How to Get Your Parents to Open Up About Their Finances
Posted by Michelle Moquin on April 15th, 2009
I know this can be a really touchy subject with everyone. I remember years ago going over my parents finances with them, and I am so grateful to say that my parents have it together. Well…at least in regards to their Living Trust, and their Advanced Health Care Directive. That is all in order, but what about their stock portfolio’s? In this economy everyone’s portfolio is suffering. I kind of know how much they have but will it be enough to see them through their last years? I am hoping so, but I really want to be sure.
As I perused through this article, I thought, “Hmm…this article has brought up some really great ways to approach my parents in regards to their money. I really want to be sure that they are financially safe and secure.”
And hey, there are some things here to look at that I never even considered. Such as knowing what to do with the every day stuff that people tend to accumulate over the years, and how my parents are going to get around in the house should they have any physical issues.
We’ve joked about my mother’s stairway and how difficult it may be for her to climb those stairs at some point. It’s easy to joke around when you look at my parents. They are both so young looking and healthy that it is difficult for me to imagine either of them handicapped in any way. But, I have to remember, we never imagined my grandmother needing help either and presently she requires daily aid.
Readers: Do you know everything about your parents finances? Maybe it’s a good time to find out. I think reading this article is a good place to start.
As a financial adviser, I have managed hundreds of millions of dollars for clients. But my own father, a retired railroad foreman, never discussed his finances with me. He didn’t want to burden me — and I never pressed the issue.
Then my 74-year-old dad was found by the police wandering the streets at 4:30 in the morning, confused. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, went directly into a care facility and never returned to his old life.
I had to make wrenching choices about his living situation, his money and his possessions for which I was totally unprepared — because he and I had never spoken about such things.
Based on my personal and professional experience, here are the most common roadblocks put up by parents and other elderly loved ones when you try to discuss their futures — and the strategies to deal with them…
MONEY
Roadblock: Your parents refuse to discuss the details of their financial lives. If you press them, they say, “Don’t worry about us. We’re fine.”
Your immediate goal: To know whether they really are financially safe and secure.
What to do…
- Break the ice by asking for help with your own financial affairs.Say, “Dad, I’m planning to withdraw 5% a year from my portfolio when I retire. Is that realistic? How do you do it?” Asking for your parents’ advice makes it easier for them to drop their guard and open up. It often leads naturally to discussions about their finances.
- Acknowledge that they are in control. Say to your parents, “I appreciate the fact that you’ve done well financially and that you can — and should — handle your affairs now. But if there comes a time in the future when you can’t take care of your investments or other finances by yourselves, who would you like to handle them?”
- Frame the conversation in terms of accountability. If your parents expect you to bear any responsibility for their finances in the future, then you need to have enough information to be faithful to their wishes. Say, “Mom and Dad, if you suddenly become sick and can’t handle your finances, do you expect me to step into a crisis situation blindly? If you can’t open up to me, then don’t make me responsible.”
- Ask your parents to go for a second opinion. If they do open up to you and you’re concerned about their financial situation, reserve direct criticism, which may make them feel inadequate. Instead, say, “I appreciate all the work you’ve done on this. Would you be open to talking to a professional to verify that your thinking is correct here?” I find most parents will reject a son’s or daughter’s financial advice, even if it is sound — but they will accept and implement an identical proposal from a qualified third party, such as a financial planner.
You even might offer to pay for their visit to the planner. Don’t attach conditions, such as requiring them to see a planner of your choosing or letting you sit in on the session.
Helpful: If your parents seem overwhelmed with day-to-day budgeting and bill paying, consider hiring an independent party to help. The American Association of Daily Money Managers is made up of professionals trained to handle budgeting, paperwork and bill paying. Cost: $35 to $100/hour. 877-326-5991, www.aadmm.com.
POSSESSIONS
Roadblock: Your parents complain about, or don’t seem to be keeping up with, the clutter in their home. But they refuse to pare down their possessions or even talk about how they would want their possessions dealt with in a crisis.
Your immediate goal: Make life more manageable for them — and for you — as they age.
After my father was hospitalized for Alzheimer’s, it took me the equivalent of two full workweeks to deal with his property. Example: He had hundreds of high-quality tools. I had no idea which ones he wanted to sell or give to family members or friends.
What to do…
- Initiate a conversation about belongings as soon as you get clues that your parents may be open to it. Typically, the signal is a comment such as, “I can never find anything in this mess,” or “I would like you to have my ring someday.”
- Your response: ”Mom and Dad, why don’t you tell me what crosses your mind when you think about what to do with all your stuff in the future?” To start the winnowing-down process, say, “If you had to move next month, what would you keep with you forever? What would you put in storage? What would you give away or sell?”
- Address faulty solutions. Elderly people generally offer two rationalizations to avoid dealing in a constructive way with being overloaded with belongings…
“We’ll have a big tag sale one of these days.” Your response: ”Sorting through a lifetime of possessions, including cherished keepsakes, is going to take a lot of energy and emotion. You’ll need plenty of time to do it right.”
“If the time comes to move, we’ll have the Salvation Army take what we don’t want.” Your response: ”Charities no longer act as haul-away services. They’ve become very picky about what they will transport from your home.”
- Ask them to help take a huge weight off your shoulders. Say, “Mom and Dad, it will be so much harder if I have to go through all your belongings in the future myself.”
Rule of thumb: It’s natural that your parents will want to keep everything. However, I’ve found that elders who are downsizing decades of clutter generally need to get rid of one-half to two-thirds of their possessions to make a serious difference in the quality of their lives.
HOUSE
Roadblock: Your parents insist that they plan to remain in their home forever. You know that this may take some real planning — if it’s possible at all.
Your immediate goal: To make sure that they can handle the responsibility of staying in place as they age and that their living environment is safe.
What to do…
- Acknowledge that you really want what they want. Say, “I’d hate to have to give up my home and move to a smaller place or a care facility. In order to stay here, what changes would you be open to? For example, what would you do if it became difficult to go up and down the stairs?”
Helpful: Your local Area Agency on Aging. This organization helps older adults remain in their homes, aided by services if necessary. Contact: The National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, 202-872-0888,www.n4a.org. Also: Universal Designers and Consultants offers information about adapting homes for easier living by seniors atwww.universaldesign.com.
- Point out realities. It is common for parents to say, “We’ve got family and friends who could stop by and check on us if we ever needed it.” Your response: ”Yes, you will be checked on some of the time, but there won’t be visitors dropping by all the time, and visitors may not want that responsibility.”
- Accentuate the positive. Instead of focusing on limitations, focus on new possibilities. Say, “You don’t have to ever move to a smaller place, but consider how freeing an apartment would be. You wouldn’t have to worry about constant upkeep.” Or, “The extra money you would have after selling your house and buying an apartment would provide you with more security.”
ESTATE PLANNING
Roadblock: Parents usually can be convinced to write a will, but getting them to update their estate plan as the years go by is surprisingly difficult. They say, “Our attorney is taking care of it,” or “Why are you so eager to make sure our will is up-to-date?”
Your immediate goal: Making sure their estate plan is current, especially if there is a major tax-law change or a death or change in marital status of a family member. My long experience with estate attorneys is that they tend to be short on follow-up unless the client initiates contact.
What to do…
- Phrase the task of updating their plans in terms of making your job easier. Say, “Dad, I know you’ve done a good job planning your estate. In your view, is there anything that needs to be changed that would make my job (or insert the name of the appropriate party) as the executor easier?”
Important: If your parents are threatened or offended by your interest in their will and other estate documents, say, “I’m sorry that you’ve interpreted what I said as eagerness to get your money. My eagerness is to make sure that your affairs are the way you want them, regardless of the money.”
Helpful: The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys offers the latest news on legal issues affecting the elderly and can assist in finding an elder-law attorney in your area. 520-881-4005, www.naela.org.
That’s it. Thoughts? Ideas? Something to add? As usual, blog me.
~~~~~~~~
Anita: Sorry to hear that, but obviously your husband was letting the little head overrule the big head. Now he doesn’t need to worry about doing that anymore. I think he screwed over the wrong woman by screwing the wrong woman if you get my drift.
Susan and Anonymous: Whenever I peruse the web, I still see a lot of write on Ms. Palin but I haven’t given her any of my time. I could use a bit more amusement in my reading – maybe I’ll check her out.
Speaking of amusement….Zen Lill: I had to laugh about the evolution of the institution of marriage. It reminded me of the e-mail that you sent me the other day about women over 40, Andy Rooney’s take on it in response to men saying, “Why buy the whole cow when you can get the milk for free?”: “Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!” Just a reminder of maybe why you’re feeling that way. Hahahaha! I just love that! Thanks again for sending to me.
I’m sure we will talk. I stayed home in bed Monday so I am am making up the hours. Still not 100%, but working on it. This thing going around mixed in with all of the pollen flyng around is hell.
Ok….got to run. Peace out peeps…
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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April 15th, 2009 at 9:18 am
hahaha…yes, that whole pig thing was very funny : ) glad it amused you as much as it amused me.
I was planning to call you this aft…and may still be able to, have a pal in from Singapore, she’s moving here in June! & another friend is displaying art at a Santa Monica gallery and I want to do a drop in and check it out, love her work from 20 yards away but up close it’s always been too much for me, maybe an airport hanger as gallery will finally do it the justice it deserves : ) tee hee…
This article is a good one, could have used it ten years ago after my father died and my mother was kind of clueless about things, except that she’s dying in that house, and good on her…my sister keeps telling me I need to talk her out of it. #1-why don’t YOU talk her out of it, is my question (I’m much more diplo than my sister, that’s why) and #2-what’s so wrong with that thought if she can handle it, and she can as we’ve discussed changes that might occur in years to come #3- I told her all bets are off if dementia/Alzheimers sets in and at that point I will step in…she agreed. I know the atty’s # for all financial stuff, have a good estimate of what she’s stashing under that pillow : ) but this is a difficult convo, most parents hear ‘so what shoud I do when you DIE?’ and that’s painful so your compassionate wording or I think I used casual (and witty) wording to get the thing going. Good luck…it’s not the easiest talk to have.
Ok, rolling out of here now…Zen Lill
April 15th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
The more I learn about the depths men will sink to to satisfy that tiny sausage, the more I think Madaline is correct and we should slaughter the whole lot of pigs.
Today it came to my attention that Fernando Armondo Lugo Mendez who is the President of Paraguay fathered a two year old child by a then sixteen year old girl. He admits fathering the child. So he says he should be forgiven. However when he fathered the child he was a 47 year old man who was a BISHOP of the Catholic church.
Where is the outrage? Have women become so accustomed to being rugs for the feet of men that we have no outrage to their sickness?
Juanita
April 15th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Thank you Michelle for the above article. i had my mother and father read it. They finally agreed to get it together. Oh, yeah, my mother said that she will be a regular. She likes your blog. I told her to get started on the archives. She is an old Star Trek fan.
She is so excited about the new Star Trek movie coming in May. I hope he aliens come back before then. We could use some of their insight and witty repartee.
Barbara
April 15th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Juanita, I am a catholic. I was hurt by someone who wrote in a while back insinuating that catholic women who supported the catholic church while it wouldn’t allow women to be priests were stupid.
After looking up your article on ex bishop Mendez, I am ashamed that I was hurt. I will never give another cent to the catholic church as long as men hold total control of the church. It needs women to give it soul.
Sonja
April 16th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Maxim Billiards
Qualifiers–Women’s World 10-Ball Championship
Maxim Billiards – Rockmart,GA,USA
I’m part Filipino, so it will be a big honor for me to go represent Guam and Philippines both.” said Shanelle Loraine, one of the rising pro-am stars of the …
See all stories on this topic Qualifiers–Women’s World 10-Ball Championship
April 16th, 2009 at 12:17 am
Hafa adai
This has to be taken seriously. The brown snake has taken over Guam.
___________________________________________________________________________
Warning: The back half of this paragraph may creep you out a little bit. The brown tree snake has a bad reputation, and it’s really earned one. As one of nature’s most storied invaders — they’ve had two books published on them in recent years (here and here), and I’d say they’re about due for a major motion picture. Brown tree snakes are nocturnal, fairly aggressive, mildly venomous, and semi-aquatic. And according to their growing folklore on the island of Guam, they’ve been known to curl up in the toilet (picture here) and nip at peoples’ rear ends at a particularly vulnerable moment.
The brown tree snakes have completely taken over on Guam. Believed to have arrived from the Admiralty Islands, New Guinea, or Australia in the holds of post-World War II cargo ships, the snakes conquered an ecosystem where there were no natural enemies. They ate every bird egg available; now Guam is a tropical paradise with almost no tropical birds. The snakes have also devoured native geckos, lizards, and other reptiles. There are an estimated two million brown tree snakes living on Guam’s 136,000 acres. They outnumber people by about twelve to one. About twenty years ago, they started causing regular power outages by shorting themselves out on the island’s antiquated electrical grid.
Thanks to the snake, Guam’s ecosystem is largely a write-off. But this nuisance species has also made sea or air travel a nuisance: Every cargo container, every airplane wheel well, and every corner of every ship or aircraft leaving Guam has to be scoured for stowaway snakes trying to leave Guam the same way they arrived. Personnel from the U.S. Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) patrol docks and runways, deploy search dogs, and otherwise stay vigilant (on our dime) to make sure that Guam’s tragedy isn’t repeated elsewhere in the Pacific. In 2004, Hawaii Congressman Ed Case said that APHIS stops between 6,000 and 7,000 stowaway reptiles a year.
Like Guam, Hawaii has no natural predators for the snakes, and would be particularly vulnerable to a snake-based ecological disaster. Guam-to-Hawaii flights have reported several snakes-on-a-plane in recent years, but it’s believed Hawaii remains un-colonized.
The saga of the brown tree snake is an almost inevitable result of global commerce. Asian Longhorn Beetles are native to China, and since the late 1990s they’ve hitchhiked on cargo ships to infest trees in the U.S., Canada, and Europe. The beetles bore holes and lay eggs in hardwood trees — mostly poplars, maples, willows, and elms. Once infestations are discovered, the trees have to be taken down. First spotted in Brooklyn in 1996, the beetles soon showed up on Long Island, in New York’s Central Park, New Jersey, New England, Chicago, and Toronto. Infestations were also reported in the UK, Austria, and Germany. APHIS has experimented with insecticides and fungi to try and kill the beetles off, but one of the most effective tools has been tree-listeners. Yes, people who listen to trees. Hearing the telltale buzzing from a tree is the only sure way for early detection of a beetle-infested tree.
There’s a waterborne invader that’s not only an ecological threat, but it’s downright bizarre. The Asian Carp has colonized the Illinois River. Asian carp are big fish — twelve pounds or more, with a record size of about 60 pounds. They’ve literally eaten the other fish’s lunch in the Illinois River, and they’ve done the same thing in the Mississippi system, having likely gotten their start on catfish farms, where they were imported to eat algae. Here’s the bizarre part: Asian carp go nuts when they sense the noise and vibrations of boat engines, and can propel themselves ten feet or more out of the water. Take a boat on the Illinois River, particularly in the spring, and there’s a good chance you’ll be hit upside the head by an airborne 12-pound fish. CBS reporter Mark Stevenson tried this a few years ago.
Should the carp jump their way into the Great Lakes via the Chicago River, they’ll likely share the water with another invader. Zebra Mussels are native to the Caspian Sea, and arrived in the ballast water of ships. The first North American colonies were found near Detroit in 1988. Zebra mussels have pretty shells, and are about the size of a fingernail. They love fast-moving water, and gravitate toward intake pipes for factories and power plants. By the early 1990s, they were causing small-scale industrial disasters throughout the Great Lakes. This map traces the zebra mussel sightings from the Lakes to the Hudson River, down the Mississippi to New Orleans, and up the Tennessee and Arkansas Rivers as well. While there’s little good to be said about the first three invaders here, zebra mussels have a beneficial side: They’re voracious filter feeders, and have actually helped clean the water in infested areas. Great Lakes fish like yellow perch and the smallmouth bass may actually benefit from sharing the Lakes with these invaders.
None of these stories are new, but after many years, they’re still developing. But they’re all cautionary tales for how easy it is for global commerce and transport to blow some pretty big holes in the web of life.
***
Peter Dykstra is the former executive producer of CNN’s Science, Tech and Weather Unit. He writes three columns for MNN: Media Mayhem on Mondays, Political Habitat on Wednesdays, and Green States on Fridays. (Yes, he writes a lot.)
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Peter
April 16th, 2009 at 12:28 am
How do I love Guam? I’m counting the ways
BY THERESE P. HOWE • FOR PACIFIC DAILY NEWS • APRIL 15, 2009
Guam’s cybercommunity is alive and well, and it’s all about the love, baby. Need proof? Just two relevant facts ought to do it: Googling I Love Guam yields 1.6 million hits vs. I Hate Guam’s 291,000.
We owe the former to the I Love Guam gift company, which tops the list of results for the phrase, as well as to locals worldwide who upload blog posts, photos and videos to the Web.
Nope, not even going to touch the haters.
While local news outlets likely rank highest for online traffic, there are a few Guam-centric Web sites, not including blogs, that offer features that help maintain the love connection to our island home.
Following are some of the most substantive and/or entertaining.
According to the site, Off-Island is hosted by Alex Sian, former Webmaster of the VirtualGuam.com who left Guam for Dallas in 1998.
Although many of the links don’t work or are under construction, such as the list of Guam clubs, Armed Forces Directory and College Student Directory, the features remaining are of enough interest to warrant mentioning the site.
These include the Features section that provides links to “human-interest stories about expatriates from Guam.” It’s an eclectic offering of first-person essays, news stories by Annette Donner, fiction by T.K. Cassidy, and articles by UOG assistant history professor Lawrence J. Cunningham.
More entertaining are the articles found on the College Network, where local students pursuing higher education degrees on the mainland share thoughts and advice. Of the 12 Tips to Surviving the Mainland, for instance, No. 1 is that “Tabasco is not served in movie theatres. So if you ask for some to be put in your popcorn, be prepared to look stupid to the people behind the counter.”
Presented as a public service by Chamorros in San Francisco, according to the site, Chamorro.com is an active site with updated information about events and trends on Guam and Pacific communities in the mainland.
Hafa adai
Anna
April 16th, 2009 at 12:47 am
It looks like the FDA is at it again.
The “All-Natural” Way to Play Penny Pharma
By Jim Nelson
April 15, 2009
The Food and Drug Administration is not looking out for your best interests. In fact, some see the FDA as a group of swindlers, thieves, and propagandists.
No one feels this way more than nutritional supplement companies. And rightly so…
Until a 1996 piece of legislation, the FDA ruled the supplement industry with an iron fist. If a pharmaceutical company developed a drug that performed the same remedy or other function as a supplement or vitamin, the FDA would approve the drug and ban the supplement nine out of 10 times.
April 16th, 2009 at 12:51 am
I can’t believe the tea bag bullshit of the repugnant party sponsored. Bigots, racists, and just stupid people out to show what a bunch of fools can be motivated to do.
April 16th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Where were these people when Bush wanted to invade Iraq? Where were they when Bush was spending like a drunken sailor the last 8 years. I’ll tell you, riding around with “support the troops” stickers on their cars and spending their Bush refund checks. Where do they think the money comes from to support the troops and pay for that trillion dollar war? TAXES!!
This spectacle day had nothing what so ever to do with taxes or government spending AND everything to do with their anger that Obama is President. Sour grapes from a bunch of sore losers.
April 16th, 2009 at 12:58 am
I agree.Anon10…the small Govt yahoos had their chance with Bush. He GREW govt as well. Obama has one thing going for him – time. He has four years to work his plan (maybe 8 depending on his results). He’ll either be looked at as the greatest leader our country has ever had or the second coming of Jimmy Carter. Time will tell. I think we are all hoping for the first option.
April 16th, 2009 at 12:58 am
Check ou this nutbag:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxN5kHWIgms
April 16th, 2009 at 5:40 am
Mona, we mostly saw white people at those “tea bag” demostrations because they are bigots and racists. The only America they love is the one they love, and a very narrow minded view of that America. I love small town America, but it is a place where time stands still.
I am so happy I will not be able to hear my fellow white friends gloat about how they know nothing about the sensitivities of black people because they grew up in a white only town. That is done. Every day a black man and his family comes into their living rooms via the White House.
Perhaps that is why the right is so livid. White men can no longer hold out that stereotype that only white men can think well enough to lead America.
Sheri
April 16th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Several of the founding fathers were athiests so they were not setting up a country for a particular religion. They wanted a country with freedom for every religion and freedom of no religion as well.
April 16th, 2009 at 5:42 am
It’s amazing how things have been changing in less than 100 days. Everything has been declared President Bush’s fault. You people don’t seem to realize that he is not President anymore, and that in the history of the U.S. no new President blames the previous one, only Mr. Obama Hussein has been doing it since day #1. I also thought that in this country where a Democracy has been instituted with freedom and liberty for all, every American has a right to complain, disagree and express their free opinions, not just a few. We have to see how your liberal news personnel post lies and inuendos, but noone can complain if the people of the U.S. is fed up with high government spending, and high taxes for the benefit of a few. We are amazed that with a Socialist-liberal Democrat Senate and many the same Representatives the “system” has been enforcing laws and the people have no rights to complain about it? I only hope that you people come to the realization that the “Tea Parties” are here to stay. The people will continue to complain and those that go against it, who have the same rights if not more will also be there. The difference: they get paid for standing against other Americans. Those that participated today in their rights did it of their free will.
April 16th, 2009 at 5:49 am
Anon15, economies don’t go into the tank suddenly… the seeds are sown over many years. The libertarian disguised as capitalist regime of the last eight years did this to us. Bush did this to us. Cheney did this to us.
We just get a chance to fix it slowly and to re-regulate the high fliers and separate banking from investment again. The inventors and speculators of and in derivates and credit default swaps set this off, and did it on Bush’s not-watching anyone. We simply get to do what we can do. It’s nice to think we may even have a President who’s smarter than both of us.
As for taxes, if Obama gets his way taxes on the richest of the richest of us will be lower than they were under Reagan, and way lower than 1948. We have the lowest rates of taxation in this country of any industrialized nation. We’ve got it good. Some of us can afford more. We can eliminate the accumulated deficit by taxing the beneficiaries of it: the 10% of the people who own 90% of the wealth.
April 16th, 2009 at 5:56 am
I do not know where you were Anon15 for the past 8 years but the Republicans have been blaming everything on FDR, Clinton and Carter since Bush took office, Obama has not been blaming Bush for the mess we are in, the American people have been blaming Bush and for good reason.
He got more than a trillion dollar surplus from President Clinton when he took over. He promptly spent that and charged another $2 trillion to the American people. He and that other chicken hawk Cheney drug us into two wars and managed neither well.
He botched every natural disaster the came on his watch. And deregulated everything from food to money we buy the food with. What are we supposed to do kiss his ass?
Mark
April 16th, 2009 at 5:56 am
It is obvious this is a right-wing anti-Obama action having little or nothing to do with taxes. The sign “This is a Christian nation” would offend Jesus himself, who believed in the separation of church and state
April 16th, 2009 at 5:57 am
May I ask you why you call the “tea party” demonstrations “right wing anti-Obama Hussein actions? If you are happy, which you seem to be and you can express your opinion in this forum/blog etc. it’s other peoples same right to complain for what they seem to be fed up with in only less than 100 days. I have suffered committees for the defense of a so-called revolution, persecution, family in jail suffering the hardship of mistreatments, but here people like you complain that terrorists in Guantanamo are mistreated, when they are fed, can attend services of their own religions, have free time and are a burden to the American taxpayer, when they attacked this country and killed thousands of Americans and you seem to not understand that we have rights also to complain about anything and everything. This is a Christian Nation, something Mr. Obama Hussein disclaimed in Europe. Who was he trying to impress? The fact that he is not a Christian, but maybe a muslim, does not affect anyone, but he must and should respect the history of this land where as a Christian nation it was created and it will survive the present attacks. Have you read the Constitution? If you don’t know what you are saying but only like to complain, that’s your right. But please make sure you don’t use blasphemy mentioning Jesus Christ with your mouth.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:01 am
Anon19, anyone who deliberately inflames hatred by distorting our president’s name in such a way does not deserve to call themselves a Christian. And anyone who still believes our president is a Muslim (and so what if he was, but he isn’t) should do a little more reading and a little less knee-jerk hating before spouting off their extreme right-wing views.
You have every right to SAY what you want to say, which includes the right to show your absolute ignorance and lack of free will to actually think. That is exactly what is wrong with those at the so-called “tea party” demonstrations. They don’t even know what they are demonstrating against.
You are angry, hating racists who call yourselves Christians. It’s almost funny. Almost. The entire intent of those demonstrations is to have a free-speech zone to express hatred against Obama. That’s it.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Some of my forefathers helped found this nation. They were not Christians and they did not help found a Christian Nation as you define it.
I have read the constitution and it stands for keeping religion out of government and government out of religion. You might not like that but, as they say, where I grew up, “them’s the facts”.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:03 am
Who is this Mr. Obama Hussein? Distorting our president’s name is so obvoiusly an attempt to inflame hatred for an ‘un-Christian’ sounding name (as in Sadam Hussein) that it should embarrass the reasonable men and women among us. .
Our president’s name is Barack Hussein Obama. God bless him, which I believe He does, just as He does not bless those who resort to hate and prejudice and fear and ignorance. The New Testament tells us to turn away from exclusion, to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. If anything, it preaches socialism as it has seldom, if ever, been practiced to date.
Those of you who call yourselves Christians and patriots might do well to consider that.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:05 am
I agree, why argue with stupidity.
The sign that read “Obama speak for yourself, we’re a Christian Nation”. That person needs a reality check and true understanding for what Christ stood for when he was here, and what his words continue to say.
These people use this event for one reason, and that is to show their resentent and hatred for president Obama, and what is also sad, most of them out there are just pure copycat. Ask them something about the economy along the political line and I guarantee you that ther answers will be stupid.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Stop picking on the “Teabaggers”:
All they want to do is tell Obama to stop doing things for the working middle class, and start helping the rich, like Bush did for 8 years. Stop cutting our taxes & give the money to the rich, like Bush did. Don’t extend working peoples’ unemployment benefits to the people who lost their jobs, due to Bush’s trickle down policies.
These teabaggers have every right in the world to act like Bozos, and they’re doing an outstanding job of it.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Anon23,
I have heard a common American saying: what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Why do you have a right to complain and we cannot use our rights of freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and freedom of press to proclaim what we believe is right?
Wy are you being so offensive. Who called you stupid and copycat? Did it hurt you to see many
Americans for the first time since 1772 defending their rights in their own country?
April 16th, 2009 at 6:11 am
Anon25 – I bet you weren’t defending the people who protested against Bush’s war in Iraq, were you? Oh no, back then, it is the same people like you, who called anyone who spoke out against ANYTHING traitors who “hated America,” anti-Americans, and every other name in the book.
I’m sure you joined right in with them, because you don’t even know how to follow your own words – “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” And by the way, that “free speech” you so like to mention DOES go for all of us. For those who protested the war and other horrible actions brought about by the Bush administration,
AND for our disdain for those now protesting against Obama after his less than 100 days in office. It is KNEE-JERK, right wing extremism and hatred being displayed at these little tea parties, from people who don’t even know what they’re talking about. It has been funded by right-wing billionaires.
People were not protesting against Bush until he gave them a reason, and continued to do so. You should open your eyes and shut your mouth, because your comments go against everything I have ever read about Christianity when you support the obvious hatred being shown at the tea party rallies.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:13 am
Anon24.
Your post is so sad it’s funny. You are full of greed. You are also full of hatred vs. the working middle class. It must be you live on welfare and don’t need to work. Where is the money being given out by Obama Hussein? It’s been given, as you seem illiterate and don’t read the news correctly in CBS, NBC, MSNBC all government media, to the high corporations to use for their relaxing parties, bonus, and retirement benefits. Also those that should defend the working class are sold out to the “new system”. These “tebaggers as you call us” are not Bozos, they are plain American workers, retirees and young voters that have all the rights in the world under our Constitution to the freedoms you want to enjoy and deny others.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:15 am
Anon27, calling them Bozos is actually polite. I would say delusional and ignorant.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:17 am
They’ve proven that they can amass a large amount of angry people, and get extended media coverage over absolutely nothing. They get messages like “fascist”, “Socialist”, and “no taxes” and whatever else , in what amounts to be one big campaign ad for the republican party.
Now they’ll run on “Too many taxes” and they’ll take back Congress, and then the White House. After that, they’ll start taxing the cr%p out of everybody earning less than $1 million dollars, and driving the country into an even bigger hole than it’s in right now. Brilliant politics on one level, infinite stupidity on another.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:20 am
FYI these Americans will be coming out more and more in hordes to tell the world that something that never happened in this great land of freedom and liberty since 1772 is happening now. Why? Because we have a type of government that offered CHANGE. But never showed an income tax return for the President to be. Never showed a Birth Certificate for him. Never showed that he was a Community Organizer and was not ready to be President. Good talker and better reader but nothing more. He has discredited the U.S. in all of Europe and now Spain wants to take over and condemn our government people from previous years. Where is the respect we always enjoyed from these countries? Everything lost in less than 100 days.. Is that the CHANGE offered? It sounds to be like “the pits”.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:28 am
We are a Christian nation,really huh?WHAT HAPPENED TO FREEDOM OF RELIGION??
Well Jesus seemed to like poor people. Obama wants to help the poor. SO WHY DONT THESE PEOPLE GO VOLUNTEER TO WORK IN A SOUP KITCHEN FOR A DAY AND ACT CHRISTIAN!
There was a tax cut on April first that went to 95% of working Americans. If we were really a Christian Nation we would be acting as the body of Christ would-and we would want to insure sick children, help people get educations, Fix New Orleans,volunteer at Nursing Homes, orphanages! etc,etc! (kind acts)
BUT We are IN FACT A GREEDY NATION!!!!.SO WHEN THEY SAY CHRISTIAN I SUPPOSE THEY MEAN The GEORGE BUSH type”CHRISTIAN”
YOU KNOW THE GUY WHO ALSO ALLOWED ABORTIONS, COMITTED WAR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY, AND KILLED ALL IN THE NAME OF GOD, OH RIGHT,THOSE TYPE OF CHRISTIANS!
FUN FACT- GEORGE BUSH PRAYED DAILY WITH HIS CHRISTIAN MINISTER WHO WAS PREACHING AND RAILING AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY, ALL WHILE HIS PASTOR WAS HIRING MALE PROSTITUTES AND USING METHAMPHETAMINES! HYPOCRITES!
It kinda makes you wander what all those super christian white males are doing when they are doing all that private kneeling and praying alone. Perhaps like their preacher, secretly ogling, and craving each other’s asses. No wander they hate women so much.
I am glad I think for myself. these people are so dumb its scary and FUNNY!
April 16th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Sudden cardiac death linked to antidepressants
Some drugs can be worse than the illnesses they treat.
I’ve always felt very strongly that antidepressants belong in this group. These drugs have a long history of nasty and even deadly side effects, and it seems we’re learning about new ones all the time.
The latest research, published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology, found that women who take antidepressants may face a greater risk of sudden cardiac death.
Now, the researchers say we shouldn’t be so quick to blame this on the drugs. They point out, somewhat rightly, that depressed women are often at greater risk for hypertension and diabetes, and are more likely to smoke. Depression alone is a risk factor for the heart, even in women who don’t have heart disease.
But their numbers do show a strong link between the use of antidepressant drugs – not just the depression – and sudden cardiac death, and that alone is enough to worry me even more. And believe me when I tell you that I was already plenty worried.
Remember, in addition to this new link to sudden cardiac death in women, some antidepressants have also been connected to an increased risk of suicide in younger patients, both male and female. The link is so strong there’s now a black-box warning on a number of the most popular drugs.
And let’s not forget about those side effects, which include nausea, insomnia, diarrhea and sexual side effects, not to mention withdrawal symptoms when trying to get off them. Some antidepressants also contain fluorine, which research around the world has linked to brain damage and degeneration.
So let’s get away from those drugs because they don’t really work in the first place. In many cases, depression is caused by a drop in serotonin levels. Antidepressant drugs don’t help your body make more serotonin, they just toy with how your body treats the serotonin it has, forcing it to stick around in the system longer.
In some cases, these drugs can cause serotonin levels to drop even more in the long-term. What’s more, your body won’t correct that deficiency on its own. It needs help, and the kind of help it needs won’t come from Big Pharma.
From where I sit, there’s simply no reason to fool with these drugs when there are natural, non-drug treatments that really do work. I’ve seen first-hand how tryptophan, B6, B12 and other vitamins can help folks in ways no antidepressant can. Even ordinary exercise has been shown to be as effective as some of the most popular antidepressant drugs.
Exercise won’t improve Big Pharma’s bottom line, but it may go a long way toward improving your depression symptoms. And a walk in the park or a gym membership won’t come with a black box warning.
April 16th, 2009 at 6:33 am
Why can’t I get in? My comment gets this message “Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!”
Michelle you claim to be open to discussion. Yet you censor your commenters.