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Archive for the 'Love, Sex & Relationships' Category

Mich-ogyny

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 14th December 2013

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Good morning!

This one is for Doug…who posted a link to an article that talked about this sick action taken by an overwhelmingly male Michigan legislature that would ban insurers from offering basic health plans that would include coverage for abortion. But, in all of the many comments coming in the past few days, I neglected to make a comment. However, today I wanted to address this as well since it has to do with us girls, and is worth the repeat.

From The Raw Story

Mich-ogyny

shutterstock_55866400

The overwhelmingly male Michigan legislature yesterday passed a bill that would ban insurers from offering basic health plans that would include coverage for abortion, telling women that, if they want to kill their babies for the “purpose of sexual convenience” or because they don’t understand that rape culture is more about guys getting together  to watch the game over a few beers than, you know, viciously assaulting women because the bitch actually ‘wanted the D’, well, you ladies are going to have to pony up for some separate rape insurance because we already paid for dinner and drinks:

Michigan lawmakers passed a controversial measure on Wednesday that will ban all insurance plans in the state from covering abortion unless the woman’s life is in danger. The law, which takes effect in March, will force women and employers to purchase a separate abortion rider if they would like the procedure covered, even in cases of rape and incest.

Supporters of the “Abortion Insurance Opt-Out Act” argue that it allows people who are opposed to abortion to avoid paying into a plan that covers it. Opponents have nicknamed it the “rape insurance” initiative, because it would force some women to anticipate the possibility of being raped by purchasing the extra abortion insurance ahead of time.

*S*I*C*K*O*S*

Happy Saturday Everyone!

I am off to celebrate the Holiday season and Champagne is the drink of this beautiful day. I HOPE yours is just as good.

Blog me.

Peace & Love. 

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

Or if you would like to send a check via snail mail, please make checks payable to “Michelle Moquin”, and send to:

Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129

Thank you for your loyal support!

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

Posted in Health & Well Being, Human Rights and Equality, Love, Sex & Relationships, Political Powwow | 92 Comments »

Hump Day Humor

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 4th December 2013

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Good morning!

In honor of hump day, here’s a little humor to get your morning going.

 

Porn vs. Real Sex

******

Blog me. :)

Peace & Love

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

Or if you would like to send a check via snail mail, please make checks payable to “Michelle Moquin”, and send to:

Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129

Thank you for your loyal support!

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

Posted in I'll drink to that! Let's eat!, Love, Sex & Relationships, Uncategorized | 22 Comments »

Being Grateful Today…And EVERYDAY Throughout The Years

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 28th November 2013

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Good morning!

Over the years here, there has been much talk about the origin of Thanksgiving. And surrounding that has been discussions about our feelings over this particular “holiday,” while revealing the truth about what really happened between the Pilgrims and the American Indians.

As much as I am well aware of how Thanksgiving came about, the story not warm and fuzzy like the one we were told growing up, by celebrating, it does not mean that I lessen the truth or try to bury the horrific acts of violence that the native American Indians had to endure.

I celebrate “togetherness” by being able to share some time with friends and family, and give thanks for all that I have. And remember that some families never had that opportunity. I also remember that no matter how tough or challenging life can be sometimes, there is always someone who has struggles that are far more challenging, and as kind human beings it is up to us to reach out and be there in support to those who need it most.

I feel grateful that I can take this time today to be with my family and friends, when I know that there are those who would love to be with theirs, and who can’t.

And since I am a girl who blogs bringing to light the cruelty and unfairness of others, so that they have a voice, the least that I can do on Thanksgiving Day while I am with my family, is address those that are so greedy for the buck, that they would make their employees work on a day that they should be with their families celebrating “togetherness” and all that they have to be grateful for.  

From Think Progress:

Walmart Is The Latest Company To Ruin Workers’ Thanksgivings

Walmart has announced it will open its stores at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving, joining retailers like Target, Best Buy, Kmart, Macy’s, Kohl’s, J.C. Penney, and Toys R Us that are cutting their workforce’s holiday short to pursue holiday season profits. Kmart will open its doors the earliest of all the stores, opening at 6 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day.
“Almost everybody to date has moved up, at least one hour, if not more,” Walmart Chief Marketing Officer Duncan Mac Naughton said Monday. “We thought 6 o’clock was the exact right time to win the weekend.” He explained that the 1 million workers needed to staff stores are “really excited to work that day.”
Last year, Walmart faced protests and strikes for creeping into holiday hours. The 8 p.m. start time prompted an online petition that collected more than 30,000 signatures.As consolation, the retailer said it will pay workers higher holiday wages, give them one 25 percent discount on a transaction, and give them a free meal.
What Walmart did not explain in its announcement is that 1 million workers have little choice but to work. Retailers have insisted they will afford time off to any worker who want to spend time with their families. However, far from being “excited” to work the holiday rush, it’s more likely managers have flatly told staff they cannot request the time off. The Huffington Post has reported on several signs popping up in Kmart stores that tell employees to not even bother requesting time off. (Kmart replied those were “rogue” signs.)
And the workers who volunteer to show up on a holiday may be doing so because they can’t otherwise get enough hours. More than 8 million people are currently working part time but want to be full time. Erratic scheduling is not only an issue that hits Walmart around the frantic holiday season; it’s long been accused of understaffing and constantly changing schedules, and retail in general has become known for shortchanging workers on the hours they need. Furthermore, Walmart’s aggressive use of a temporary work force throughout the year already leaves workers without benefits, predictable scheduling, and enough pay. Even when retail workers are full-time, they struggle to survive on low wages and are not necessarily guaranteed vacation time.
*****

Readers: On the one hand, I HOPE that no one visits Walmart to show them how inconsiderate they are toward their employees by making them work today. And on the other hand, I know what it is like to be working in a place where there is no one visiting and all you want to do is leave. So a part of me is wanting the store to flood with people telling the workers that they are so grateful for the service and holiday spirit, so that the workers can have as much of a positive and joyful experience as they can while they are working. But…that they don’t buy anything in support of Walmart being open today!! We don’t want Walmart to benefit and do it again next year, right?

Whatever you do on this day and however you view this day, I HOPE that it brings you peace &  joy & Love, and reminds you of how much we all have to be grateful for, today and…EVERYDAY throughout the years. And that you have such an abundance of  all of this, that you spread it where ever you go, and to whomever you meet.

Before I sign off, I want to say once again, that I am so grateful for all of you being here through the years with me on this journey. There are days where I don’t think I can post another article that angers me to tears. And then I experience the gratitude that I feel from the conversations and comments…and I am moved to tears in ways that I didn’t expect.

And when I stop,  I realize that I am so grateful for your presence…you…my extended family. Thank you for taking your time to be here with me.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! PEACE & LOVE.

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

Or if you would like to send a check via snail mail, please make checks payable to “Michelle Moquin”, and send to:

Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129

Thank you for your loyal support!

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

Posted in Health & Well Being, Love, Sex & Relationships | 43 Comments »

Just Noticing: Observations Of A Blogger

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 24th November 2013


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Good morning!

“Just noticing…”

Oklahoma Drops National Guard Benefits For All Couples To Avoid Serving Same-Sex Couples [UPDATED]

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin (R) announced earlier this month that state-owned National Guard facilities will no longer allow any married couples to apply for spousal benefits, regardless of whether they are same-sex or opposite-sex. The Supreme Court’s decision overturning the Defense of Marriage Act means that servicemembers with same-sex spouses are now eligible for federal benefits. Fallin’s unusual tactic is designed to avoid having to recognize those couples, which she asserts would violate Oklahoma’s constitutional amendment limiting marriage to one man and one woman:
FALLIN: Oklahoma law is clear. The state of Oklahoma does not recognize same-sex marriages, nor does it confer marriage benefits to same-sex couples.The decision reached today allows the National Guard to obey Oklahoma law without violating federal rules or policies. It protects the integrity of our state constitution and sends a message to the federal government that they cannot simply ignore our laws or the will of the people.
This decision directly contradicts an order from Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel ordering states to provide same-sex couples with the federal benefits they deserve under the law. All married couples will now have to travel to one of the five federal facilities in Oklahoma to apply for benefits. Incidentally, the state’s facilities were built almost entirely with federal funds and 90 percent of the Oklahoma Military Department — which includes the National Guard — is funded by the federal government.
Fallin’s tactic mirrors other attempts to punish an entire group to avoid serving the gay community. When marriage equality came to the District of Columbia, Catholic Charities decided to stop offering partner benefits to all employees to avoid having to provide them to any employee’s same-sex spouse. In various states, Catholic Charities has also abandoned all adoption services to avoid having to provide them to same-sex couples.
Schools have also employed this strategy to try to block gay-straight alliances from forming. In 2011, for example, Flour Bluff Independent School District in Corpus Christi, Texas considered banning all extracurricular clubs to avoid allowing a GSA to form.
Oklahoma is not alone in defying Hagel’s orders. The Texas Military Force acknowledged this week that it will not allow same-sex couples to apply for a housing allowance at state-run National Guard facilities, having already turned away at least one couple. Mississippi, Louisiana, and Georgia have also refused to comply, but some states that previously had balked have begun complying, like West Virginia. A total of 29 states have constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriage, but most are complying with the federal recognition for purposes of the National Guard.
Some states are also struggling in other ways with how to handle the federal government’s recognition of same-sex couples in the wake of DOMA. Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon (D)announced last week that same-sex couples could file their state taxes jointly, even though they won’t be eligible for state tax benefits. This has prompted one Missouri state lawmaker, Rep. Nick Marshall (R), to pursue impeachment proceedings against Nixon. Meanwhile, Virginia is among the states that have ordered same-sex couples to file their taxes separately.
UPDATE
Because all of Oklahoma’s National Guard ID-printing machines are now in place and operating on federal properties, the state is technically considered to be in compliance with federal directives. Married couples can only apply for benefits at those federal facilities, and not at any of the state-owned facilities.
UPDATE
Gov. Fallin has tried to distance herself from this story, using social media to say, “To set the record straight – no National Guardsman in Oklahoma is being denied marriage benefits. Stories that suggest otherwise are false.” This is technically true, but those benefits can now only be obtained at federal facilities in Oklahoma, which could require couples to drive extended distances even when there are are state facilities closer by.

*****

Readers: Typical republican. What is the difference between what Fallin is doing as Governor of Oklahoma, and her repub cronies who are trying to make sure Obama fails as a president at the expense of the entire country?

Zen Lill: I would love to talk to you but I won’t be able to today.  I’ll check in with you later. I HOPE the showing of your home is going well!

Becca: Thank you. I’m looking forward to seeing the entire documentary.

Stanz: That is horrible. I am glad you were there for your sister. The best thing to happen for this perp is not death, but more prison time. He should not be paroled in 2014, and if he is indeed a serial rapist – HOPEfully more women will come out to testify against him. If so, he deserves to be left in prison and live daily with what he has done to women, have done to him. Payback is a bitch.

Francine: Thanks for posting the additional write.

Rona, Herba, Ele: I had never heard of Alison Botha. And now after reading what I assume is a segment from her book, I will never forget her. I googled her after reading the post and what I read was even more horrific in detail. It is hard to imagine how one can survive such sick brutality. She is one brave girl.

Rona, so sorry you had to endure rape at the hands of your father. I HOPE you are working your way through that.

Sharia: And that is a fine example of women supporting women. NOT. (sigh) It infuriates me too.

Kelly: It is sickening. And more sickening when our society lets perps like these off easy. It tells the male species that what they are doing is not that bad…and hey if you get caught, your punishment won’t be that bad either. Or when society makes excuses for the perps…or worse blames the woman as we have seen so many times. Men do it enough to us –  do we need women, such as the comment made by Sharia above, to do the same thing to other women?

What is wrong with these women?

If women can’t put themselves in each others shoes, how can we expect men to? We can’t and I am not relying on the majority of men to do something. We would be waiting until the end of time.  If we are going to eliminate rape culture, women have to stick together and do something for each other. What is it going to take?

Marianne: In my opinion, a woman doing that to her own daughter is worse than the father raping her. Unfortunately, Men rape. Unfortunately there are more men who would rape their daughters if they legally could. I am not giving them an excuse simply because they are male. It is just a horrific fact. But a mother choosing to side with a rapist/husband and disowning her own daughter in order to be with the man regardless of whether he is her husband or not, is simply as low and sickening as you can go.

Peace & Love…sending it to all the women who have had to endure any type of abuse. And…HOPEing to encourage women to bring peace and love to each other through unwavering support. 

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

If you love my blog and my writes, please make a donation via PayPal, credit card, or e-check, please click the “Donate” button below. (Please only donations from those readers within the United States. – International readers please see my “Donate” page)

Or if you would like to send a check via snail mail, please make checks payable to “Michelle Moquin”, and send to:

Michelle Moquin PO Box 29235 San Francisco, Ca. 94129

Thank you for your loyal support!

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008-2012

“Though she be but little, she be fierce.” – William Shakespeare Midsummer Night’s Dream 

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

Posted in Health & Well Being, Human Rights and Equality, Just noticing: Observations of a blogger, Love, Sex & Relationships | 30 Comments »

Flap Your Lips Friday

Posted by Michelle Moquin on 15th November 2013


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Good morning!

Being in the fashion industry, this write caught my eye. However in my opinion it is just too silly. But I decided to post it anyway.

From Think Progress:

What The Company Marketing ‘Anti-Rape Underwear’ Gets Wrong About Rape

anti-rape underwear

A company named AR Wear is making waves by marketing “a clothing line offering wearable protection for when things go wrong.” The line includes several different types of underwear and shorts that are intended to be difficult for a sexual predator to remove, and the founders explain that could help women feel safer when they’re “going out on a blind date, taking an evening run, ‘clubbing,’ traveling in unfamiliar countries, and any other activity that might make one anxious about the possibility of an assault.” AR Wear has currently raised about half of its $50,000 fundraising goal on the crowdfunding site IndieGoGo.

It’s fairly clear that AR Wear’s founders have the best of intentions. In apress release about the crowdfunding campaign, they explain that they want to help women reclaim control over what happens to their bodies. And on their IndieGoGo site, they note that as long as sexual predators are still out there, it’s important to protect women from them.

Nonetheless, their effort has been widely criticized, derided as a new type of chastity belt for the “modern rape victim.” That’s not because people are opposed to preventing rape, of course — it’s because AR Wear seems to be missing a few crucial points about the reality of sexual assault. Here’s what the campaign gets wrong:

1. Rape isn’t an accident.

From the onset, the tagline of AR Wear’s campaign signals that this isn’t exactly the right framing for effectively tackling sexual assault. Marketing anti-rape underwear “for when things go wrong” suggests that sexual assault is an accident, or simply a night of partying gone sour. It subtly frames the incident in terms of the victim’s bad luck rather than in terms of the perpetrator’s decision to rape. In fact, sexual assault isn’t a slip-up; it’s a crime that a rapist has consciously committed.

“A woman or girl who is wearing one of our garments will be sending a clear message to her would-be assailant that she is NOT consenting. We believe that this undeniable message can help to prevent a significant number of rapes,” AR Wear notes. That’s not exactly right, either. Extensive research has shown that the people who commit rape aren’t simply confused about whether or not their victim consented. Rapists typically carefully select their victims and use a variety of tactics to manipulate them in order to accomplish their goal of sexual assault. In fact, especially when it comes to date rape, it’s often the victims who are confused about what constitutes consent, and that’s how the rapist gets away with it.

2. Rape doesn’t typically occur among strangers whom women encounter at clubs.

AR Wear’s product totally obscures the reality of date rape or intimate partner violence — which actually comprises the majority of sexual violence in this country. Of course, some women are the victims of random violent crimes. But most women aren’t raped by strangers who accost them while they’re jogging or out dancing. According to RAINN,nearly 75 percent of rape victims are assaulted by someone they know. Anti-rape underwear doesn’t seem so helpful for the women who grow to trust a partner before he ends up raping them.

AR Wear’s IndieGoGo campaign notes that the “work of changing society’s rape culture” still needs to move forward — but the myth that date rape is some kind of lesser version of sexual assault, or that it’s somehow less serious or less violent than stranger rape, actually contributes to unhealthy societal assumptions about sexual crimes.

3. White, pretty girls aren’t the only ones at risk of sexual assault.

AR Wear’s campaign doesn’t explicitly address race. But the founders of the clothing line still sent some clear messages about the type of women who need to be protected from the strangers lurking in the bushes waiting to rape them. Although there are a few stock photos of women of color at the beginning of the video, the vast majority of the women who appear — and every single woman who actually speaks — is a slim, pretty white woman. They all fit mainstream society’s conventional standards about what is considered to be beautiful and desirable.

Watch it:

That’s a subtle dynamic, but it furthers a dangerous myth about rape: The idea that it’s about sexual desire. In fact, rape doesn’t happen because men are wildly attracted to beautiful women, even though that’s been society’s longstanding approach to female sexuality. Rape is about power and entitlement. That’s why teaching women to cover upisn’t actually an effective rape prevention strategy.

Purity and whiteness have also typically been linked in our culture. Society has a troubled relationship with black women’s sexuality, and tends to portray women of color as inherently promiscuous. That ultimately means they’re assumed to be at less risk for sexual assault. Our deeply-ingrained rape culture typically eschews the idea thatpromiscuous women can be raped — since they must have “asked for it.”

4. It’s misleading to suggest there are simple steps women can take to guarantee they won’t be raped.

AR Wear’s founders acknowledge that their new line of underwear won’t put an end to all sexual assaults. “No product alone can solve the problem of violence against women,” they note. But putting forth this type of product in the first place suggests that there are small steps every woman can take to mitigate her risks. It’s understandable that many people are eager to help women feel safer. That’s arguably why so many well-intentioned public figures continue to tell women to drink less, hoping that advice will help protect them.

But every time we tell women that they should take another precaution to keep themselves safe — wear more clothing, stop drinking as much alcohol, watch their drink carefully, and don some anti-rape underwear — we’re furthering the fundamental premise upon which rape culture rests. As Slate’s Amanda Hess notes, “Rape is a societal problem, not a self-help issue.” Even if women follow all the instructions that are given to them, that still won’t necessarily prevent them — or other women — from being victimized. It will simply end up laying the blame at their feet if they do fall victim to a sexual crime, since they’ll wonder what more they could have done to protect themselves.

5. We already know about some very effective strategies to prevent rape; we’re just not implementing them.

Of course, this isn’t to say we’re all powerless in the face of the global sexual assault epidemic. There are very real ways to tackle rape culture. Sexual assault prevention advocates believe that it starts withcomprehensive sex education, to help educate kids about how to recognize when someone is violating their consent. And when kids age, the education campaigns should continue. College activists are attempting to implement more bystander intervention programs to teach students how to get involved when they see something that might turn into a sexual assault. Strong criminal justice policies that make it easier for victims to report crimes, and that actually hold the perpetrators accountable for those crimes, are another important area ripe for policy change.

It’s easier to develop products like anti-rape underwear than it is to take on the actual roots of rape culture. It’s easier to raise awareness about sexual assault than it is to actually implement the right policies to prevent it. It’s easy to have good intentions. But it’s also largely unhelpful when it comes to advancing the real goal of creating a world that’s safe for women.

*S*I*L*L*Y*W*I*L*L*Y*

Readers:  How silly is this? What’s next – Pedophile pants?! I can see the news now…”Well…She asked for it. She should’ve been wearing anti-rape underwear and this wouldn’t have ever happened.” Once again the onus is on the woman. And the blame. Ugh.

To me it is obvious that the best anti-rape underwear would be to put a lock on the men’s drawers. But we know that won’t ever happen. No man will give up his sickness for the protection of women. Dream on.

I realize that AR Wear has good intentions, but I agree, if we put as much effort into dealing with the crux of the problem as we do coming up with bandaids to a problem, we might be a lot closer to putting an end to rape.

I think the perfect way to solve men raping women is to come up with a drug that is injected into a man, every man, that sends signals to the brain for the dick to go limp when a man is forcing himself upon a woman, and she is fighting back. I’m not a scientist but there must be some kind of pheromone that is released when a man is getting excited about raping a woman, that a drug can detect and deter the act from going further. Now that is an idea I can get behind. If there are any scientists out there….I say, “Get on it.”

Girls: Would you wear these? I know I wouldn’t. I’d rather put a pistol in my pussy that fires at will when there’s an unwelcome caller. Seriously, can we make that happen? Perhaps it can be a mini vibrator too – strictly for the lady of course.  Pleasure for the lady, pain for the man. I like it. Now we’re talking. :) Guaranteed you’ll get more girls wearing this than a pair of anti-rape panties. Although, AR Wear reached their goal of raising 50K. Maybe I stand alone here.

Lots to say? Blog me.

Happy Friday everyone! So Happy you are here with me!

xoxo

Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.

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michelle

Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)

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