Happy Mother’s Day!
Posted by Michelle Moquin on May 11th, 2014
Good morning!
The modern mother is not all about bouquets and brunch. The modern mother wants something more. Here’s the write from the TIME:
What Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day
Last year, Mother’s Day spending on brunches, jewelry, salon appointments, flowers and greeting cards topped $20 billion, according to the National Retail Federation. And no doubt retailers hope to meet that amount this year too. Brands like American Greetings and Kay Jewelers, a Mother’s Day advertising regular, portray the holiday, and therefore motherhood, as an event for young women doted on by attentive husbands and young children[took out the video ref since that wasn’t an example of mothers being doted on]. But for many, both the holiday and the reality are as much about being a mother as they are about having, and caring for, their own mothers. And mothers taking care of mothers need more than mimosas and manicures to cope with life in the sandwich generation.
Last year, I started the day having breakfast at home with my family. I then drove more than an hour with my kids to visit my mother, while my husband headed out to visit his. I spent the afternoon with my elderly parents, providing lunch and a cake and doing a few odd jobs for them at their home. I returned home after six to start the Sunday night routine: showers, stray homework assignments and stressing about the impending workweek. I went to bed that night feeling a mixture of emotions: grateful for another year with my mother, guilty for wanting the day to myself, overwhelmed by all that my parents needed and I couldn’t give them in a five-hour visit and, as always, exhausted.
Based on data from the National Alliance for Caregiving, the AARPand Pew Research, I’m pretty much an average caregiver in the sandwich generation: female, married, late 40s, a living parent or parents age 65 or older, at least one dependent child and feeling pressed for time. Luckily for me, because I’m also among the 40% of women who serve as primary breadwinners for their household, I won’t experience the same career and financial setbacks that many caregivers do—at least I hope.
The Census Bureau reports there are 39.6 million eldercare providersin the U.S., and the majority of them are women. According to theNational Alliance for Caregiving and the AARP, 70% of them suffer work-related difficulties as a result of their caregiving roles, with female caregivers in particular at risk of financial hardship. That’s because many women report changing their work arrangements to accommodate their caregiving duties by switching to a less demanding job, taking time off or quitting altogether. I know I’ve considered it. But as a result of women making career changes to accommodate their caregiving responsibilities, they are more likely to lose job-related benefits and suffer lost wages. In fact, a study from MetLife and the National Alliance for Caregiving calculated women lose an estimated $324,044 in wages due to caregiving. Often, a working mother’s time out of the office during her childbearing years is compounded by the time she takes off later to care for her parents. With one in three American women already living in poverty or on the brink, it’s imperative we find a way to support these working mothers and daughters.
So while brunches and spa treatments are certainly welcome on Sunday, May 11, a more meaningful way to honor mothers is to recognize their multifaceted roles as parents, adult children and breadwinners, and to advocate for workplace solutions such as flexible schedules and family leave policies, and access to financial and career planning tools. That’s how we keep mothers at work: allow their mothers to age with dignity and raise the next generation of compassionate caregivers. And what mother wouldn’t want that on Mother’s Day?
Liz O’Donnell is the author of the book Mogul, Mom & Maid: the Balancing Act of the Modern Woman and founder of Hello Ladies, named one of the top 100 websites for women byForbes and a Best of the Net by Working Mother Magazine.
♥♥♥
Readers: Is this write speaking to you? What do you want on Mother’s Day?
Blog me. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms (aka: Wonderful Women Of The World) out there! xox
Peace & Love…
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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May 11th, 2014 at 2:07 pm
To all of you wonderful women who happen to be mothers as well, “ HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY” to each and everyone of you.
Last night I viewed a program on the History Channel #2, about the 1%er’s and global politics. They feel they are God-like and are responsible for the welfare of the planet (most of the bil’s do). That it is up to them to control almost every aspect of our lives. Particularly the size of the planet’s population.
Thankfully, we still have the right to vote, free speech, and the right to bear arms. The power of these billionaires is frightening, especially when they combine forces.
The E-mail below came to me this morning, it is an update on the fight to save Net Neutrality. There are many informative links from the status of this issue and how you can help.
UPDATE: The fight to save Internet equality
The FCC is meeting this Thursday to consider Chairman Tom Wheeler’s proposal to put the final nail in the coffin of Net Neutrality. We wanted to update you on where things stand.
The good news is that there’s tremendous momentum in the fight to stop the corporate takeover of the Internet.
Over 300,000 CREDO activists have joined you in signing petitions to the FCC telling them to stop the corporate takeover of the Internet.
Click here to find easy ways to spread the word to your friends and family about this important issue.
In addition, over 803 of you have called Chairman Wheeler opposing his plan and over 3,000 have called Senate Democrats asking them to oppose Wheeler’s plan to end Net Neutrality.
And CREDO is part of a large coalition of groups including our friends at Demand Progress, Color of Change, Fight for the Future, MoveOn, Progressive Change Campaign Committee, Free Press and Democracy for America (among many others) that are speaking with one voice about the need to reclassify broadband to preserve Net Neutrality.
This activism is bearing fruit.
On Wednesday, two FCC commissioners who support strong Net Neutrality rules voiced concerns about Chairman Wheeler’s proposal, both of whom explicitly noting the torrents of emails and calls that have flooded the agency by those concerned that the chairman’s plan spelled the death of Net Neutrality.
And on Friday, 11 senators led by Oregon’s Ron Wyden sent a strong missive to Chairman Wheeler rejecting his plan and urging him explicitly to consider reclassifying broadband. Some highlights of their letter:
Changing the rules – to let broadband Internet Service Providers (ISPs) demand payment from websites and app developers – would eradicate Net Neutrality, not preserve it. Any time one group of packets is favored on an IP network the rest of the traffic is, by definition, discriminated against. Given the current state of congestion the ISPs have allowed to develop at their interconnections with the Internet, any discrimination results in a degradation or blocking of services to the consumer – services the consumer has paid for.
[…]
The time has come for the FCC to adopt Net Neutrality rules that provide clear, strong protections for the Open Internet and all Americans, once and for all.
Other signers of this letter include: Sens. Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Al Franken, Jeff Merkley, Ed Markey, Kirsten Gillibrand, Cory Booker, Richard Blumenthal, Chuck Schumer and Barbara Boxer.
On top of all of this, over 100 Internet companies including heavyweights like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Twitter, Yahoo and eBay wrote a letter to the FCC this week supporting a “free and open Internet” and saying that strong anti-discrimination rules are “essential for the future of the Internet.” These companies took strong aim at the chairman’s proposal, saying:
According to recent news reports, the Commission intends to propose rules that would enable phone and cable Internet service providers to discriminate both technically and financially against Internet companies and to impose new tolls on them. If these reports are correct, this represents a grave threat to the Internet
Now we need to keep the momentum going.
Activists with Fight for the Future’s “Occupy the FCC” campaign have already camped outside the FCC building in Washington, DC (and will be there through Thursday), and CREDO activists will be joining their daily solidarity rallies at noon and 5pm.
And on Thursday morning, there’ll be a big rally at the FCC while the commission is debating Chairman Wheeler’s proposal.
Meanwhile, we’ll continue to send calls to the FCC and Congress to put a stop to the corporate takeover of the Internet.
Whatever the outcome this Thursday, there’ll doubtlessly be a lot of work to do. It’s now or never for Net Neutrality, and your activism really matters.
Becky Bond, Political Director
CREDO Action from Working Assets
May 11th, 2014 at 2:12 pm
Well, None of the links came out. Wonder what happened? HAPPY MOTHERS DAY ladies.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:24 am
I took my mother out for dinner and a play. The dinner was great, the movie sucked, but being with my mother was great.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:32 am
“What I really ‘want’ for Mother’s Day is a sunny day with my three wonderful children, all in their 20s, helping me do the ‘big stuff’ in my garden. I don’t want them to spend any money on me — they don’t have it to spend! I don’t want something I have to dust, or even a gift certificate. I’d like it if we all shared some laughs, threw some burgers on the grill, and everybody tidied up afterward. I’d like everyone to hug each other before they left … I’d go to sleep so happy and peacefully, with a blessing like that — which is actually not so different from any other time they visit.”
May 12th, 2014 at 6:35 am
Christopher you are so right. The 1% think they can control us because they have bought and paid for S.T.A.R.K. on SCOTUS.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:40 am
I have three boys and a daughter. They come over every Mother’s day. My daughter cooks dinner. The three boys sit around and drink my liquor and play cards.
When the dinner is served they eat without waiting for me to join them and then they kiss me and say “luv ya” and leave.
Yesterday, I locked them out and took my daughter shopping with some of the money I planned to leave to them. It was one of the happiest Mother’s days I have had in 10 years.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:42 am
I agree Christopher#1, we have the power of the vote. Let’s hope November 14 reflects that we used it wisely.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:43 am
I have two children, ages 12 and 15. “For one day, I’d like the things that would make my life easier: When there are dirty dishes on the counter, wash them. When I ask what sounds good for dinner, answer with something not just ‘I don’t know’ or ‘Whatever.’ If you have to step over it to get where you’re going, pick it up and put it away. If you use the last of the milk, tell me. On the way to school is too late for me to wash your PE clothes. A day where I do not need to orchestrate the cleaning, washing, cooking, homework would be heavenly.”
May 12th, 2014 at 6:45 am
“Having my car payment and the rest of my rental deposit caught up, not having to worry about where I would get the money for groceries for me and my daughter and oh yeah, did I mention a microwave?! And a whole carefree day to spend with my daughter and my mother going out to eat and maybe a little shopping. I want just a few simple things. As a single mother, the simple things make my life easier.
Breakfast in Bed for Mom
May 12th, 2014 at 6:46 am
Mom, I can’t even imagine how proud you are of me for remembering to send you a mother’s day card.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:47 am
Eh, my mom wants flowers and a card. Like she’ll be super very cranky if I don’t get her those. So, like all things general, know your mom before you ditch the flowers.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:50 am
What do I give her? I live 7 hours away from my mom and am not seeing her for Mothers’ Day. I’m really bad at gifts and I can’t come up with anything better than an Amazon gift certificate.
Hey, mom. I know you read this. Love ya.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:54 am
Being the father of a six year old, I have this advice.—husbands of mothers with small children (once the kids fly the coop, I’m guessing “mom” is looking for a card or phone call, not meals or time).
That said, I know my son’s mom wants a day off and I’m the only one that can really give that to her. So I’m taking her out for a movie and leaving her 24/7 with the baby sitter. It’s hard for me to believe some fathers try to skate by with just flowers.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:55 am
My kids are in college. The absolute best gift is when the kids are home on Mother’s Day. We have a tradition of a family out: either the botanical gardens or an old house tour that started before my youngest was born. Having them home for that would be glorious.
May 12th, 2014 at 6:56 am
I’m a mom, here’s what I want: a helper to run up and down the stairs taking stuff to the garage or recycling while I’m reorganizing the office.
Now…if no one lives in town to do that…I would suggest pre-pay an hour or two of a trustworthy helper or handyman. (This is great for the single mom.)
Barring all that, Amazing gift cards work.
May 12th, 2014 at 8:34 am
My mother got a call, we’re not close and I’m totally fine with that, she’s an old school sexist, we’re very nice to each other but she was original ‘sandwich mom’ and my grandmother lived with us, it was awesome…my mother went out with my sister, good for her…
My daughter gave me a card with a long letter inside, and a gift cert for that massage, nice bc I wasn’t expecting that. Brunch with x MIL and old pals, it was on the beach on a gorgeous day, so I was happy : )
Sorry, forgot commenter name though I did this to solve that perpetual ‘let mom do it’ mythology issue. If I ask my girl to clean the counter, put away this n that, etc and the answer is no or later or something other than yes, I say okay just know that that will be my answer to your next requests…hmmm, she no like that, so she’s got a clean room, and things get done when I ask or no rides, no this n that, and I follow through.
Try it, you’ll like it (and it’s empowering for both/all of you in the long run)
Luv, Zen Lill
May 12th, 2014 at 11:28 am
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