regime or thugs because we don’t want to taint the revolution.

SO WHAT IS TO BE DONE?

First we stop pretending. Call out the hate for what it is. Resist cultural relativism and know that even in countries undergoing revolutions and uprisings, women will remain the cheapest bargaining chips. You — the outside world — will be told that it’s our “culture” and “religion” to do X, Y, or Z to women. Understand that whoever deemed it as such was never a woman. The Arab uprisings may have been sparked by an Arab man — Mohamed Bouazizi, the Tunisian street vendor who set himself on fire in desperation — but they will be finished by Arab women.

Amina Filali — the 16-year-old Moroccan girl who drank poison after she was forced to marry, and beaten by, her rapist — is our Bouazizi. Salwa el-Husseini, the first Egyptian woman to speak out against the “virginity tests“; Samira Ibrahim, the first one to sue; and Rasha Abdel Rahman, who testified alongside her — they are our Bouazizis. We must not wait for them to die to become so. Manal al-Sharif, who spent nine days in jail for breaking her country’s ban on women driving, is Saudi Arabia’s Bouazizi. She is a one-woman revolutionary force who pushes against an ocean of misogyny.

Our political revolutions will not succeed unless they are accompanied by revolutions of thought — social, sexual, and cultural revolutions that topple the Mubaraks in our minds as well as our bedrooms.

“Do you know why they subjected us to virginity tests?” Ibrahim asked me soon after we’d spent hours marching together to mark International Women’s Day in Cairo on March 8. “They want to silence us; they want to chase women back home. But we’re not going anywhere.”

We are more than our headscarves and our hymens. Listen to those of us fighting. Amplify the voices of the region and poke the hatred in its eye. There was a time when being an Islamist was the most vulnerable political position in Egypt and Tunisia. Understand that now it very well might be Woman. As it always has been.

******

Readers: It bothers me to no end when women write in telling us of their plight. But it doesn’t bother me when women write in telling us how much they hate their men, crying out for help. I can understand why they would feel that way. As stated above: “Yes: They hate us. It must be said.”

Women wouldn’t hate if men didn’t hate them first, if they didn’t have a reason to hate. Men do horrific things to women for no reason (not that there is ever a reason to hate like they do)…but just because they are women…because of their hate of women.

How could women not hate in return? The difference in hate, is that women hate men because of what men do, not because they are just men. Men express their hatred with violence, abuse, rape, murder. But many woman may feel their only recourse is their expression of hatred, their venting of hatred, when their hands and bodies are tied by their men…by laws controlling their every move. I can understand why women write to me asking for Madaline’s help.

Would you not if you were in their shoes?

Now it’s Friday. Blog me.

Peace & Love.

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

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