Telltale Signs Of A Cheating Spouse
Posted by Michelle Moquin on May 14th, 2012
Good morning!
I thought this would be an interesting topic- knowing my readers – one that might inspire quite a bit of back and forth discussion.
Girls: Listen up.
Cheating Signs: How To Tell If Your Spouse Is Cheating (VIDEO)
How can you tell if your spouse is cheating?
In a video posted on the “Anderson” show’s website Tuesday, licensed private investigator Amy Drescher says unfaithful spouses — especially men — tend to give a common response when pressed about suspicious behavior (say, new computer passwords or unexplained late nights outs).
“The more [the woman] starts to press him, there’s one thing that I commonly hear that she hears from him… he’s going to tell her, ‘you’re crazy’ and every time she confronts him again he’s going to remind her, ‘you’re crazy,’” Drescher explained. “It’s important for her to realize she’s not crazy — that there is a significant reason why she’s having these doubts.”
Other signs that your partner may be cheating, according to a February 2010 Marie Claire article? Less sex and a tendency to be overly protective or antsy when receiving calls or texts.
Here’s the article from Marie Claire:
Nine Signs He’s Cheating
Less SexUnless he’s Superman, he can only have so much sex. So, if he’s getting it from another source, you might notice. Whether it’s another woman or a porn addiction — even if he’s not cheating — a decrease in sex signals serious issues in the relationship.Jumpy Cell Phone Habits
In a perfect world, we’d be open about sharing our correspondence with our significant others. Most of the time, we trust that we don’t have to worry about who is texting or calling them. But, if you notice that he is getting protective and/or nervous when he gets calls or texts, it may be cause for alarm.
Gushing or Talking About Someone Suddenly
You know that exhilarating feeling you get when you meet someone new and exciting? You want to tell the world about him. One of my exes began talking about a guy a lot near the end of our relationship — he just always seemed to be at her social gatherings that I didn’t happen to attend. Sure enough, after she dumped me, she began dating him.
Disconnect
Even though relationships ebb and flow naturally, if you’re sensing that he’s drawing away from you, then there may be someone else. Emotional disconnect should be investigated regardless of whether it’s caused by cheating. There’s a problem if he’s not laughing or seeming as passionate as usual. It’s hard to spread love/passion between two people, so the person who used to have it will feel it slipping away if it’s being given to someone else.
He’s Pulling Houdinis
If he’s disappearing, traveling, or unavailable to the point where you are starting to wonder, then he could be cheating. Also, these times tend to take on a pattern because it’s tough to synch up schedules, especially in secret.
Friends Acting Strange
His friends will certainly remain loyal to him in most cases. They will not let you know what’s going on, but they will definitely be racked with guilt, and their behavior may change slightly when they are around you while protecting his secret.
Caught in Other Lies About Other Things
If you catch him in a lie, your trust will naturally be damaged. Don’t hold a grudge — forgiveness is a good thing. You can forgive, but don’t forget. If he consistently breaches your trust, it’s establishing a pattern of behavior that leads to cheating. Do yourself a favor: If he keeps lying, whether these lies are big or small, get out while you can and don’t let him talk his way back in.
Been There, Done That
I always say: “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” If he’s done it before, he’s definitely capable of doing it again. It has nothing to do with you, which is why you can’t say that he cheated on his previous lover because she didn’t keep him happy. Cheating is a self-serving act in which the cheater doesn’t take his significant other into consideration. If someone is upfront with you that he’s made mistakes in the past, maybe give them a chance — but make it a long probationary period before you let your guard down.
Your Gut Tells You So
Don’t ignore your sixth sense. People are gifted at sensing when something doesn’t feel right. Whether there are red flags in your relationship that are clueing you in or not, if something feels off, don’t ignore this feeling. Usually that feeling is right, and something intangible may have led to you figuring it all out.
Do you have any red flags that you’d add to this list? Would you say that you’re generally good at figuring cheaters out, or do you seem to find yourself getting cheated on often? What sorts of behaviors do you think are characteristic of someone who could be a cheater
******
Readers: Click over on the links for more. And click on the above main title if you want to read telltale signs tweeted from girls and guys. What signs are hints to you that your spouse could be cheating? Blog me.
Scott: With such an important election this year, I welcome all of the political “experts”. I HOPE that those who oppose are reading here and they will see the other side, the logical fair-thinking, let’s benefit all, vote for Obama, side.
Don’t worry, there are plenty of other things to post and discuss (and we certainly cover most here :), but you can bet that the closer we get to election, the more the political banter. And I welcome it. I HOPE you will too. :)
Peace out.
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)
May 14th, 2012 at 10:44 am
I’ll sum it up in a few words today:
Cheating – The act of promising monogamy to someone then getting sexual with someone else without the first person’s permission.
It’s the act of promising one thing while doing another that’s more the issue, bc that requires lying and all that goes with the cover up and that’s what usually inflicts the hurt/pain…at least, that’s my opinion.
OK, so it makes the case for just stating ‘I am not looking for monogamy in this relationship/marriage, I am looking for (fill in the blank)’ bc frankly, just based on stats out there, it occurs to everyone at least once in a while to take a bite of a side salad, the issue is that you promised something else, if you don’t want that, don’t agree to it, though men will often say yes to an exclusive/monogamous bc they will not man up and state what they want out loud, or they want to step out but not have her step out (more often the case), or they just are going along with that unspoken ‘lie and ask forgiveness’ later thing.
I would prefer the open communication policy though you have to be open to constant communication and change can occur at any time, and maybe the convo hurts and people prefer to believe if he/she is the one they wouldn’t dream of cheating (or just wanting to change it up for a moment) – that’s life though…
Luv, Zen Lill
May 14th, 2012 at 10:51 am
The only word to describe cheating is betrayal – betrayal of trust,love, honor.
W/
May 14th, 2012 at 10:57 am
Did any of you notice that Mitt Romney’s definition of marriage “…is a relationaship between one man and one woman…” Huh? Relationship??? In my book, marriage is a commitment (between two people). I wonder…could he be a cheater? Wouldn’t it be a surprise if he was a closet gay…? Just saying….just venting…. ;-)
W/
May 14th, 2012 at 1:23 pm
I might be off a day … but wanted to say … HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Christine76… Happy Birthday Lady!
/SB
May 14th, 2012 at 11:16 pm
That was a very timely article. My husband fits the scenario to a tee. I have been tempted to do the same. If he only knew how many of his so called friends were hitting on me.
Mary
May 14th, 2012 at 11:24 pm
I guess the country doesn’t matter. Here in Reykjavik, my girlfriends are always complaining about catching their men cheating. I’m gay so I have a different problem. My partner is too possessive.
I’ve heard that in men that usually means they are cheating and the over possessiveness is a reflection of their not trusting the woman because they know what they would do given the opportunity.
Or because they use the control that the woman gives them, because she accepts their possessive behavior, to always know where she is so that they can be assured that they will not get caught cheating.
So is there anyone out there would has any experience in that area?
Ída
May 14th, 2012 at 11:46 pm
Break up the BANKS now…Feds are doing nothing!! Thieves and more thieves…what are we waiting for…until no one has a dime left in their bank account?
They already took your house, they’ve already took your retirement, they’ve already taken your job…and still no revolution?
We deserve everything we get UNTIL we get a strong leader to deal with the FEDS!!!!
May 14th, 2012 at 11:49 pm
Fuck, this was long over due, Michelle. Reading this, I just know the bastard is cheating.
May 14th, 2012 at 11:50 pm
Why are you women so concerned about your man cheating? If I didn’t cheat on my wife, I would have left her 11 years ago.
Sometimes it makes a man a better partner.
Roger
May 14th, 2012 at 11:54 pm
When I caught my first husband cheating on me, I went after his younger brother. That 23 years ago. I father 4 children by his brother and none by him.
I make sure to take precautions when I fucked him. But his brother was the one I chose to have his kids by.
When I caught him last year for the third time. I filed for a divorce. When the divorce was final and I got a hefty share of the funds.
I told everyone who the father of my kids were, right after his brother and I got married. He shot himself last week.
Good riddance to bad trash.
Grace.
May 15th, 2012 at 12:02 am
My husband has at least six of those clues staring me in the face. We both read your blog. He turned beet red when I confronted him with it.
He broke down and cried while he confessed to his infidelity. I am getting a lawyer tomorrow and it is good-bye charlie to him. He should have known what would happened.
When we read about you and Doug, I said if I am ever confronted with a similar situation(I am not asserting that Doug cheated on you. Nor am I asking for you to comment on that issue), I would do as you did, cut the ties and move on.
At the time he said that we were committed to each other and that would never happen. Men are such liars! All the time he was putting on a show of being against the kind of behavior he was so guilty of.
I know that you are reading this, honey. My advice dig deep and get a good lawyer, I will tomorrow.
Frances
May 15th, 2012 at 12:46 am
Damn! i have been trying to get in all day. What’s with this can’t get a data base connection.
Okay I’m taking your advice Michelle and making my comment in the event I get in.
My husband of 19 years got caught by my best friend. She knew about his “indiscretion” for two years, but didn’t tell me.
Did I mention “was my best friend.” With friends like that who needs whatever. She said that she didn’t want to be responsible for our break-up. As far as I’m concerned the minute he cheated, it was over. The fact that I didn’t know about it was immaterial.
I learned by clues number 1 and five. Hell, this is great pussy and if he stopped hitting it regularly, I knew he was either sexually incapacitated in some way or he was cheating.
It was the actions of his pards confirmed it. Some avoided me and others became a bit too friendly. So I confronted him. He lied and lied.
I won’t reveal how I discovered it here because I will be using that technique again and some men are probably reading this to discover how not to get caught.
But when I did confront him in a way that he couldn’t deny it, he lied and said that it was his first time. That’s when the woman I thought was my best friend let it slip that she had discovered him with another woman 2 years ago.
I wanted to snatch the idiot’s hair out. She let me go through this for 2 years and continued to call herself my “best” friend.
I asked her before I kicked her ass to the curb what was going through her mind. I already told you what she said.
“Bitch,” I said, “get the fuck out of my house and never bring your stupid ass near me again.” And I mean every word of it.
Brenda
May 15th, 2012 at 12:51 am
Ladies, if the man you are with cheated on his partner to be with you, he WILL cheat on you if the desire and opportunity arrives.
Helen