Intimate Moments With Insects
Posted by Michelle Moquin on 15th August 2010
I love my sleep. I have said so here many times.
Our tenant, who is a tad fearful of spiders had a spider problem a few weeks ago. When she started waking up with spiders in her bed, it understandably became more of an issue. We had the exterior of our house sprayed with an environmentally safe pesticide. Remove their food, they go away – Okay, problem solved.
Many, many years ago while studying fashion design in la-la-land and living in Hollywood, I woke up twice with dead cockroaches underneath me in my bed. Yuch! I’ll take spiders any day. I never kill them. I always gently scoop them up and put them outside. Okay, spider problem solved.
Cockroaches – that’s a different story. Let me just tell you, I do not scoop them up and take them outside. I complained to my landlord. Like in New York, Los Angeles has its share of roaming cockroaches. However New York has the biggest ones I have ever seen. And in Bangcock, they sell cockroaches, or at least critters that looks very much like cockroaches, on the street: A delicacy. Not my kind of delicacy, but the Thai seemed to covet them.
But I digressed – my landlord in Hollywood, at that time sprayed the interior of my rental with this pesticide, that to this day if I ever smell it, I know exactly what it is that I am smelling. And if I ever do smell that smell and I can skidoo out of where I’m at ( hopefully it is not some restaurant I am about to dine at), believe me I will as quickly as I can. Reminders of waking up with cockroaches isn’t exactly something I want to remember.
Nor is the memory of being woken up in an old boyfriend’s bed with a potato bug trying to nestle up in a warm spot. ( I thought you’d like a picture just in case you’ve never seen one – this bug is about 2.5″ long. I even found a website for those of you who want to learn more.:) It took me a few seconds to realize it wasn’t my boyfriend trying to subtly fondle me and wake me up with a dose of pleasure.
I threw back the covers, flicked the critter off nestled in my pubic bed, and I screamed a scream that I am sure the neighbors to this day still remember. All I can ever think about is how lucky I am to be a light sleeper and that I didn’t fall into an erotic dream where I might have spread these thighs to invite my little friend in for some hot lovin’ with me. Got the visual? Sex with bugs – Hmm could be someone’s turn on. Not mine – Ugh! The thought!…
Evidently talking about bugs brings me back. And perhaps I’m giving TMI. (Too Much Information)
Ah yes, so here we are at the present moment…the topic at hand…Can you guess what it is?
This Bedbug’s Life
I had been a professor of entomology for 15 years before I saw my first live bedbug. It crawled out of a plastic film canister that had been mailed to me by a distraught student in the Boston area who had no idea what it was. I was so thrilled to see a live bedbug, I showed it off to every graduate student I ran into that day: Cimex lectularius – a small, flat, wingless, brown ectoparasite that hides in cracks and crevices in human dwellings and emerges under cover of darkness to feast on human blood.
That was in 1995, and none of my students had laid eyes on Cimex lectularius either. A century ago, bedbugs were ubiquitous in New York – so much so that their presence in an apartment wasn’t considered sufficient legal cause for withholding rent. Bedbugs, one judge remarked in an early 20th century lawsuit against a landlord, “can be dealt with by the tenant by processes known to all housewives.” But with the midcentury advent of synthetic organic insecticides, these insects all but vanished from urban landscapes (and pretty much every other kind of landscape) in North America.
My Bostonian bug turned out to be one of many on the forefront of an unprecedented resurgence. Global travelers now bring in a steady supply from around the world, inconspicuously undeclared in checked bags and carry-on luggage. Today, bedbugs have been found in all 50 states, as well as Guam, Puerto Rico and American Samoa, and bedbug-related calls to pest control operators are escalating at a fantastic rate. From June 2009 to June 2010, there were more than 31,000 calls in New York City alone.
Now, bedbug-related lawsuits can lead to thousands of dollars in punitive damages for mental anguish, embarrassment or humiliation.
Everywhere New Yorkers go – theaters, stores, offices, schools, trains, ships, hospitals – bedbugs go, too, hidden in folds of clothing, bags, backpacks and purses. Getting rid of them has become more than any housewife could ever be expected to handle. Even professional pest control operators are struggling to keep up, because bedbugs have become, for the most part, resistant to the old pesticides that once were so effective, and relatively few viable chemical alternatives exist.
We reserve a special kind of enmity for bedbugs because, though humans generally do not like being anywhere other than at the pinnacle of a food chain, there is a particular horror associated with being consumed while relatively helpless, asleep in what should be the security of one’s own bed (or chair or couch). With bedbugs, it’s personal – unlike cockroaches, ants, silverfish and other vermin that are attracted to our possessions, bedbugs are after us. And they’re remarkably adept at circumventing our defenses: They not only attack while we sleep, but they also inject anesthetics, so as not to awaken us, and anticoagulants, so that in every 10-minute feeding they can suck in two to three times their weight in clot-free blood.
Bedbugs win neither praise for their sophisticated technique, nor very much respect for the fact that they don’t carry diseases, as most bloodsucking human ectoparasites do. Although their bites can cause unrelieved itchiness, bedbugs take only blood and leave no pathogens behind. In contrast, lice spread typhus; mosquitoes carry the viruses that cause yellow fever, dengue, encephalitis and West Nile disease; ticks transmit the Lyme disease bacterium; and fleas can bring the bacterium that causes plague.
But lack of involvement in spreading disease is hardly an endearing attribute. In fact, precious few aspects of bedbug biology are endearing. They don’t build their own houses or care for their young, and their sexual practices are bizarre even by insect standards: Because the female bedbug has no genital opening, the male inseminates her by using his hardened, sharpened genitalia to punch a hole through her abdomen. With no elaborate courtship ritual, males in a frenzied pursuit of sexual congress often blunder into and puncture the bodies of other males, occasionally inflicting fatal wounds.
To top it off, almost every aspect of bedbug behavior is mediated by airborne odorants, almost all of which are, when detected, repulsive to humans.
What, if anything, is there to like about a bedbug? They certainly like us; we probably have no greater admirers in the insect world. They like the way we live, unlike most vertebrates, in permanent homes. (Bats and birds, which also build homes, are hosts to several of the bedbug’s close relatives.) Bedbugs do not discriminate among humans on the basis of race, creed or socioeconomic status, and they’re happy with almost any interior decorating style; they are as happy in a French provincial nook as they are in a contemporary cranny. The bugs’ climate preferences are essentially an exact match to our own, and a small wingless creature couldn’t ask for a better traveling companion – airlines have opened a world of possibilities for a species that can’t get very far on its own six legs.
Perhaps the one good thing about bedbugs is that they provide a rare point of agreement that transcends race, religion, culture, nationality, tax bracket and party. It may be one of the few remaining universal truths – urban or rural, red state or blue, everyone agrees it would be great if bedbugs would disappear once more.
May Berenbaum, the head of the entomology department at the University of Illinois, is the author of “The Earwig’s Tail: A Modern Bestiary of Multi-Legged Legends.”
By MAY BERENBAUM,
Published: August 7, 2010 – New York Times
Readers: I found this story fascinating. Obviously I’ve had some intimate moments with bugs. Bedbugs are not on my list and I don’t plan on having any type of relationship with them intimate or otherwise. – How about you? Bothered by bugs in your bed (or just your mate?:) And spider stories you want to share? Have you been intimate with insects? Blog me.
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my ‘loyal’(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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