Flap Your Lips Friday
Posted by Michelle Moquin on January 11th, 2013
Good morning!
Mika Brzezinski Calls Joe Scarborough ‘Chauvinistic,’ Blowup Ensues (VIDEO)
Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski had a huge fight on Thursday’s “Morning Joe.”
The blowup came after the two argued repeatedly about the diversity in President Obama’s cabinet, which has become an issue in recent days as one white man after another is nominated to top positions. Scarborough said that a Republican would be facing far more criticism than a Democrat for such actions. Brzezinski defended Obama, saying he had had women at all levels of his government and that his policies had benefited women.
Scarborough began jokingly mentioning things like the Lily Ledbetter act under his breath. Brzezinski grew increasingly angry.
“You need to be quiet right now,” she said, before really taking the plunge.
“I’m actually trying to ignore the — I’m afraid to use the word, because it will not be good for you, because you’re being chauvinistic right now,” she said. “It’s not funny.”
“You’re calling the wrong guy a chauvinist,” Scarborough said angrily, as Brzezinski laughed. She started to turn away, and he snapped his fingers at her to get her to pay attention.
“Stop! Let me help you,” she said. “No! Let me help you,” he snapped back. “You really, knowing me and seeing me work around here for five years, you want to call me a chauvinist on television?”
“I said the way you’re acting is chauvinistic, especially the way you were handling this conversation,” she said. “It’s not funny.”
Later, Brzezinski apologized for her choice of words.
“Now that things are less heated, I didn’t like the approach that you took, but just for the record, you are not a chauvinist,” she said. “I apologize for calling you one.”
*****
Kelly: Thank you for pointing that out. I let my anger get the worst of me and wrote irresponsibly. I do that very rarely and always over issues that really get to me. I did not mean to wish upon anyone that they do not get their day in court, but as I reread my write it seems apparent that was what I was implying. My mistake. So yes, I do agree with you, everyone should have the right to representation and their day in court. There may be innocents here, along with the perpetrators, and they both deserve a fair trial.
Howie: What a nice compliment to give my blog. You certainly have a fan club here that looks forward to you being here. So sorry to hear that you are ill. I HOPE you are home sweet home soon too. Take very good care.
Zen Lill: Happy Birthday coming up to Miss Lily! I will give a shout out soon.
Happy Friday everyone – Peace out.
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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January 11th, 2013 at 9:27 am
How the CIA Spots Lies—and You Can, Too
Everybody lies to some degree. Sometimes they are mild fibs, but other times they can be harmful deceptions. The trick for the listener is to figure out when someone is lying.
This can be helpful when you are interviewing a potential new employee or asking your boss for a raise…confronting a spouse over suspected infidelity or a child over possible drug use…negotiating with a car dealer…or consulting with a financial adviser.
Folk wisdom says that poor eye contact suggests dishonesty. Some psychologists recommend watching for “microexpressions”—very brief changes in facial expression.
But studies suggest that these and many other commonly cited indicators are either incorrect, unreliable or extremely difficult to spot.
The CIA has developed a more reliable system for spotting lies. It involves monitoring people’s words and actions for more than two dozen different possible signs of deception.
When a cluster of two or more of these signs appears in a single response, it may suggest a lie. You can ask follow-up questions on the topic and see if they, too, elicit clusters of deceptive behaviors (see “Questions That Uncover Lies” below).
The CIA may not have detected that its own director, David Petraeus, was concealing an affair that led to his resignation, but in general, it is very successful at ferreting out the truth.
Possible signs of deception…
VERBAL SIGNS
“Convincing” statements. These do not directly answer the question posed but instead attempt to influence the questioner’s perception of the person being questioned.
Example: An employee who is asked about an inflated expense report responds, “I’m an honest person,” or “I would never jeopardize my job by doing something like that.”
Unusually long pauses. It takes more time to think up a plausible lie than to tell the truth. Consider a pause to be a sign of deception if it is especially long for the nature of the question.
Relying on religion. When people use God to establish their honesty, it sometimes means that they’re lying. Examples: “I swear on a stack of Bibles…” or “As God is my witness…”
Non denial denials.
This can suggest dishonesty when people assert, “I would never do such a thing” (or words to that effect), yet they fail to deny the specific allegation…or when they bury denials deep in long-winded responses…or they offer responses that sound like denials but upon close consideration are not.
Example:
A Senator was asked if he had used a profanity on the Senate floor. Rather than say “No,” he said, “That’s not the kind of language I ordinarily use.”
Repeating the question or commenting on it before answering. Dishonest people sometimes do this to stall for time while they think through a lie. Example: “I’m glad you asked me that.”
Attack mode.
This could involve questioning the questioner’s competence or fairness. Example: “Who are you to question me?”
Inconsistent statements.
Liars who have trouble keeping track of their lies might provide contradictory answers.
Unnecessarily detailed answers.
The speaker might be trying to hide a lie among a flood of truths…or narrow the scope of the response so that it’s deceptive but not technically dishonest.
Example:
A CEO who was asked about quarterly sales responded, “Our domestic sales are up higher than we expected.” He specified domestic sales—a level of detail not requested—to avoid saying that overall sales were way down.
Sudden onset of politeness.
Note when the level of politeness increases in response to a particular question.
Example:
An employee answers various questions without saying “sir” and then responds, “No, sir,” to “Did you take money from the register?”
Inappropriate level of concern.
When people downplay the importance of serious misdeeds, it may be because they’re the ones who committed them.
Complaining about the interviewing process.
Example: “How long is this going to take?”
Appearing to misunderstand straightforward questions.
People sometimes do this intentionally because they don’t want to answer the question.
Referring back to earlier responses.
Liars may stress that they have already answered similar questions in a similar fashion.
Example:
“As I told you yesterday…”
Adding qualifiers.
Qualifiers include words intended to stress the speaker’s credibility, such as “frankly,” or “truthfully”…and words that suggest that the answer provided might not be 100% complete, such as “basically” or “for the most part.”
NONVERBAL SIGNS
People’s faces and bodies can provide hints that they’re lying…
Hiding the mouth or eyes behind a hand and/or closing the eyes for an extended period during the response. The speaker might be trying to cover a lie or avoid seeing the response that a lie triggers.
Hand-to-face activity.
Lying can trigger the brain’s fight-or-flight response. Blood rushes out of the face when this occurs, leaving it feeling itchy or cold.
Examples:
Repeated rubbing or scratching of the face…licking the lips…pulling the ears.
Nervous movements.
Watch for movement in the hands, feet and legs in reaction to a question.
Clearing the throat or swallowing.
These can signal anxiety about a lie—but only if they occur before the verbal response, not after.
Grooming.
Liars sometimes dissipate anxiety by straightening their clothing, hair or items in their vicinity. Examples: Adjusting a tie…smoothing a skirt…aligning pens on a desk.
INTERPRETING THE EVIDENCE
Watch and listen for the signs of deception listed above within the first five seconds after asking a question. If one appears, continue monitoring for additional signs during the remainder of the response. Remember, it takes a cluster of two or more to suggest dishonesty—even honest people exhibit one or another of these signs from time to time.
Note:
A cluster consists of two or more different signs of deception. If the same sign is repeated several times during a response, it does not count as a cluster on its own. The exception is “convincing” statements, which are such powerful deception indicators that two of them alone constitute a cluster.
It’s difficult to listen and look for dozens of different signs of deception at the same time. Practice by watching people respond to difficult questions on TV investigative news programs.
QUESTIONS THAT UNCOVER LIES
To uncover lies, ask short, straightforward questions. Even honest people can seem to send signs of deception when they struggle to answer complex questions.
Remain friendly and calm even if you think you’re being lied to. Becoming angry will only raise the liar’s defenses, making it more difficult to spot additional signs of deception.
Types of questions to ask…
Presumptive questions. These contain assumptions you cannot yet prove.
Example:
You want to know if your teenager was at a raucous party the previous night. Rather than ask, “Were you there?” ask, “What happened at the party last night?”—which presumes that the teen was there and catches him/her off guard.
Bait questions. These present hypothetical situations and often begin, “Is there any reason that…”
Example:
Jewelry went missing from your bedroom while workmen were working elsewhere in your home. Rather than ask each workman if he did it, ask each, “Is there any reason someone might have seen you going into the master bedroom this morning?”
If you previously asked this person where he was at the time of the theft, he might now change his story and supply a reason why he could have been seen near your bedroom.
Questions preceded by prologue traps.
Preface key questions with mini-monologues that offer responders a way to minimize, rationalize or pass the blame for misdeeds. These prologues sometimes convince them that it’s safe to admit to “minor” transgressions.
Examples:
Cash is missing from your purse. Before asking a family member if he/she took it, say, “I realize the mistake might have been mine. I never explained that you should ask first when you need to borrow money from me.”
“What else?” When someone admits to a misdeed or lie, keep asking, “What else?” until it seems no more details are being withheld.
Source: Michael Floyd, JD, a former officer with the Central Intelligence Agency, the National Security Agency and the US Army Military Police.
He is a founder of QVerity, a behavioral analysis and screening provider for corporations, and Advanced Polygraph Services.
Based in Napa, California, he is coauthor, along with two other former CIA officers, of Spy the Lie: Former CIA Officers Teach You How to Detect Deception (St. Martin’s). http://www.QVerity.com
January 11th, 2013 at 10:56 am
One other thing unskilled liars do is either laugh inappropriately or blurt the truth. : ) guess who? I cannot do it…I can tell trivial lies but the few times I’ve attempted to play cover my ass by lying big, I’ve done one of the above and totally gave myself away. I’m good with minor league shit, the same garden variety little lies (actually omissions usually bc yes, you have gained a few and I’ve noticed but saying that or agreeing with that never helped anyone lose weight so I refrain) – before I trivial lie I do wonder if I’m doing it to protect myself or the other party, I don’t just run around lying…and for those of you who want to rant on about you never do that, hmmm, think again, we all have some minor thing we’d rather not get into so we fluffer a way to avoid, omit or just not cop to (fill in the blank).
That’s life as a human (I’ll ask Zen Lilli the cyborg how she feels about that statement : ) – caio for now, Luv, ZL
January 11th, 2013 at 11:41 am
I’m interested in hearing about your non-biological parts, Zen Lill. Please share deets.
Mary
January 11th, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Thanks for the loving.
January 11th, 2013 at 8:49 pm
Hi Michelle,
That was a very warm and welcoming comment you made in you Post today. it is no fun at all being hospitalized.
Your comment remnds me that I have people who care about me right here on your blog.
If I get the urge, I can say hi to my blog friends.
Hi Zen Lill, do not even think for one second that I have forgotten YOU — That would be impossible. You have been my blog friend for quite some time and it is very real even though we communicate through cyberspace.
LUV, HOWIE
January 12th, 2013 at 7:46 am
Howie, it’s wonderful to see that you are well enough to post. Looking forward to a complete recovery for you.
June
January 12th, 2013 at 7:49 am
Its time for the British government to seriously look at the ethics of the Indian Government and their officials and take a stance against them. Prime Minister needs to emphasis to the Indian Prime Minister to take positive and hardline actions against the corrupt officials and the politicians.
Lets not forget the British teenager who was raped and killed in Goa sometime ago there is still no justice for that girl too. Why is it the British Government keeping quiet over this issue? This needs to be debated in the parliment now now now.
January 12th, 2013 at 7:52 am
India has one of the most corrupt police forces in the world. With the government’s help are they trying to remove this appalling story from the news headlines? Mr Singh is the PM and he should get the grips or face the hostile electorate at the next general election.
January 12th, 2013 at 7:56 am
I am so tired of listening to the various news outlets parrot the manliness of that fat slob Chris Christie.
When a white boy acts human, white american eats his shit. This is the same creature that insults those who have a different opinion and tries to voice it in his presence. Once again the OTWs in America are showing how easy it is for the white media to manipulate them.
January 12th, 2013 at 7:58 am
I feel anger that these men could do such a depraved act. Where does this hatred come from that they could defile this woman, and other women in this way, as no doubt they have raped before.
As a christian who is struggling to understand Gods ways of late. I don’t know how, when this woman was screaming for help and asking God to help her she was still allowed to suffer. My heart goes out to her family, the world is so short of love that some people think doing this act gives them pleasure at any cost, what a sad world we live in.
January 12th, 2013 at 8:04 am
Howie, your fans in Deutschland wish you a speedy recovery too.