Men Must “Lean In” Too
Posted by Michelle Moquin on April 24th, 2013
Good morning!
Even if you haven’t read the book, I am sure that many of you have at least been hearing about the much talked about book “Lean In” written by the COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg. Although I haven’t read her book, I have read almost every write that has been written about it, and I have seen Sandberg interviewed on a few different shows. Some women like what she has to say, others, not so much. I like some of what she has to say, and other things, not so much.
However you feel about her philosophy of women in the workplace, I am however grateful that the topic is being broached and discussed and that it is getting women to think. Are men thinking about this too? My mother gave me this write - I thought it was a good look at how men can “lean in” too.
Women can move up if men ‘lean in’
A copy of “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg, published by WH Allen, is displayed beside other editions at the U.K. headquarters of Random House in London, U.K., on Friday, April 5, 2013. Bertelsmann SE’s Random House won European Union approval to buy Pearson Plc’s Penguin unit to create the largest book publisher in the U.K. and the U.S. Photographer: Chris Ratcliffe/Bloomberg
Deborah Merrill-Sands
April 19, 2013
Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, aims to start a next-generation feminist movement. In her new book, “Lean In,” Sandberg argues that the feminist revolution has stalled: “A truly equal world would be one where women ran half of our countries and companies and men ran half of our homes. The laws of economics and studies of diversity tell us that if we tapped the entire pool of human resources and talent, our performance would improve.”
I applaud and unequivocally support her call to action to close the leadership gap between men and women at work. I have pursued this goal for 20 years as a change agent, researcher and as dean of two business schools. But Sandberg’s strategy for change confounds me.
While rightly acknowledging the stubborn persistence of subtle barriers to women’s advancement, she continues to place the onus for change on women – exhorting them to “lean in” to their careers, “raise their hands,” “get a seat at the table” and “find a real partner” who will share parenting in the home. But these admonitions to women alone will not reignite a social movement.
For 40 years, women have carried the mantle for change. They have done the work to compete successfully and contribute exceptionally at work. And today the world of work is transformed. Women now make up 50 percent of middle managers, compared with 4 percent in the 1970s.
But when it comes to leadership, the revolution has indeed stalled. Change has been much too slow, and significant representation of women at the top remains elusive. To go the final distance, the “equipping women” strategy Sandberg advocates will not suffice.
We need a new, game-changing strategy. We need men. We need men to “lean in” – to join women as allies, advocates and agents of change. We need male leaders to understand their role in perpetuating subtle gender dynamics and master the strategies to interrupt them. And we need male leaders to take up the business case for how expansion of women in leadership will strengthen their organization’s performance.
Numerous studies, including those by McKinsey & Co., Bain & Co. and Catalyst, have shown a significant positive correlation between the representation of women in leadership in an organization and its financial performance.
In sum, we need men to be real partners at work, not just at home, as Sandberg argues. We need men to “lean in” alongside women not only to ensure that both women and men have opportunities to lead but also to enable their organizations to thrive, innovate and compete by recruiting, developing and retaining all top talent.
In focusing on women as the sole agents of change, Sandberg has missed a unique opportunity. With her career success, intellect and social media savvy, she has the power of voice to induce men to step up as partners in change. So let’s take up Sandberg’s voice and amplify it. To all the women reading her book, I say – take it in and then pass it on to your male manager, mentor or sponsor. To all the men reading Sandberg’s book, I say – “lean in” for yourselves, for your wives and daughters, and for the success of your organizations. That is the game-changer we seek.
Deborah Merrill-Sands is the dean of the Lorry I. Lokey Graduate School of Business at Mills College in Oakland.
******
Readers: I like that Merrill-Sands suggests that men need to “lean in” alongside of women. I concur wholeheartedly. I also want to point out that we need more women supporting women – they need to “lean in” too for their sisters. Men will go to the ends of the Earth to support men and keep them in power, even if those men they support are no good LSOSs. We need women to have the same commitment for the success of their sisters. Become, advocates, allies and agents of change for women. Look to women first before giving automatic deference to men.
What do you think? Blog me.
OT: Yep, sounds pretty typical to me. If American men had the chance to take their power to that level, believe me, some would without hesitation. It seems you knew him personally since you mentioned “We talked a lot..” I would be curious to hear your response to his comments about his wife refusing to obey him. This is where men need to “lean in” and support the rise of women. I HOPE you did.
GN, Mickey, EM: I am always so blown away when I receive comments from readers who were actually at the scene of something that the blog is discussing, especially when it is a few of you. Thanks for giving me and my readers a close-up chronicle from your vantage point.
Dan: I saw the photo before the domain was blocked. I was surprised that it was available on the web, considering it was pretty gruesome. Evidently, too graphic to keep it up.
Henry: :) Thank you.
Ego: Love her sweet music. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Alycedale: I am grateful that you are a regular reader.
Really..I am so grateful for all of the readers who tune in here. Thank you all for being with me.
Peace & Love…
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)
Or if you would like to send a check via snail mail, please make checks payable to “Michelle Moquin”, and send to:
Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129
Thank you for your loyal support!
All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012
“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream
" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"
April 24th, 2013 at 11:32 am
Hi Mischa, I think men will only ‘lean in’ and be ‘sold’ on assisting and aiding when they see a benefit to it, too many women don’t lean in and hold men accountable for their actions, so therefore it has not hit a tipping point…yet. Just my opinion. Luv, ZL
April 24th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
I made the opening suggestions that women are human beings too equal to man in the eyes of Allah. He went off. It was obvious that he would not accept anything that deprived him of power over women.
I see it so clearly from most of my fellow islamic friends and relatives. It is all about the power Islam gives them over women. For that, they will die anytime.
April 24th, 2013 at 2:10 pm
Zen Lill I don’t believe that a woman can force a man to “lean in.” If he is not like 90% of men, he will do it on his own. If he is one of the 90% as you said there has to be a benefit in it for him.
April 24th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
My husband and his brother took turns beating me and pimping me out when they weren’t forcing me to do the most disgusting sexual things for them.
My husband was a marine and his brother was in the army. They each in turn came back from Iraq and Afghanistan respectively with both legs amputated. My husband lost an arm also.
The damage left his brother impotent. I have physical and financial conservatorship over them both. Oh it is so much fun.
There father worked tirelessly to get me in that position. While they were away I confessed to them about what they had done. He confessed that they had forced themselves on their baby sister for years. And that she had only confessed after they were away in the military.
Their mother got so angry with him for telling me and for insisting on prosecuting them. But since they came home all fucked up their father decided not to.
Their mother is a real screwed up bitch. She blames the daughter who is six years younger than the boys for “seducing” her sons.
The father is 56, but still very robust. We have been having an affair for about 4 years. I fuck him in front of my husband. He cries like a baby and attempts to cuss, but I fixed it so he can talk. The doctors think he attempted suicide and permanently damaged his vocal cords.
Karma is a bitch! And I mean that in the very best way.
Now it my turn to pee and shit on them. I love life so much now that I often wake with song.
There mother practically lives here waiting on them hand and foot so all I have to do is shop and fuck the dad.
They really don’t need the money from Uncle Sam, the father made a killing with his investments and oil drilling accessories company.
When all is quiet, I invite their sister over and we take turns shoving little hot pokers up their asses. I can’t tell you the pleasure it gives me.
Oh and the driveling whining from by brother-in law is pathetic. He was the big man that used to hold his foot on my neck and force me to suck his dog’s dick.
Now, I make him watch me shit and then I take little pieces of it and shove it down his throat. Too much pleasure. His sister like to pee in is soup while he watches and then spoon feed it to him.
Yee, yes, Karma is a Big Beautiful Bitch!.
April 24th, 2013 at 3:16 pm
Michelle, I don’t offen recommend that someone don’t read something, but if you do bother a quick scan of this trash will tell you all you need to know about this silly white woman.
She blames women for not being confident enough in themselves. I see it as men being too confident in their abilities. That’s why the world is so fucked up. They don’t do the work or research required in preparation for some of the idiotic shit they enact or propose as solutions to the world’s problems.
The book is mainly about making women more like men. She assumes that would be a good thing because she thinks men are the example of the ideal we as humans should aspire to. That means she is probably like those psychologically warped little girls who are forced to accept Catholicism, mormonism(I can’t capitalize this shit, it ain’t a real religion), or Islam as a guide for their core values.
She like them has accepted that man is the be all to emulate. If I met her I would ask her why she feels that women should be copying men, and when did she arrive at it that that was a good thing to do?
Women for the most part see life before they see a career. Hence they value things like individuals over the corporate need for profit, or the environment over the fast buck.
Mrs. Sandberg advocates that women should mimic men and value their careers over life. Most women don’t want to miss their children’s youth, their partner’s companionship or the forming of relationships not connected to career advancement.
I think that just as her mistake in judging that women were less confident rather than men being overly confident, rather than accusing women of NOT “Leaning In” enough, she should be advising men NOT to “Lean In” too much.
April 24th, 2013 at 3:20 pm
Like most people Sheryl is framing the argument around her own experience which is in corporate America. I think may of the criticisms pick up on this and they are valid in some sesnses.
However, I think that although this is a failing in some senses, I think it makes it more powerful as people respond to other peoples experiences rather than dry statistical analysis.
As such I think the narrowness of her personal framework does not invalidate the essence of what she is getting to. That essence is what is it in our inner mind workings that determines our self perception and the actions that come from that.
This is so important – so long as you understand this part of your self perception and continue analysing it, then you stand a chance of determining your path. As women we have been socially programmed to act in a certain way, as men have too.
We can choose to rise above that programming by self analysis and self determination. Often you become what you choose to DO. This is classic existensialism.
This lesson applies to men as well as women. We have to try to actively choose rather than passively follow a predetermined path set for us. I think there is effort involved in understanding and overcoming our programming.
April 24th, 2013 at 3:21 pm
my issue with Lean In is that it’s a rather combination of Sheryl Sandberg’s experience mixed in with a how-to guide for following that same path — rather than helping the reader forge their own.
Yes, the book helps overcome built in programming, but it’s not by equipping the reader with the tools to work it out for themselves; instead, it’s by replacing it with a different type of programming. I think my point is that I have serious questions as to following it will lead you to finding fulfilment.
April 24th, 2013 at 3:23 pm
I haven’t read Sheryl’s book, but as a woman in her 20′s I am wrestling with the idea of feminism in the context of my generation.
What I find most difficult to comprehend is the recommendation to “fake it until you make it”, which sounds to me like “women need to fake it in the work place until they finally get paid the same salary as a man” . It sounds like a civil rights movement.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just apply a context for women in the workplace instead of trying to copy men? Also, it would be interesting to see how organizations run mostly by women compare to organizations run mostly by men.
I still do not think women of today have the proper context for themselves, although history would make it seem as if we have come a long way. Other questions to be asked might be: What problems does feminism face today? What problems can be solved through a women’s movement?
I would also agree with some of the comments that both genders in my generation are working collaboratively, and I’m beginning to think this whole feminist movement will die off if it doesn’t get an appropriate context soon.
April 24th, 2013 at 3:33 pm
Alycedale, as usual you take a direct approach to an issue. I agree with your assessment. As a working woman who runs her own business with more than 400 employees, I see the meaning of her “Lean In” advice.
I don’t think woman are nicer by nature, but more by socialization. I was not raised to be gentle and nice, and I am not. I have always been presented with work entanglements in which men were the majority, and it felt like they were the enemy the whole time, with their dirty jokes(on other woman, not me).
Their never ending sports silly small talk. And their teaching attitude towards women, let me show you dear, how this is done, in a very couple like play.
The biggest excuse for other women to accept this advice is the statement that her advice comes from recognizing the world as it is not a as it should be. I say every big change came from someone who said enough or it can be better. So I agree with you Alycedale. If women want it to change, they will have to change it because men are happy the way it is.
April 24th, 2013 at 3:34 pm
I admire Sheryl Sandberg and her success. However, I feel that she may mislead women into thinking they can have it all. For example, she tells women to not make sacrifices for children they don’t even have yet.
April 24th, 2013 at 3:35 pm
Why is it always assumed that men that go out with the boys from time to time don’t pull their weight at home, and likewise grant their wives a night out with the girls just as often?
The assumptions made about men, combined with the standards feminist misinformation (wage gap 75c this time, 77c at other times, sometimes80c) and the refusal to acknowledge feminists own role in much of this (claiming women’s work is devalued, when it is feminists who did, and continue to do so. Why does ones contributions need to have a taxable paycheck in order to be of value to the family?) is disheartening
April 24th, 2013 at 8:42 pm
Alycedale I totally agree with your statements. Specifically
“She like them has accepted that man is the be all to emulate. If I met her I would ask her why she feels that women should be copying men, and when did she arrive at it that that was a good thing to do?”
Men are really not to be emulated. It’s all domination to them. If women continue to go along with the male agenda humanity is pretty much doomed IMHO.
/SB
April 25th, 2013 at 2:20 am
Let me Ditto those sentiment Social Butterfly and Alycedale. The political and environmental condition of the world today says it all. Men have literally fucked up the planet.
Take the recent Boston bombing for example. It is a man caused and man made thing.
Tamelan was content to live off the welfare of this country but the minute he had trouble with his female companion he looked to religion to give him power over her he could not have otherwise.
He hated a government that would not recognize the power islam gave him over the female.
Our republican (male) controlled government makes it easy for anyone to get a gun or for the government not to have the power to tag gun powder or do background checks yet rail about a “missed” opportunity by the FBI to stop those two narcissistic males.
Only males go around believing that their personal grievances entitles them to hurt any innocent bystander because their imagined needs are not met.
Men justify putting a bomb in front of an innocent child because…. fill in the blank.
Men justify putting an automatic weapon with high capacity magazines in front of innocent children because….fill in the blanks.
It will take women replacing men in those leadership positions to reverse those idiotic situations. And as you both said NOT women emulating those idiotic positions, but women who are who they are.