Listen To Your Mother
Posted by Michelle Moquin on November 22nd, 2008
Okay this is to all you men and women out there, but especially to men…and for once I just don’t mean white men…I mean ALL men including otw’s – got it? I don’t want to get ripped a new one. This pertains to your health, your safety and the safety of others. And the reason why I say especially men because men for some reason have a difficult time with this very simple little task. No matter how much I speak about it to friends and family, I continue to get grossed out by the fact that men still refuse to do this and make it a habit.
So what is this simple task? Something your mother has been screaming about since you were a child and if you haven’t taken on the habit now, your wife or sig other is probably bitching at you too.
It’s time to grow up and WASH YOUR HANDS!
If this little video doesn’t get you to change your nasty little ways, I am not sure what will and quite frankly, I am going to label you ‘hopeless’.
My cousin…and I won’t name names because if you have been reading my blog, you’ll remember way back I blogged about a dream that I had which included my beloved grandmother, and shit hit the fan big time in my family….anyway…my cousin (who is male) who just always has me in stitches, tells me, “Shit man, I not only wash after I go to the bathroom, but I wash my hands before I even get near to touchin’ ‘my guy’!” Amen.
I mean c’mon guys…you’re out doing whatever you do, hands contacting whatever they touch all day long. Too much morning coffee…oopps gotta go take a piss. You unzip your pants, pull out the big guy, coddle him in your hand while you relieve yourself….and guess what? EVERYTHING you touched that day is now on your dick.
And ladies…say you’re meeting your sig other on your lunch break for some afternoon delight…Now I’m not talking about flings here – if this is a ‘fling’, rubbers should be in the picture…but that’s a whole other story. We”re talking about a ‘significant’ other…someone you trust and know is ‘clean’. Are we clear on that? Okay, so moving on….
…You meet your sig other on your lunch break and you want to give him some head….well guess what? You’re not exactly sucking on something freshly showered and clean like you thought you were. And girls….if you aren’t washing your hands either, and unless you give head and don’t use your hands, (What girl doesn’t use her hands?!) EVERYTHING you touched that day is now on his dick too. He might not mind but your mouth might. Kind of makes you think about it huh? Just want to give all my girls out there a heads up – yes that pun was intended. :)
Guys, Girls: Watch the video. Listen to your mother….WASH YOUR HANDS.
**********
Hi Zen Lill: Sorry, I did not get it. And not sure why Caroline’s comment got in with all of those url’s and yours did not.
Hey Caroline: I didn’t get a chance to respond yesterday. As far as the blond thing…Why is it that blonds seem to think that brunettes hate them? I don’t – Most of my girlfriends are blond, not that their hair or skin color for that matter means anything to me. And why is it that ‘natural‘ blonds always have to publicize that fact that they are ‘natural’ like it is some big thing to be ‘naturally’ blond? I think it’s funny, that’s all. Anyway, it’s apparent you didn’t get my point nor did you feel like addressing my questions. No worries.
Anonz: Happy to hear you are well. Thanks for the heads up the other day. And I will look into your suggestions.
Readers: Have a good one – I’m gonna go out and have some good ‘clean’ fun myself.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:
or click here: “A Day in the life of…”
All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008
" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:18 am
OK, Misch, I’m completely grossed out by the video, see my e-mail, ruined my brekkie for sure : ) I have a tender stomach unfortunately. I will keep the afternoon delight hand washing top of mind – thanks for the tip, pun intended.
I sent the links in the e-mail as well…
Just in keeping with my topic of the week: ‘weekend thought: if love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?’ and a man singing, all raspy and breathy, oh yes…click through and give a listen.
Peace, Zen Lill
November 22nd, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Dr. Joy Browne’s Simple Steps to Solving Any Relationship Problem
Joy Browne, PhD
Over the years, most people who’ve called my radio program have been unhappy, seeking my help to convince someone else to stop making them miserable. The work I do is based on my conviction that we are all capable of change. But we can change only our own behavior, not that of someone else. I believe this as fundamentally as that the sun will rise tomorrow. Ways to break free…
IDENTIFY PATTERNS
When counting or recounting your woes, listen to the words you use. If “always,” “usually/tends to,” “never” or “everyone” recurs, a pattern may be at work. Listen to yourself…
“Aunt Tish never liked me.” “My friend Leslie has always put me down.” “The people next door avoid me.” (Do you hear “usually” in the last one?)
Is everybody else really that stuck? Or could it be you?
Danger: If you notice yourself feeling good about feeling bad and trying to win sympathy, beware — you’re on the wrong track.
Solution: Try to determine why people “always” and “never” do things to or for you. Aunt Tish may be unskilled at demonstrating affection… Leslie may not realize how harsh she sounds… your neighbors may have their own issues unconnected to you — they may be busy or even assume that you are avoiding them.
TURN A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE
When you feel stuck in negative patterns, apply to the situation the positive patterns that have helped you succeed in other areas of your life.
Example: Marvin yells at members of his family, who then get upset. He formerly prided himself on keeping his head in difficult situations at work. Recalling the tools he used to remain cool at the office before his recent retirement — taking deep breaths, waiting 10 minutes to respond when angry, talking about problems, striving to see others’ points of view — he can learn to adapt those patterns to his home life.
OLD WOUNDS, NEW TRICKS
In many cases, callers to my show have made an unconscious decision to dwell on injustices of the past instead of working creatively toward a more rewarding future. As a result, they perpetuate their own unhappiness.
Examples: Shelley’s husband had affairs, but, despite feeling lonely, she hasn’t dated since the divorce… Margo avoids family get-togethers because she believes her daughter-in-law doesn’t like her… George, eyeing a pile of rejection slips, stops writing poetry and misses it.
See my point? Yet the “stuck” quality that was clearly holding them back had to be pointed out to them. The next step — accepting the past and moving toward the present — became obvious.
IT’S CONTAGIOUS
You may find that the past in which you are stuck is someone else’s.
Example: Sal called my radio show and said, “The woman I love is mourning her lover of 15 years who died three years ago. She says she’s not ready for another committed relationship. She’s 77. I’m 84 and running out of time. Should we break up?”
Sal’s love is stuck in her past, a place he doesn’t want to go.
Compromise: You can’t rush someone else’s love (or life) for your own reasons. I suggested that Sal consider his girlfriend more of a friend and less of a mate and begin to see other women.
DOORS OPEN, DOORS CLOSE
Resistance to change can be disruptive, as can change itself. Admittedly, accepting the inevitable isn’t always easy. Shifting family dynamics, for example, can be rough.
One woman’s stepdaughter-to-be upset her family by refusing to face the closing of a door. Grace, age 74, a widow of 16 years, called to say, “I’m engaged to Bill, who’s 81. Our families are happy for us, except Bill’s daughter Jane, who is having a hard time celebrating. After assisting with her dad’s physical problems since her mother died six years ago, she resents me. Shouldn’t Jane rejoice at her father’s new life?”
Many grown children would happily cede caregiving tasks, I told Grace, but Jane may feel that having you on the scene will reduce her significance as the favored child… or see you as a rival, stealing her nurturing role.
Solution: Grace and Bill need to convince Jane that she’ll always be important and loved. I recommended inviting Jane to participate in the wedding in a special way… treating her to a lavish meal… giving her a token of their appreciation. “But don’t wait for her blessing before getting married,” I warned. “Make her feel appreciated, and she’ll probably come around in time.”
If only Jane had called me.
THE LOSE-LOSE GAME
Relationships between siblings can remain stuck in their childhood dynamics. Those connections fare best without constant criticism. A classic example…
Maggie says, “My younger brother, Bob, is about to move in with our 80-year-old mother. His two marriages and a long-term relationship ended because he accused all three women of cheating on him. Mom and I have repeatedly explained that the real problem is his jealousy. He doesn’t listen. She’s worried that they’ll fight after he moves in. What should we do?”
I told Maggie: “If you violently disagreed with Bob about politics, your best approach would be not to discuss it. Do the same about this issue.”
“Give up the notion that you and your mother must convince your brother that you’re right. Your mom can tell Bob, I’m looking forward to your visit. Let’s agree in advance that we’re not going to discuss your marriages because those conversations make us both unhappy.”
ABANDON GENERALITIES
The more specific you can be about what’s irking you, the better equipped you’ll be to find a solution. For a jump start, pose your problem as a question. If you get stuck, call in to my radio show at 800-544-7070.
Reason: The moment you can formulate a specific question or state a need, you’ll have begun to take charge of your present and your future — and refuse to carry the bulky baggage of the past.
Bottom Line/Retirement interviewed Joy Browne, PhD, a clinical psychologist based in New York City. Her internationally syndicated call-in show, on WOR-AM Radio (710 HD) for almost 15 years, is the longest-running show of its kind. She is author of many books, including.
November 22nd, 2008 at 6:16 pm
eeewwwwwww!
Ok, I’m in…