Slavery Ended, But What Next? Black Genocide…Eugenics At Work
Posted by Michelle Moquin on July 15th, 2010
Good morning.
Before I begin my write…first some gratitude…
Doug: I waited to express my gratitude for you till today. Thank you for what you said. You of all people have been the most personally affected by the time I take to write my blog, more than anyone. I want to thank you for being patient with me and my time. I realize that my blog has been the baby of the family, and you sometimes have been treated, for lack of a better word, as the stepchild.
I appreciate the many times you have sat and waited for me to finish my write so that we could go to breakfast or take Lucy for a walk with you. I also appreciate your e-mails informing me of matters that I might not have been privy to, providing fodder for my blog. Thank you.
I am sure that my new consciousness and awareness of action and knowledge hasn’t always made me the most pleasurable person to live with. I have never really understood the full depth of the meaning, “Ignorance is blissful” until I made the decision to not be ignorant any more. It was much easier being ignorant but it so irresponsible.
Readers: Being the type of person I am, knowledge is powerful, but it is also challenging. Being in power has huge responsibilities. Hence the term RHIR: Rank Has Its Responsibilities. The actions that I take on, and the decisions that I make, like many of you, have a ripple effect. We must all be conscious of our actions, as well as be responsible for them and the ripple effect they may have on others and our world too.
Anyway…enough of that. Let’s get into the meat of it shall we?
I was given a documentary to watch a few weeks ago, which I did watch. And what I saw was the mother of all conspiracy theories that one could imagine. I don’t like the term “mother of all” but in this case I think it is apropos. As far as calling it a conspiracy theory…from all that I have learned about the white race, nothing surprises me and no alleged conspiracy theory seems to be far from the truth. There seems to be plenty of evidence to back this baby.
What I am going to talk about is Eugenics. I blogged briefly about Eugenics a few years ago. It is something that we haven’t really delved into too much here. I think it it about time we do. In case you are not familiar with Eugenics, this is the definition:
The science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics. Developed largely by Francis Galton as a method of improving the human race, it fell into disfavor only after the perversion of its doctrines by the Nazis.
This documentary is called Maafa 21. Maafa 21 is not only about Eugenics, but genocide. Black genocide is the focus, but really it is about genocide of all otws by White America.
Maafa 21 was released a little over a year ago:
In the few months since Maafa 21 has been released, there have been two showings of Maafa 21 to members of Congress, including members of the Black Caucus. Hundreds of copies of Maafa 21 were personally delivered to credentialed members of the NAACP at their recent conference. In addition, several showings of Maafa 21 have been conducted in theatres, churches, and community centers across the nation. There are plans to show Maafa 21 in various locations during Black History Month.
Maafa 21 will show you things the media has been hiding and politicians don’t want you to know. It shows the connection from slavery and eugenics to abortion and black genocide today and is routinely called “stunning,” “breathtaking,” and “jaw-dropping.”
I am quite surprised that I have not been informed of this earlier than now. Perhaps I would not be able to conceive that we as a society, or should I say white America, could be so conniving and cruel. But today, I think differently. As always I believe that timing is everything; perhaps, now is the perfect time.
Maafa 21
They were stolen from their homes, locked in chains and taken across an ocean. And for more than 200 years, their blood and sweat would help to build the richest and most powerful nation the world has ever known.
But when slavery ended, their welcome was over. America’s wealthy elite had decided it was time for them to disappear and they were not particular about how it might be done.
What you are about to see is that the plan these people set in motion 150 years ago.
Readers: Thoughts? I know there is going to be a lot to say about this trailer. If what you saw is shocking, and who wouldn’t think that the idea of black genocide through the surreptitious vehicle of Planned Parenthood (Margaret Sanger) is shocking, you’ll want to see the entire documentary, and judge for yourself if this is something that could actually be happening. I believe it is. I strongly urge you to find this documentary, buy it, and watch it.
Here’s something else that will be shocking. From what I have learned Germany was the test model for Eugenics. The holocaust was not about the Jews, per se, it was about killing all of the otws. From the very beginning white America was behind it. White America prodded the Germans into sterilizing every single person who was an otw; even the very young.
America entered the war because even though we were in support of what the Germans were doing (Eugenics was our baby! No Punn intended.), we were afraid that the Germans were getting too much power, and that they would take over our part of the control of the otws, and we Americans, couldn’t let that happen. We didn’t want to lose our control of the otws. And it is evident we still don’t.
Sound too insane? Too crazy? Have you heard of the book, “Trading with the Enemy”? You may just want to read it. (Funny when keyboarding the book title I mistakenly keyed in “sleeping”….guess there really is no difference.)
I’ll end with a quote that I found on the Daily Kos:
Trent Franks and the good old days …
Friday Feb 26, 2010 at 07:02:04 PM PDT
This takes the, you can’t make this shit up, to a whole new level — Trent Franks (R-AZ) on African Americans in today’s society:
“In this country, we had slavery for God knows how long. And now we look back on it and we say “How brave were they? What was the matter with them? You know, I can’t believe, you know, four million slaves. This is incredible.” And we’re right, we’re right. We should look back on that with criticism. It is a crushing mark on America’s soul. And yet today, half of all black children are aborted. Half of all black children are aborted. Far more of the African American community is being devastated by the policies of today than were being devastated by the policies of slavery. And I think, What does it take to get us to wake up?”
One has to wonder, as Franks’ curses the Thirteenth Amendment, what other aspects of the good old days does Franks’ pine for?
Good question and one that should be posed to more people than just ‘Franks’. So although he may be pining for the ‘good ‘ol days’ he may not realize how close to the truth he could be when he states that the polices of today are far more devastating than the days of slavery. But my caveat in order to agree with Franks…”If and only If black genocide through abortion is indeed the plan.” According to Maafa 21, obviously it is, and the devastation is designed to be far worse for otws than slavery. What could be worse than devastation by means of genocide, especially when designed so surreptitiously and conspiratorially?
It’s not Friday but I know you want to start flapping. Blog me.
PS. Sorry for the late post, I have been having difficulty not only posting, but posting what is actually written is not showing up. I hope that my entire write is clear and showing up for all of you.
Peace out….
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my ‘loyal’(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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July 15th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Interesting, disturbing…found a website that features the book ‘War Against the Weak’ by Edwin Black though the intro suggests to not read at all unless willing to read in its entirety, a bit of a commitment I cannot make at this time lah, in depth info there and again, its all disturbing. So, the documentary is a better idea, this is sickening info and even though not much surprises me anymore I must say that it troubles me what humans will do with other humans without giving it any humane thought or intent.
You’ve got it right, ignorance is bliss…(heavy sigh) too bad it’s not really an option…
- ZL
July 15th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
I can’t believe what I saw on that video. Blacks who see it must hate us or at the most distrust whites. It does prove that conspiracies can continue for decades.
Ralph
July 15th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
ANTIOXIDANT OVERDOSE — ARE YOU IN DANGER?
Is your body getting all the oxidants you need? Yes, you read that right… this is a bit of advice I bet you haven’t heard before: Our bodies actually require oxidants… and more and more evidence is piling up that overenthusiastic consumption of antioxidant supplements has serious consequences.
OXIDANTS & HEALTH
It turns out that good health requires hanging onto some oxidants — especially if you exercise regularly. While research had already demonstrated that exercise boosts the body’s level of a type of oxidant called reactive oxygen species (ROS), scientists initially thought it indicated a need for more antioxidants.
Researchers at the Cardiorespiratory Exercise Laboratory at Kansas State University (Manhattan) have now learned that some oxidants (hydrogen peroxide, for instance) act as vasodilators (expanding blood vessel walls) to increase delivery of oxygen to muscles –
getting rid of them with antioxidants impairs that process. The studies also revealed that a very high level of antioxidants interferes with the natural regulatory systems that help muscles to function properly.
Yet another study, this one done with mice at Monash University in Australia (Melbourne), found that oxidants can help hold back the onset of type 2 diabetes.
They help prevent insulin resistance, a hallmark of impending diabetes, by improving the body’s ability to respond appropriately to insulin signals.
The mice given antioxidants developed diabetes at higher rates than the control group even though their high-fat diets were otherwise the same.
And a third study, a very early one from Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute in Los Angeles, finds that high doses of antioxidant supplements may boost cancer risk. More research is needed on this preliminary finding, and it doesn’t pinpoint the level that may be dangerous, but even so it is yet more evidence that it’s possible to overdo antioxidant supplementation.
OXIDANTS FOR GOOD HEALTH
Oxidants definitely have health benefits. Daily Health News contributing medical editor Andrew L. Rubman, ND, told me about some of the important functions they help fulfill…
Oxidants help fight cancer. They weaken cell membranes to facilitate the natural destruction and turnover of tissue cells (apoptosis), including pre-cancerous tissue.
Oxidants are important to heart health. Blood vessels need oxidants for proper function — in fact, patients with heart disease are prescribed the oxidant nitric oxide (in the form of nitroglycerin), which relieves angina by expanding cardiac arteries.
Oxidants facilitate sexual satisfaction. When people are sexually aroused, oxidants expand appropriate blood vessels to allow for engorgement — it’s actually the mechanism responsible for making erectile dysfunction drugs work.
A MATTER OF BALANCE
It almost sounds as if oxidants are our new best friends, but Dr. Rubman stresses that balance between oxidants and antioxidants is what’s important — he describes it as “a dance between the two.”
The reality of the way most of us eat (lots of oxidants) combined with environmental challenges (such as pesticides, petrochemicals and plastics) means that most Americans are already skewed in the direction of oxidants, Dr. Rubman said.
The best way to achieve and maintain appropriate balance is to eat plenty of whole foods that provide your body not only with the nutrients it needs, but also the enzymes and cofactors that optimize their absorption. If you aren’t sure your diet accomplishes that, antioxidant supplements may then be in order.
How to tell? Blood tests aren’t a great measure, as they fluctuate day to day, and you can’t always tell by how you feel, either. Dr. Rubman said a far better measure is to consider how your body copes with challenges.
For instance, if you suffer from a mild seasonal allergy to pollen, high levels may bring congestion, but if you are “in balance” you should bounce back quickly without becoming stuffed-up and sick.
Similarly, you may notice that your gym workouts aren’t achieving the results you’d expect — you’re not building muscle commensurate with the effort you are exerting. These subtle signs may be clues your system is overloaded with antioxidants — if you suspect that you have this problem, get advice from a doctor trained in the nuances of nutrition. He/she can help figure out how to achieve the right balance.
Meanwhile, I imagine we’ll be hearing more on this important topic in months and years to come — I’ll provide updates as they arise.
Source(s):
Andrew L. Rubman, ND, medical director, Southbury Clinic for Traditional Medicines, Southbury, Connecticut. http://www.naturopath.org.
July 15th, 2010 at 11:54 pm
Hey guys stay tuned for a star to be from Guam.
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John F. Kennedy High School graduate Young Lee was cast in the upcoming reality show “K-Town”, which is being produced by actor Tyrese Gibson.
According to the show’s Web site, the reality show is an Asian twist to the popular show “Jersey Shore.”
Lee graduated from JFK in 2003 and was a long time resident of Tamuning. He then moved to the U.S. west coast to pursue a career in acting and dancing.
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We are hitting the airwaves.
Hafa Adai
Anna
July 15th, 2010 at 11:55 pm
So we thin a few niggers out. What”s the big deal?
July 15th, 2010 at 11:58 pm
George you are truly sick.
Hafa adai
What’s with the new submarine school starting on Guam. Are we expecting to need a lot more underwater exploration so soon?
Peter
July 16th, 2010 at 12:05 am
Michelle
I applaud your open house policy when it comes to allow others to vent here. But George is one sick puppy.
If anyone has an elderly parent or friend who will be visiting the hospital soon. This might of interest to them and the elderly like me.
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Going to the hospital — and going out of your mind
Nobody likes going to the hospital — but for a growing number of seniors, an ordinary trip to the ER can quickly degrade into a nightmarish journey to the edge of sanity.
And some people don’t make it back.
A recent report in the New York Times looked at the rise of delirium among hospitalized seniors — and how this frightening, hallucination-filled condition often goes misunderstood or even completely undetected.
It’s one more sad example of the quiet toll being taken by common meds every single day — because believe me, drugs are behind more of these cases than anyone will ever admit.
After all, even many “healthy” seniors are on more than a few meds in the best of times. But once they’re in the hurried care of hospital doctors who barely speak to one another, it becomes a pharmaceutical free-for-all.
The Times article notes that antihistamines, sleeping pills and antidepressants can all trigger the madness of delirium. Throw in the poor sleep, uncomfortable beds, depression due to being away from home and the anxiety that comes with any hospital stay, and you have a recipe for an earth-shattering mental meltdown that can include bizarre fantasies and violent behavior.
Some delirium patients have even been known to leap from bed, tear out the IV tubes and attempt to flee the hospital.
The American Geriatrics Society says up to a third of all patients over the age of 70 suffer from delirium when they’re hospitalized — and that might even be a conservative estimate.
“We would have to build 100 more floors to keep everybody until they cleared their delirium,” Dr. Julie Moran, a geriatrician at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, told the Times. “There are times when we could be working round the clock seeing patients with delirium.”
But Dr. Moran is rare — because she actually recognizes the problem. One study published last year found that doctors miss the condition 76 percent of the time. In most cases, the doctors think their patients are simply confused, agitated or just misbehaving.
I wonder how many of them simply order more drugs or higher doses — making the delirium even worse.
Despite its name, delirium is no laughing matter. Delirious patients spend an average of six more days in the hospital, and are five times more likely to be put into a nursing home than other patients, according to the Times.
Delirious patients are also more likely to suffer from dementia later. Ten percent of them die within a month of their hospitalization, and up to 40 percent of them die within a year — making it more dangerous than a fall.
It’s one more reason to be vigilant anytime you enter the hospital, especially when it comes to meds — and to make sure you have someone on your side who can ask the questions, and act on your behalf, when you can’t do so yourself.
The time to plan for that is now, while you’re still healthy and at home. Otherwise, your next trip to the hospital could become a journey into hell.
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Please bring some one intelligent and not afraid to confront know-it-all doctors.
Ruth
July 16th, 2010 at 12:09 am
Just so you know that we are serious when I said we are taking the star route.
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Movie magic: Guam son appears in ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’
BY ERIN THOMPSON • PACIFIC DAILY NEWS • JULY 16, 2010
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Gregory Woo has always wanted to come back to the island where he was born. But, as a struggling actor, working to make ends meet in the rough-and-tumble New York acting scene, the 27-year-old son of a Chamorro mother and Chinese father simply couldn’t make it back to Guam.
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Guys I would have entered this in tomorrow’s blog. But lately I haven’t been able to get in so while it’s hot, here it is.
Hafa Adai
Anna
July 16th, 2010 at 6:56 am
Subject: Take two aspirin…
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
These excerpts are published each year for their amusement.
Here are last year’s winners…
.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,as if
she were a garbage truck backing up.
July 16th, 2010 at 6:59 am
Thanks Michelle for your blog and your interests in publishing all the facts. Knowledge is power, so I hope that knowing about the plans of those who practice this from of hatred and who they are will help us black Americans to defend ourselves.
Evelyn
July 16th, 2010 at 7:01 am
It seems that America could spend some time using their army to fight the evil in their own country.
July 16th, 2010 at 7:05 am
Michelle
Whites from your country are always coming here to Kenya to practice their evil. They interfere in our internal politics. Some of your US Senators come and offer assistance provided we accept their abortion advice from this Planned Parent Hood.
Maleda
July 16th, 2010 at 7:06 am
Michelle, It seems that you would do better helping your blacks out than inciting our women against Islam.
July 16th, 2010 at 7:12 am
Qalat, Greetings
The US Senators are in my country offering aid and their evil brand of religion. It was they who influenced our legislature to pass those draconian laws against gays. They are working hard practicing their brand of eugenics on as many countries in Africa as they can.
The plan is to get us to kill each other off any way they can. They are determined to thin us out by whatever method they can devise.
Thanks for making their plot known to the world.
Dunia
July 16th, 2010 at 7:17 am
Abdul, Michelle does not “incite” muslim women against Islam. Sick men who use the religion to compel muslim women to be their sex slaves and second class citizens are who “incite” muslim women to rebel against Islam.
Here in Iran the men expect the women to fight side by side with them against the oppressive and tyrannical regime that we presently have. What will we get if we help them overthrow this regime. We will get to continue practicing a cult religion that forces us to be subservient to our men.
Refuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bahar
July 16th, 2010 at 7:23 am
Michelle
Even here in Rwanda we fill the evil of the american eugenics. They do it by encouraging hatred among our different ethnic tribes. Then they sell us guns to carry out our hatreds. The result is genocide practiced on a horrible scale.
Thank you for this blog article. It will help to legitimize the concerns some of us have been voicing for years. White senators from your country don’t always have the best interest of Africa in mind when they come bearing gifts.
Nyota
July 16th, 2010 at 7:25 am
I live in America now. I am from India. We were told by many whites in your state department when we came to your country 11 years ago to remember that we are considered white.
I am a very dark Indian woman so I asked why this is important. I was told that no one will hire me if they think I am black.
Bina
July 16th, 2010 at 7:30 am
Although we applaud your country men electing Mr. Obama President of the USA. We are often told by white visitors from your country that we have a better chance of getting a cab in New York or any major city in our country that President Obama would if it were not known that he was your President.
I have often wondered why they felt the need to tell us that. Now, I feel I understand.
July 16th, 2010 at 7:36 am
Congratulations on your third year with your blog Michelle. I feel privileged to be a part of your great endeavor to awaken the world to its potential.
Thank you Bahar for explaining to Abdul and the rest of the men who practiced Islam because it gives them the right to dictate to their women and to enslave them.
Allah would have nothing to do with a religion that allows men to practice as pedophiles in his name. You are not our masters. God did not appoint you our masters. No manner of mental gymnastics will get intelligent women to buy your lies.
I, too repudiate islam. It is a cult devised by men for their sexual pleasure.
Ahoo
July 16th, 2010 at 7:39 am
Michelle, I missed congratulating you on your big day. But know that We here in Alabama are your Girlzs. Thanks for making our days in so many ways.
Tina
July 16th, 2010 at 7:46 am
Michelle, I am often suspect of America’s intentions here in Israel. It often seems that the effort of the Americans is to foment dissent among us and our arab neighbors. Could this be another form of eugenics practiced upon the arabs?
It has only been since the election of Obama that I and many others here have started to believe that real peace can begin. Yet, we have members of the Cabinet here who do not want peace. They fight your President and Mrs. Clinton’s every effort to bring peace to both parties.
Please continue to work to enlighten us. Maybe the world will change.
You have Girlz here in Israel also.
Alea
July 16th, 2010 at 8:03 am
Thank you Michelle for posting this. Most white anchors or pundits in America’s well controlled media refuse to call racism what it is when practiced by their country men.
When is the last time anyone has heard one of the say that is just plain racists? Never! Most of the time they look for some other reason one of their bigoted brethren is doing what he is doing.
An all white jury takes very little time to let the white cop off who point blank shot a black man in the back while he was handcuffed at a BART station in Oakland,CA.
Not one pundit or anchor suggest there man have been some racial bias going on. But with OJ, the first think out of their mouths was possible racial bias.
OJ was tried on circumstantial evidence and planted blood by white cops, but a jury finding him “not guilty” was suspect of racial intentions.
Yet a white man seen all over every form of media available murdering a black is let off by an all white jury and there is no suspect of possible bias by white people.
Robert
July 16th, 2010 at 8:11 am
Michelle
I am white but I too find it insensitive for my race to openly pine for “the good ole days.” in the presence of OTWs. Why would any OTW want to go back to the time when white men could do anything to OTWs because the law allowed them to?
Carrie
July 16th, 2010 at 8:16 am
Some whites delight in reminding OTWs that they could abuse them legally in the past. The “good old days” is a favorite of most racists and secret bigots who don’t have the guts to tell an otw that he feels he is better that he because of the color of his skin.
Sonya
July 16th, 2010 at 8:20 am
Michelle, I am new to your blog. What does otw (OTWs) mean?
July 16th, 2010 at 8:20 am
So the white devil has been called out. Allah will smite them from our country as surly as He is Great!
Safa
July 16th, 2010 at 8:31 am
It would seem that white america has no problem keeping conspiratory secrets from their minorities. From the Tuskegee experiments, to the murdering of whole communities of blacks and now this.
Why should we muslims trust them to want peace in the Middle East. It is not a stretch to imagine them practicing another form of their eugenics upon arabs to further thin our the continent for their races personal use.
Qahir
July 16th, 2010 at 8:32 am
The world eyes have been opened. What will we do about it
July 16th, 2010 at 8:34 am
Kelly
OTW – means Other Than White —–
July 16th, 2010 at 8:50 am
One day I was walking out
And crossing o’er the plain,
I suddenly beheld, oh, dear!
A very handsome swain.
And while I stopped to look about
And view his manly grace,
A certain member he pulled out;
He did—-before my face!
Transfixed was I unto the spot,
Of that you may be sure,
For such a curious instrument
I never saw before.
And while I stared, with widened eyes,
Into my hand’s embrace.
He put his stout and throbbing prize;
He did—before my face!
Now, on the grass where daisies spread
To deck the spot around,
He clasped me gently in his arms
And laid me on the ground
Then off his buckskins he did pull
And strip us both apace.
I saw his apples dangle full
Before my very face.
Transported with our mutual joys,
In a lover’s knot we lay.
But, sure, he was no hypocrite,
No author of disgrace–
Nothing he did behind my back
But all before my face!
July 16th, 2010 at 9:04 am
Getting Back to Life After the Death of a Spouse
Phyllis Kosminsky, PhD
Center for Hope
The death of a spouse is among the greatest sources of grief. We not only lose the person who may be closest to us, we lose the person who most likely helped us function in the world and on whom we depended to help us through life’s traumas. The loss of a spouse might leave us feeling more alone and helpless than we ever have felt before.
MIXED EMOTIONS
Naturally there are feelings of sadness, but surviving spouses have other feelings as well…
A sense of unreality. In the weeks after a spouse’s death, it is hard to accept the fact that the person with whom we have shared our life is gone.
Many surviving spouses catch themselves momentarily forgetting that their partner has died. It might cross their minds to call the spouse to say they are going to be late… or to buy his/her favorite food at the market.
Difficulty concentrating. It is common for surviving spouses to experience a sense of disorganization and difficulty concentrating in the weeks or months after the death. They might feel lethargic and uninterested in going out or doing anything at all.
Anger. Surviving spouses sometimes are surprised to discover they feel angry, even, at the departed spouse for dying.
Relief. In some cases, a spouse’s death brings feelings of relief, particularly if the spouse who passed away had been suffering or had come to require huge amounts of care.
Guilt. When surviving spouses feel anger or relief, they often feel guilty about these feelings. Some surviving spouses also feel guilty because they imagine that they could have treated their partner better during the marriage.
GRIEVING
Some books about loss discuss the grieving process as if one stage of grief leads predictably to the next. In reality, grief does not always progress according to a preset pattern. Some surviving spouses find that life begins to return to normal within a few months, while for others, it takes years. The grieving process tends to take a long time when…
Each spouse had a clearly defined role in the marriage, and the surviving spouse must develop new skills to perform the tasks that the departed partner once handled.
The spouse’s death involved extended or significant suffering. Seeing a spouse in agony can cause posttraumatic stress. Professional counseling can help surviving spouses cope with this.
The death is sudden or unexpected. In this situation, the surviving spouse must come to terms with the loss of a partner as well as the shattering of illusions that the world is safe.
There is no “correct” amount of time to grieve the death of a spouse. Grief usually eases as time passes. You feel more hopeful and more like yourself six months after the death than you did three months after… and even better three months after that. (Of course, there will be good days and bad days throughout.) If this is not the case, it might be time to seek counseling.
COPING
There is no way to avoid the grief you will feel following the loss of your spouse — it would not even be healthy to try to avoid it. There are, however, some ways to keep the grieving process moving in the right direction…
Acknowledge the range of your feelings. Some widows and widowers try to ignore any emotions they feel after their spouses’ deaths, aside from grief and sadness.
They think it isn’t reasonable to feel anger, relief or guilt. If you deny yourself the right to experience these emotions, you will find it difficult to deal with your grief as well.
Example: A woman was mired in grief five years after the death of her husband. She was unwilling to admit to herself that she was angry with him for being financially irresponsible. Only when she came to terms with this anger was she able to move beyond her grief.
Put your feelings into words. Talking about loss can help you cope. Speak with a friend or a counselor — or join a bereavement support group. A hospital, hospice or religious organization often can help you find a group in your area.
If you prefer not to share your feelings verbally, write them in a journal or in an unsent letter to the departed spouse.
Remain connected with friends. It is normal to want privacy following the death of a spouse — but don’t remain isolated longer than you must. As soon as you feel you could manage to go out and spend time with friends, do so —
do not wait until you actually want to go out. Spending time with other people gives you an opportunity to focus on something other than your loss, reducing the odds that you will be pulled into the downward spiral of depression.
If you do not feel ready to resume close relationships, pick activities that let you interact with other people but that keep the chitchat to a minimum, such as playing tennis or going to a movie.
Balance activity and free time. Exercise, join clubs, do volunteer work or engage in other activities that get you out of the house and get your mind off your loss as soon as you feel able to do so.
Do not become so busy that you have no free time to reflect, however. Try to find at least a few minutes of unscheduled time each day when you can relax, either at home or outside taking a walk.
Get enough sleep. Schedule enough sleep time that you wake feeling rested. That might mean more than eight hours a night at first. If you’re having trouble sleeping, talk with your doctor. Sleep deprivation makes any kind of emotional healing that much more difficult.
Give yourself what your spouse would have given you. Surviving spouses sometimes feel cheated out of long-planned vacations and promised gifts when their partners pass away. Giving these gifts to yourself can help you overcome these emotions. Example: Take that long-planned trip to Europe with a close friend.
Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Phyllis Kosminsky, PhD, a clinical social worker specializing in grief, loss and trauma at the Darien, Connecticut-based Center for Hope/Family Centers, a nonprofit organization. She also is in private practice in Pleasantville, New York, and Norwalk, Connecticut. She is author of Getting Back to Life When Grief Won’t Heal (McGraw-Hill). http://www.familycenters.org.
July 16th, 2010 at 9:10 am
Michelle
I voted already, so what’s up?
July 16th, 2010 at 9:34 am
Michelle
I do not wish to take away from the seriousness of today’s topic. But I must say this.
I would like to commend you on you opening monologue to you husband, Doug. It was touching. It reminded me of why I miss my dear departed wife so much. She was thoughtful and always aware of us as a unit. I see you have the same qualities.
God bless you. I’m certain Doug appreciates his good fortune of having you as a life partner.
Harold
July 16th, 2010 at 10:29 am
[...] George: Why is it that if you were on the thinning out end you would think differently. I know that I can’t change you; your evil is innate. Turn the tables and I suspect you would be groveling to save your life, and your ’screw everyone who isn’t white’ attitude would diminish instantly in your fear. A gutless wonder at best. [...]
July 17th, 2010 at 10:47 am
[...] Guill: A very quirky poem. I like it. [...]