We Are Not ‘Worsening’ Things, We Are ‘Waking’ Things Up.
Posted by Michelle Moquin on February 25th, 2009
I had wanted to write about something else today but when I woke up, I felt that this conversation from yesterday needed to continue. I have more to say on the subject. I just have to add an observation that has come to my attention. I find it interesting that the male commentators (not ALL of them) get so offended when the women say, ‘Oh…let me guess…you have a small penis”…or ‘You’re letting the little head overrule the big head’, when women are speaking from a defensive position.
As the writer of my blog, I will say that I don’t make a comment or write an article taking an offensive position in regards to men and their genitals. No, in the contrary. When I make a comment that feels heated or ‘shrill’, it is coming from a defensive position as a rebuttal to another commentator, a man. And I think that I can safely say that this applies to most of the women commentators also.
I find it interesting that Al made a comment, ‘ …have always been in favor of your cause, but we may have a disagreement on some of your methods.’ My answer: My method, my defense, is in direct proportion to the offense. Let me clarify. Men come onto my blog and make harsh racist remarks towards Obama and any other OTW. I don’t need to list the name-calling that has been prevalent in the comments. Men come onto my blog and make harsh sexist remarks towards women, calling us not only second class citizens; our place is behind our men, but that we are nothing more than baby machines. In both cases, these men deprive women and OTW’s of equality and do everything in their power to maintain that status quo.
Men (once again not ALL) have rarely come to the defense of women by going off on these atrocious men who act and say such horrific things. Their silence tells us that they are either in support of these men, or they’re just too lazy, they don’t care, to take part and do anything in support of women or OTW’s.
Women on the other hand, and I brought this up yesterday, realizing that they are not physically capable of forcing men to accept us as equals, resort to competing psychologically. So when a man comes onto my blog and posts a racist or sexist remark, some women may feel that they have no choice but to respond in a defensive way….hit the man right in the psyche, or ‘square in the nuts’, since they can’t slap him in the face.
And when this happens, watch out…the men that were silently hanging in the sidelines are now out in the field. Where were you when women needed you to defend them? And yes, I will say that women do need the ‘real’ men out there to defend them. We need all of the help we can get because we are loosing big time! Yes, now they are out in the field, but who’s side are they on? Are they lashing out toward the men who initially made the cruel and disgusting remarks? No, they don’t come out to defend us…No, they (you know who you are) come out to serve another round of tongue lashings…more verbal abuse towards the women who are simply acting in defense of those initial offensive cruel and disgusting remarks. Some of the men, and you know who you are, adding to the cruel remarks, actually get pleasure from doing it. Sickening.
FYI: The shit is thrown in direct proportion to how it is dished out. I’m sick of men thinking they can continually abuse women verbally and physically and we are supposed to act like ladies and silently take it up the ass, or accept an apology, like it’s enough. Women have been gentle for too long and where has it gotten us? More oppressed and abused and it’s getting worse. Rape is now being used as a weapon of war – sickening. Our so called ‘name calling’ isn’t worsening things…it’s waking things up.
And I’m asked to change my method. Why? Are the men changing their methods? Yeah they’re changing all right – they’re getting more abusive.
It seems the only reaction we get out of men is when women react in direct proportion to the abusive delivery we receive. Until then, men (not ALL) basically do nothing. If men don’t like the methods I and women use then start changing your ways. Don’t be verbally abusive one day and apologize the next day and expect it to be enough. It isn’t. Start treating women and OTW’s as equals…start respecting them and honoring the differences, and you will receive the same treatment. If you aren’t racist or sexist, then support women and OTW’s. Do something. Until then, don’t expect my methods to change.
*******
Anonz: It is hard to read your write and not feel compassion for what you must be going through. I know it is your choice, and even though you are committed to the task, you sound tired…and your desire to return to your beloved country is apparent. I wish for you and your men, all the strength, energy, and courage that you can muster, to defeat your enemies, avenge Nia’s murderers, and complete your mission quickly and successfully. In regards to your personal task: “Better honor than accolades.” May peace come soon.
Lora: I am not surprised that you are not happy being back here. No one who leaves seems to want to return, but it is part of the deal.
In regards to that Nuclear “accident” that you spoke, of we’ll handle this via comunication 27.
Barbara and Melinda: Thank you!
Caroline: It is a continual quest to get them to ‘get it’. Keep trying.
Qalat: Thanks for your confidence and no worries. As long as I have a venue I will continue to write, inspire and encourage hope.
10:23AM: I just saw Melvin’s comment on yestersay’s post. A perfect example for my post today. Now…what method do you think would be best to use for my defensive rebuttal? Since I am done posting for the day, I’ll look forward to someone else’s comment. ‘Real’ men: Here’s your chance. Do something.
Peace & Love: Live it, Give it!
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle Aka
BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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February 25th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Melvin
Have you met the man of your dreams. You sound like my lover. He is married too. But this man is his true love. I have met his children and his wife. They don’t know that I am gay or that he is either.
He is a Mormon, big man in his church, but he believes that God made him this way and that he has done his duty to his church by marring a woman and raising four well adjusted adults.
We have been lovers for 23 years. He is a decent man who can’t help the position society has put him in.
February 25th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Hi Mischa, Melvin is a piece of work and he’s got a book that tells him he’s right to hold women down and call real men ‘pussies’ if they don’t act like him. And he may also be duplicious as hell if Shawn is calling it right. I can’t take a male like this seriously, nor would I waste my time rebutting anything he says.
There are some real men out there and I’m sure they’ll step up.
Roger comes to mind and so does Mark, commenters from yesterday. And it goes without saying that Anonz and Doug are real men. How about you two, Howie? Al? I think you are though both of you are quick to be reactive…but please, set me straight ; )I know you have it in you.
Mark, you are correct, a real man does not insult women, ever. I would counter that real women don’t insult men either except, except when sheer frustration about not being heard, etc…(all of above post and what’s been discussed since last Saturday) reaches the breaking point, then we might go Mt Vesuvius. Of course, most males would probably blame that on women – she’s a uppity bitch, she’s a ‘trouble-making ball buster’, she’s unable to control her ‘hormones’ (an easy blow off to not wanting to step up if there ever was one)…me and my hormones have been together a very long time, and just like a man and his trusty razor, you sort the deal out early on so you don’t hurt yourself. Any other excuses I didn’t think of?
…and generally speaking, I think blogs bc of the anonymous factor provoke heated statements followed by apologies when
the commenter gets called out. I think if at first you want to lash out, think again, come back later, treat the convo as if it were in person, would you go for Mischa’s or any female commenters/my jugular if we were in each other’s presence? male or female, I think not…but I could be wrong, it’s happened before : )
I can’t wait for the flurry of real men responses ; ) this is exciting!
- Zen Lill
February 25th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I think I will chime in on this.
It is the Melvin type of behavior that gives real men (or in Michelle’s continued reminder of the “not ALL men” kind of men) a bad wrap. It is this blinded, man made religious dogmatic kind of intelligence that keeps societies tied to antiquated philosophies.
There are still many Melvin kind of men out there in this world as well all know and hear from in this forum, whether they are Mormon, Catholic, Muslim or anything else, that take this approach, to which the lifestyle they preach and teach to their sons is, only helping to facilitate the recycling of this archaic behavior.
I can only state that there are other books to read and learn and grow as a human being than simply The Bible, The Koran, The Book of Mormon and such. The continued excuses for our societies irrational behavior that so many people use of that of hiding behind these holy books is getting tired.
February 25th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Zen Lill
You are so hot! I want you for me. I am in Austria, but I can see you as the woman of my dreams. There is lots of great skiing here and me.
I would move to America so quick if I though I could have a chance with you. I have made a few mistakes with women in my past. But I have learned to be a better listener.
My former wife sent me the link to this blog about 6 months ago. She said that she thought I was ready for the experience.
This blog has truly been an experience. The commenters are without shame, restraint, or fear. They just let it roar.
My english has always been good because of my 19 years of living in the US. But I never experienced anything like this blog.
Some of the men need their mouths washed out. Some of the women are incredibly tolerant. But you Zen Lill are the flower among the roses that just smells so good.
Lenny
February 25th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I am with you Michelle and Zen Lill. We women react the way we do because we have no other non violent way to vent that will get these guys attention.
Guys we don’t want to annihilate you. We just want you to take our complaints seriously. I love my two boys. I have always wanted a little girl, but I love my two little men to death.
I would lay down my life for them in a sec. But I would not support them being mean to women when they grow up.
Tekke