Is Your Mate An ‘Inmate’?
Posted by Michelle Moquin on September 3rd, 2009
While writing my blog yesterday on the Ponzi scheme, I briefly mentioned relationships that are created with inmates. A question had popped into my mind as to whether inmates had access to the internet. So I did a quick google during my write, and came across some very interesting websites.
I found a website , Prisoner Life, that helps connect people with inmates to create a pen pal relationship. It talked about how befriending a prisoner through writing letters, and the affect that receiving letters has on prisoners. I found out that loneliness is one of the greatest challenges they face each day.
And that Mail call may be the lowest point of their day, if one doesn’t receive a letter. Communication is essential in the rehabilitation process. Studies have shown that those inmates who have people on the outside taking an interest in them have a much lower recidivism rate then those who do not. Not surprisingly, women are rarely recidivist, but men have a high recidivism rate.
When I read this, I felt sad and compelled to start up a pen pal friendship with an inmate. Who knows if I ever will….it was just a fleeting thought. Is that crazy or what?
And just a little side note before I end this post. Here is a little didley that I found on the website:
At the end of 1996, 1,571 per 100,000 blacks in the U.S. were incarcerated; this compares to 193 per 100,000 whites incarcerated.
What does that tell you about our judicial system? What does it tell you about racism? Those numbers are over ten years old. I wonder what they would look like today.
Readers: I would love to hear from any of you that have started a relationship, either a plutonic friendship, love, whatever, with an inmate. What has your experience been like? Blog me. This is such an intriguing topic to me.
Zen Lill: It was good to catch up with you the other day too. How did the fashion show go?
Like you, prison pen pals have always blown me away too. Not because of the writing factor necessarily but because some create intimate relationships, fall in love, and some even get married, while the mate is still ‘in’…. ‘In prison’ that is. :) It is very intriguing to me.
Of course these days with internet dating, and even blogging, one can get to know someone very well through their writing, so it shouldn’t surprise us so much as to why. And when I think of how many people may actually be in prison that are innocent, it makes it less surprising that people will hook up and create a realtionship. Not to say that one can’t fall in love with a serial killer. Not my kind of life mate, but hey, there is evidently someone out there for everyone.
Helen: So maybe it wasn’t such a slow week and my peeps were trying to blog me. Sorry that you couldn’t, and thanks for trying.
Umei: You were obviously successful in posting your article – Thanks for the e-coli alert.
Got to run…Labor day weekend is almost here and I am so looking forward to 3 days of relaxation!
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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September 3rd, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Michelle, I really like your Post today. There are probably many different opinions about Convicts using the Internet to find a Companion. I would like to voice mine.
I believe that the Prison System is the most degrading inhumane place to put a Human Being, no matter what their transgression. I know that it is not supposed to be a Country Club, but it is a nightmare world of Predators and prey that turns many regular people into monsters just by living under those conditions for a number of years. The Prison system is responsible for turning many normal, caring Human Beings into psychopathic animals and then letting them back out with their newly learned talents to prey on civilization. Some can not tolerate returning to the ’Real World’ because they have become ‘Institutionalized’ and commit crimes to return back to prison life as soon as they are let free.
I do not have first-hand knowledge of Prison, thank God, but I have seen many documentaries and know a few people who have been through that horror.
Yes, Inmates do get access to the internet if they are not in solitary confinement and are not locked up in a 6 x 6 foot room for 23 hours a day. Some use the Internet to run gangs and Crime Organizations as well as put Hits on the people that had them locked up in the first place.
They also use computers to meet people. Pen-pals for the lonely or victims to prey on for money or a place to go to when released. Many of these people have been changed as I mention earlier and are top predators. They are very good at it. They can con other lonely or good-hearted people into doing things they can not accomplish on the ‘inside’. There may be a lower percentage of recidivism because of genuine relationships made on the internet, but again, many are just looking for patsies to prey on. Michelle, I know that you are not naive, but I advise caution because these are very charismatic pros who may be preying on a half dozen people at the same time — male and female. One can make you believe anything if they don’t have to look you in the eyes. They can portray themselves as the nicest victims you could have ever met. I believe that it is a crazy idea. Even you are not invulnerable to these schemes. Convicts have nothing better to do than sit and think about how to prey on outsiders. Please stick to saving the world. We need you here to run your blog.
This is an intriguing topic. But so is playing with fire for Children. This is just my personal opinion. It is not the only way to look at prisoner-outsider relationships.
HOWIE
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Good points, Howie. Most of the instutionalized inmates are very good at conning and manipulating people. Interesting subject, though.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Hi Zen Lill, I have been concerned about you. Hope you are OK. I have been insensitive lately and I am sorry. I know you are going through a difficult time and I would like to extend some friendship to you.
Just don’t start e-mailing to prisoners. It is not the answer to your difficulties. If and when you feel like talking, your blog friends are here to listen and offer our friendship. When you have people that care about you it makes things go a little easier — you are not alone. Some of us are genuinely nice people, like Alfonso or myself and of course, Michelle, our Host.
Keep busy, surround yourself with good friends and the worst of times will pass. We are thinking about you.
Your Blog Brother,
HOWIE
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Did you bother to look at that creepy website, Michelle?
I am horrified that inmates are looking for love while incarcerated for god knows what heinous crime they committed. It’s like the personals ads. I had to laugh when the one gal (pictured scantily clad) mentioned that she liked ” traveling, warm weather, kayaking, camping, dancing, romantic walks on the beach and fine dining for two.”… Yeah right!
Then there’s the one that mentions “I am open to all races but the gentleman I would like to correspond with must be between the age of 24-48″. Choosy are we?
Then of course there are the ones using the site as their own fundraising page… much like Scott Peterson is doing.
Are you REALLY thinking of starting a pen pal relationship, Mickelle, or were you digging deep for blog subjects today??
September 4th, 2009 at 12:13 am
Hi Howie, I was trying to find time today to write in and thank you for the perspective on this subject that I hadn’t thought about, that being the con man aspect. I’m not really naive bit I can be gullible, something my pals find perplexing given how smart they think I am : ) the truth is that I always assume people are telling the truth. Ha. But I’m learning.
Also, yes we are blogging friends and I truly appreciate your kind words yesterday and today. It’s nice to know someone cares bc no matter how Zen the Lilli is, this time in life is just plain harsh. I’ll be fine though. I keep breathing and putting one foot on front of the other and slam the shit out if a lit of tennis balls lately.
Mischa, interesting topic – I’ll pass even though there might be an innocent one, I’m sure a guilty one would still try to convince me if that. I’m intrigued by people who do pen pal with prisoners though, I always think they must nor be wrapped too tight otherwise why would they do that? Anyway, to each his/her own…
Fashion show was excellent, need 5 a month like that, in at noon, out by 4, and everybody’s happy. I’m in the hunt for more of same since I would rather have my Eves to myself for other purposes.
Till mañana, Zen Lill