Flap Your Lips Friday
Posted by Michelle Moquin on February 22nd, 2013
Good morning!
A female Bartender speaks of her life lessons from bartending in the big city…telling it like it is in a very honest and direct way…and some of it is kinda funny.
Confessions Of A Bartender: 10 Things Every Bartender Absolutely Hates About You
I remember the first day I stepped foot in my bar. I had just gotten laid off from the job that made me pray for a subway crash every morning, and was drinking free on the dime of a family friend who was a bartender there. It was Halloween. I was dressed like a Victoria Secret Angel. I was 22. I had never so much as made a martini or poured a beer from a tap. When I was offered a job hostessing one day a week that day, I didn’t think I would ever parlay it into a four-year stint that has given me more opportunities and money than I could have ever imagined.
But here I am, four years later, possibly on the verge of leaving and finally putting my English degree to use writing TV shows in L.A. And the bar/restaurant that I call second home in New York City has taught me a lot of life lessons. I’d like to pass those lessons on to others because I genuinely feel like I owe it to all my other bartender friends to try to educate the masses as I go.
10. I am a bartender, not an escort.
Funny how a lot of guys in suits seem to mistake the two, but just because I get you a beer and have a vagina while doing so, it does not give you the right to grab my ass or say inappropriate shit to me. That’s assault, brotha. If you think grabbing a girl you don’t know’s ass is a good icebreaker, maybe you should reevaluate your life. I am not being paid to flirt with you or your friends. I do not get paid nearly enough to pretend I am remotely interested in 98 percent of the bankers, traders, stock brokers and other finance guys who roll through my little bar during the week. And for the guys in my bar who already crossed that line, if you think I haven’t thought about messaging your wife on LinkedIn about how I had to have her husband thrown out because he put his hand up my skirt, you’re greatly mistaken. It’s always on the backburner as an option. Treat me with respect, and you will not be forcibly evicted from my bar. Or ratted out to your wife for being a groper.
9. Anything less than 20 percent is blasphemy.
Sorry, kids. This isn’t an ego thing; this is a New York thing. Most service industry workers make about $2.13 an hour, far below minimum wage. My livelihood is my tip. And I know without a doubt, I never give service that is worth less than 20 percent. I always find it funny to hear these guys who work for Morgan Stanley or Barclays or UBS or Bank of America talk about throwing money around, but when a $153 bill is dropped, everyone gets real quiet. I was an English major who was terrible at math, and somehow even I know that $20 on anything more than $120 is an insult. It’s ironic that those who deal with money on a daily basis are the ones who seem the most confused when it comes to adding a tip. You aren’t curing cancer or solving the debt crisis here, bro. You’re leaving a 20 percent tip on a check, and I’m pretty sure your phone even has a calculator. Maybe that explains the financial crisis of the last four years. If you can’t figure out 20 percent of 173, you probably shouldn’t be handling millions of dollars a day for other people. Or if you’re just too cheap to leave an adequate tip, maybe you should just stay home. Do you work for free? No? Okay cool because neither do I.
8. Don’t ever tell me to buy you a drink. I am all about buybacks.
I love rewarding loyal patrons who are courteous, respectful and patient with a round. What I don’t love is having someone demand I buy them a round, or worse, demand I buy MORE rounds for them. Even if you have a regular presence at a bar, it doesn’t always justify a buyback, let alone multiple buybacks. When people say, “Well, I’ve spent $300 here, you aren’t going to buy me anything?” I usually respond by saying, “When you go to CVS and buy a hundred bucks worth of stuff in toiletries, do you demand free bottles of shampoo or Tylenol?” If you are asking for free drinks, more than likely you’re a jerk in the general scheme of life and I don’t do buybacks for them. Seriously, who ASKS for free drinks? How poor are you?
7. Don’t ask me for something “fun.”
Dude, I’m going to be 27. I’ve been drinking for 10 years. I know what I like; I know what I don’t. When I go to a bar, I have four staples – Hoegaarden, Chardonnay, Jack and coke, Bud Light. If the bar offers crazy concoctions, I’ll browse the list. But to the women who think they’re in an episode of “Sex and the City,” no, I don’t want to make you something “fun.” All alcohol is fun. You get drunk. Whether it’s pink or brown or blue or clear, it’s fun. Pick a drink, and stop expecting the bartender to have a secret bottle of hot pink glittery awesome fun that’s just going to take your drinking experience to the next level behind the bar. It’s cranberry juice for Christ’s sake. My grandma used to drink it when she was constipated.
6. I am not stupid.
Yes, I work in a bar, and I have for a while. But many years ago I had a nine-to-five desk job with benefits and a computer and a boss who made my life hell. And you know what? I hated it. I am not dumber than you because you wear a suit to work, and I wear leggings and a tank top. I am not dumber than you because I serve beer, and you tell people you trade bonds when you actually get your boss’s lunch and laundry. I too, went to a decent college (holla, Terps). I have a degree. I travel. I’m cultured. I love sports, and I’ve been published. I work my ass off both at my bar and trying to get where I want to be with my writing. Do not assume that because I am the one pouring your beer, that somehow I am less ambitious than you or a disappointment who wasn’t so capable as you were to get a job in IB or marketing. Just because I don’t sit at a desk all day and crunch numbers does not mean I am not changing the world in my own way.
5. I am more important than an intern.
My favorite story to tell the younger people. Long ago, I befriended a patron named J. I used to hate him because he’d come in right as I was closing. He knew this. Eventually, he wised up and began coming in earlier and tipping graciously. I would buy him rounds, chat with his coworkers, and make him look like the coolest mother to ever grace a New York bank when he brought clients in for drinks or dinner. J loved me. So when three little snobby intern brats who made it clear they worked with him decided to tip me three dollars on a $310 check, then call me a bitch as they walked out because, hey, they work at a bank, and they are just too cool to be nice to lowly bartenders, they had no idea that I would go to my dear friend J. And here’s the thing: J is in his late 40’s. He’s with it. He likes having the in at my bar. Want to know what J doesn’t like? People associating him with 21-year-old twits who tip badly and call me a bitch on his company’s reputation. J later called the three little interns and told them to come back. He told each to tip me $30. As they left, I told them the most important lesson they might ever learn. I am more important to J than they are. They are one in a million on Monster.com. There are a million other Georgetown, Duke, Brown, Yale, Cornell and UNC kids who could replace them in a second. Their daily routine of getting yelled at and going to pick up lunch for their boss can be performed by any idiot willing to sell his soul for a bullet point on his resume. Me? It took J a year for me to warm up to him. To get the buybacks, to get the reserved tables, to get the “J’s the greatest” in front of the big buyers. I am the reason J comes to this bar. You? You’re about to get fired. Might want to work on that “better than thou” attitude before you graduate.
4. Don’t tell me to smile.
Don’t write it on a check. Don’t write it on a napkin, and certainly don’t say it to my face. Look kids, I know it’s hard to believe, but I too have problems. I have bad days, and sometimes I am not all smiles. I will always do my best to be polite and attentive — qualities any good server should employ regardless of how their day is going. But do people walk around your office telling you to smile while you’re sitting at your desk? My favorite response to people who seem to think I should constantly be smiling is usually that I just found out my dad’s cancer came back, or that it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. Neither are ever true. However, don’t assume you know what’s going on in the life of the person who is serving you. Don’t wanna feel like a total jackass for telling a girl who’s dad just died to “smile?” Well, then don’t tell her to smile. I work in a bar, not Chucky Cheese. Stuff happens in my life too, and sometimes my job sucks. Don’t expect me to greet every person like I just won the mega millions.
3. We are not “in your town.”
One of my biggest pet peeves is when tourists from backwoods, stereotypical, Southerntown come in to my bar, usually around the holidays, get a glass of wine or a mojito or a margarita and are seemingly SHOCKED at the prices, conveniently after they drink the whole thing. When the argument becomes, “Where I live a glass of wine is five dollars,” it takes a lot of me to not say something like “because it looks like you enjoy a good box of Franzia.” Much like everything else in New York -– food, clothing, toiletries, hotel rooms, shows and hookers –- drinks at a restaurant/bar are going to be on par with the rest of the city and more expensive than they’d be in Sheboygan. Just like while you pay $500 bucks a month to live in a four bedroom townhouse in Arkansas, I pay $1250. The cost of living in New York is higher because the cost of EVERYTHING in New York is higher. Even I passed ECON101. If you come to New York and expect a beer to be the same price as it is at your local dive bar down the street in the town that isn’t locatable on a map, I suggest you get out more. And honestly, do I look like I make the call on the prices at this place, dude? I am the bartender, not the owner. If you complain about it, I will not be able to do anything for you, but I will certainly judge you and assume you are cheap. Nobody wins.
2. I judge you based on what you order.
I know to I.D. if you’re ordering a Malibu bay breeze in January or a bloody Mary at 9:30 p.m. I know you’re an idiot if you order a very dry martini with no vermouth. Very dry MEANS NO VERMOUTH. If you don’t know what I mean when I ask if you want something up or on the rocks, neat or on the rocks, then you shouldn’t be ordering your drink to begin with. Educate yourself on your booze. If it’s not 1987 (since I’m not Tom Cruise) please don’t order a drink like you’re in the movie Cocktail. No daiquiris or pina coladas. You are not Samantha from Sex and the City, and no I can’t make that Cosmo any pinker without curing you of a UTI.
1. You sound like you’re from London!
Do not let the British guy pay the check or leave the tip. Please. Ever. Seriously. Don’t.
******
Feel like going out and having a drink now? Well…it is Friday. Enjoy and remember to treat your bartender with respect. Blog me.
Debra: Good One. I was reading about Lewis this time last year. I think I blogged a write about him as well. Thanks for honoring him this time around too.
Al: Done and Done. Thanks.
Social Butterfly: Love the song by Nina Simone. Thanks for sharing. With respect to your comment on the post, yeah and vote these guys out of office.
Peter: Thanks for your concern but of course I don’t mind. You may always post what you like. Hafa Adai.
Peace & love…
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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February 22nd, 2013 at 10:42 am
Cannot stop laughing, I spent some time bartending at a high end nightclub, I take very little exception to any of this, esp the J story. I had a J who was rich, well connected and tippedme enough to pay my rent, lol, he also knew my boss so if j wanted to dance I danced and he always left that to be my choice. Young interns or wannabees were the freaking worst, a great lesson there, if your date treats the service peeps crappy, guaranteed someday it’ll be you. Typing on a smartphone sorry fr basic typos, hard to control, its got a mind of it own sometimes! Luv, Zen Lill
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:29 pm
I was a bartender for two weeks and that’s all I could take. Me and serving the public equals a bad marriage.
PrismPrincess posted a pretty good video I’m sharing because I think there is an audience for it. I think some of you will enjoy it and it will probably piss some of the rest you off. Hehe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=S6ZsXrzF8Cc
Cheers,
Holly
February 22nd, 2013 at 1:51 pm
Ditto Zen Lill. I worked in a bar for 3 years. It was way too much fun. I had to quit before I became an alcoholic. I used to sell one and drink one. I was 23, fucking the married owner and I could do no wrong.
When he asked me to marry him, I knew it was time to leave. He was 31 years my senior, and he was a lousy fuck. He was cheating on his wife of 20 plus years so I knew that he would cheat on me. Plus he was such a lousy lay, I knew I would have to cheat on him to get off while having sex.
In the last year, I acted like I was considering his marriage proposal and I looted the horny bastard for about $130,000. He knew I was taking the money because I was bold about it. I didn’t want him going after me legally when I left so I did it openly in front of the entire staff when he was there.
He used to laugh and say to the others, “if your pussy was as good, you could steal from me to,” behind my back. I didn’t care because if you were a woman working for him being groped or propositioned came with the job. Those were the days when men had it their way.
I told him I was pregnant and I told him it was his and I needed to get away to think. He gave me $25,000 and told me to call when I was ready. That was 23 years ago.
Lisa
February 22nd, 2013 at 2:09 pm
GREAT Holly. The link is so true, so true.
February 22nd, 2013 at 2:13 pm
I worked as a bartender for 9 years. I became an alcoholic and whore. I didn’t fuck guys bur every pretty girl who wanted this pussy had a shot at one I had six. I worked in several different bars in San Francisco.
I was hot and so hot to trot. The men were always hitting on me. But I’m a girlie girl and I loves me some fine trim. But when I got high, the butches took over and used me as they pleased.
Now I own my own bar and I no longer drink. I’m a confirmed member of AA. Like this one a lot.
February 22nd, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Calling Congress to Action
President Obama and Democrats agree: America cannot afford more Republican obstruction and delay. The stakes are too high and time is running too short. Inaction will simply leave the indiscriminate, across-the-board spending cuts in place – threatening jobs, undermining public safety and first responders, injecting uncertainty into our markets, and harming our economy.
Democrats are interested in solutions, not sequesters. We have laid out a balanced approach built on responsible spending cuts, increased revenues, and growth with jobs. The House should be in session this week to consider this proposal.
The last thing we should do is nothing. The clock is ticking and the deadline is fast approaching. Congress should work together to replace the sequester with a bold and balanced proposal that will strengthen the middle class, create jobs, expand our economy, and responsibly bring down the deficit.
Congresswoman Pelosi urges Congress to act to replace the sequester
You’re Invited!
Congress on Your Corner
Join the Office of Congresswoman Pelosi for a “Congress on Your Corner” at the San Francisco War Memorial Veterans Building. My staff will be available to offer assistance in resolving issues with federal agencies, such as the Department of Veterans Affairs, and problems securing Social Security, Medicare or other federal benefits.
Wednesday, February 27th, 2013
11:00am to 12:30pm
War Memorial Veterans Building, Post 198
401 Van Ness Ave
San Francisco, CA 94102
Map It!
Please feel free to forward this information to your family and friends. To learn more about these efforts, to express your views, or to sign up for email updates, please visit my website. I am also on Twitter at http://twitter.com/NancyPelosi.
best regards,
Member of Congress
February 22nd, 2013 at 2:37 pm
New Rules for Online Dating: Avoid These Common Mistakes
Each year, online dating Web sites attract more than 40 million Americans, many of them in their 40s, 50s and 60s. In fact, the fastest-growing segment of online daters is people over age 50.
But there are many pitfalls that can get in the way of a successful online dating experience.
How to avoid the most common mistakes…
FLAWED PROFILES
The profile and photos that you post on a dating site will determine whether potential partners take an interest in you.
Don’t focus on your life story. Focus instead on what you’re looking for in a partner and a relationship and what you enjoy doing. Be specific—for instance, don’t just say that you enjoy travel and reading. Give interesting examples of where you like to go and what you like to read.
Don’t write too much about yourself. Daters tend to think longer profiles lead to better matches. But longer profiles often are not read at all. Save the nitty-gritty for e-mail correspondence and dates.
Don’t rule out certain types of people in your profile. Doing so will make you seem judgmental and negative. Say what you are looking for…and then, later, you can politely turn down (or not respond to) people who don’t fit these criteria.
Example: One woman’s profile instructed men not to e-mail her if their divorces weren’t final or if they were experiencing financial problems. But these instructions sounded so judgmental that it turned off single, financially stable men, too.
Don’t assume that mentioning your children or grandchildren is a turnoff. It shows that you are family-oriented, something many potential partners in the over-50 age group find appealing.
Don’t include suggestive photos. Posting sexy, revealing photos might seem like a good way to attract a mate, but in my experience, it usually does more harm than good. Such photos are particularly likely to scare off people looking for a relationship, not just a fling. Select photos that make you seem warm, friendly and approachable, not hot and sultry.
Helpful:
Include at least one photo that gives some indication of your overall body. Men in particular tend not to respond to potential mates if they cannot see a woman’s general shape.
Don’t include photos of yourself that also include members of the opposite sex. These tend to significantly reduce responses. They make you seem like someone who isn’t ready to settle down.
Don’t submit badly out-of-date photos. Potential partners will feel duped and disappointed if your current age, weight or hairline is very different from what your photos indicate.
FAULTY FOLLOW-UP
What not to do when you make contact with potential partners…
Don’t worry about “chemistry” too much when you exchange e-mails. It’s prudent to exchange a few e-mails with potential partners before meeting or chatting on the phone—just remember that some people don’t express themselves well in text.
Agree to chat on the phone if the match seems feasible even if you don’t feel a spark from the e-mails. If the phone call is enjoyable, agree to meet in person even if that spark is still lacking—sometimes chemistry doesn’t appear until couples meet in person.
Example:
Jane, 52, thought Mark, 67, was too old for her as they exchanged e-mails and chatted on the phone. But when she met him in person, she found him warm and handsome and much more youthful than she had imagined.
Don’t provide your home phone number and main e-mail. You don’t want to worry about angry calls or e-mails or, worse, stalking, if you decide not to pursue a relationship. Open an e-mail account and a Google Voice phone number (www.Google.com/voice) specifically for online dating.
Don’t assume that you’re in a relationship just because the e-mail exchange has gone well. Online daters often cultivate several potential relationships to see which turns out best. You might be disappointed if you get your hopes up too soon.
Don’t discuss prior marriages on a first date. Prior marriages often come up when people in their 40s or beyond date. But if this comes up on a first date, say, “I wouldn’t mind telling you about my marriage if we see each other again, but right now, I want to get to know you.” Discussing prior marriages on a first date can be a downer.
Don’t assume that online dating won’t work for you because you don’t express yourself well via e-mail. One of the latest trends in online dating is “meet-ups,” where dating-site members gather in person, typically in a bar.
Match.com has been particularly active in arranging group events. It’s a great option for people who struggle to express themselves in print…and those who prefer low-stress informal gatherings to digging through online profiles and asking people out.
Group events tend to be quite friendly, and the dating sites that sponsor them strive to make them gender balanced and age appropriate. Because the people who attend are looking for partners, the odds of finding a match are a lot better than they normally would be when approaching strangers.
Helpful:
RSVP immediately if you get an invitation to a meet-up and wish to attend—they tend to fill up fast.
DATING WEB SITES FOR EVERYONE
Dating sites can be divided into two categories—mainstream and niche.
Mainstream sites:
These have the biggest memberships, providing more potential matches.
eHarmony is more of a “matrimonial” dating site—most members are hoping to find a future spouse or long-term partner, not just a fling. New members complete a detailed questionnaire, which eHarmony’s computers use to identify potential matches that it suggests to members. It has many members over age 40, making it a great choice for people in this demographic. ($59.95* per month…$179.70 for six months.) http://www.eHarmony.com
Helpful:
Answer the optional additional questions on eHarmony’s questionnaire, not just those required.
Match.com has some members looking to marry and others seeking more casual relationships. Members usually search Match.com’s database on their own, although the company sends e-mails suggesting matches as well. ($39.95 per month…$119.94 for six months.) http://www.Match.com
Plenty of Fish is the largest free dating site and is easy to use, but some people complain that the lack of membership fees results in too many ads and unappealing members. (Although a basic account is free, an “upgraded” account that features increased profile visibility and other advantages costs $35.40 for three months…$51 for six months.) http://www.pof.com
Niche sites:
These can be useful if you know the specific type of person you seek.
Alikewise is for book lovers. Users can seek potential partners who share their reading preferences. (Free.) http://www.Alikewise.com
Christian Mingle, whose slogan is “Find God’s Match for You,” includes questions on denomination and frequency of church attendance. It is the largest Christian dating site. ($29.99 per month…$83.94 for six months.) http://www.ChristianMingle.com
Date My Pet is for animal lovers. ($14.95 per month…$39.95 for six months. Free “basic” membership also is available, but it does not allow you to initiate online exchanges, only respond to them.) http://www.DateMyPet.com
Fitness Singles is for people who are active and in good shape. ($34.95 per month…$89.70 for six months.) http://www.Fitness-Singles.com
JDate is the largest of the Jewish dating sites, which also include SawYouAtSinai.com—a site focusing on more observant Jews. (JDate is $39.99 per month…$119.94 for six months.) http://www.JDate.com
OurTime is specifically for people over 50. ($19.99 per month…$71.94 for six months.) http://www.OurTime.com
Stache Passions is for men with facial hair and women who love them. (Free.) http://www.StachePassions.com
VeggieDate is for vegetarians. (Free two-week trial…$51 for six months.) http://www.VeggieDate.org
* Prices in this article are subject to change.
Source: Julie Spira, a dating coach who is publisher and editor in chief of Cyber-Dating Expert, an online dating advice Web site.
She is author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online (Morgan James). http://www.CyberDatingExpert.com
February 22nd, 2013 at 2:56 pm
Those are rules I can live by. I have been bar tending for 3 years now. And she named all my pet peeves.
I really the young things (I’m 27) who come in and ask for something “fun,” but not nearly as much as the men who think I’m there for their groping pleasure. I usually keep a bottle of my dog’s piss for them right next to the chlorine. Sometimes in a rush I get them mixed up.
Oh, well, dodging groping can get a girl nervous.
Karla
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:02 pm
Tipping reflects the quality of the service and the character of the person giving it. Blasphemy is not a word I would use to decry a 15% gratuity. And don’t complain about being treated like a servant when you WORK IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY!!! Grow up, kiddo.
And if you don’t like the way people treat you in your work, move on to something else. No one owes you anything, even if you drink your whiskey clear.
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:08 pm
I work in a bar and I get great tips. I wear loose blouses and I don’t mind a man staring at my boobs. I’m a 5’7” 36C . Men love to catch a glimpse of my boobs and I love the tips.
I could be showing it off for free on the streets but I get paid for their peeps. Sure some are assholes. I try to hold my own the way I look at it is it sounds like these tips come from someone who shouldn’t be tending bar in the first place.
Caroline
February 22nd, 2013 at 3:15 pm
Very good advice. I am a bartender going on 4 years. I work in a major hotel chain. It is rough. The clientele are mostly assholes who think they are way better than you.
Fuck it I say. After the first drink the rest is well and the assholes don’t know the diff. I treat my good regulars with the good stuff courtesy of the jerks.
The women who come in are usually very young things looking for eligibles. But most of the men are married looking to get laid. It works out I guess because the bar is always crowded till it closes.
I like everything except that 20% tirade. I like to think I provide a service that would bring me that, but hey if I get 15% I can live with it. It’s been a good run for me.
Ellie
February 23rd, 2013 at 6:33 am
Hafa Adai Peter:
When I read this story I could hardly believe my eyes.
————————-
Peter Says:
February 22nd, 2013 at 7:29 am
Hafa adai. Michelle, I hope you don’t mind if I use your site to send a message that can be copied and disseminated to those who don’t have access to a computer. If i is too long I will refrain in the future.
To those of you who have voiced a concern about the dead mice that will be coming from above. The story has been exaggerated. Here is the truth.
=====================================
Dead mice laced with painkillers are about to rain down on Guam’s jungle canopy. They are scientists’ prescription for a headache that has caused the tiny U.S. territory misery for more than 60 years: the brown tree snake.
——————————-
I don’t think the snakes here on Guam will eat dead mice. What proof does the government have they will.
Collins
February 23rd, 2013 at 6:57 am
When I get on this blog and rail against the white boy about his racism, misogyny, and hypocrisy, I am met with a certain amount of resistance and skepticism.
Of course the second third of the white race that continues to aid and abet the serious first third, die hard, genocidal racists, are saying “there he goes again.”
To those disingenuous enablers I say, “okay try to explain this.”
=================================
By Scott Keyes on Feb 21, 2013 at 1:30 pm
Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA)
INDIANOLA, Iowa — Republicans have offered a number of reasons why they oppose the Violence Against Women Act. Some think it’s unconstitutional. Others argue that it’s just a meaningless bill with a patriotic title.
On Wednesday, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) added a new one: Native Americans supposedly aren’t capable of holding fair trials.
Last week, Grassley was one of just 22 senators—all Republican men—who voted against reauthorizing VAWA. During a town hall meeting in Indianola on Wednesday, a woman asked him to explain his vote. Grassley responded that the legislation is unconstitutional, a belief shared by at least five of his colleagues.
Since the Constitution guarantees citizens the right to a trial among a jury of peers, Grassley reasoned that white men would be deprived of their rights if those who were accused of violence against Native American women had to appear in a tribal court. “On an Indian reservation, it’s going to be made up of Indians, right?” Grassley said. “So the non-Indian doesn’t get a fair trial.”
GRASSLEY: One provision that non-Native Americans can be tried in tribal court. And why is that a big thing? Because of the constitutionality of it, for two reasons. One, you know how the law is, that if you have a jury, the jury is supposed to be a reflection of society.
[...] So you get non-Indians, let me say to make it easy, you get non-Indians going into a reservation and violating a woman. They need to be prosecuted. They aren’t prosecuted.
So the idea behind [VAWA] is we’ll try them in tribal court. But under the laws of our land, you got to have a jury that is a reflection of society as a whole, and on an Indian reservation, it’s going to be made up of Indians, right? So the non-Indian doesn’t get a fair trial.
There is actually no requirement that juries reflect “society as a whole.” The Sixth Amendment requires juries to be drawn from the “State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed,” and Supreme Court decisions establish that criminal defendants also have a right to a jury which is “drawn from a fair cross section of the community,” where the trial court convenes to hear their case. But this does not entitle anyone to be tried by a jury that reflects the whole of American society.
A person who is tried in Vermont is likely to have an all-white jury because over 95 percent of Vermont is white. Similarly, a person who commits a crime in the Navajo Nation will face a jury of Native Americans because the population of the local community is made up of Navajo people.
There is no reason to believe that Navajo jurors are any less impartial than white Vermonters, and Grassley is wrong to suggest otherwise.
Grassley went to great lengths to tell attendees that he had supported VAWA in the past. “I support 98 percent of what’s in the bill,” he said.
If it weren’t for his belief that Native Americans’ are incapable of conducting a fair trial, perhaps he would have voted for it again.
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What a lying sack of shit. But it wouldn’t work if that second third of the white race weren’t so eager to believe they need protection from the OTWs in America. I often wonder if it is because they are aware of how horribly their race has treated us.
But it is more likely they are simply reflecting how they would act under similar circumstances. That is why they cannot trust Obama, they know what they would do as a white president.
I guess it hasn’t occurred to them that by that logic no minority – especially Native Americans – can receive a fair trial in a “white” court. But then actually most of America’s history has proven that to be true.
Robert, rt
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:05 am
Robert, rt,
Bravo! Thank you for that.
W/
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:48 am
Thank you Social Butterfly for bringing Nina Simone to my attention. I am now in love with her recordings. I have heard many of her recordings but I never knew the singer.
The net is so wonderful. What would one do without it. You have made the senior lady very happy.
Ellen
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:53 am
Robert,RT, I’ve lost count of all the Black People that have been convicted by all White juries. So I guess if Grassley feels that way, I have to wonder why he has NEVER spoken out against ANY of those verdicts……..Actually I don’t wonder, just making a point!
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:54 am
Someone should tell Grassley that the victims in these cases aren’t the white men who are tried! The victims are the native women who are raped and never see justice done.
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:55 am
White privilege rears its ugly head, again. According to the latest US Census information, Sen. Grassley represents a state that is 93% white and just 3.1% African-American.
By his logic, all Iowan African-Americans should get a venue change to – at the very least – Des Moines (10.2%), if not a more representative state. Chuckles go back to the farm, please.
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:56 am
Someone needs to tell Grassley they try native people by all white juries all the time. this is ridiculous. Is the Leonard Peltier verdict wrong then because it was an “all-white” jury?
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:57 am
What is it with all of these old white men anyway? A bunch of misogynist jerks!
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:58 am
So let’s see here; according to Senator Chuck Grassly’s logic, then a Bostonian shouldn’t be tried in a New York City Court.
Or a black man, should only be tried by blacks, white’s by white’s, Asian by Asian’s, Arabs by Arab’s, Columbian’s by Columbian’s, and Puerto Rican’s, by Puerto Rican’s.
Or Army veteran’s by Army veteran’s only, Navy veteran’s by Navy Veteran’s only and so on and so forth, for God’s sake, We All have the capacity to be fair-minded, and unbiased juror’s.
And using their illogical logic, it’d be impossible to prosecute Senator Chuck Grassley, because there are no other Chuck Grassley’s available, to fit into a fair-minded impartial Jurist’s Seat.
There is NOTHING FAIR, NOR IMPARTIAL about this ludicrous logic there Senator Chuck Grassley! Gees talking about speaking to hear ones own voice for Christ’s sakes.
We ALL have the capacity to be fair and impartial! Apparently what is missing, is the willingness to see that this is so.
February 23rd, 2013 at 8:31 am
Hmm…
How about if the ‘rapist’ no matter his color/creed gets a societal deterrent ahead of time so women stop getting raped by men to begin with, obviously the whole scenario is somewhat accepted so it’s dealing with them in what court, that’s it, that’s the best we can come up with?
How about in the court of step one, we ‘remove your testicles’ for forcing yourself on a female who has made it clear she does not want you or your advances.
Highly unlikely bc rape is about power not sex, not wanted or unwanted sexual advances (although there’s the date rape scene and that’s a similar but slightly different motive, these men have taken no as yes, yes as yes and maybe as yes and many women buy into this by playing it out, intentionally or unintentionally – as well).
So society has to see this and define this thing called ‘rape’ as the major violation that it is, no matter how they want to code it, ‘it’s not real rape unless x/y/z occurs’ no rape is rape=major crime on womenkind.
The problem is too many people do victim blaming to begin with, why was she ‘there’ and why was she dressed like that, etc…adding to the ‘she must’ve asked for it’ mentality of some males, who clearly see any woman who’s standing there as being put in the scene for them to abuse.
Oh, just wait until the feminine powers start to take hold in this upcoming time of change, it won’t be easy but men will change…they will have to. They can do it kicking and screaming or they can do it the easy way, but change is imminent.
There’s often cynicism here about men and I’ll only reiterate what Mischa always says ‘SOME men’ but if you’re one of the other men, the good men, well dudes it’s time to grow your pair a little more and speak up now and again because otherwise you are aiding and abetting the SOME men who are making you all look a little sketchy, untrustworthy (and at same time demanding trust from your woman), etc…
and PS to covert bad men, the wolves in sheeps clothing type – don’t expect total allegiance unless you are willing to give it, so if you’re busy acting like a barbarian while you’re not with your woman (ex. you’re busy at bars grabbing your local drink maker, etc…) than don’t expect that ‘your woman’ isn’t on to you, that’d be stupid on your part, (and sure as hell don’t be bitching when she dumps you).
Back to my point, arguing what court or who’s on the jury is moving way past the point: that point being, when the f**k did it start to become sort of ‘it’s just that way’ about so many rapes, it seems to have become rampant and much more violent, I don’t want retribution after that fact, I want the raping/violence to stop. full stop.
Liv, Zen Lill – sorry for ranting but the ‘court’ part is the bandaid, let’s deal with pre-crime, how do we go about exacting change on that???
February 23rd, 2013 at 8:35 am
I meant to write Luv, Zen Lill, obviously this topic left me feeling less than luv’ing at that moment, I am always sending luv and healing towards all of you, even the racists who chime in, bc you will have to change bc being the way you are cannot possibly feel good to you. & everyone wants to feel good, trust me, it’s how I help peeps off-line and earn my daily bread, that’s what people want…LUV, Zen Lill
*& I’m outta here, there’s winter tennis to play!