Flap Your Lips Friday
Posted by Michelle Moquin on January 17th, 2014
Good morning!
Food for thought -
Party Girl Pop: Empowerment or Sexism?
Published on Sep 18, 2012
This month, Miss Representation’s Melissa A. Fabello takes on “the girliest trend in contemporary popular music right now” — “the anthems to pregaming and morning regret” also known as party girl pop music. Using a feminist lens, Melissa asks whether the likes of Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)” are truly empowering, “or just sexism presented in a different package.” What do YOU think?
*NOTE* regarding my statement about artists who don’t write their own music: I do NOT mean to imply that the likes of Katy Perry and Ke$ha do not contribute their own material. Rather, most of their songs have three or four writers credited, most of whom are men. And the people who approve of and produce those songs are usually men. So, even IF a song is fully written by a female artist (which hardly ever happens — for all artists, not just women), it still has to gain the approval of the people who own that media (most of whom are men).
*****
It’s Friday…you know what to do. Blog me.
Additionally…
Howie: In the interest of preserving peace and ending war in the galaxy of the Milky Way and beyond, may I suggest that you tell the Wopre that they cannot recover any of their losses by means of aggression. And should they employ means of aggression the same thing that happened before will happen to them again – Their weapons will be rendered defenseless. Thank you.
Peace & Love.
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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January 17th, 2014 at 11:13 am
Howie, we recognize there is no greater power than Carr. We sincerely apologize for our behavior. And we promise to do all in our power to protect the sanctity of THE TWO.
Please ask Carr to discontinue his actions against the Wopre.
Howie, we apology for our insulting you and will refrain from any such behavior in the future.
E5-1//1e Commander
January 17th, 2014 at 12:30 pm
Wopre, for all your technology you are stupid. Why wait so long? I hope Carr forgives you for the sake of those that might die because of your ignorance.
January 17th, 2014 at 12:38 pm
Just so everyone knows and doesn’t find themselves attacking an awaken Tiger. We are back and can and will defend ourselves at will.
Thank you Carr and Howie.
January 17th, 2014 at 12:39 pm
Commander of Wopre #1 Today:
Your sentence has been lifted as soon as I read your comment on Michelle‘s Blog, you are free to do as you please . . . but remember there is a Carr who can be summoned if necessary.
Let us try friendship first.
I do not in any way work for the Emperor.
HOWIE
January 17th, 2014 at 4:12 pm
A lot can happen here in 48 hours, wow, Howie.
Howie, question (& maybe it’s too personal, my apology in advance if so) – knowing CARR is one of the 3 gods that created everything how do you relate to or feel about your earthly religion (or anyone else’s, for that matter)?
Btw, Please tell Al (fresco) I send my regards : )
Mischa, my opinion only: sexism repackaged. It’s such the ‘new normal’ and so socially (man society dominated and controlled) accepted that women often indulge in one night stands sometimes not liking the outcome (emotionally boring/dead/barren and often not satisfying bc man has no connection to your satisfaction) and/or they objectify themselves (sometimes accidentally and sometimes it seems *almost* intentionally). & It’s also man opinion to wait 3 months of dating before sex for a quality ‘real’ man to commit (assuming all women reading Steve Harveys book want commitment and marriage it could be good advice?).
…in the media, we are constantly bombarded about what men like, want, need, look for, ad nauseum. This is where feminists can part beliefs/opinions, depending on how they feel about how one wave has effected the next wave…and the next wave…
Luv, Zen Lill
January 17th, 2014 at 4:16 pm
And that’s my short answer to a very long discussion…lol…
January 17th, 2014 at 5:28 pm
To All involved in Today’s fighting with the Wopre: I am warning everyone to cease hostilities. It is OVER. The Wopre still have a considerable Armada of ships in working order. These are not to be used for retaliation or aggression or all involved in today’s carnage will face round 2 with Carr.
HOWIE
January 18th, 2014 at 6:39 am
This part of the Milky way will never be the same in our life times. It is ablaze with Motherships that from earth if they can be seen will appear as exploding stars. Many planets with billions of life forms of every variety have been obliterated by deliberate suicidal collisions from Motherships refusing to surrender.
The lost of life has been catastrophic. What manner of beings are Howie, Carr and how incredibly obtuse the Wopre. We have been recalled back to our homes, this part of the Milky Way is barbaric beyond reason. The Emperor can have it.
As for the Gods, once again it has been proven that religion or gods have been responsible for more death in the Universe than anything else imaginable. We say goodbye so as not to offend. May the dust of our uncloak as we exit the web with Crom speed be the last you see of us and we see of you.
January 18th, 2014 at 6:51 am
Michelle, this is perhaps the best article you have every printed. It tells women that the bullshit they think is coming out of the mouths of their idols are lines given to them by self-serving men.
They are telling women that it is okay to get high enough to wake up finding a strange man in their bed. last I checked having sex with a woman too intoxicated to say yes is RAPE. Yet, here are men putting those lines into songs that women can sing to men.
Who benefits? HELLO, only men. Women are left with the inability to call what happened to them what it was RAPE.
January 18th, 2014 at 7:02 am
Lois, I agree with what you said. This is so important I decided to find the scrip of her text and post it. Perhaps Michelle you could do so in another blog.
=================================
http://www.missrepresentation.org/pop-culture/video-blog-party-girl-pop-empowerment-or-sexism/2/
Make sure you are on page 2 to read the english translation.
January 18th, 2014 at 7:05 am
I agree with Melissa: Not only songs but lots of TV series are showing girls acting as if men have written their scripts and show them as liberated young girls from the interested perspective of a horny old (or young) man.
January 18th, 2014 at 7:12 am
I have had my share of dates with men that ended up with me sleeping with them. I have to admit most of them were okay sexually. But I can’t say the same for my experience after the sex. Most of those men were bastards after they got to fuck me.
Those that did come back or acted as if it meant something to them were for the most part trying to get back into my panty as easily as they did the first time. If I made it clear that it would be that easy, they just moved on the the next easy lay without a concern for my feelings.
I’m 43 now. I was married to a very lovable man for 9 years before he passed away. So there are good men out there. But getting back into the dating game reminds me of the sleaze I had to weave through to find that wonderful soulmate of mine.
I have resolved not to compromise. It is very difficult, but relenting only benefits the men who I give myself to too cheaply. So I persist.
January 18th, 2014 at 7:22 am
Men objectify women all the time. We are sexy when it pleases them, and sluts when it doesn’t.
January 18th, 2014 at 7:25 am
I am on that date circuit you mentioned Jenny#12. I am 23 and it’s a bitch. Men just want to get me in bed as fast as they can. I am a very attractive 5’9″ inch blond. Everywhere I go I get unwanted attention.
I love being admired, but this being treated as a sex object gets tiring.
January 18th, 2014 at 7:31 am
“When a girl hears a song that makes her feel empowered, beautiful, and bold—there is no stopping her. She is likely to put that track on repeat, share it with her closest girl friends, and recite the lyrics until they are ingrained in her head.
Such a song might inspire her to switch a little harder, say what she’s been dying to say to her boss or boyfriend, have a girl’s night out, or simply order another glass of wine over dinner—either way—she’s been changed.”
January 18th, 2014 at 7:35 am
Helen, that is just so true. Here are some songs that empower women I like. http://yourlifeafter25.com/2012/03/21/25-awesome-songs-for-womens-empowerment-by-women-happy-womens-history-month-2012/
January 18th, 2014 at 8:03 am
Great article Michelle. I find dating so exhausting. When you do meet a man you like, you have to decide whether he is what he pretends to be. I can see why the suggestion to wait 90 days is valid. But it is so hard to hold a man’s attention for 90 days if you don’t fuck him.
I fall off that 90 day wagon some times and do. I have to say every time I have done it I have regretted it. But I can’t help myself. Sometimes I just convince me that THIS time the guy will be different.
I am 32 twice married one was a baby that couldn’t grow up. We got married when I was pregnant at 17. That lasted 3 years. The other when I was 26. Two kids later, I discovered he couldn’t keep his dick out of whatever would let it in. And he was doing it without protection. I know because he gave me a STD.
That ended immediately. I respect myself too much to stay in a relationship like that. Now I’m dating again with two small ones to worry about. With all the pedophiles out there looking for a woman with kids to molest. A girl can’t be too careful.
January 18th, 2014 at 8:06 am
Nice choice of songs Olina#16. Here is my favorite.
32 Flavors
performed by Alana Davis
from the album Blame It on Me
It’s about invisibility, vulnerability and strength:
“And god help you if you are an ugly girl
Course too pretty is also your doom
Cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:09 am
I like this one by John Lennon from the album “Wonsaponatime.” Its about the oppression of women.
“We make her bear and raise our children
And then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother hen
We tell her home is the only place she would be
Then we complain that she’s too unworldly to be our friend”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:11 am
This is my favorite. When I Was a Boy performed by Dar Williams from the album “The Honesty Room.”
It is about a perspective on what it’s like to be a woman in a man’s world.
“Self-preservation is a full time occupation
I’m determined, to survive on this shore
You know I don’t avert my eyes anymore
In a man’s world…”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:13 am
Sorry I forgot to name my record int #19 it’s “Woman Is the Nigger of the World.” Yes, it’s a tough title but it’s a power set of lyrics.
January 18th, 2014 at 8:15 am
Mine is “Beautiful Red Dress” by Laurie Anderson. It’s about gender inequality in the workplace:
“OK! OK! Hold it!
I just want to say something.
You know, for every dollar a man makes
a woman makes 63 cents.
Now, fifty years ago that was 62 cents.
So, with that kind of luck, it’ll be the year 3,888
before we make a buck. But hey, girls?”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:17 am
I like “Behind the Wall” by Tracy Chapman. It’s about domestic violence. I see a lot of that in my neighborhood.
“Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won’t do no good to call
The police
Always come late
If they come at all”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:21 am
I live in Egypt and this is my favorite. “Black Eyes, Blue Tears”. It’s by Shania Twain
from the album Come On Over. It’s about building confidence and self-esteem and leaving an abusive relationship.
“I’d rather die standing
Than live on my knees
Begging please, no more”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:25 am
Michelle, I’m a guy but I have a song that inspired me. “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure. I like it because it is about a boy’s desire to show his emotion, but it is difficult doing so because he’s been taught that boy’s don’t cry.
“I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
‘Cause boys don’t cry”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:30 am
Mine is close to home also. It reminds me when I needed the courage to leave my abusive husband. It’s about the freedom and loneliness of escaping spousal abuse.
“Birmingham” by Amanda Marshall
“And as she drives she rubs her rosary
She’s never been so all alone she’s never felt so free
She’s got miles to go
Blind faith and hope”
January 18th, 2014 at 8:44 am
I work with women who have been abused by men in the work place and at home. I usually have this one playing in my office when they come in.
“Bustin’ Out” It is performed by Jelly’s Pierced Tattoo from their album “Be Free.” It is about destroying myths and socially-defined gender roles.
“So frail and delicate and weak,
A strong and brave one is an anomaly
‘Keep in your place’
Barefoot and pregnant and just don’t speak!
But if Mom or Wife ain’t there
He just can’t function can he?”
The album has so many poignant songs. I just love it. I’m single now and a lawyer. It has been difficult. I was married to an attorney I met at work. He was married and he cheated on her to be with me. It didn’t occur to me that if he did that to her, he would do it to me.
Also, I learned that women who disrespect other women by sleeping with their cheating spouse, are aiding and abetting the creeps. It was a terrible thing I did. I guess the karma I got when I discovered he was doing the same thing in our marriage was deserved.
It was hard and devastating to my self-esteem. I’m not sure if I’m over it. But take it day to day. Working with women who need me helps. I fill as if I am paying back for what I did to his first wife.
I have been reading your blog for 4 years. If I had taken its advice, I wouldn’t have encouraged his attentions in the first place. Oh, well, coulda, shoulda.
Thanks Michelle for providing a place for a girl to vent.
Shannon
January 18th, 2014 at 8:56 am
Females aren’t the only one who have issues with the social demands of this world. I like “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin. It’s about the relationship between a father who’s too busy for his son, and the son who wants to grow up to be like his father.
“My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let’s play
Can you teach me to throw?” I said, “Not today,
I got a lot to do.” He said, “That’s okay.”
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed, it said
I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:06 am
This is just great Michelle. Here is my favorite. I like it because it’s about the inconsistencies and double standards inherent in social expectations across genders.
“Guys Do It All the Time” by Mindy McCready.
“Guys do it all the time and expect us to understand
When the shoe’s on the other foot
You know that’s when it hits the fan,
Get over it honey, life’s a two way street
Or you won’t be a man of mine,
So I had some beers with the girls last night….
Guys do it all the time.”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:09 am
Zen Lill, I like this one what’s your favorite? “Hard Work” by Sally Rogers from the album “We’ll Pass Them On”. It’s about a new attitude for men:
” When my wifes at work, I feed the kids,
I wash their face and hands
They suck their thumbs, I wipe their bums and make the dinner plans
To town to buy the groceries with someone elses cash
I used to call it Womens Work but thats a pile of trash.”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:16 am
This is all me. “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy
“Yes, I am wise, but it’s wisdom for the pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price, but look how much I’ve gained,
If I have to, I can do anything,
I am strong, I am invincible, I am Woman.”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:20 am
Michelle, I love this article. I am so into inspirational music too. I would like to hear what Social Butterfly likes in music. What is your favorite song babe?
This GAY girl likes, “I’m Just a Girl” by No Doubt from the album “Tragic Kingdom.” It’s about a gay woman’s frustration over socially defined gender roles.
“Take this pink ribbon off my eyes.
I’m exposed and it’s no big surprise.
Don’t you think I know exactly where I stand?
This world is forcing me to hold your hand.
Oh I’m just a girl,and I’d rather not be.”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:25 am
Zen Lill, I like your evenness about things. You tend to see both sides of an issue. I’m a Zen Lill girl. My favorite is “Keep Your Head Up” by 2 Pac.
It’s about men treating women with more respect. I like it because as you would say there are some men who do.
“And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and
Our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our woman
Why we rape our woman
Do we hate our woman?”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:34 am
This one helped me when I was leaving a terrible marriage. “A Man’s Home Is His Castle” by Faith Hill. It’s about a woman’s difficulty leaving an abusive marriage. If mine were any more abusive I’d be dead now.
“So I pulled out my suitcase I started packin’ up my clothes
And Jimmy said, “Now linda, Where do you expect to go with those?”
I told him “I have tried but not an ounce of love survives”
Well he grabbed my wrist and shouted,
“You’re not leavin’ here alive”"
January 18th, 2014 at 9:41 am
Michelle, we have at least two things in common. We are both beautiful and talented. I am a very successful construction attorney. It is mostly a man’s field. So I get a lot of resentment when I stick it to one of my clients adversaries.
This is my favorite what is yours. “Not a Pretty Girl” performed by Ani Difranco. It is about challenging the assumption that women are weak or must rely on beauty to succeed:
“I’m not a pretty girl
That is not what I do
I ain’t no damsel in distress
And I don’t need to be rescued
So put me down punk
Wouldn’t you prefer a maiden fair?
Isn’t there a kitten stuck up in a tree somewhere?”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:51 am
Alice I LUV that 2Pac song let me post some if the lyrics fr the men here:
t)
When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it’s time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don’t we’ll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can’t make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you’re fed up ladies, but keep your head up
And my personal fave bc I feel it empowers:
DES’REE ‘Ya gotta be’
Thanks for asking, and now I’m going to go give some of the listed sings a listen if I don’t already know then well.
Luv, Zen Lill
January 18th, 2014 at 9:53 am
Michelle, I’m a very successful female politician. I could not resist the desire to post my favorite. So I used an alias to do it. My favorite is “Shaking the Tree” which is performed by Peter Gabriel from the album Shaking the Tree. It’s about celebrating women’s work toward redefining their social and political roles:
“Changing your ways, changing those surrounding you
Changing your ways, more than any man can do
Open your heart, show him the anger and pain
So you heal
Maybe he’s looking for his womanly side”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:55 am
I’m sad that just like our earth the whole Milky Way galaxy is deemed barbaric as well. Might need to find a kinder galaxy, Howie, is Sweeteno looking for candidates? I’m in.
- ZL
January 18th, 2014 at 9:58 am
My favorite is about interracial sympathy and compassion. It’s “Talk to Me Now” by Ani Difranco. The lyrics are:
“The color the color
The color of your skin don’t matter to me
As long as as long as
As long as we can live in harmony”
January 18th, 2014 at 9:59 am
Olina, I luv almost every song in that list, thanks for posting.
Lucy, I’m going to search that title you posted bc I’m not sure I know that song, thanks for posting.
-ZL
January 18th, 2014 at 10:07 am
Michelle, my favorite is “Video” by India Arie from her album Acoustic Soul. It’s about focusing on self-worth rather than the external clothing and silicone that some women believe they need to be accepted.
“I am not the average girl from your video and I ain’t built like a supermodel
But I’ve learned to love myself unconditionally, because I am a queen
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
I do whatever feels good to me
Am I less of a lady if I don’t wear pantyhose? “
January 18th, 2014 at 10:10 am
I am 42. I have been married three times. They all ended because the men tried to use their superior money earning power to abuse me or put me down. This song is about a husband’s abuse and power plays.
“Man got his woman to take his seed
He’s got the power
She’s got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man
She feeds him dinner or anything she can”