Sex Education: Conservative vs Comprehensive
Posted by Michelle Moquin on May 11th, 2013
Good morning!
And this is what conservative thinking and teaching will do for our children.
Elizabeth Smart: Abstinence Education Teaches Rape Victims They’re Worthless, Dirty, And Filthy
Elizabeth Smart became a household name after she was kidnapped from her home in Salt Lake City, UT at the age of 14 and held in captivity for nine months. She was forced into a polygamous marriage, tethered to a metal cable, and raped daily until she was rescued from her captors nine months later. Smart was recovered while she and her kidnappers were walking down a suburban street, leading many Americans who followed her story on the national news to wonder: Why didn’t she just run away as soon as she was brought outside?
Speaking to an audience at Johns Hopkins about issues of human trafficking and sexual violence, Smart recently offered an answer to that question. She explained that some human trafficking victims don’t run away because they feel worthless after being raped, particularly if they have been raised in conservative cultures that push abstinence-only education and emphasize sexual purity:
Smart said she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”
Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.
“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value,” Smart said. “Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value.”
Now in her mid-twenties, Smart runs a foundation to help educate children about sexual crimes. She now believes that children should grow up learning that “you will always have value and nothing can change that.”
Social psychologists and sexual abuse counselors agree that comprehensive sex education can help prevent sexual crimes. Teaching children about their bodies gives them the tools to describe acts of abuse without feeling as embarrassed or uncomfortable, and it also helps elevate their self-confidence and sense of bodily autonomy. A shame-based approach to genitalia and sexuality, on the other hand, sends kids the message that they can’t discuss or ask questions about any of those issues.
Nonethless, abstinence-only education programs have a long history of imparting harmful messages that shame youth about their sexuality instead of teaching them the facts they need to safeguard their health. A high school in West Virginia recently made national headlines after hosting a conservative religious speaker who allegedly told students “if you take birth control, your mother probably hates you” and “I could look at any one of you in the eyes right now and tell if you’re going to be promiscuous.” In Smart’s home state of Utah — which is home to a large religiously conservative Mormon community — sex education is currently mandated, but lawmakers have repeatedly pushed to weaken the state law and reinstate an abstinence-only curriculum.
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Readers: Can you imagine someone thinking that they are a used piece of chewing gum, worth nothing, because of having sex? How much lower can you go if you are raped? Can you imagine someone telling you your mother hates you because you’re taking birth control? Yes, I can because it is happening. And now we are seeing what happens when ridiculous sick speak is spoken and spread throughout conservative religious households.
Yes, there is no doubt parents need to educate their children about sex. The question is just what are they telling their kids about sex? And how are they educating them? Evidently, how Elizabeth Smart was educated is clearly not the way.
When will conservative religious parents get this? I don’t expect much from the fathers because men just have a need to control women and their bodies and can’t seem to get passed that, enough to care about the reality of rape for women and girls. The more important question to ask is when will the mothers say ‘enough of this BS’, stop following lockstep behind their husbands, have a voice, and protect and teach their daughters? That is the crux.
Thoughts? Anything to say? Blog me.
Happy Saturday – thanks so much for being here with me! Peace & Love…
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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May 11th, 2013 at 10:49 am
Hypnosis Helps Allergies, Diabetes, High Blood Pressure and More
The benefits go far beyond weight loss and smoking cessation…
Hypnosis is best known for helping with weight loss and tobacco addiction. But research now shows that it also can be used for such conditions as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), high blood pressure and diabetes to help relieve symptoms and reduce one’s need for medication.
WHAT IS HYPNOSIS?
The main idea behind hypnosis is that the mind and body work together and cannot be separated. Unconscious negative thought patterns and unresolved emotions can cause physical and mental illness…and the subconscious mind can be used to help resolve these issues.
During hypnosis, the doorway to the subconscious mind is opened. In this state, suggestibility heightens, mental absorption increases, senses become more acute and the imagination communicates with the subconscious to create change.
Hypnosis is not meant to replace standard medical treatment, but it can enhance the effectiveness of traditional treatment methods, including medication and surgery, for many conditions. In addition, it’s simple, safe, effective and has no side effects.
LATEST DEVELOPMENTS
Recent research confirms that hypnotherapy can help treat a wide variety of medical problems. For example, it significantly reduced pain in IBS patients—ultimately allowing these patients to take far less medications and have fewer doctor visits.
Similar research has demonstrated the effectiveness of hypnosis in reducing blood pressure in individuals with hypertension and blood sugar levels in people with diabetes. A study currently is being conducted on hypnosis and hot flashes in postmenopausal women.
HOW HYPNOSIS WORKS
Unlike modern treatments, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which require patients to consciously shift negative thought patterns, hypnosis bypasses the thinking mind and relies on the subconscious to relay messages.
The therapist induces a trance by having the patient focus on a single object such as a flickering candle…a sound such as a ticking clock…or a physical sensation such as breathing.
The therapist then leads the patient into a peaceful, twilight state through relaxation and breathing exercises. This state awakens the imagination and produces heightened suggestibility.
The therapist then can implant carefully selected suggestions in the patient’s subconscious mind, which accepts these suggestions as already fact, and the new behavior becomes automatic.
Example: For a patient who suffers from panic attacks, a hypnotherapist would induce a trance state and suggest specific posthypnotic cues (actions, thoughts, words or images that will trigger a desired response after hypnosis).
The patient can use these posthypnotic cues in his/her everyday, waking life to achieve a calm state on his own.
During the trance state, the hypnotherapist might say: “Whenever you feel anxious, you’ll notice and feel the ring on your finger and take a slow, deep breath. This will make you feel grounded, safe and secure.”
In general, people who can visualize, daydream or imagine can be hypnotized. The number of sessions needed depends on the person and his specific situation.
Some people solve a problem after one session. For others, it takes longer. Patients typically have five sessions that last about 50 minutes to one hour each.
Each session with a licensed health professional trained in hypnotherapy related to the patient’s specific problem costs about $150 to $300. Even though there is significant research-backed evidence supporting the use of hypnosis and hypnotherapy, they often are considered “alternative” or “complementary” therapies and are rarely covered by medical or mental health insurance.
However, some hospital-based pain-management centers do provide insurance-covered hypnosis.
Caution:
Anyone can call himself a “certified hypnotherapist” or “clinical hypnotist.” Most states don’t regulate the practice of hypnosis. Choose a licensed health professional—a psychologist, psychiatrist, medical doctor or clinical social worker—whom you trust and feel safe and comfortable with.
To find a qualified clinical hypnotherapist, contact the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH) at 630-980-4740 or http://www.asch.net.
DO IT YOURSELF
After you have successfully entered a hypnotic state in a clinician’s office, a qualified hypnotherapist can teach you self-hypnosis. Used regularly, self-hypnosis gives you the ability to relax at will, builds your capacity to control your mind and body and furthers the process of positive change.
How self-hypnosis works: First, choose one or two suggestions to repeat to yourself four or five times during self-hypnosis. Examples: For high blood pressure, you might repeat, I stay relaxed as I complete my daily responsibilities…for pain you might say, I can manage discomfort.
The next step is to put yourself into a trance, which allows you to enter a state of heightened suggestibility. This can be done by focusing your complete attention on something (as described earlier). Then your focus can move to your breathing. Feel your belly expand on inhalation and contract on exhalation.
To relax more deeply, imagine slowly walking down a set of 20 stairs. Feel the soft carpet under your feet, the smooth, polished wood of the handrail. With each step, your relaxation deepens.
At the bottom of the stairs, you find a door. You open it and enter a place where you feel happy, content, safe and comfortable. Maybe it’s a balmy beach, cool meadow or favorite room. Notice the specific details of this “favorite place.”
Once you master this deep relaxation, use positive suggestions and positive imagery to help change undesirable attitudes and behaviors and limiting beliefs. When you’re ready to emerge from this hypnotic state, walk back up the stairs and into the present moment.
Source: Bruce N. Eimer, PhD, a clinical psychologist and hypnotherapist in private practice in Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania.
He is a fellow and approved consultant of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis. Dr. Eimer is also the author of Hypnotize Yourself Out of Pain Now! and coauthor, with C. Roy Hunter, of The Art of Hypnotic Regression Therapy (both from Crown House). http://www.BruceEimer.com
May 11th, 2013 at 11:07 am
Lighten up Beth. Just because there is evil in the world doesn’t mean we have to remove all the fun.
Michelle is as gorgeous as the song says: She’s a pretty young thing.
Men and women can still admire each other in the old romantic abstract way.
May 11th, 2013 at 11:59 pm
This is some famous blog. Here in Brazil we were discussing the goods and bads of our country. Someone mentioned that on Michelle’s blog Zen Lill made the observation that whites had civilized parts of Africa.
She then went on to say that she believes they did the same in Brazil. Then the arguments started in robust fashion with many taking sides and quoting their favorites on your blog Michelle. I felt like an outsider because I had never heard of your blog.
Okay so now I have.
Let me say this to you Zen Lill about the so called “civilizing” of other cultures by whites. First, most of us have been civilized way before whites knew shit. Second have any of you whites asked the price those cultures had to pay for the so called civilizing of their culture?
Here is an example of that in my country:The number of indigenous people within Brazil fell from 6 million in the 1500s to 100,000 in the 1950s.
The roughly 2000 nations of mostly semi-nomadic native tribes of pre-Columbian era Brazil steadily disappeared after the arrival of European settlers. Millions died from disease, war, and slavery over the centuries.
“Civilizing” is your race’s code word for Genocide. Your race murders other races by the millions. Someone at the party was shouting his favorite on the blog who said that where ever on the planet the white man has gone he has committed genocide on a scale of at least 5,000,000 human beings. It looks like Brazil fits that mode.
If I were you, I wouldn’t be too quick to tell any non whites about the benefits of the white man civilizing the cultures of other races.
Malo
May 12th, 2013 at 1:00 am
Women dream about sex as often as men do.
Regardless of whether men spend more of their waking hours thinking about sex, a 2007 study found that they are no more likely to dream about sex than women. However, the type of sex dreams that participants had varied by gender.
Women are more likely to dream about sex with celebrities, exes, and current partners. Men are more likely to dream about having multiple partners, and 90% of men’s sex dreams involve women initiating sex.
A later study came to a much different conclusion. A dream study in 2009 found that men’s dreams feature more reference to sexual activity and more sexual intercourse, while women’s dreams feature more kissing and sexual fantasies about other dream characters. In addition to having fewer sexually explicit dreams, the women in this study were also stuck with having more nightmares!
May 12th, 2013 at 1:12 am
Your problem is because you are in the 9th year of Uranus’s 21 year winter. You are off because you are not using earth’s numerical frame of reference for calculating when you communicate with those who can assist you.
It takes 84 earth years for Uranus to orbit its Sun. Work with that when you delite.
May 12th, 2013 at 8:52 am
11k7L43, thank you for your advice. But you should know that we are from Lilohaunchia. If your navigational charts are unfamiliar with its location, let me inform you it is located in the center of this galaxy. We are located in the place the Sun of this solar system orbits.
We are very familiar with earth comparison derivatives. We actually use its measurements to take advantage of the energy the speed with which Earth’s Sun orbits our center location (486,000 miles per hour) to slingshot use to this location.
Your previous marveling at your accomplishing the same action based on the Earth’s orbiting speed orbiting its Sun(67,000 miles per hour) hardly compares. And for similar reasons you suggested we miscounted concerning Uranus’s long solar winter, obviously we who hold the single ability to navigate at speeds which dwarf your knovella capability speeds because we are the lecturers on mining alluf energies.
Suggestion:
Arrive early for the next lecture and we will impart some of the earth homologous math required to understand navigation at such speeds which enable us to be one of the few to achieve near light speeds with successful vector plotting.
May 12th, 2013 at 10:45 am
Michelle, my sister a Spec 5, was raped by a military superior officer. She reported it but was discouraged by her commander less she “ruin the career of a soldier with great potential to serve his country.”
I never served in the military, but I did a 23 year stint as a federal cop and private investigator. I made sure he did not escape this family’s justice. My advice, to any who have the capability, is to take it upon yourself to get that justice.
Don’t do it if you think you can’t do it without getting caught. My sister doesn’t know I did it. She just knows that she doesn’t have to see that creep or that commander again. They are dead and physically impossibly able to serve, respectively.
Rory
May 12th, 2013 at 10:50 am
Michelle, I think that picture of you is simply a gorgeous representation of a beautiful creation of God. I so wish this professional photographer had taken it.
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