Get Over Your Disillusionment, And Get Back In The Game
Posted by Michelle Moquin on October 26th, 2011
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Good morning!
Well…I missed him again. Our president Obama was in San Francisco yesterday at the W Hotel for a fundraiser, and from what I read, he wasn’t exactly greeted with cheers from the waiting crowd.
“I was a supporter of Obama, but I’m so disillusioned right now,” said protester Catherine Woods. “And it seems to be getting worse and worse.”
Then I read this article this morning:
Obama courts Hispanic vote on fundraising tour of the west
President enlists support of Antonio Banderas and Eva Longoria as he moves to shore up crucial support from Latino voters
Barack Obama walks with the Bonilla family in Nevada on his fundraising tour of the west Photograph: Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Barack Obama is using a three-day visit to the West to raise funds for the 2012 White House race and to shore up the Latino vote that could prove pivotal to his re-election chances.
Obama won 67% of the Latino vote in the 2008 election campaign. But a Gallup poll this summer showed support among Latinos, upset over the failure of the president to reform immigration laws and hit disproportionately hard by unemployment, had dropped to 48%.
Over the last few months, he has made a belated effort to court Latinos, from inviting Hispanic journalists to the White House for a round-table to high-profile speeches at gatherings.
On Monday night, he attended a fund-raising party in Los Angeles co-hosted by actors Antonio Banderas and Eva Longoria. It was attended by about 120 donors from the Latino community, each paying at least $5,000 to attend.
The event attracted some criticism from within the Latino community, with some saying he should be meeting people struggling with unemployment or facing deportation or the loss of their homes rather than actors and celebrities.
At the party, Obama promised to deliver on his promises on immigration reform. He said people tended to forget how much he had accomplished: he had completed 60% of promises he made during the 2008 election campaign.
“I’m pretty confident we can get the other 40% done in the next five years,” he told the guests.
Pollsters predict that the drop in support among Latinos, if repeated in next year’s election, could see Obama lose swing states such as Nevada, New Mexico and Colorado, which he took last time.
He could also lose Florida, where the Latinos are predominantly of Cuban origin and strongly Republican. Lose Florida, Nevada, New Mexico and Colorado, and Obama would be on his way to being a one-term president.
“The Hispanic vote is going to be a lot trickier for Obama this time,” Brad Coker, a pollster based in Jacksonville, Florida and head of Mason-Dixon polling, said today. “It is going to be a significant influence on the outcome but it is too early yet to say exactly where.”
The Banderas-Longoria party was the first such purely Latino fund-raising event Obama has attended. Also present were the comedian George Lopez, and mayors Antonio Villaraigosa of Los Angeles and Julian Castro of San Antonio.
Villaraigosa blamed Congress rather than the president for the failure to enact immigration reform, including the proposed Dream legislation that would have offered a route to citizenship for the young. “President Obama does not have a vote in Congress. President Obama has been supportive of comprehensive immigration reform. ……He has called on the Congress to do their job and to fix the broken immigration system, ” Villraigosa said.
“The fact that they’ve failed to do that is not his responsibility or his fault, if you will. It’s theirs.”
While there is sympathy in the Latino community for that view, there is also a widespread feeling that Obama has failed to make immigration a priority and might have pushed it through during the early part of his presidency, when the Democrats controlled both the Senate and the House.
Such views were passionately expressed by Latino activists at a conference in DC last month, ‘Take Back the American Dream’. They contrasted Obama’s rhetoric with the actions of his administration and one statistic stood out, the level of deportations.
Federal government figures show the administration was on course to outstrip George W. Bush in terms of deportation. Obama has deported just over 1 million while Bush’s administration deported 1.57 million: but that took Bush eight years while Obama has been in office just three years.
Faced with a wave of outrage, the White House has ordered a slowdown.
While there is disillusionment with Obama, there is little sign of an exodus of Latinos to the Republicans because of their anti-immigration rhetoric.
Among those seeking the Republican nomination to take on Obama next year, the Texas governor Rick Perry could win some Latino support because he opposes creation of a wall along the Mexican border and has offered the children of illegal immigrants the same chance of an education as citizens.
But the other candidates have been strident, including Herman Cain, who upset Latinos by suggesting an electrified fence along the border to kill Mexicans, though he later said it was a joke.
Robert Zavala(42) a Latino who was out picketing Obama on his visit this week, will vote Republican but not for Cain. “I think that joke about Mexicans was inappropriate,” he said.
Zavala, in a phone interview today from Las Vegas, said Latinos were upset over lack of jobs and predicted Obama will lose Nevada. “He can do great speeches. He can move the massses but he cannot create jobs,” said Zavala, who works in the entertainment industry.
Glen Bolger, a Republican pollster who has helped scores of Republicans get elected to Congress, told party members from Nevada, Colorado, California and other western states last week that Latinos were the fastest growing part of the population. “As a party, we have to do better with Hispanic voters.”
He suggested the party could make itself more attractive by giving a higher profile to prominent Latinos in the party such as Marco Rubio, the senator from Florida and a Tea Party favourite.
Coker agreed, saying that Rubio as the vice-presidential pick would give the Republicans a boost among Latinos and if he did not want to do it, there were other prominent Latinos, such as the Nevada governor Brian Sandoval.
“That would be a wild card that would upset the Latino applecart for Obama,” Coker said.
The beauty for the Republicans is they do not even have to attract many Latinos. Obama could lose if disillusioned Latinos just opt not to turn out.
Mark Mellman, a Democratic pollster worked on the John Kerry presidential campaign and more recently for the Democratic senate leader Harry Reid in his re-election campaign last year in Nevada last year that was successful in getting the Latino vote out. He said the figures on Hispanic voters nationwide, while not as good as 2008, were not as bad as Republican pollsters suggested.
“There is no question that people are not happy and that is across the board, including Hispanics, but there is a jump between saying people are unhappy and that they will vote for someone else,” he said.
Looking at polling date, Mellman said about one in five Latinos were undecided. For many of Latinos there were serious flaws in Republican policy, not just on immigration but on other issues they cared about, such as education.
**********
Readers: I just want to say “Get over your disillusionment.” Obama is still the same same great man. Instead of looking at what hasn’t done, look at all that he has done. And more importantly look at the powers that are preventing him. Oh and don’t forget…the powers that are preventing him from prevailing are republicans that we allowed back in the driver’s seat last year. Remember? Those who chose not to vote, allowed this mess to be created. The blame shouldn’t be on Obama but ourselves for not showing up at the polls and ensuring the dems remained the majority. Remember, Obama had coattails…long flowing coattails. We had the numbers we needed then; we don’t now.
Let me post a segment from the above article:
Villaraigosa blamed Congress rather than the president for the failure to enact immigration reform, including the proposed Dream legislation that would have offered a route to citizenship for the young. “President Obama does not have a vote in Congress. President Obama has been supportive of comprehensive immigration reform. ……He has called on the Congress to do their job and to fix the broken immigration system, ” Villraigosa said.
“The fact that they’ve failed to do that is not his responsibility or his fault, if you will. It’s theirs.”
While there is sympathy in the Latino community for that view, there is also a widespread feeling that Obama has failed to make immigration a priority and might have pushed it through during the early part of his presidency, when the Democrats controlled both the Senate and the House.
Helloo…Obama can only do so much. He isn’t a miracle worker. And he does not have a vote in Congress. Obama has to deal with the House being a republican majority and the Senate not sticking together. So…whose fault it it that we no longer control both the Senate and the House? Look in mirror. So stop complaining, and get back in the game. If you’re going to bitch, bitch at the Senate…make your voice heard, and blame yourself for the republicans controlling the House.
It’s scary how people not only forget how much Obama has done, but c’mon what is scarier, is how can one forget what the republicans, the party of “no”, the party of “destruction”, the party of “money first, country last”, the party of “we don’t care what happens to the county as long as Obama doesn’t get a second term”, are saying and doing everyday!?
For people to even consider a republican president come 2012 is just insane. And the excuse of not turning out at the next election because you are so “disillusioned” is stupid to say the least, not to mention totally irresponsible, if you truly care about our country and want change to happen. Look what happened when people didn’t show up at the polls last November. And look where we are right now. Plan on it getting a lot worse if history…no if people repeat themselves.
Bottom line is…We can still get what we want. And Obama is the man who can deliver, if we just stop our bitching and back him, and get control of both the Senate and the House. A no show vote from the dems is a vote for the republicans. It is as simple as that. Opting to not show up is not an option.
I’ll tell you what…I am disillusioned too, I’m very disillusioned…but it’s not over Obama’s actions.
Thoughts? Blog me.
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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October 26th, 2011 at 10:54 am
Michelle, you are so right. Why are we as dems and indepts sLucyo easily manipulated?
What can Obama do when the republicans vote as one to block anything he proposes to keep unemployment down?
They do it so brazenly that is appears they are aware of the stupidity of the voters.
October 26th, 2011 at 11:00 am
ARE PEOPLE WHO GET PLASTIC SURGERY SICK?
If you are not extremely young, you will remember a time when having cosmetic surgery was unusual enough that people would talk about so-and-so’s face-lift (or nose job or lip plumping) for more than a few minutes before moving on to the next bit of gossip.
It wasn’t necessarily criticism about the surgery — it was just that choosing to get cut and stretched and sewed still seemed like a little bit of a desperate decision or, at best, not one to be taken lightly.
Nowadays, that’s all out the window, of course. Many women (and men) of all ages put themselves under the knife multiple times to achieve just the right look.
In fact, more than 1.6 million cosmetic surgical procedures were performed in the US in 2010, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. So it hardly seems worth yakking about.
But what I want to tell you today is that having cosmetic surgery can be a warning sign of a serious mental condition, and that the condition — in combination with the surgery — has the potential to ruin people’s lives.
The condition is called body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), and people afflicted with it obsess over what they think are facial flaws and cosmetic imperfections in other areas of the body.
These people are, in fact, unable to perceive how they really look. Now a new study confirms what many of us had suspected — lots of the people who choose to undergo cosmetic surgery have at least some symptoms of BDD.
That wouldn’t be so alarming if the surgery made them feel better, but it almost never does. And the rare times that surgery does make patients feel better, the high doesn’t last long — soon enough, people with BDD start contemplating yet another cosmetic surgery.
To find out more about BDD, I called psychologist David B. Sarwer, PhD, who specializes in treating the disorder at the Edwin and Fannie Gray Hall Center for Human Appearance at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.
We discussed a recent Belgian study of 266 patients who were having rhinoplasty (nose jobs). Researchers found that more than 30% (!) of the patients had symptoms of BDD.
The problem has become so prevalent in the world of cosmetic surgery that the American Society of Plastic Surgeons now advises doctors to screen all patients for BDD before performing surgery.
But diagnosing BDD isn’t always clear-cut and, of course, surgeons earn their livings doing surgery, so they do have a conflict of interest.
A GROWING OBSESSION WITH PERFECTION
Dr. Sarwer said that men and women are equally prone to having BDD (a little surprise there), and that symptoms fall on a continuum from somewhat intrusive to completely overwhelming.
They can include a strong belief that you have an abnormality or defect in your appearance that makes you ugly… a belief that others take special notice of your appearance in a negative way…
excessive grooming, such as hair plucking beyond what most people would consider attractive… frequent examination of yourself in the mirror or, conversely, avoidance of mirrors…
refusal to appear in pictures… wearing excessive makeup or clothing to camouflage perceived flaws… and, of course, choosing to have multiple cosmetic procedures but achieving little satisfaction.
Some sufferers of BDD avoid social situations whenever possible — and, in extreme cases, some become completely housebound.
In his experience treating BDD patients, Dr. Sarwer has found that although all BDD patients spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about their looks, women and men tend to obsess a little differently.
Women are more likely than men to focus on their facial skin, noses and the look of their hair, while men are more likely to care deeply about their muscular structure and their loss of hair.
But BDD is not just vanity — it is a real illness. In fact, another recent study from the David Geffen School of Medicine at the University of California in Los Angeles found that there are abnormalities in the brains of patients with BDD.
The area of the brain that handles visual processing is more active in BDD patients, and the more severe a patient’s BDD, the more active that part of his or her brain tends to be.
CHANGE YOUR LOOKS/CHANGE YOUR LIFE?
One hallmark symptom of BDD is what Dr. Sarwer calls “magical thinking” about cosmetic surgery.
It’s the belief that “correcting” a flaw will dramatically change one’s life, perhaps by bringing about a longed-for relationship or a dream job.
Older adults might secretly fantasize that a procedure will turn back the clock and give them a chance to relive life.
Sure, it’s good to go into a procedure with a positive attitude about the results, but Dr. Sarwer reports that a whopping 90% of BDD patients are disappointed with their cosmetic surgery and that many subsequently become depressed (or more depressed) — some even suicidal.
Fortunately, a growing number of mental health pros are becoming familiar with BDD, and many can offer effective treatment.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOVE YOUR NOSE
Dr. Sarwer noted that because BDD is a chronic condition, treatment focuses on teaching patients how to manage their symptoms — not look for a cure.
“Our goal isn’t to get patients to love their noses,” he said, “but rather to get them to tolerate their noses and not have negative feelings about their looks that dramatically interfere with their daily functioning.”
Doctors have found that the most effective treatment is typically a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy (in which patients learn a new, healthier way of thinking) and antidepressant medication.
But not all patients need drugs to make progress. Most patients need three to six months of treatment to see a positive change, but because the intensity of the disorder can rise and fall –
and may worsen during times of stress — many patients stay in touch with mental health pros for much longer.
It may take some persistence to find a mental health professional with experience treating BDD, Dr. Sarwer said.
One route is to call the mental health facility at a large medical center near you and ask for referrals. Insurance coverage varies, but when there is coverage for mental health in general, there is usually coverage for treatment of BDD.
It’s worth doing whatever it takes to help yourself (or someone you love) so you can finally look in a mirror — and see clearly.
Source:
David B. Sarwer, PhD, associate professor of psychology, Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.
He specializes in treating BDD at the Edwin and Fannie Gray Hall Center for Human Appearance at the university.
October 26th, 2011 at 11:05 am
299
No. 299 of 365
Quote Joe Biden on choosing a president:
“I believe that’s a metaphor, a metaphor for what the country is looking for. They’re looking for a sleepover with people they like!”
October 26th, 2011 at 12:04 pm
We are in 1891:
When a black man makes good in Washington, Georgia, the community honors him. When he has gone away poor and returned rich, he is welcomed into the ranks of Afro-American wealth with a sumptuous public feast.
So prosperous black citizens ordered a celebratory banquet at Lizzie Hughes’ Cook-house when one of their number came home in triumph after several years’ absence.
The meal was excellent., though the only meat served was a markedly pale, lean and firm fleshed, tasting something like veal. When the diners congratulated Mrs. Hughes and asked her what the meat was, the woman’s little daughter replied, before her mother could speak, “My sister.”
She then told of watching her mother kill, butcher and cook her own child that afternoon. A doctor confirmed that the bones were human. And only the arrival of the police prevented summary justice from being executed on Mrs. Hughes.
AH
October 26th, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Alycedale and Zen Lill:
Loved reading your back to back. I have been approached by a female but I never could have accepted the concept because I can’t imagine what to a female could do sexually to satisfy me.
But since I admire the two of you I purchased a couple of lesbian XX videos. They were not cheap. I decided to record my reactions before I watch one of them and what I feel like after.
Now for the video. I hope I won’t go to hell for watching. I am a catholic.
Flora
October 26th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
I agree a no show vote from the dems is a vote for the republicans. This needs to get out! We need to take back the House!!!!!!!
Carla
October 26th, 2011 at 1:01 pm
from a friend today-
Fox News: Rich people paying rich people to tell middle class people to blame poor people
October 26th, 2011 at 1:13 pm
Alycedale, while I respect your opinion, I must counter two things you said in your post.
First, if a woman starts to have feelings, she should move on unless she’s prepared to leave her hubby. To try to “do it like a man, but better”, to me, does not mean you must act like a man. Women, by our very wonderful nature, are emotional. Embrace it with your lover, don’t run from it. Being true to yourself often involves risk, so take the plunge. Enjoy the experience. Like a WOMAN. If you get hurt, you get hurt, but at least you give it “your all.”
Second, your comment that women rarely catch an STD from another woman is not only ignorant but downright dangerous.
Some STDs such as herpes, genital warts and HPV are transmitted by skin-to-skin contact between women. Other infections such as bacterial vaginosis (BV), trichomonas (trich), chlamydia and gonorrhea can pass between women in the vaginal fluid. There have also been reports of HIV and syphilis being transmitted between women. The risk of transmission is greater during menstruation (a period). The types of sexual behavior that carry risk for STD transmission between women are listed below, along with ways to reduce the risk of transmission.
*) Oral-vaginal/vulval contact (also known as cunnilingus, “going down”, etc.) Putting the mouth on the vagina or vulva can spread STDs like herpes, syphilis and possibly gonorrhea. Using dental dams or plastic wrap can reduce the risk.
*) Digital-vaginal contact (also known as, “finger-fucking”, “fisting”, “fist-fucking”)
Putting fingers in the vagina can spread herpes, HPV and bacterial vaginosis, trichomonas, chlamydia, and gonorrhea if a woman is exposed to vaginal fluid from an infected partner. Using gloves or finger cots can reduce the risk.
*) Oral-anal contact area (also known as anilingus, “rimming”) Contact between the mouth or tongue and anus (butt) can spread syphilis, herpes, hepatitis A and intestinal (gut) infections. The risk of infection is much higher in the partner who uses her mouth. Using dental dams or plastic wrap can reduce the risk.
*) Genital-genital & genital-body contact (tribadism or frottage) can spread STDs such as HPV, pubic lice (crabs) and herpes. Wearing clothes and for herpes, avoiding contact if sores are present, reduces the risks.
*) Insertive sex (using toys or dildos) Sharing toys or dildos used in the vagina or anus can spread trichomonas, chlamydia and gonorrhea, herpes, HPV and possibly other STDs. The risk can be reduced by using condoms or by not sharing toys.
*) Piercing and sadomasochistic activities (SM) These activities can transmit HIV, hepatitis B and C if blood is shared. The risk can be reduced by the use of clean needles and avoiding activities that cause blood to be shared. Of these infections, vaccination is only available for hepatitis B.
You can find out more about HIV Risk for Lesbians, Bisexuals & Other Women Who Have Sex With Women at http://www.GMHC.org.
October 26th, 2011 at 2:37 pm
HI Mischa, thank you for admonishing the dems who did not come out, I mean, really…we can only blame it on that, next time get out and vote – if you want to be heard.
SB, very thorough, though…hmm, plastic wrap and dental dams and all that prohibitive stuff is enough to make me just stick with my hetero lovin’ and I know you’ll recommend it there also though all of the above makes the case for one lover at a time and get tested if you think your partner was tossing side salad without dressing. Its inevitable you’ll catch some minor/major STD unfortunately at some point in life…I am extremely lucky in that regard, knock on wood (oh, a pun!)…and I would wish that for everyone.
Flora, sweetheart, you can see whatever you want free at pornhub.com, I thought everyone knew that one. Go get your money back and stream it for free…and they have everything there…not that I watch…much…
Luv, Zen Lill
October 26th, 2011 at 3:23 pm
To the Curious of Sunday, October 23:
I have tried to honestly answer more of your questions.
Hi Ila #9:
Being an American Indian, you believe that God is part of the planet Earth. In a way that is true. Everything in the Universe is a part of God. everything that exists, including this planet exists because God created it with his imagination.
This planet earth did not create itself. Through science we know this to be true. Scientists still do not know what brought the universe into existence. They call it the “Big Bang”. What caused the big bang? They will never really know. They can only speculate, measure and examine what has been created by the imagination of the Gods.
I have given my concept of God many times on this blog. A God is an eternal being who can create reality out of nothing using their imagination.
HOWIE
Hello Cui #10:
I can empathize what you have been through. It is difficult to overthrow a Super Power such as China, which for the first time, is benefiting from being the world’s largest manufacturer and exporter of goods.
China is experiencing what the U.S. went through after World War II. It is growing as fast as it can.
The United States has lost its position in the world because China took over. They have the largest population of any country in the world and are experiencing a renaissance.
As for Tibet. I believe that China should never have crossed the mountains and taken Tibet as its own territory. They deserve to be autonomous.
HOWIE
Dear Qeren #11:
I try to be fair. There are always ones who will not agree with my opinion and that is fine.
I think it is great that Michelle and I have changed a few minds in the West Banl area. Suicide bombing hurts everyone involved. The bomber, their family and the innocent who are killed.
I have been to Israel and Palestine several times including during Ramadan. I have had a feast in my honor from my Arab friends when I left to return back to the U.S.A. The party, including a roasted lamb was unforgettable.
HOWIE
October 26th, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Leaders of the House and Senate Agriculture Committees are attempting a breathtaking end-run around the democratic process. They are hatching their own farm bill in private and plan by Nov. 1 take it to the new deficit Super Committee to be enacted whole, without votes in their own committees or in Congress.
The farm bill sets U.S. food policy for five years. It is the biggest environmental bill by far that Congress enacts. One quarter of California — 27.6 million acres — is farmland, much of it in the heavily polluted San Joaquin Valley. Agriculture covers 40 percent of the land in the United States. How food is grown on that land has massive consequences for the air, waterways and wildlife. The farm bill also (mis)shapes the American diet.
The Ag committees, populated by Midwest and Southern farm state lawmakers from both parties, want to defend subsidies to the big commodity crops such as corn, wheat, cotton and rice. They know that $5 billion a year in “direct payments” to commodity farmers are vulnerable, so they want to replace these with a new scheme to “insure revenues.” The new scheme — variations of which are being written by the commodity groups — would lock in today’s record crop prices as a new subsidy while claiming to save money.
Let us pray that the other committees in Congress don’t get the same idea. The deficit Super Committee was born last summer as a political manuever to get around Congress’s inability to raise the debt ceiling and make hard choices generally. If the Super committee can pass a deficit reduction plan, it will be presented to Congress for an up-or-down vote without amendment. This would allow the Ag committees to get their farm bill enacted into law without so much as a vote. The Super Commitee may be well intended, but its creation has clearly opened a Pandora’s Box by overriding the normal committee process.
“It’s a profoundly undemocratic process,” said Kari Hammerschlag, a senior analyst with Environmental Working Group in Oakland.
California, the nation’s largest farm state, locked out for decades from the commodity subsidy system because it grows mainly fruits, nuts and vegetables, is sure to get short-changed by this process.
California food, health and environmental groups such as Roots of Change, Prevention Institute and others have sent a letter, signed by more than 16,000 Californians, urging California’s Congressional delegation, Gov. Jerry Brown and state farm and health officials to lobby for changes that would protect current conservation programs, the incorporation of fresh fruits and vegetables into federal food programs and the like.
What Californians really need to do is not lobby within this new “process” but blow it up completely. Congress needs to go back to regular order before the Armed Services Committees figure out they can jam through Pentagon spending the same way.
October 26th, 2011 at 5:05 pm
I am a lesbian and I have experienced the heartbreak of discovering that while married to a man. I am the mother of 3 lovely children. I met and fell in love with a woman while happily married( I though) to a wonderful man.
That was 6 years ago. The woman I fell in love with stayed with me for three years and left me for another woman. I was heartbroken a second time. But it was during that period of mourning and the support I got from one of my daughters, and my ex husband that I realized that it would have been better had I had my fling and stayed married.
So I agree with you Alycedale. One wouldn’t give SB’s advice to a maturing child. I see no difference between a woman entering her first affair and a child entering his/her first romantic encounter.
No one would tell a child to “Embrace it with your lover, don’t run from it. Being true to yourself often involves risk, so take the plunge. Enjoy the experience. If you get hurt, you get hurt, but at least you give it “your all.”
We would advise caution. We would advise not to allow your emotions to get you to do something your morals, logic, or common sense tells you is not right.
The same should apply to a woman having her first affair. Many things effect our emotions, that time of the month, the arrangement of the planets, the Seasons, the color of the clothes your potential lover has on, etc. No, my advice runs closer to Alycedale’s.
Women use your brains first, then allow your emotions to run free, with the caveat that they should be tempered by how your behavior with effect those you love.
My experience was a disaster because I allowed my emotions to control my common sense. I manage a company of more than 1300 employees, yet I allowed a 28 year old employee dictate how I dealt with my family because thought I was being “true to myself,” when I was just being selfish.
Today I conduct my romantic life as a business. It is much more orderly and I enjoy the control, freedom and peace of mind it gives me.
Amanda
October 26th, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Social Butterfly:
I stand corrected by your admonishment concerning your STD worming. I have a long history of sexual relations with women and I have never contacted anything. I was probably just lucky.
On the other hand twice I have contacted a STD from a man. Both times I was a teenager thinking I knew the guy was safe and I was on the pill.
Reading your admonitions is both scary and it would seem a reason to be even more concerned about allowing one’s emotions to dictate the direction one takes in a relationship. But they were certainly needed. Thank you for correcting me without delay.
I would have commented earlier but I was in a meeting. You are a blessing to women on this blog.
Alycedale
October 26th, 2011 at 5:22 pm
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zen Lill, thank you, thank you, thank you. What a site!! I didn’t know that that stuff could be put on the web. I watched and watched and watched each hour getting bolder and bolder.
I expected to have my door kicked in by the police at any moment while viewing but my attention war too riveted to care after a while.
Yes, I can do that. I am so looking forward to having a woman in bed. I will of course take the precautions that you advice Social Butterfly.
Thanks All
Flora
October 26th, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Alycedale, Social Butterfly – you both are blessings to us women, not only because of the useful and important information you have taken the time to post on this blog, but also because of you, we can then teach our daughters, granddaughters, lovers, friends what we have learned from you.
Winter
October 26th, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Howie:
Thank you for taking the time to answer me. Many in my tribe who look for answers to why God allowed the white man to wipe out the existence of so many of our peoples can relate to your explanation.
God imagined the planet here, but it is up to us humans to make it a good place for all of God’s creations to live in harmoniously.
Ila
October 26th, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I have never been approached by a woman. I am considered very attractive by men. I never have to buy drinks when I go out. They practically line up to buy me drinks.
I know they think because I am blond that I am dumb and a few drinks later they will be in my pant, but I always go home to the man I love.
I just like to use my looks to get free drinks. I do allow them to talk to me and make their play. Some of the lines are very good, but I can’t cheat on my man.
He is very good to me. I am 27, he is 48. His age and my extraordinary good looks makes him a little insecure some times, but his purchasing power and his $500,000 MBZ helps him get a hard on.
Viagra keeps it hard. So I am happy with him. I know that he would not be threatened by me having a relationship with a woman so I am interested.
Except I have never been hit on by a woman. I can’t say I even know any lesbians. So SB, Alycedale or anybody please tell me how I go about it.
Monica
October 26th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Winter:
I agree with you 100%. I wish someone had helped me understand my feelings towards women. I fell in love with my best friend in middle school.
I didn’t understand my feelings. She didn’t so there we were.
Izumi
October 26th, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Howie:
You have many friends through the arab world. Many can see the wisdom in your words.
October 26th, 2011 at 6:04 pm
SB, I am a hetero who has never tried a woman though I have often been propositioned. Listening to you gave me a different impression from Zen Lill.
When I think about the things a woman can get from a woman going down on her with her mouth, it makes me now think twice about allowing a man to do it without using a dental dam.
Men love eating women. That means that he could pick up something from another woman and give it to me when he is eating me out sans a dental dam. So will you please tell me what that is and where I can get one or some?
Joyce
October 26th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
SB, yes I too would like to know where one gets a dental dam and what it looks like. Could you also tell me how to use it?
I have let men I wouldn’t fuck finger me or go down on me. It is scary all the things they could be giving me. Men are much nastier than women.
I can’t tell you the number of men who have gone down on me while I was on my period.
I am not gay so I will not be having any women lovers, but your advice is as much for us straight women as it is for gay women.
Thank you for possibly saving my life. You have certainly changed my sexual habits.
Dia
October 26th, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Except for the genital to genital contact from a female, I can’t think of a one of those diseases a man couldn’t give to me.
Honestly, I thought I was safe because I always make my lovers use a condom. But Social Butterfly, your tale of STDs is very enlightening.
Scary as hell, I might also add. Especially in light of the fact that I make the man wear a condom even if he just wants head. Yet, I let him go down on me without that dental dam. I don’t even know what a dental dam is.
Please be more specific,
June
October 26th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Okay, will someone tell me how to use “plastic wrap” and what brand do I buy?
Greg
October 26th, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Flora, you are very welcome and good luck.
You can buy any of the aforementoned products at your local adult entertainment’ store, every town has one, believe me. They also carry some other items of interest, so find a store where the shop keep doesn’t creep you out, or you could always shop on-line @ http://www.undercovercondoms.com
Greg, I’m sure a square of Saran wrap would work just fine : ) I did LOL at that comment though…anything that blocks bodily juices from your mouth will work.
I did read an article recently linking certain throat cancers to all you happy peach lickers so yes, be careful out there…
Luv, Zen Lill
October 26th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Oh Monica, I’m sure if you’re that attractive you’ve been it on, you just didn’t recognize where the convo was going bc you didn’t end up there or take them up on the invitation, that or they sensed you were very hetero and gave up prematurely.
Life being the way it is when you choose to have multiple partners, whether you’re a serial monogamist or you like to have 2-3 at the same time, it’s really tough to avoid an STD unless you wear a hazmat suit it seems…
- ZL
October 27th, 2011 at 6:07 am
Phyllis McGinley has become one of the nation’s most popular poets. She has written several volumes of verse, but of all her wouk I think I like best the poem she turned out when she was six years old. It does something to me. Here it is:
===============
Sometimes in the evening
When the day is red and pink
I love to lie in a hammock
And think and think and think
October 27th, 2011 at 6:45 am
These are the kind of lies the republican propaganda machine called Human Events sends out.
——————————–
If I Were a Liberal
by Ann Coulter
Share Your Comments
If I were a liberal, I would have spent the last week in shock that a Democratic audience in Flint, Mich., cheered Vice President Joe Biden’s description of a policeman being killed. (And if I were a liberal desperately striving to keep my job on MSNBC, I’d say the Democrats looked “hot and horny” for dead cops — as Chris Matthews said of a Republican audience that cheered for the death penalty.)
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Biden’s audience whooped and applauded last week in Flint when he said that without Obama’s jobs bill, police will be “outgunned and outmanned.” (Wild applause!)
I suppose liberals would claim they were applauding because they believe Obama’s jobs bill will prevent these murders. Which reminds me: Republicans believe the death penalty prevents murders!
Which belief bears more relationship to reality? …
Click here to continue reading Ann Coulter’s column
——————————-
They will make any claim to rile their rank and file.
Mike
October 27th, 2011 at 6:50 am
Dear MoveOn member,
Last night, Scott Olsen, a Marine who served two tours in Iraq, was struck in the head by a “nonlethal” projectile fired by the Oakland police. The round fractured his skull, leaving him in critical condition.1
Olsen had joined with other members of Occupy Oakland to peacefully protest the group’s eviction that morning. When a group gathered to help Olsen after he was hit, a police officer threw a flash bang grenade into the group from a few feet away.
Deeply disturbing video of the incident was captured by a local news crew and provides the clearest evidence yet of the lengths that authorities will go to to stop Occupy protesters from voicing uncomfortable truths about our economy.
Yesterday’s eviction in the predawn hours2 and last night’s violence against protesters are only the latest attempts to silence the voices of those who are speaking up for the 99%.
But members of Occupy Oakland, who faced the most brutal crackdown yet, refuse to be intimidated. They’ve called for another peaceful gathering tonight to stand up for their First Amendment rights.3
To help defend their rights, we’re scrambling to put together a rapid response ad to run in Oakland urging Mayor Quan and the police to end their brutal tactics and respect the protesters’ rights.
We want to make sure everyone in Oakland sees the footage of the crackdown for themselves. Every dollar we raise will go to pay for the ad, and if there’s anything left over, we’ll donate it to a group doing good work helping our veterans as they come home from war.
October 27th, 2011 at 8:45 am
Joyce, Dia and June, I’m happy to hear I have made an impact on your sexual habits and future health. June, I’m impressed you only give head with a condom. Its one of the easiest way to reduce risk but so few people actually follow through with it.
For those interested in dental dams, you can buy dental dams at medical supply stores and online. You can also make a dental dam from a condom (instructions here: http://std.about.com/od/prevention/ht/dentaldamhowto.htm). You could try asking your dentist if you have a good relationship, as they are common in the industry. That’s where I got my first finger cots.
Finger cots are very cheap. You can buy 144 of them for 3.99 on Amazon. Cots are good, even for monogamous couples, depending on your play style. One of my lovers is fascinated with my ass. When we are writhing like cats in heat, my lover often wants to put a finger inside of me. Its hard to remember when you’re in the moment to “use this hand for that side and this hand for this” to avoid cross-contamination especially during a marathon session. Suiting up with cots before you start getting hot and heavy, allows the play to happen spontaneously, and then the cot can be removed very quickly immediately after and the hands are free to explore other areas of the body, without the risk of travelling bacteria or having to take a pause and wash up.
I just want to add one more thing: I find it kind of sad that some here would think that a woman using her emotions means that she would by default do something that her morals, logic, or common sense would tell them is not right. “Being emotional” seems to be dirty words here. The perception seems to be that an emotional woman is the worst of a woman, that it is a weakness and if you are emotional, there is no way you can be smart. Shame on some of you for feeding into the male’s ideal of what a being an emotional woman means. A woman can be emotional and smart. In my opinion, more men need to be like women, i.e., caring, sensitive, loving (aka emotional), not the other way around. IMHO we need more caring loving people on the planet, not less.
I am proud to be woman capable of great emotion and not afraid to show it.
/SB
October 27th, 2011 at 10:10 am
I have signed many a petition and I am a supporter of MoveOn.Org.
What happened to Naomi Wolf in new York and last night to Scott Olsen should not be tolerated anymore. There should be an abundance of video cameras and News media at “Occupy” demonstrations across the country.
Most of all, the Demonstrators should be non-violent and should not provoke the Police. They can cause unnecessary pain and injuries to demonstrators. They can also have the media portray them as violent and deserving punishment from the police.
It should be shown to the entire world that a peaceful demonstration demanding equal rights for the 99% less fortunate population in this country is being tormented by Police and Federal agencies because the Billionaires and their Corporations control the Justice System just as they control the Courts of our once-great country.
Can anyone reading this imagine Mitt Romney as the next President? — I can’t.
Last night’s violence against protesters are only the latest attempts to silence the voices of those who are speaking up for the 99%. The need all the support they can get.
This is the time for action. If you are affected by foreclosure of your home or cannot find a job and are teetering on homelessness because of the economic situation in the U.S.A., then if you can get off your asses and do something, please do it.
Momentum is important or the past efforts of the “Occupy” groups around the country can fizzle out and the 1% will have their way once again.
They look at the demonstrations as a pimple on their asses. We must show them that a little Clearasil will not work this time — We have had more than we can tolerate and just as the demonstrations in the 1960’s changed the world, we can do the same now. We really need to change the rules of the game in favor of the majority — not the 1% minority. That is how a democracy is supposed to function — A Government by the people … for the People.
HOWIE
I will be replying to more people today. I try to give each request a lot of thought before I answer as honestly as possible.
HOWIE
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