My Brief Life As A Woman
Posted by Michelle Moquin on June 11th, 2009
I just love this story. Many many months ago I was going to write an article ‘strictly for women’. Not that men couldn’t read it…I’m just not sure that they would want to. The topic was going to be ‘The Monthly P’. You know what I’m talking about so I don’t need to spell it out. And believe me, I was gonna get down and bloody with the oh-so-intimate details. There was going to be no tempering here….as usual :) And hey, if men read it which I think they would, they might’ve even learned something. But…I just never got around to writing that article. ( yet :)
So then I came across this article: My Brief Life As A Woman. Written by Dana Jennings of the New York Times. Unfortunately he had prostate cancer. His experiences and aside from the hardships of having cancer, were very interesting and enlightening. Check it out:
As my wife and I sat on the couch one night this past winter, reading and half-watching the inevitable HGTV, I started sweating hard and my face got so fevered and flushed that I felt as if I were peering into an oven.
I turned to Deb and said, “Man, I’m having a wicked hot flash.” And she said, “Me, too.” Then we laughed. You laugh a lot — unless your hormones are making you cry — when you’re having menopause with your wife.
I was in the middle of treatment for an aggressive case of prostate cancer last winter, and it included a six-month course of hormone therapy. My Lupron shots suppressed testosterone, which is the fuel for prostate cancer.
When your testosterone is being throttled, there are bound to be side effects. So, with the help of Lupron, I spent a few months aboard the Good Ship Menopause with all the physical baggage that entails. It’s a trip that most men don’t expect to take.
The side effect that surprised me most were the hot flashes — not that I got them, I was expecting that, but by how intense they were. They often woke me in the middle of the night and made me sweat so much that I drenched the sheets. In midwinter I’d walk our miniature poodle, Bijou, wearing shorts and a T-shirt. I sometimes felt as if Deb could fry eggs on my chest. (It’s also a bit disconcerting when your hot flashes are fiercer than your wife’s.)
When it comes to hot flashes, ladies, I salute you. After my brief dalliance with that hormonal phenomenon, it seems to me it’s an under-reported condition. And it’s certainly under-represented in the arts. Where are the great hot flash novels or movies? How come there’s not a Web site or magazine called “Hot Flash Monthly”?
Hand in hand with the hot flashes came the food cravings. I lusted after Cheetos and Peanut Butter M&M’s, maple-walnut milkshakes, and spaghetti and meatballs buried in a blizzard of Parmesan. Isn’t it funny how cravings very rarely involve tofu, bean curd or omega-3 oils?
Then there was the weight issue. During the six months I was on Lupron I gained about 25 pounds. That was partly a byproduct of the cravings, but it also stemmed from the hormonal changes triggered in my body.
And I hated it, hated it, hated it. I had never had to worry about my weight, and I began to understand why media aimed at women and girls obsess over weight so much. It was strange and unsettling not to be able to tell my body, “No,” when it wanted to wolf down a fistful of Doritos slathered with scallion cream cheese.
When I wasn’t devouring a king-size Italian sub or smoldering from a hot flash, it seemed that I was crying. The tears would usually pour down when I got ambushed by some old tune: “Sweet Baby James” and “Fire and Rain” by James Taylor, “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” by Carly Simon and, yes, “It’s My Party” by Lesley Gore. Not only was I temporarily menopausal, but it appeared that I was also turning into a teenage girl from the early 1970s.
There were other side effects, too, like headaches and fatigue. But when I started drinking Diet Coke for the first time in my life, my son Owen couldn’t take it anymore. He said, “Dad, are you turning into a chick?”
So, what else did I learn during my six months of hormone therapy?
Even though I only got to spend a brief time on the outer precincts of menopause, it did confirm my lifelong sense that the world of women is hormonal and mysterious, and that we men don’t have the semblance of a clue.
And, guys, when your significant female other bursts into tears at the drop of a dinner plate or turns on you like a rabid pit bull — whether she’s pregnant, having her period or in the throes of menopause — believe her when she blames it on the hormones.
One more thing. I don’t really know whether menopause likes company — you’d have to ask my wife that — but I do know that it really, really likes HGTV and Peanut Butter M&M’s.
~~~~~~~~
Thankfully, I am not at the menopausal age yet and I am not looking forward to it. My grandmother never had the hot flashes and my mother still has them. I am hoping that I will take after my grandmother and be done with it.
But I hope for you men out there that you got a little peek (maybe too much of a peek?) into just a tiny segment of what some women can go through, and you can understand it just a little bit more.
Comments? blog me.
Note: I was not able to get into the administrative level of my blog nor even view the home page all morning. This happened yesterday too, and I’m not sure what is going on. I enjoy blogging in the morning as I enjoy reading the comments when I wake up fresh , which inspires my daily write. But perhaps if this keeps happening, I may have to resort to writing in the evening and doing an automatic post should I not be able to get in again in the morning. Which is the reason why I am blogging late.
Anyways….enough of that. I need to get to work so I will reserve any comments that I have to the readers from yesterday….until tomorrow….
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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June 11th, 2009 at 10:45 am
It was a shock to see the violence carried out by an 88 year old man. It would seem to me that he would have had an opportunity to grow out of his hatred.
My friend Thomas Jefferson used to say, “In the fevered state of our country, no good can ever result from any attempt to set one of these f!ery zealots to rights, either in fact or principle. They are determined as to the facts they will believe, and the opinions on which they will act. Get by them, therefore, as you would by an angry bull; it is not for a man of sense to dispute the road with such an an!mal”.
It is not only blogs like Mr. Brunn’s that instigate, encourage, and maintain a steady stream of hatred. Your main form of media, with radio and talk show host like O’ Reilly, Hannity, Dobbs, and Beck to name a few are just as guilty.
It is even more appalling, that women are making a profession out of pitting ignorant whites against their fellow Americans and generating xenophobia in our great nation.
One in particular,Ann Coulter, has made a fortune fomenting hatred towards liberals, minorities, gays, foreigners, and any other group that she senses a profit in making others hate.
Alexander Hamilton
June 11th, 2009 at 10:47 am
RUBMAN’S DIGESTION CONNECTION: WHY STRESS MAKES YOU FAT — CALORIES AREN’T THE CULPRIT
Have you noticed that when you’re under stress, pounds seem to pack on more easily… whereas when you’re relaxed and life is going well, it’s just less of an issue? I sure have, and in fact I find that I often lose a few pounds while on vacation even though I eat as much, if not more than normal. I recently joked about this with Daily Health News contributing medical editor Andrew L. Rubman, ND, who confirmed my hypothesis that stress alters the metabolism.
Cortisol is the culprit, he told me. The fight or flight syndrome that is the basis of our physiological response to stress causes the adrenal glands to produce this hormone, whose job it is to modulate the effects of insulin on blood sugar. Ongoing stress can tax the system beyond its normal abilities… especially when coupled with poor dietary choices.
The body “prepares” to fight or flee by packing away energy stores it thinks it will need. Cortisol irregularities also affect blood sugar balance. Mostly these are due to aging, ongoing stress, insufficient cholesterol reserves and dietary imbalances. Cortisol levels normally rise in the morning (peaking around 7 am) and fall in the evening. If you regularly awaken in the middle of the night for no other reason than to worry — about your teenager, your social calendar, your bank account — you should pay attention. “This may be your adrenal gland saying ‘wake up,’ there is something wrong with your insulin-cortisol-blood sugar balance,” says Dr. Rubman.
GETTING BACK INTO BALANCE
Signs that your body is not properly managing blood sugar levels swing to both extremes:
Low blood sugar, or hypoglycemia: Common symptoms of hypoglycemia include anxiety, sweating, hunger, trembling, headache, clamminess and heart palpitations. When severe, these can progress to confusion, seizures, loss of consciousness, coma and even death.
High blood sugar or hyperglycemia: Common symptoms of hyperglycemia include hunger, thirst, frequent urination, fatigue or extreme tiredness, blurred vision and unexplained weight loss.
If you see yourself in either of these categories — particularly if you have several symptoms — ask your doctor for blood and urine tests that can determine whether you are entering a danger zone. Fortunately this is the stage where you can still prevent serious disease — insulin resistance is often fully reversible. To control blood sugar, Dr. Rubman individually prescribes a supplemental regimen that may include the following measures, adding the caveat that supplements should always be used under a physician’s supervision, so consult your doctor for an individualized prescription.
Make sure you take in sufficient chromium. This essential trace mineral is necessary for efficient insulin function and carbohydrate, fat and protein metabolism. Chromium helps keep insulin and cortisol in balance, says Dr. Rubman. Brewer’s yeast is one of the best sources, but it can cause bloating and nausea so it is better to rely on dietary sources, including beef, liver, eggs, chicken, oysters, wheat germ, green peppers, apples, bananas and spinach. If diet alone proves insufficient, chromium polynicotinate supplements can be taken.
Love your liver. Maintaining optimal liver function helps keep blood sugar in balance by providing a reserve to supply glucose to the bloodstream when there’s a temporary shortfall. In addition to the helpful strategies listed above, consider supportive supplements such as glucomannan, a fiber supplement that is particularly effective at removing wastes from the liver via bile. Dr. Rubman often prescribes this fiber supplement for his patients to take 30 minutes before lunch and dinner with a large glass of water.
Bulk up on vitamin B. According to Dr. Rubman, the “minimum daily requirement” for vitamin B is not sufficient for optimal digestive performance so he often prescribes a high-potency B vitamin twice daily for his patients. Also, many people are what he calls “functionally deficient” in vitamin B-12, which can impair other B vitamin functions and a myriad of physiological processes, so it’s a good idea to ask your physician to assess your B-12 level. Bright yellow urine is a good sign that you’re getting an adequate supply from your multi-B supplement (the color is produced by trace amounts of Riboflavin, or B-2, spilling over into the urine). Dr. Rubman prefers B-12 sublingual (dissolved under the tongue) pills that come in the form of hydroxycobalamin or methylcobalamin, which should only be prescribed by a doctor.
Fill up on fiber. Fiber helps everything move smoothly and efficiently through the digestive tract. Fiber promotes healthy flora in the gut and binds and transports excess bile acids out of the body. Fiber-rich meals help contribute to a steady and sustained contribution to blood sugar. All that’s widely recognized, yet in this country our average fiber intake is 10 grams daily, while 25 to 30 grams are required for good health. Good high fiber foods include steamed vegetables, ripe fruits, lentils, black beans, barley, chickpeas, bulgur, brown rice, oatmeal and whole-grain breads and cereals. Avoid refined and processed items such as white bread, pasta, cornflakes, cookies, candy and other sweets. Another benefit of fiber-rich foods? They have the advantage of satisfying hunger more effectively, since they are broken down slowly in the digestive system. In contrast, simple and refined sugars (for example, from processed foods and sweets) quickly cause blood sugar spikes… then a crash in energy that leaves you craving something sweet.
As always, the goal is to prevent big problems like diabetes and heart disease from developing by identifying them at an earlier and more controllable stage. Blood sugar is one indicator to pay close attention to… the payoff will be better health.
Source(s): ??Andrew L. Rubman, ND, director, Southbury Clinic for Traditional Medicines, Southbury, Connecticut.
June 11th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Thanks for the articles about women Michelle. Here is one that shows that women can do as good a job as men if given the opportunity. Or as you have stated so eloquently – “You shouldn’t have to stand up for your rights. If you have them, you get them…there is no standing up for them. Do men have to stand up for their rights?” We all know the answer to that one.
Here is the story:
MITCH STACY, Associated Press Writer
1 Hour Ago
(06-11) 03:37 PDT Tampa, Fla. (AP) —
The 8-foot alligator opens its jaws wide and hisses in the dark at Julie Harter, who takes a few steps closer and dangles a lasso just like the kind rodeo cowboys use.
Cornered against a chain-link fence in a suburban garbage truck parking lot, the beast issues a guttural growl, warning the lady with the rope – the only woman out of 40 or so trappers licensed by the state – to keep her distance.
With her auburn hair pulled back in a pony tail and a gold alligator pendant dangling from a chain around her neck, Harter comes off as kind of a cross between Reba McEntire and Dog the Bounty Hunter. Southern-sweet but sturdy and tough as gator hide.
The 47-year-old grandmother is used to snide, under-the-breath comments from good ol’ boys and doubters when she gets out of the truck. They shut up when she hops on a big gator’s back, grabs the snout and wraps it tight with black electrician’s tape.
The gator in front of her at this moment is going to be a little tricky. The corner is dark and littered with junk, and she can’t get close enough to use her usual tool: a catch pole with a retractable wire loop on the end. So out comes the lasso.
On the third toss, Harter rings the gator’s head, yanks the rope tight around its neck and drags the thrashing creature to the middle of the paved lot. The garbage-truck guys who’ve been watching scatter like little kids on the playground.
It’s 9 p.m., the tail end of a day that Harter started 14 hours earlier at her other job, working with special education students at a central Florida high school.
“A girl’s work is never done,” she says, climbing into her big black Ford truck with the “Lady Gator Trapper” license plate.
About 1.3 million wild alligators live among 18 million people in the Sunshine State. With drought and development shrinking their habitat, the large reptiles inevitably wander into back yards, highways, swimming pools and parking lots.
Nuisance trappers working for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission captured nearly 10,000 alligators last year, slaughtering most of them. Harter and a helper took 346 of them from her territory around Tampa.
The state doesn’t pay trappers, but they get to keep the alligators, which are a protected species. There is a market for the meat, but the real money is in the hides, which can bring $40 a foot. Some years, catching gators is more profitable for Harter than her teaching job.
A native Floridian, she learned how to catch alligators from her trapper husband, Billy. They were together nine years, until he was killed in a 2003 helicopter accident.
She spent weeks in bed crying after he died. Then somebody from the state called and asked her to apply for his trapping contract. She says she did it because she liked the work and was good at it, not because Billy did it.
She’ll acknowledge, though, that doing the work he loved has helped her manage pain that is still so raw it brings tears without warning.
“This has kind of kept me attached,” she says in a quiet moment. “It’s helped with the grief.”
She said she still hears Billy’s voice in her head: “Be careful. Treat every alligator like it was the first you ever caught.”
She’s never been bitten nor even had a close call, she says.
The same day Harter was called to rescue the garbage-truck guys, she didn’t even change out of her flip-flops to snag a 4-foot alligator from a woman’s front door step. This one apparently wandered away from a neighborhood pond in one of the many newer subdivisions that sprawl north of Tampa.
At the next stop, Melissa Ainsworth nearly hugs Harter just for showing up.
An alligator has been crawling out of the pond in back of her house and sunning in the yard. The other day, Ainsworth’s 5-year-old daughter wandered outside and there it was, just a few feet away.
“I’ve been living it, sleeping it, dreaming about it,” Ainsworth says. “You could say I’m paranoid.”
After catching the gator on a hook baited with beef lung, Harter drags it ashore, tapes the mouth shut, binds the legs and drags the thing by the tail out to the truck.
This one is 6 feet, 3 inches – “a nasty teenager,” Harter says. Before she puts it in the cage with the others, she chats with folks who have gathered with their cell phone cameras. She lets some of the kids touch the alligator’s rough black hide.
Ainsworth hugs her and calls her a hero.
“Girl power!” Ainsworth shouts as Harter climbs back in her truck.
The alligator lady, inspecting her freshly pedicured toenails for damage as she exchanges work shoes for the preferred flip-flops, just smiles.
June 11th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Ann Coulter is the perfect example of the American Christian. She apparently believes that Jesus was hateful, intolerant, violent and close-minded. I watched the clip from the Deutsch interview, and I think she really did not see why it would be offensive to tell a Jew that they needed to be “perfected”.
Her argument was that as a Christian, she considers herself to be a “perfected Jew”. She said it as if all Christians believe this, although I’ve never heard it before. She claims not to see why it’s offensive, and I think I believe her. That is to say, I think she knows that it’s offensive (how can anyone look at another and say, “I don’t mean this as an insult, but I think that you would be pefect if you thought like I do. Until then you’re imperfect”?), but she is so good at rationalizing that she starts spewing the “Christians think of themselves as perfected Jews” nonsense and in the process covince herself that it’s not offensive.
I would have been a lot less polite than Deutsch was on camera, and off camera I certainly would have told her off and then instructed the producers to never book her again.
June 11th, 2009 at 10:58 am
There may not be a legal responsibility for aiding and abetting but these highly paid hate mongers certainly bear a moral responsibility. I’d like to think that in their heart of hearts they know that is true…but then again I’m kind of a Pollyanna at heart.
June 11th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Brilliant. I feel like i’ve been trying to make the distinction between free speech and the borderline “hate speech” that has been circling the airwaves lately. It doesn’t just come from the media. It comes from the public too. It feeds on itself. Fox News wouldn’t share their hate it if they knew it wasn’t mirrored by the people who watch it. It wouldn’t make sense monetarily.
But as someone who is obsessed with Constitutional Law, you hit the nail on the head for me drawing the difference between Free Speech and Irresponsible Speech. Too often, people are allowed to spew lies and anger-inciting statements with no accountability. It has gone too far already and ultimately, someone is going to have to answer for it after it is too late.
Think about how our society reacted to the Jenny Jones incident? Regardless of your opinion on that matter, she became a pariah. Yet, Bill O’Reilly and Fox News are committing much worse of an atrocity on a daily basis by generating fear and hate toward the “thems”. There is clearly a degradation happening here. It’s incredibly sad.
June 11th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Ann Coulter is obnoxious and, really, I’m very surprised that she’s as popular as she is. She’s not that intelligent, once you take away her ideological veneer, and it’s quite clear that she’s a bigot.
June 11th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I read this today and thought that evryone could benefit from this little pearl of wisdom:
‘TIL WE MEET AGAIN…’
A Birth Certificate shows that we were born.
A Death Certificate shows that we died.
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly…….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Believe…
That just because two people argue, that doesn’t mean they don’t
love each other.
And just because they don’t argue, that doesn’t mean they do
love each other.
I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn’t give me the right to be CRUEL.
I Believe…
That we don’t have to change friends if we understand that
friends change.
I Believe…
That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe…..
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
I Believe…
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe…
That it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe…
That you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
I Believe…
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe…..
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe…
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe…
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe…
That my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.
I Believe…
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you When you’re down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe…
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had,
and what you’ve learned from them…..and less to do with how many
birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I Believe…
That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe…
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I Believe…
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.
I Believe…
Two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I Believe…
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don’t even know you.
I Believe…
That even when you think you have no more to give,
if a friend cries out to you……..you will find the strength to help.
I Believe…
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe…
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything.
HORRIBLE HOWIE
June 11th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Michelle,
I am very disappointed in you. I also believe that despite your efforts, that you are doing women a great disservice and that women in general would be better off without your championing their plights, whatever they may happen to be.
It is not difficult to spot a fanatic. Fanatics are to emotionally envolved and irrational to do thier causes any good, and generally do them more harm than good, they also make poor leaders. That my two cents. Take it for what it’s worth or not. Nothing personal, so please do not take it as such.
Al
June 11th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Zen Lill,
My download of Earth is finished, do I have the right one?
It has great flocks of birds and polar bears (not flocks) in the first three or four minutes. I have yet to put it on disc and watch it on TV, did give it a spot check, beautiful camera work, I am pretty sure this the one you meant, BBC. Thanks
Al uetta
June 11th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
It would seem that my man is still standing. One for God, two for the pits of hell.
June 11th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Michelle, we girlz at Sams want to thank you for your taking no prisoners in your defense of the treatment we women get every day from men and especially at work.
Some (not all) of the men here think they can sexually harass us because jobs are scarce and we need to support our families with these jobs.
About 7 months ago I was introduced to your blog by a co -worker. She said that you have been the lift in her skirt. Well, now you are mine.
Penny
June 11th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
George,
What the fuck are you talking about in comment #11. You make absolutely no sense whatsoever today, not that you ever did before.
Al