Is It Time To Say “Hasta la vista, baby?”
Posted by Michelle Moquin on June 24th, 2013
Good morning!
Sometimes it’s hard to know when to say goodbye. Here are 6 serious signs that will give you a clue it’s time to say “Hasta la vista, baby!”
Relationship Advice: 6 Serious Signs It’s Time to End It
We’ve all been there. You meet someone new and they seem amazing. But after a few months or even years of dating, they change. For some people, these changes are minor. For example, you find out they don’t really like romantic comedies, or they’re not the biggest fan of your sister. But for some people, these changes are major. They become impossible to ignore. You start to think that maybe they were like that all along, and you just didn’t see the red flags. Or maybe you’re convinced you’ve been doing something wrong, and this is your punishment. The thing is, when you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it’s hard to picture the person you’re with hurting you.
While every relationship can hit a rough patch, some situations are just too critical to ignore. Here are six serious instances in which you should end your relationship.
1. You’re being cheated on, repeatedly.
I understand that if someone cheats on you one time, it’s possible to get through it. In some cases, couples even come out stronger after facing infidelity. Having said that, if you have selflessly forgiven your significant other for their indiscretion and it happens again, it’s time to get out!
2. You’re being verbally or emotionally abused.
This can be kind of a grey area, because it’s not always easy to identify when it’s happening. Keep in mind, just because you’re not bruised and bleeding, doesn’t mean you aren’t being abused. For instance, verbal abuse involves (but is not limited to) being called stupid, worthless or a loser. Name-calling, racial slurs or being called the C-word are also forms of verbal abuse. Having once been in an abusive relationship myself, I can understand it’s not always easy to recognize. It becomes a vicious loop of hearing something degrading, and then asking yourself what you did to cause this behavior. In some cases I was even told, “If you weren’t being such a stupid b*tch, I wouldn’t have to call you one.”
If this is happening to you, get out.
3. They don’t care if they make you cry.
If someone can honestly sit there after hurting you and not care at all if you’re crying, this may be very indicative of how much they care about you (or don’t).
4. You have to change who you are to be with them.
We all compromise — seeing a band we don’t like here, going to a restaurant we could do without there — but make sure you aren’t changing to the point where you don’t recognize the person you’re becoming. The person you’re with should like you for who you are, not who they are molding you to become.
5. Your affection is being misconstrued for neediness.
Everyone gets emotional every now and then. Even the best of us have our days when stress gets to be a bit too much. But your emotions shouldn’t be seen as weakness. It’s impossible to keep it cool every second of every day, and in all honestly, you shouldn’t have to. Don’t get caught in a power struggle of “who can act like they don’t care the longest.” Love is not about finding someone with whom you can have to upper hand; it’s about being honest about your needs with someone and knowing they will be there for you.
6. You’re afraid of them.
Whether you’re being hit, spat on, pushed or even screamed at, being with someone who scares you is not something you have to endure. Most importantly, don’t ever blame yourself for some else’s abusive behavior.
*B’*B’*Y*E*
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June 25th, 2013 at 10:56 am
Great topic Michelle, I couldn’t get in to comment. I actually had five of those for my husband of 17 years. He was a good liar so I lied to myself about him.
One day I woke up and looked at him lying next to me and said “it’s over.” I got up went to see a lawyer and it was over and I have never been happier.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:00 am
My only question in the article is that it says as long as kids aren’t involved….what if there are? Do these rules not apply then? If you are miserable and fighting…that rubs off on little ones.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:00 am
Some relationships just don’t work. And if you have done everything within your power to fix it and still can’t, why stay? No one should be an unhealthy relationship and it is stupid to stay in one.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:01 am
Try other options to repair the relationship. Then if things are still not working, you aren’t happy or getting what you need, THEN move on.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:02 am
If you want to change your partner, evaluate why you crave to control the other person. Continually running from your own dissatisfaction will never eventually lead you to prince/princess charming.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:04 am
People stay in unhappy relationships because of many different reasons. why r we so scared 2 take the step and move on? fear of being alone
June 25th, 2013 at 11:05 am
There are paths in life, right and wrong, ones that will make you happy, ones that will make you sad, being happy is important, but expecting to be happy and have fun every single time you are around your lover is the road to being alone. The best bet is to appreciate your lover, and if they cant appreciate you, than you should think about your life with out them and come to a conclusion. There are ups and downs in life, you cant have all good, but you should at least have a little good to know what its like.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:31 am
When your best has finally thrown over and nothing has changed…… leaving is a wise decision for you to save that small dignity that was left.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:32 am
It’s just dam hard to be alone!
June 25th, 2013 at 11:32 am
Thiis article is so very true.
June 25th, 2013 at 11:33 am
Love plays a factor of course, but every day is an investment into some thing that may or will come in the future. If we live today with no concern of tomorrow, nothing will be waiting for us. Its like the term the bible uses, you reap what you sow.
If you don’t put in your grain, how can you expect to see a harvest? Life is an investment, investing in the wrong stock often makes you lose your money….but some times, the stock that looks wrong turns out to make you rich.
I’m in no way or form going to be a millionare, but punching a time card for money is much the same as investing time in a relationship, you have to do things you don’t like to get things that make life worth the journey.
Good article, I think It is missing a bit on Religion and what I like to call the Love factor however. Very well written.