Finding Humor In The Havoc
Posted by Michelle Moquin on March 21st, 2009
Good morning…
I have to say that it was fun to read the comments this morning. I enjoyed that we got off of politics and got personal, whether it was purging or sharing stories from the past. A friend said to me the other day, that at some point when everything is going down, you need to find the humor in the havoc and have a good laugh. And I thought about it. After all, if you are doing as much as you can, and still things aren’t coming together, life can feel quite ridiculous. And when it does, if you allow it, humor drops in and gives you a tickle. I have had some moments with humor these days.
Hi Lori: First of all, no man is perfect, but my man is better than most husbands out there that I have come across. I am grateful for and appreciate his good qualities. Now, your man…I know it must’ve been an upsetting time for you, but hey, in the end I really think you did him a favor. What better way to leave this world than to go out with a bang? I hope that you don’t mind that I added some humor to your story today. And like you said, ‘If the roles were reversed….’ I think he got just what he deserved. :)
Zen Lill: Again, my apologies for being insensitive. I have been in my own little world lately…
Hi Creg: You are right..men aren’t the only ‘aholes’. Still, pardon me for laughing a bit at the fact that your young daughter was mimicking your wife’s love-making noises. Again, I know it must’ve been a difficult time for you but looking back, does it not make you laugh a little? I hope that you have moved past the bitterness and you have a fresher look at things.
Which speaking of…I don’t blame you for leaving your wife but also not speaking to your daughter feels a bit harsh to me. I think you are missing out by not having a relationship with her. I don’t think that your daughter was conspiring with your cheating wife. I think your cheating wife acted very unfairly to her young daughter by putting her in that position. I think she is innocent in this. After all, it sounds like your daughter wanted to tell you but was probably told by her mother to keep silent all of those years.
What a horrible thing for a young girl to have to hide from her father. And how it must affect her as a woman today. It seems she finally got the courage at age eighteen to tell you and you write her off. I hope you don’t mind me saying that I think you should call her up and try to salvage your relationship with her. It’s never too late.
Jodi, Susan, Loni, Sandra, Michelle: All of your stories were so much fun to read. These past few weeks I have gotten together with some of my girls from high school and we have been laughing so much at all of the funny stories that happened to us ions ago. And Sandra, thank you for saying that you found Colette’s story hilarious; I did too.
I’ll share one that happened to me when I was young that I find pretty funny.
I was meeting this guy that I had a total crush on, at a party, and we were kind of ‘going out’…nothing official but we were definitely into each other. We decided to take a walk to a nearby park to make-out. Well, things got pretty hot and heavy with the kissing. About an hour or so later I needed to leave. So, we walked back to the party and my friend’s parents picked us up and dropped me off at home.
I walked in the door and my mother asked me how the party was. I went on and on about how much fun it was. She asked me if I went anywhere else. And I lied and said no. She said, “Michelle, where were you? Your sweater is on inside out and you have grass all over you.” I was so embarrassed then, and she was a bit ticked. But of course we both laugh about it now.
I hope that 20 years from now I will be laughing at the times today. Enjoy your Saturday and make it something worth laughing about…now or later.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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March 21st, 2009 at 8:32 am
Hi Mischa, no worries BABE. I understand about life getting busy, I did send a quick follow up q via e.
I am getting a kick out of these stories, the sex instructions was hysterical. Your sweater inside out had me laughing out loud : ) This is a nice break from politics. That often leaves me frustrated and PO’d about our current sitch.
Long weekend of work/play for me, then Lisa from Philly arrives Sun for a 72 hour visit : ) oh boy I can’t wait – will be fun but she wants to ‘talk’ hahaha she thinks I’m too Zen wants me to snap out of it, she also wants to know if I’m getting ‘my itch scratched’ hahaha, she makes me laugh. She’s been saying I’m too chilled out for years now, maybe she’s right? I’ll give her a listen since she loves me more than my own mother. : )
Thanks for the stories, Luv, Zen Lill
March 21st, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Michelle
I took you advice and called my daughter. She cried and said that she had waited for this call every day for 7 years. I asked her to forgive me for being such a selfish fool. She said that there was nothing to forgive, she was so happy to have her daddy back. Then she gave me all the uncashed checks and money orders I had being sending her the past 7 years.
She asked me what changed my mind and I told her about your blog. She read what I had written and your comments today. Then we broke into a big laugh when she mimicked what she had done when she was eight years old. So I guess you were right old wounds can become amusing if we learn to let go of the hurt and anger.
I have always loved my daughter. I just felt betrayed and I was a self centered fool. I thank gloria for recommending your blog to me last year and you for taking the time to reason with a stubborn man.
Thank you
Creg
March 21st, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Michelle I loved your story. Here’s one of mine.
About years ago I was at my gynecologist. He told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting so wet without realizing it until my doctor said “that my be a bit too relaxed.”
Now when I think about how wet I got that paper under me, I just laugh. Never could bring my self to go back to that doctor though. Wonder what he has experienced in his office that topped that?
Tina
March 21st, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Hafa adai:
This is the kind of scum that is invading our island.
Can I shoot this prick – Please!
Scams are one thing on the Internet. We all hear about the Nigerian 411 cash hauls that are made because people can be stupid and greedy and we snicker away at their foolishness. As bad as those maybe they pale in comparison to a scam that plays on the live and death emotions of people in desperate need of transplants.
It appears that one Jerome Feldman, 67, a psychiatrist wanted already in Florida for health-care fraud has been arrested in Guam. In addition to his outstanding charges in Florida he is also charged by the Federal authorities for duping patients into paying hundreds of thousands of dollars through Feldman’s liver4you.org website for organ transplants that never materialized. The prosecutors say that the scam which netted Feldman as much as $400,000 also lead to the death of a Canadian man who was expecting a liver.
The latest example concerns a Canadian couple. After seeing Feldman’s online site, liver4you.org, the pair wired $70,000 to a New York bank account for Feldman last year. In exchange, the husband was promised he would get a new liver at a hospital in the Philippines.
The man checked into the hospital in July, where he died after the hospital refused to provide a transplant. The hospital said it had never heard of a “Dr. Mitch Michaelson,” the doctor who was supposed to save the man’s life.
New York U.S. Attorney Andrew Baxter accused Feldman on Thursday of being a “perpetrator of an unconscionable scheme directed at desperate and vulnerable victims.”
Adding insult to injury, the hospital billed the dead man’s widow $20,000.
Source: Threat Level
Bilking someone out of their money is one thing but doing at the cost of their life – unforgiveable.
Peter
March 21st, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Fugitive found in Philippines
By JULIE MURPHY
Staff Writer
A suspected Medicaid-fraud fugitive of eight years from the Daytona Beach area was tracked to the Philippines and arrested, officials said Friday.
Feldman
Jerome Howard Feldman, 69, was arrested early in February, according to the Florida Attorney General’s Office, and is being held in Guam.
Investigators believe Feldman — a former psychiatrist and Medicaid provider who had offices in Daytona Beach, Melbourne and St. Petersburg — and a group of seven co-conspirators defrauded Florida’s Medicaid program of more than $1.3 million between April 1998 and September 1999, a report states. The group primarily dealt with HIV and AIDS patients.
Feldman would bill the Medicaid program for large quantities of AIDS infusion therapy drugs but never provided the drugs to several patients and even billed for patients no longer being treated, the report states.
Additionally, investigators contend Feldman and the co-conspirators created several fictional corporations and bank accounts to conceal proceeds, as well as devising a kickback scheme with a South Florida pharmacy to bill Florida Medicaid for diverted drugs. The diverted drugs were then resold to the prescription wholesale market by the co-conspirators.
In April 2001, the Attorney General’s Office charged Feldman with criminal racketeering, conspiracy to commit racketeering, Medicaid fraud, grand theft, money laundering and dealing in stolen property. Feldman fled before trial and was not located until he was recognized in the Philippines.
Feldman faces federal wire fraud charges in New York, according to the Attorney General’s Office. He will be extradited to Florida when the federal case is concluded.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Hafa adai
Peter don’t forget Guam’s history month. For those Chamorros on the mainland here’s and old news paper article.
March 22, 1945 — 64 years ago — “How sad is the picture of Agana in Ruins!” exclaimed Bishop Olano upon his return to Guam. “The church of San Antonio, the cathedral, the parochial hall, the bishop’s place are in ruins! It is almost impossible to recognize the old landmarks, so changed and depressing the whole scene.” Not only was the city of Agana a total ruin but more than 80 percent of all buildings and homes in the island were destroyed during the 6-week American bombardment. Of 3,286 buildings throughout the 210-square-mile island, 2,631 were destroyed. More than 19,000 Guamanians were made homeless by the bombardment, and the dire situation was further aggravated by the immediate need for land and accommodations by more than 200,000 American troops being readied for the invasion of Iwo Jima, Chi Chi Jima and eventually the Japanese homeland. In the farming district of Yona alone, about 33,000 Marines of the 3rd Division were in training for the conquest of Japan
Stay loyal to Guam
Anna
March 21st, 2009 at 6:24 pm
This is not funny:
My parents won’t stop bragging about how my sister is dating the captain of her high school football team. I just got accepted to law school.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:28 pm
I may laugh at this 20 years from today, I doubt it. Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants “a change in life”. This from a woman who hasn’t taken a bath in 3 years. And who has sported the same hair style since we married in june of 1981.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Ned, God I’m glad I read your comment. I was about to marry this girl, now I see our future if I do. She is heartless and cruel to everyone we know. She says that she is just being honest. Here is an example of her “honesty.”
Yesterday, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, “This is hard to maintain.” She replied with “So’s your erection.”
I was stunned
Blake
March 21st, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Sandra so you think you have a jewish mother story. My mother called me and said that I should hurry home as fast I could so as not to miss my father’s face when he sees what she is giving to my little brother for his bar mitzvah.
While running to my car, I slipped, and slammed my head into the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for “goofing off” and that she was “sick of my shit”.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:42 pm
BREAST CANCERS THAT DISAPPEAR WITHOUT TREATMENT
Mammograms save many lives, but screening for breast cancer also produces many false positive results — leading to unnecessary, invasive testing, not to mention untold anxiety for women and their loved ones. A recent study has identified yet another concern. In Norway, investigators found that women who underwent screening mammography were significantly more likely to be diagnosed with breast cancer than those who did not get screened, leading to the possibility that some breast cancers disappear spontaneously on their own without treatment. It’s an intriguing finding, given how much time, cost and anxiety is associated with diagnosing breast cancer — even more so when you consider how many women might not require aggressive treatment, including potent drugs, powerful radiation and painful, disfiguring surgery, for cancers that might disappear on their own.
I spoke with one of the country’s leading breast cancer authorities, Susan Love, MD, a clinical professor of surgery at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine, founder of the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation (www.dslrf.org) and author of Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book. She called the study “extremely encouraging,” noting it might someday enable researchers to identify which types of breast cancers require treatment and which can simply be monitored… but she cautions that we’re not there yet. At present, women should continue to get their regularly scheduled mammograms.
MORE SCREENING = MORE POSITIVE DIAGNOSES
In the study, investigators compared the number of breast cancers detected in two groups of Norwegian women, ages 50 to 64 (over 100,000 participants), who underwent mammography screening. One group received three mammograms between 1996 and 2001 as part of a new national screening program. The other group had just a single screening in 1997.
Theoretically, these comparable groups should have the same number of cancers, says Dr. Love. Yet that did not prove to be the case. Researchers found 22% more breast cancers in the women who underwent more frequent mammograms. This raises the possibility that left untreated, these tumors might have spontaneously regressed. It’s not such a far-fetched theory, given that scientists already know of at least one other cancer — a rare childhood cancer called a neuroblastoma — that is known to regress without treatment in as many as 7% of cases that are detected through screening.
These results were published in the November 24, 2008, issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine. Though the study results raised a hubbub, Dr. Love didn’t find them surprising and said she suspects the type that disappears on its own might be one called “almost normal” breast cancer because it is so non-aggressive. “It’s just a hunch though,” she notes — agreeing with the researchers that further study is required.
“WATCH AND WAIT” A POSSIBLE NEW APPROACH?
Just as “watch and wait” is a treatment strategy for some prostate cancers, perhaps research will identify certain types of breast cancers that can safely be approached in the same way, says Dr. Love. Looking ahead, she notes that this and similar studies may even lead to changes in what’s considered “cancer.” It may be that in some people, some groups of abnormal cells may appear that will never develop into a life-threatening tumor and should not be referred to — or more importantly treated as — cancer.
As things now stand, though, it’s impossible to predict whether a tumor will spontaneously regress, nor will that likely be possible anytime soon.
For now, the American Cancer Society recommends that women get an annual mammogram beginning at age 40. Women at high risk — those with a family history of breast cancer or who test positive for a genetic mutation in BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 genes — should also get an MRI. If you are uncertain, consult your physician to determine your risk level.
Source(s): ??Susan Love, MD, clinical professor of surgery, David Geffen School of Medicine, UCLA, Los Angeles, California. Dr. Love is founder, president and medical director of the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation
March 21st, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Michelle, I LOL at your story reminds me of the time I got a an e-mail from a guy I’d had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he was in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he’d ever made in his life. So he informed me that having sex with me made that list.
I immediately called all my closest girl friends and told them I was on a drug addict’s list of regrets. Of course I told them his regret was that he would never get a good piece like that again.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Tina here is my doctor storyl
I am 38 years old. I went to the dentist a week ago. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. As I did I looked down he has an incredible hard on. I don’t know if I should go back.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Here’s a mother’s story of a son she knows will grow up to be gay. My child says “Mommy. Sometimes my peepee goes up like a stick.” I say “Well, honey, that’s normal and ok.” Then I ask when it does that. And he says “Well, sometimes when watching TV I see Scooby Doo and Shaggy come out dressed in lady clothes…”
March 21st, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Michelle I had a similar embarrassment. It was not with my mother though. It happen when I was 18 about 30 years ago.
After sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren’t her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched “What are you doing with my panties!”
It took me a while but now every time I remember that look on her face I just crack up.
Jerry
March 21st, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Ned, Blake, I’m with both of you. My girlfriend is such a smart mouth too. She was driving me to her house against my will when I said, “Sometimes it’s annoying that you always decide where we go because you drive.” She replied, “Yeah, I wish I could be more of the girl in this relationship.”
Where did that come from?
Phillip
March 21st, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Anon7;
I feel you girl. When I learned I made the dean’s honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, “when you’re as successful as your brother, I’ll be proud.” My brother is a Chippendale’s dancer.
March 21st, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Okay guys you want to tell tales about you girlfriends, here’s one about a boyfriend.
My boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking “What are you doing?” Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, “Linda.”
After I got over my embarrassment and went home. I called him and asked him if he always told his mother the true. He said he never did but in this case he couldn’t think of a good lie.
Linda
March 21st, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Phillip, Ned and Blake do we have a lot in common. I was thinking of asking my girlfriend of 6 years to marry me. That was until I texted her, telling her how I hated my job and how I felt like I was trapped and just wasting my time. A couple of minutes later she texted back, saying “That’s how I feel about our relationship.”
Women can be so cold. I’m thinking of not asking her to marry me.
Sam
March 21st, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Zen lill
My girlfriends are always asking me if I’m getting my itch scratched too. Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior’s home. I don’t know what’s worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am.
March 21st, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Grand parents can be just as cruel as parents. My sister Dawn and I are twins. I received a happy birthday letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Shawn.
I am Shawn. She put the letters into the wrong envelopes. I changed the Shawn to Dawn and showed it to Dawn. She showed me the one she received from grandma. It read the same as mine, and she too had changed Dawn to Shawn.
That was 11 years ago. We still laugh out loud today about it. When the family buried the old liar, we were laughing so hard at her funeral, they asked us to leave. We just couldn’t help it. Every time we looked at each other we thought about what we had done when we erased the other’s name and replaced it.
Shawn and Dawn.
March 22nd, 2009 at 9:21 am
Eliot Spitzer was brought down by the bush criminals because they new that if he was governor when AIG came for the money. He would have blown the scam. He went after AIG for fraud.
He prosecuted AIG for cooking the books. He knew that they were manufactoring the impression of wealth. And paying Washington for allowing them to self regulate.
March 22nd, 2009 at 9:23 am
Why can’t I get in?