Creating a Charmed Life #7: “Grow Through The Hard Times” By Victoria Moran
Posted by michellemoquin on August 11th, 2008
I was flipping through the book, ‘Creating a Charmed Life’, by Victoria Moran and the title, ‘Grow Through Hard Times’ caught my interest. So, I want to dedicate this article to some of my friends out there who are having a hard time, and to any of my readers out there who are feeling the same way whether it be in relationships, finances, work, or just what ever in life.
‘This isn’t the end of the story. It’s just a twist in the plot.’
How I really love that quote above. Sometimes people feel like their life is over especially if it has to do with a love lost or finances. It just isn’t true.
Victoria says, ‘All great people have gone through periods of reversal of fortune.’ It may have been a personal crisis of some sort or something bigger…perhaps they have lived through war or a financial depression. Big or small, personally or globally, at that point in their lives, their life felt anything but charmed. If we look at these people’s lives as a whole, we can see how they survived and made it through all of the ups and downs, all of the successes and failures.
But she adds that when it comes to our own lives it is easy to loose sight of our own cycles. ‘Rough times give us selective amnesia.’ When things hit us hard and everything feels like it is snowballing….multiple areas in our life feel like they’re taking a dive….we tend to forget that we’ve lived through this before.
I have to say that we have gone through some pretty rough times before. I remember when Doug and I were so broke one Christmas that they only way we were getting a decent meal was when we attended the many Holiday parties that we were invited to! Hahah! We still laugh about this, and yes we made it through. Selective Amnesia isn’t something we practice. I remember the rough times and I always know that we will prevail. My saying…’We always seem to make it; we will again.’
Victoria says, ‘Difficult times can last longer than they need to because we see them as permanent instead of transient.’ Hmm…I don’t ever recall seeing a difficult time as ‘permanent’ but then I am one who loves change so I welcome it. ‘Transient’…now that word has been one of my favs as it is soo true, and when we realize that life is ‘transient’…And ‘this too shall pass’, then we can say, ‘I don’t mind what happens’. The latter being a bit more difficult, but when one realizes how transient life really is, it makes it easier to accept ‘what is’. This all swings back to the ‘universe looking for random, looking for order…etc.’
Also like my fav writer Eckhart Tolle, Victoria feels that we can get into trouble when we too thoroughly identify with our circumstances. She gives examples of women who get their worth from how they look, have a difficult time during pregnancy or aging. Or people who believe that they don’t have money but that they are their money. Ahh…identifying with form at its best.
‘The more aware you can stay of who you really are – the eternal, unlimited essence of yourself – the easier it will be to deal with the conditions around you that fluctuate all of the time.’ Well said Victoria! In other words, bring your essence forward and have your ego take a back seat.
Accepting change may seem like a conflict to thinking positively sometimes, but it really isn’t. It just means that your are accepting what is and that life operates in a rhythmic, cyclic patterns which includes all of the ups and downs. Expecting the best means excepting the pattern, the larger picture of our life. Take the action necessary to get through it and get the support that you need. And as I wrote about ‘embarrassment’ the other day, what we see as ‘down sides’ in life, can turn out to be the biggest and most precious lessons to learn.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Health info: Who knows if you are a person or someone on auto-pilot. Anyway, I just had to say my two on tardiness. I had a friend whom I no longer see anymore…the first time we didn’t talk was because of her tardiness. The second time was a different reason not worth getting in to.
I do agree with most of what you said and I have tried the fibbing time tactics which sometimes worked but 15 minutes of fib was never enough. This Person was always late, and most of the time very late.
Where I don’t jive with you is the ‘respect’ part. This friend was on time when it came to getting to work. She also traveled out of town quite a bit for work. She always got to the airport in time to catch her plane. Planes don’t wait and after my grace period of 15 minutes, I don’t wait either. My time is precious too and sitting in a bar by myself constantly checking my watch ‘waiting’, to me, was disrespectful. Believe me if the roles were reversed I would’ve been torn a new one every time. That friendship was fun when it worked but otherwise it was too high maintenance.
Hi Mildred: How’s it going? Thanks for forwarding the shark video. The bit about sharks being the host for aliens ‘at all times’ is quite interesting…and the fact that aliens hash out their differences in this manner is even more intriguing. It seems the aliens are fighting two wars: one within the alien world and Unfortunately one against us and they are loosing. A ridiculous thought for some to feel they are a threat to society when the bigger threat is what will happen if they disappear. it seems nothing in the sea will be eatable. Have you talked about this on the Asian blog? Don’t people realize that there is a reason for every being to inhabit this planet? Doug is correct by saying that what we can’t decipher, we try to destroy.
ZL: I am with you…love, love, loved the opening ceremony. Politics aside it was truly one of the most creative, choreographed ceremonies I have ever seen. Creativity aside, trying to show that they are a country of ‘harmony’ and openness’ is going to take a lot more effort on their part than just an Olympic ceremony.
Anonz: How about a photo with that mask? That is just too sci-fi. I gotta see it.
Peace out peeps….Have a good one today and see ya tomorrow.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle ?
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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August 11th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Mischa, I’m convinced now that you are a twin soul (fraternal), apparently separated at birth…this ALL is so right on (though I admit envy about the ‘you and me baby’ aspect you and Doug share, me not got dat) including that tardy bit. I laughed lout loud, I tried that timing trick once (why should I have to play games like this with another adult?) and was left at a bar alone for 20 minutes. I split and was halfway home (so another 15 minutes) and my cell rang and my friend said ‘I’m here, where are you?’ in an almost huffy tone, I told her to get with the program. She did…
Soon after, I nailed her about the way she treated waiter/waitresses, service people in general…again, get with the program, who da fug are you to treat anyone as ‘less than’? I took an outing hiatus for a few months based on this, then she took it seriously. Ok, so I have 2 ‘low tolerance’ areas.
She may not even be talking to me anymore after this week, I just nailed her about her inability to cut men slack, you know, help them out when they’re trying their best to reach out to you (she shut 2 of them down faster than you can say ‘man-hater’ yet she’d like to meet someone, sigh, ok, if you say so) as my old commenter Ed said, men are not hairy women, hahaha…and he is so right. Oh man, I think I might’ve thrown in something about judging people (men) based firstly on their cool possessions and cash flow, too. oh, ouch, and yikes…
But, who’s going to tell her if not me?
Thanks for this one, Mischa, it’s perfect in timing and content.
I opened my join red book today, it was: (red)o, starting over is the bravest kind of starting there is.
yeah, and don’t I know it.
- Zen
August 11th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Hey sweet pea, today you get a mention on my site, I quoted you in bold bc it was a stunning bit of info you left here re: corn/ethanol, thank you for that. http://www.lilliandevin.com/ ‘Our world food supply, the big three: Corn, wheat and rice’ it’s got a part 2 manana, so much info. New pic also ; )
- ZL, your sweetness
August 11th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Sweetness
You can quote me anytime. I love to be on your lips. I added the pic to my dream girl book. The girl who has almost everything; looks, brains, gift of gab, sense of sensitivity, and feel for fairness. So what is she missing?
Why me of course. Let’s give that to her world. Come on, be real, she deserves me.
Michelle
If I let you see it, you would know who I was. I will send it to you after my surgery. I would have sent ti to My Sweetness, but I intend to send her the new face with the old bod attached.
Speaking of surgery, I know that it could be dangerous before the election, or perhaps even more so if Obama should win. But I intend to wait until after the election. I have a lot to say and I want to say it while it matters.
Sweetness
I read your blog. Great topic. and yes you are my sweetness.
Anonz
August 12th, 2008 at 2:48 am
RED ALERT ON RED MEAT-RICH DIETS
A thick, juicy steak sizzling on the grill… it’s as American as apple pie — but definitely not as wholesome. Several recent studies have flagged health risks for those eating red meat more than five times a week. One linked increased consumption of red meat and other foods in our “Western-style” diet with a greater likelihood of recurrence of colon cancer while two others, both using data from the large, long-term Nurses’ Health Study and Nurses’ Health Study II, have associated diets heavy in red meat with increased risk of a certain type of breast cancer and, for people with type 2 diabetes, a higher risk of heart disease. Taken on its own, the latest research doesn’t bode well for beef-lovers, but it’s not necessary to live entirely on granola and salad either. It’s all about knowing how to strike the right balance.
CANCER CONNECTIONS… AND MORE
Several recent studies show connections between diets rich in red meats and high cancer risk. Most recently, researchers from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute looked at dietary patterns in 1,009 colon cancer patients, finding that those who ate a Western-style diet loaded with red and processed meats, refined grains, sweets and desserts and fatty foods were 3.2 times more likely to suffer recurrence or death from the disease than those who ate the least amounts of these foods. Another examined the connection between breast cancer and red meat (in this study, beef, pork, lamb and processed meats), tracking more than 90,000 pre-menopausal women over a 12-year period. It found that women eating more than three to five servings of red meat weekly have a 14% higher risk of a particular breast cancer… and those eating more than five servings a week have a “whopping” 42% increased risk compared with those who eat three or fewer servings per week. Previous studies had already assessed the diet in older women (midlife or older) concerning red meat consumption and breast cancer, but this study examined the correlation in a younger group (26 to 46).
Moving on from cancer, another research team evaluated type 2 diabetes and cardiac risk in women who were tracked over a 20-year period. Their findings: A higher consumption of red meat (defined in their study as beef, pork, lamb, hamburger, hot dogs, processed meats and bacon) and heme iron may increase risk of coronary heart disease and death for women with type 2 diabetes, especially postmenopausal women.
SHOULD WE GO VEGETARIAN?
I asked Elizabeth Boham, MD, RD, medical consultant at The UltraWellness Center in Lenox, Massachusetts, about the dangers of a meat-rich diet given these research conclusions, and whether it is prudent to remove meat from our diets.
Dr. Boham first addressed the association of meat consumption and breast cancer. The type linked with increased risk is called hormone-receptor cancer, meaning its tumors have proteins on their surface to which hormones (in this case estrogen and progesterone) can bind. While many of the meat-eating women in this study were also overweight and smoked cigarettes, researchers found that increased meat consumption alone may be an independent risk factor. There are likely several reasons for this, but she suspects one to be the growth hormones that livestock for human consumption are routinely treated with. Indeed, the incidence of hormone receptor-negative cancers has remained fairly stable over the years, but the number of hormone-receptor positive cancers has been on the rise.
Also, processed meats contain preservatives and other chemical additives including nitrites, which are thought to be carcinogens. And yet another potential problem — long cooking times for meat or cooking it at a very high temperature causes changes in the meat that studies have found to be carcinogenic as well. Finally, notes Dr. Boham, people who eat a diet rich in red meat may well be eating fewer of the fruits and vegetables that contain cancer-fighters like fiber, antioxidants and phytochemicals.
The diabetes connection is also a complex one, says Dr. Boham, postulating that it might relate to the type of iron contained in animal products. The body uses two forms of iron — one, contained in animal products such as red meat, poultry and fish, is called heme iron, which the body absorbs and utilizes especially efficiently. The other, non-heme iron, is found mostly in plant foods such as lentils and beans. Heme iron is associated with increased heart disease risk among people with diabetes. Perhaps not coincidentally, some experts feel that higher iron stores in the body play a role in cardiovascular disease in general. The ingestion of heme iron, in those who have excess iron stores, may partly explain the study’s finding that diabetic postmenopausal women, who no longer slough off iron with their monthly periods, are at greater risk for cardiac disease than younger ones.
HERE’S HOW TO KEEP IT HEALTHY
So does red meat need to go the way of trans fats — away altogether? Not really. Dr. Boham assured me that there are ways to enjoy red meat without increasing your health risks. She suggests:
• Seek out grass-fed organic meat without added hormones.
• Watch your portion size — a proper portion size is two to three ounces of cooked lean meat, about the size of a deck of cards. Many steaks at restaurants are double or triple that size.
• Purchase lean cuts of meat and bake, broil or poach rather than fry or charbroil.
• Fill up on salads, vegetables and other foods with lots of fiber — the more appropriate levels of fiber you eat with your meal, the better your digestive system is at moving waste through your intestines and out of the body.
• Shun all processed meats — there is nothing good in them and lots that’s bad.
• Vary your protein intake. Try some vegetarian sources of protein such as beans and tofu. These vegetarian proteins, as well as fish and poultry, are good substitutes for red meat and help you decrease the number of servings that you have per week.
Source(s): ??Elizabeth Boham, MD, RD, medical consultant, The UltraWellness Center, Lenox, Massachusetts.