A Conversation With Mom
Posted by Michelle Moquin on June 18th, 2009
Hello…
I love conversing with older people. They speak with such wisdom and knowingness, and when one gets to a certain age, they either get crotchety and cranky or they let nothing bother them. My grandmother and great aunts were pretty much the latter. And I was blessed to have a few special times when all of them were together and we would just chat it up. I would sit listening intently to all of their stories, of course interjecting with questions as I always wanted to know more. I could kick myself to this day that I never brought a recorder to one of our coffee clutches.
Now my grandmother, who is in her 90′s just isn’t the chatterbox like she use to be; I miss talking and seeing her eyes light up when she was remembering special times…but thankfully my mother is a chip off the ‘ol block…she loves to talk…and I suppose I do too :)
I went out to lunch with my mother yesterday and as usual we were talking away, switching from subject to subject, much like one flips through the television channels. It is just how my family is and I love it. If you’re new in the family you either jump into the flow of conversation or you sit there dumbfounded because just when you are ready to say something we are off on another subject. It takes work to keep up with my family, but as I said, I love it. The conversation is alive and passionate, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Anyhow….Somehow we got onto the subjects of sexism and racism…who knows how we got there….probably my own doing as I am so absorbed in those subjects. My mother being part Filipino, personally experienced racism when she was growing up in North Beach, known as the Italian section of San Francisco. My mother was very different and exotic looking and no one could quite figure out what she was, so they would stare at her which left her feeling uncomfortable many times. She was beautiful too, but at a young age, sometimes all you want is to blend in and be accepted.
We chitchatted a bit more on the subject. I have heard her talk about growing up many times but what I learned next she had never mentioned before. I brought up the fact that racism is a pretty hot topic on my blog. That is when my mother interrupted me (we do that a lot in our family) and told me of a time that her and my father had planned a weekend get-a-way with another couple. No big deal right? Wrong. The other couple was black and they had a tough time finding a hotel that would accept black people. This was in 1969. As much as I know that the Civil Rights movement was in affect, many people still did not want to accept…obviously racism was hanging on then as it still does to this day. As my mother told me this story, I could not help wondering how they felt being turned down and I got a sick feeling in my gut.
So moving on as we do from subject to subject…I learned something else very interesting.
Thirty Five or so years ago my parents were looking to buy some property. They were both working and they both had good credit so they went to the bank to check some things out. The banker told my mother that although she had good credit and an income, they would only be interested in my father’s income and credit. “Why?”, I asked, not knowing where she was going with this. My mother of course asked the same thing 35 years ago and this is what the banker told her. “Mrs Moquin, you are still at a child bearing age, therefore if you decide to have children, you may quit your job and that would be too risky for us so we can only consider your husband for the loan.” (!) You’ve got to be BS’ing me, I said to my mother. “No”, she replied, “He said that to me.”
I never got her to tell me how she reacted further or what happened next, as she had already switched to another ‘story’….
When my parents got divorced around 18 or so years ago, all of their credit cards were labeled Mr & Mrs RA Moquin. My mother went to the bank to get her own credit card with just her name on it and they told her “No”. She didn’t understand. She said, “I am Mrs. RA Moquin. My husband and I are getting a divorce and I just want to get a card in my own name. What the bank said to her next just blew me away. My mother could not get her own credit card with her name on it until she got a ‘note’ from my father saying it was okay! My mother said, “I am Mrs RA Moquin and I pay all of the bills. I am signing the checks.” They still refused her. Sorry , you need a ‘note’. She then said, I’m just going to close the account then.” Nope, can’t do that either. “Your husband has to be the one to close the account.”
My mother left livid, and I am sure words came out of her mouth. My mother is not one to be silent. I guess fruit doesn’t fall too far from the tree. :)
The next day the bank did call and apologize, and offered her a credit card. But still…can you imagine them asking my father to get a ‘note’ from my mother so that he could get a credit card? No, it never would’ve happened in a million years.
This was only 18 years ago. Yes, women have made progress especially in this country, but even here, and without doubt outside of the United States, we have so much further to go.
Readers: Any family stories you would like to share? Blog me.
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Zen Lill and Pearle: Oh…whoever was sending out those racist e-mails are lucky they didn’t send one to me – I would’ve railed on them as I’m sure you did. Pearle – get on that soapbox and vent if you so desire.
And ZL: I know that you mentioned that calling it a ‘buy in’ was not the right verbiage. But your painting, ‘A day in the life of…”, (thanks for the nod:) I can understand why the readers were a bit confused. I have to admit I was a little confused where you were going with it. However, that being said, I know you well enough to speculate your intentions, where others might not.
Anna: Are you still in Guam? I thought you had left already. Anyway, enjoy the food frenzy – it sounds simply fun and delicious! Hafa Adai.
Charles: I think many of us have been guilty of complacency. You have asked the same question that I ask. Now, is time to change and start looking after and standing up for one another.
Hey Peter: I have no idea. Are there blog sites where people can download a picture? I don’t think I am aware of that. Clue me in. And thanks for the video. The documentary looks very interesting. Is it only airing in Guam? I couldn’t find if it is being shown here.
Readers: I’m looking forward to your words of wisdom, your vitriolic vent, your soap box sermon…whatever. Blog me.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:
or click here: “A Day in the life of…”
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June 18th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Safer Household Cleaners
Deirdre Imus
The Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology
Many conventional household cleaning products contain potentially dangerous chemicals. We don’t know if small amounts of these chemicals damage our health, but there are effective cleaners made from nontoxic vegetable-based ingredients that pose no threat…
All-purpose cleaner. Most all-purpose cleaners contain numerous dangerous chemicals, including alkylphenolic compounds, which can interfere with the body’s hormone system, and butyl cellosolve and morpholine, which can damage the liver and kidneys. Nontoxic cleaners include…
Bi-O-Kleen Super Concentrated All Purpose Cleaner & Degreaser, 800-477-0188, http://www.biokleenhome.com.
Ecover All Purpose Cleaner, 800-449-4925, http://www.ecover.com.
Seventh Generation Free & Clear All Purpose Cleaner, 800-456-1191, http://www.seventhgeneration.com.
Imus’ Greening the Cleaning Citrus Sage All Purpose Cleaner, 888-284-4687, http://www.imusranchfoods.com.
Automatic dishwasher detergent. Most dishwasher detergents contain ammonia and chlorine bleach, a chemical combination that can cause respiratory damage when inhaled. Try Seventh Generation Free & Clear Automatic Dishwashing Powder…or Mrs. Meyer’s Automatic Dishwashing Liquid, in lavender, lemon or geranium scents (877-865-1508, http://www.mrsmeyers.com).
Hand dishwashing liquids. These contain petroleum distillates or sodium hydroxide, a chemical better known as lye.
Safer products include Ecover Dishwashing Liquid, with lemon and aloe vera or herbal formula… Seventh Generation Dishwashing Liquid, available in citrus and lavender… Bi-O-Kleen Hand Moisturizing Dishwash Liquid… and Imus’ Greening the Cleaning Hand Dishwashing Liquid.
Oven cleaner. Conventional oven cleaners contain many dangerous chemicals, including benzene, a known carcinogen. Instead, make a paste out of baking soda, dishwashing liquid and a little water. Spread it on the bottom and sides of your oven, and scrub with a scouring pad. Wipe with a damp sponge.
Wood floor cleaner. Wash wood floors with a mixture of three parts warm water to one part distilled white vinegar.
Glass cleaners. Most glass cleaners contain ammonia D, a dangerous toxin that can cause serious respiratory and skin problems. Safer alternatives include Bi-O-Kleen Ammonia Free Glass Cleaner… Ecover Glass & Surface Cleaner…Seventh Generation Free & Clear Glass & Surface Cleaner… and Imus’ Greening the Cleaning Citrus Sage Glass and Window Cleaner.
Laundry detergent. Most laundry detergents contain chemicals that are dangerous to our respiratory and hormone systems, including chlorine bleach, phenol and alkylphenolic compounds. Safer products include Seventh Generation Free & Clear Laundry Powder or Liquid Laundry Detergent… Ecover Laundry Wash… Bi-O-Kleen Laundry Liquid or Powder… and Imus’ Greening the Cleaning Citrus Sage Laundry Detergent.
Fabric softener. Conventional fabric softeners often contain benzyl acetate, a carcinogen, and chloroform, a neurotoxin. Instead, add a tablespoon of distilled white vinegar to the wash.
Grout/mildew cleaner. Make a paste out of lemon juice and baking soda, plus a few pinches of salt. Apply the paste to discolored grout, and let it sit for as long as possible, up to a full day, before washing it off. If your grout still isn’t white, try Bi-O-Kleen Laundry Powder with Oxygen Bleach.
Deirdre Imus, founder and president of The Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology at Hackensack University Medical Center, Hackensack, New Jersey. She is author of Green This! Volume 1: Greening Your Cleaning (Simon & Schuster). She has developed a line of nontoxic cleaning products called Imus’ Greening the Cleaning — all profits are donated to charity. http://www.imusranchfoods.com.
June 18th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
hi Mischa – the ‘buy in’ was really about AWARENESS – men cannot understand unless they become more aware. Once aware then possibly a shift may occur but without or without a male shift of consciousness women need to do what women need to do.
My mother is a sexist – ugh – she has said to me that I’ve done alright fir a girl. Yes, believe it. She’s so lucky she’s old or a whack upside the head would’ve been forthcoming.
Caio, Zen Lill
June 18th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Oh and I love talking to mist older people also, more often than not they have some great and wise things to say. I hope by the time I’m old there’s a renewal of revering the elders : ) g’night, ZL
June 18th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I hope there is someone who can explain to me the reason people choose to write like this too.
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WhY do PeOPle WriTE liKe tHiS? — Guam teacher wants to know
BY MICHELLE DRESBOLD • OASIS NEWS FEATURES • JUNE 19, 2009
Dear Handwriting Doctor,I’m a high school teacher and would like to know what your take is on people who mix both lower case and upper case letters when writing. This often irritates me, as I cannot tell whether or not they know when to capitalize a word. They may think it’s stylish, but I don’t think it’s proper. I enjoy reading your column and would appreciate your expertise on this. Thanks! (Sorry no examples …)
P.S.: Perhaps you can interpret my handwriting too. It’s a bit sloppy though…
Sincerely, “Concerned” in Guam
Dear Concerned,
WhY do PeOPle CoMBiNe UpPeR CaSe aNd LoWer CaSe LettErs wHen TheY WriTE????
There are several reasons why people improperly mix upper and lower case letters. The first reason is, simply, that they are poorly educated and don’t know the rules of written language. However, it’s another story altogether if the writer is educated. Just as their handwriting is a little mixed up and unpredictable, so are their actions. These discombobulated writers are the type that might be your best friend at 4:02 p.m., and then, for no rhyme or reason, snub you at 4:03 p.m.
P.S.: About your handwriting!!! You write: “It’s a bit sloppy though…” Sloppy? You remind me of the person who invites me into her house and says, “Please excuse the mess.” For a second, before I walk through the door, I think: “Hey, she’s a bit like me…we make the beds, we do the dishes, and six months later, we have to start all over again!” But NO…as the door opens, I realize that dust wouldn’t even think of landing within 20 feet of her abode!
In other words, you are a perfectionist. If there is one itty-bitty, teeny-weeny, itsy-bitsy thing out of place … you will find it. Hey, come to think of it, I could use a stickler for details to proofread The Handwriting Doctor column. If that teaching job doesn’t work out … how about giving me a call?
Michelle Dresbold is a nationally known handwriting expert and personality profiler. She is the author of “Sex, Lies, and Handwriting,” published by Simon & Schuster’s Free Press. Mail your doodles, handwritten questions and comments to: The Handwriting Doctor, P.O. Box 1161, Monroeville, PA 15146.
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Hafa adai
Anna
June 19th, 2009 at 6:13 am
Micelle did you get your Guam quarters I sent you? This story is about your Quarter.
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Both Mints Of Guam Quarter Selling Like Hotcakes!
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?GUAM – Sales of both the Denver and Philadelphia mintages of the Guam Quarter are still going strong. A June 17 Numismaster update reports that 9,304 100-coin bags of the P-Mint edition and 8,624 100-coin bags of the D-Mint edition have sold. Meanwhile, 1,431 1,000-coin P-Mint bags and 1,247 1,000-coin D-Mint bags have sold.
Total sales of 100-coin Guam Quarter bags = 17,928
Total sales of 1,000-coin Guam Quarter bags = 2,678
On June 7, Guam News Factor reiterated a Numismaster finding that the Guam Quarter had become the scarcest of the new 2009 quarter designs.
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Hafa adai
Anna
June 19th, 2009 at 6:29 am
8 Cunning New Nigerian Scams Aim to Convince You They’re Real
Nigerian scam artists have wised up to the fact that many of us no longer get taken in by the Nigerian email scam from phony government or bank officials offering to split multi-million dollar fortunes or inheritances, or Nigerian scams involving forged overpayment checks that require us to send untraceable money-wires back to them.
So, they’ve developed new ways to try to convince us that their money-grubbing cons are really genuine.
New variations of the so-called Nigerian 419 scam (named for the section of the Nigerian constitution that deals with this crime) appear almost weekly.
Some of them are pretty clever. But with the right degree of healthy skepticism, you can still see through them.
We’ve got the low-down on three new tricks (or variations of existing Nigerian scams) to help you spot them.
After bogus checks, prepare for forged cash.
Those checks that came with letters telling us we’d won a lottery or had been selected to become mystery shoppers are so yesterday.
Today’s Nigerian scammers try to convince us with the “real” thing — $100 bills.
In a new trick, seen for the first time in Kansas in April this year, a scammer sent $3,000 worth of forged bills to a man and asked him to use it to buy a Moneygram.
The victim had been corresponding by email supposedly with a woman in Nigeria. He received the “cash” from a person claiming to be the woman’s uncle, who asked him to send the Moneygram to her so she could come to the US.
He fell for it, but the forgery was spotted at the Moneygram office.
A few days later, a Nevada man tried the same thing, after receiving $3,000 of forged notes. He was told he could keep $500 and tried to buy a $2,500 Moneygram with the remainder.
Action: Watch out for more of these tricks in the coming months. Bluntly, never send Moneygrams on behalf of someone you don’t know, whether you receive cash or a check.
Piling on the PayPal pressure.
We wrote previously about the use of forged PayPal emails used in Nigerian scams, supposedly confirming that your account has been credited following a sale you made on eBay.
Now it seems that the Nigerian scam crooks have developed a whole suite of “PayPal” messages they send out in swift succession, aimed at forcing you to send the item.
Relying on people’s trust that PayPal is a safe way to do business (which it is, if you use it correctly), the scammers bid for an expensive item you’re selling, then spoof a message to you from the online payment service saying the payment has been received.
Our advice, when this first happened, was to sign on to your PayPal account and check for yourself that the money was in your account.
To get around this, the scammers now send out a message, again claiming to be from PayPal but saying the money will not be credited to your account until you send confirmation, with a tracking number, that the items have been shipped.
If you reply to either of these emails questioning the arrangement, the scammer sends another “PayPal” message threatening to close your account unless you complete the sale.
Action: PayPal doesn’t hold money pending a shipment nor does it threaten account closure in this way. As we previously advised, check your PayPal account. If the money isn’t there, don’t send your sale item.
(Another giveaway, by the way, is that the bogus messages usually have misspellings and poor grammar — Nigerian scam artists haven’t wised up to that yet!)
Here’s “proof” of my story.
As we mentioned at the start, one of the most common, longest-standing Nigerian scams is the invitation to share in some ill-gotten gains.
To get your hands, supposedly, on the dough, you have to either supply personal bank account details (for ID theft) or make a money-wire or credit card payment to get the money released (which, of course, it never is because it doesn’t exist).
To deal with the inevitable skepticism, the scammers often supply a link to a true story, usually about someone (the benefactor) being killed in a road accident.
A variation is the Nigerian scam email message, supposedly from a US soldier who got his or her hands on a slice of Saddam Hussein’s fortune.
Now scammers have knitted together a clever variation of these ruses by pointing to a story about money in Iraq that really has gone missing.
Usually purporting to come from “Sgt. Martin Hems,” this letter points to a BBC story about hidden money in Iraq and the fact that five soldiers were questioned after some of the cache of cash went missing.
Action: Don’t put 2 + 2 together and make 5. Just because there’s a true story doesn’t mean that a claim to be linked to it is true. The money may be missing, but it still isn’t coming your way!
Bottom line — just don’t believe any story that you’re in for a cut of someone else’s fortune. It’s 99.999% unlikely — and you can get a lawyer to check out the remaining 0.001%.
More Nigerian Scams
Every week, scores of reports about Nigerian scams cross our desk.
Other current tricks that are doing the rounds include:
Hacking into Facebook accounts, then sending messages to all the listed friends claiming the account owner is in trouble and asking for cash to be wired for their rescue.
Collecting names and email addresses of people who leave messages on obituary site guestbooks and contacting them with a request for money, supposedly on behalf of the bereaved person.
Sending complimentary messages to bloggers and article authors (both online and in print) as a way of establishing a friendship that, sooner or later, results in a cash-call attached to a tale of woe.
Offering to buy your Internet domain name, then asking you to visit a site (their site) where you have to pay to have it valued.
Using Microsoft Word documents as attachments. These contain details of the scam story but, because they are not in the main body of the email, they often don’t get picked up by phishing and scam detectors in your security software.
The one thing you can be sure of with Nigerian scams is that they may not be worded well, but they are big-time sneaky in the way they try to fool us.
And you can be sure Nigerian scammers will find even more new tricks to test our gullibility. Count on us to help you stay one step ahead!
That’s all we have for today, but we’ll be back next week with another issue. See you then!
June 19th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Hafa adai
It seems that the catholic church is at it again. They have revised the inquisition to put pressure on our legislators to re write Guam’s marriage law. As it is Guam’s marriage law reads “a contract between two people.”
Isn’t that how it should be? Two people, simple. But along come the biggest organized group of professional pedophiles and all around sex offender’s on the planet. That would be catholic priests. I say this as a practicing catholic because it is true.
The catholic church has paid our billions. Billions to settle claims of child molestation, the faithful who have been supporting their parishes with donations for decades have had the church close their doors because the church had to sell their parish to pay for the priest’s deviant sexual habits.
Does the catholic church do anything to address the continual molesting of our children by these butt rustlers? NO! The catholic church is meddling in the happiness of gays.
They are forcing our inane legislatures to re write the law to say “a contract between a man and a woman.” I starting to accept the contention that the catholic church has been one of mankind’s worst influences.
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Senator Blas Introduces Measure To Clarify Guam Marriage Law
Written by Josh Tyquiengco, Pacific News Center – Guam, Saipan, CNMI, Asia-Pacific
Friday, 19 June 2009 17:40
Guam
Guam- Senators Frank Blas Jr. and Tina Muna Barnes have introduced a measure to clarify the definition of marriage.
Senator Blas says his research on Bill 158 was spurred by the Same Sex Civil Union Bill introduced by Senator BJ Cruz, but adds that it is a completely different kind of legislation. Blas mentions that he discovered Guam’s law on marriage needs to updated because it is currently defined as a contract between two persons.
In his proposed bill, Blas states that “Marriage is a personal relation between one male and one female arising out of a civil contract, to which the consent of parties are capable of making that contract necessary. Consent alone will not constitute marriage; it must be followed by solemnization authorized by this Title.”
Blas adds that since the Same Sex Civil Union bill is not calling for gay marriages, proponents of that measure should not have a problem with its intent. To view Bill 158, log on to http://www.guamlegislature.com
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Peter
June 19th, 2009 at 7:51 am
You Can Find the Same Amenities — or Better — at Economy Motel Chains As You Can at More Expensive Chains
Maria Chevalier
BCD Travel
hey can be a good choice for business travelers, as well as for travelers on a budget. Chains such as Days Inn, Econo Lodge, Motel 6, Red Roof Inns, Rodeway Inns, Super 8 and Travelodge are upgrading mattresses and towels. Some are offering loyalty points — redeemable at restaurants such as Denny’s and Olive Garden and merchants such as Blockbuster and Home Depot. The chains usually offer breakfast but no other meals — however, low-cost restaurants are typically nearby. And budget chains often include amenities that more-expensive chains charge for, such as high-speed Internet access.