Women Across The World Speak Out
Posted by michellemoquin on August 26th, 2008
Good Morning. Today is a mish mash of thoughts…
I just received a comment from Fatemeh on my article: ‘Killing in the name of honor’. Fatemeh is an author on a wordpress blog called: Muslimah Media Watch. Fatima, her fellow author, has written a few articles about ‘honor killing’. I found them pretty interesting…Perhaps you will too.
Hello Fatemeh: It seems that you and your fellow authors and readers perspective of ‘honor Killing’ are a bit different, a bit more gentle, when it comes to the Muslim men than the Muslim women that left many comments on my blog that day, including the one yesterday from Ali. (Ali:Thanks for chiming in) Have you read? You somewhat defend the Muslim man. Now I am not saying that all Muslim men are how Ali described them, ‘They are men of small character. They are basically men who have contributed nothing significant to the world. They are the most ignorant group of men on the planet. They are the men who whine the most about the least. They practice a cult that gives them the power to pimp, enslave, and rape their female women and children at will.’ She said more but I think you get my point.
But in regards to the term ‘honor killing’, I do agree that it is a form of domestic violence, but I have to agree with your commentator ‘Forsoothsayer’: ‘while i don’t think that all incidents of domestic violence involving Muslims are honour killings, it is true that women are not being killed because of honour related reasons by any other communities I’ve heard of.’ She has a point here.
And as far as Fatima’s description of Muslim women being set up to look like ‘timid, submissive, brainwashed children’, yes I think the media will and have presented Muslim women as such but I think no such thoughts of Muslim women that way. In fact I think that Muslim women are some of the toughest, smartest women. You would have to be to put up with all of the control etc. I am being ‘nice’ here…I don’t need to go into the characteristics of Muslim male behavior – we all know.
In regards to Ajay Nair’s comments…he is a Muslim man yes? Need I say more?
I will end with that I do agree that violence towards women is not just reserved for Muslim women, but an issue we must address as it is happening to many women in different cultures around the world. I agree with Fatima, it is EXTREMELY important that we recognize that abuse of women is happening in all cultures. Not sure if you read any articles that I wrote following the ‘honor killing’ article, but I have addressed the atrocities that are happening to women in Darfur and Congo as well, and if you continue to read my blog you’ll see that my rants aren’t over yet. Women need to be heard and I am shouting loudly.
Women….any readers: Thoughts?
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Speaking of women…did you hear Michelle Obama’s speech last night at the DNC? I did. I loved it. I was so inspired by the way she talked about change, hope, women, etc. She moved me to a few tears. It wasn’t too over the top or overly dramatic; just honest, open and friendly. She connected to everyone by relating that her and Barack’s upbringing is that of the average American’s upbringing. I loved that she felt so grounded and approachable…someone that I could see myself easily getting into a conversation with and feeling totally comfortable. I think she did a great job, and I was proud to see her up there in her glory. They represent the American dream for many. Too funny that Rachel Maddow from MSNBC kept calling the Obama’s, ‘The Huxtables’. I love that woman’s quick-tongue reporting style.
On a more serious note…The Wall Street poll stated that 1 out of 5 women who were on the bandwagon for Hillary are claiming that they are going to vote for McCain. And ABC’s poll stated that one third of the Clinton supporters are either undecided or they’re voting for McCain. How one, especially women, can go from Hillary to McCain baffles me. Let’s hope Michelle’s speech will influence and inspire them to vote for Obama. Hey, maybe they’ll pull a “Bradley Effect” and flip sides in the booth…This time, and for the first time, the change of minds will be beneficial for the Democrats.
Oh…and loved Michelle’s quote, ‘This time…we listen to our hopes instead of our fears.’ We’ve been motivated by fear from the administration for too long. It is a time of hope and I think everyone feels it…we’re ready for change. In the bigger picture…it is ‘randomness looking for order…’, and Obama happens to be ‘order’.
Ah…one more thing…
Readers: You know that I love getting comments from all of you. I only have one request: Please, although I am given a heads up when a comment is posted, it would be much more fun and interactive for everyone if you my dear readers, who want to make a comment on my past articles, to please post your comment on the present day. Just reference the title and date of the article in your comment and that way other readers besides myself can be in on the conversation and we can keep it contemporary. I will be adding this request to the left hand column in the Blog Rules of Conduct for your future reference. I hope that everyone will comply as it keeps everyone in the loop..and you have to admit, you don’t want to be left out of the loop! – Understood? Anyone want to bitch about this – blog me.
Okay biz done.
Have a beautiful day!
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle ?
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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August 26th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Hi Mischa,
Domestic violence occurs in the US as anywhere else, that’s not the issue. I work with a local LA shelter I know this fact, but the men are not usually avenging broken family honor.
Ali, thanks for the comment on my latest post (half of which I lifted from Mischa and half is my own rant) and like Mischa said there is more to come (way more) I took a break today bc it makes my blood pressure go through the roof be will be back at it Thursday (after my fave day, Wednesday).
Today I made it personal http://www.lilliandevin.com/ ‘There’s something to be said for watching and waiting’ but underlying my personal take is how and where i think Muslim women have their true strength, it takes a lot to be educated, aware that clearly you are equal to a man and yet you must sit and wait for the proper timing to act (if you get to act at all) I’m in awe of that trait. I would be tempted to ‘Lorena Bobbit’ (i.e. cut his penis off, ouch) a man, Muslim or otherwise for physically or emotionally mistreating me or dishonoring me, etc…though I think I’d just leave under the cover of night.
I think Fatima’s commenter said it best, ‘Solace’ – July 8, 2008 – ‘…In the community I live in the attitude towards domestic violence is basically that the man has the right to act out because it his nature to be violent and aggressive. This is the mindset and this is how the they raise their children. Girls should not set their husbands off, they should obey him at all cost. If there is violence, the wife is the cause of it since she did not listen to her husband. Boys, on the other hand, are raised with the idea that they are entitled to act violent and aggressive when things don’t go their way because they are supposed to be the man of the house and what they say goes. A lot of this is based on the wrong interpretation of Quran and hadith. How can this mindset be changed? Education? Even so, definite change won’t be easy and probably not for some generations to come.’
This kind of thinking leads women (and from early girlhood) to believe that if a man acts out, it’s somehow her fault, oh please…as far as I’m concerned that’s just faulty thinking, teaching males/females about personal and societal responsibility for your own behavior is everyone’s job esp their parents (mother and father) no one gender should be the ‘whipping’ post (nor should any animal) what’s wrong with talking and being accountable and responsible beings of equality?
I forget the exact adage but ‘it’s not what happens it’s how we react to it’ so far Muslim men show that they don’t react very well (or react violently and think it’s OK), and when I say Muslim men, I am speaking to the fair percentage that act this way. And yes, unfortunately their behavior is a direct reflection on any Muslim man, even one who treats his wife and family with respect, sorry to say that…
I’m out now…peace, Zen Lill
August 26th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Hi, Michelle. Thanks for linking to us!
Muslim women like myself often find ourself in what I term a “Triple threat” that I talk about in this post:
http://muslimahmediawatch.org/2007/11/26/between-a-rock-and-a-hard-place-triple-threats-and-double-troubles-for-muslim-women/
As a Muslim woman in the West, I’m often called on to “defend” several things: my
religion, my ethnicity, or my gender. A lot of women of color activists find this to be a difficult choice as well: do we work against gender oppression or racial oppression? As a Muslim woman of color, I have those two AND Islamophobia to deal with. It’s a hard line to walk.
Personally, I believe that honor killing IS domestic violence. Thinking that you, as a Man, have a right to do whatever you want to a woman–that’s patriarchy, friend. Not Islam. Not my Islam. Muslim men don’t do this because they’re Muslim, they do this because they are socialized to believe it’s their right as men(the same reason men in the west do what they do to women).
Here’s another post from Sepia Mutiny that might elucidate the point:
http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/005282.html
Also, women ARE being honor killed in non-Muslim communities: many non-Muslim Indian girls and women are killed this way.
August 26th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Points taken Fatimeh : ) the following is lifted from comments on ‘rock and a hard place’
‘…raise awareness and enact change. We have to talk instead of condemn. Muslim communities need to be willing to look at women’s issues as Islamic issues instead of Trojan horses of “evil” Westernization. Non-Muslim communities need to be willing to listen to what we have to say without judging our situation and accept that we know what’s best for ourselves’.
It is an issue that’s between a rock and a hard place, I know little about the true Islam (the religious aspects) but I do know my ME countries and who is Arab or not, better than most Americans (I think). The ‘key’ words/phrases from above, ‘women’s issues’ and the catch 22 of Muslim or Islamic women confronting them before someone speaks for them. ‘Islamic issues’ and mostly ‘evil Westernization’ I’ve read some accounts about Islamic women and Arab women and the know basic differences in ‘cover’ (I lived in Singapore where there were many woman of color, Muslim, non-Muslim Indian, Seikh, etc…) and customs, etc…but not historical accounts and Muhammed did not strike me as a feminist, hardly…at least not as depicted in ‘Nine parts of desire’
If it is a very patriarchal society, as it seems to be, how do you get the communication going if men will negate everything you say? It seems there’s no easy or even reasonable answer…any thoughts? Would you want Western female assistance on this issue or not?
it’s somewhat true, men are socialized similarly in what they can and cannot do to women but there are some differences in Western values and punishment of men who step too far out of line, not enough though, was glad to read Biden is a big proponent of handling deadbeat dads and domestic violence. It’s a start.
Thank you for your input, it’s valuable to learn about women of other cultures and what they deal with daily.
- Zen Lill
August 26th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Zen, thanks for your comments.
Be careful on where you get your information: Nine Parts of Desire is written by a non-Muslim, non-Middle Eastern woman. What does she know about sexuality in the Muslim world? I”m much more interested in what Heba Kotb, an Egyptian sexologist, has to say, for example.
I don’t have The Answers, but many Islamic feminists work within an Islamic framework to legitimize the dialogue of feminism within cultures that view feminism as a “Western thing.” For example, proving that the Qur’an doesn’t allow female genital cutting is one strategy to help reduce this practice in among Muslims (but non-Muslims in Africa also practice this).
August 26th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Understood Fatimeh, Nine parts…was/is fictionalized to make a better novel, I did not read it for non-fiction purposes, but you make a good point, just bc an author of fiction writes it, that doesn’t mean it’s depiction of issues is all based on facts. In that case, I’ll ask this: Do you have any non-fiction reading suggestions for an avid Western woman reader re: the issues you’ve raised. I like to think of myself as somewhat enlightened but I can’t possibly know everything about every issue, not without help : )
Thanks in advance, Zen Lill
August 26th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Sure!
First things first: it’s Fatemeh, not Fatimeh.
Two books that have really done a great job are Fatemeh Keshavarz’ Jasmine and Stars: Reading More Than Lolita in Tehran. Another one is Sherene H. Razack’s Casting Out: The Eviction of Muslims from Western Law and Politics. Both are great books. You should also check out Leila Ahmed, a prominent Egyptian Islamic feminist. Her books are also fantastic.
I think it’s also important to think about where an author is coming from. I wouldn’t read a book on female orgasms written by a man; how could a man write anything authoritative on an experience he doesn’t have? Similarly, I wouldn’t read books about Muslim women by non-Muslim women unless the author has a high degree of scholarship and has proven to understand the viewpoint and complex issues of those she writes about. Muslim women can and do speak for ourselves; I think we’re the best authorities on our experiences and viewpoints. :)
August 27th, 2008 at 1:01 am
THE IMPORTANCE OF A WOMAN’S CYCLE
A woman’s relationship with her menstrual cycle can be complicated, on the one hand connecting her to her feminine power and on the other leaving her feeling resentment at the discomfort and inconvenience it can bring. Since doctors have known for years how to manipulate hormones to prevent menstruation from occurring, it was just a matter of time until a drug company brought that option to market. Seasonale was introduced in 2003 by Barr Pharmaceuticals, and the second generation version, Seasonique, which is said to decrease the incidence of breakthrough bleeding that was a problem with Seasonale, came out in 2006. However, not everyone thinks it is such a great idea to fool Mother Nature by tampering with hormones in this way. While doctors generally see benefit for some women of taking birth control pills to reduce symptoms of PMS, in general more naturally focused practitioners question the wisdom of forcing a woman’s body out of its natural cycles.
Let’s take a moment to consider this. The human body is hormone-driven — everything from growth to sleep to stress management to reproduction depends on normal hormone production and cycling. Over and over again we are learning — too often the hard way — that changing one body system affects every other. Hormones operate in concert, and one slight shift in one can lead to a cascade of unpredictable changes elsewhere. Many doctors and drug companies claim there are no major health risks to interrupting the female menstrual cycle — but honestly, they also said that arsenic and mercury could cure syphilis in the late 1800s… cocaine could treat heroin addiction in the early 1900s… smoking was safe in the 1950s… and Vioxx in the 2000s. The list goes on.
To understand the whole-body impact of extended-cycle pills, I called an obstetrician-gynecologist in California, on faculty at a major academic medical center with a reputation for “expertise” on birth control pills and hormones. Interestingly, she told me that many women had already figured out how to suppress their periods themselves by skipping the placebo pills in their oral contraceptive packs, thereby limiting or avoiding menstruation completely. Since side effect issues are nearly the same with all birth control pills, whether they allow for 12 periods per year or four as these new pills do, the results — and risks — are believed to be the same, she said. Her view — and that of many other mainstream medical practitioners — is that this is perfectly safe. In fact, when I called back for clarification on a few points while writing this story and she realized that I planned to discuss some very real concerns about the wisdom of interfering with a natural process in this way, she refused to speak further on the topic. That’s why she’s not named here — but for the sake of fairness in presenting both perspectives, I am including her comments.
ON THE PLUS SIDE OF HORMONE MANAGEMENT
Frighteningly, there’s little long-range research available on the side effects associated with extended cycle oral contraceptives, but some findings have shown that in general oral contraceptives decrease risk of some cancers — ovarian and endometrial cancers in particular.
On the flip side, the pill tends to decrease testosterone, the hormone that affects muscle strength and stamina, along with libido in many women — but the doctor I spoke with says that she finds most women are so relieved to have reliable birth control it compensates for any drop they might experience in sex drive.
THE IRON DEBATE
One concern about the extended cycle pills, specifically, relates to iron. The menstrual cycle naturally depletes iron stores each month and this might be considered an advantage of the extended cycle pills. Anemia is quite common among menstruating women and being anemic can cause cardiac stress, in addition to creating fatigue and general malaise.
However, other studies have linked iron storage in post-menopausal women, like these non-menstruating women may now have, with increased risk for coronary heart disease (see Daily Health News. Some scientists speculate that women’s lower rate of heart attack when pre-menopausal may in fact stem from the loss of iron each month through menstrual blood, and interfering with that would therefore increase their risk. This question is still unanswered, however, and is likely to be so for some time, though the doctor acknowledges the potential risk.
CONCERNS FROM THE NATUROPATHIC COMMUNITY
While scientists are proud of their achievements and harried women are pleased to have some power over the inconvenience of menstruation, playing with the natural ebb and flow of hormone levels can have unintended consequences. I asked Mark Stengler, ND, author of Bottom Line’s Natural Healing newsletter along with several books on women’s health, about the other bodily changes that might result from a dramatic reduction in menstrual periods. As expected, he has concerns:
• Reducing testosterone can cause fatigue, memory problems and loss of both lean muscle mass and bone mass. Risk for osteoporosis may be elevated.
• Synthetic progesterone, the kind used in birth control pills, is foreign to the human body, and therefore may lead to an imbalance between estrogen and progesterone and theoretically increase the risk of chronic disease. Since hormones operate in concert, altering the balance anywhere can affect everything else, says Dr. Stengler.
• Further imbalances involving adrenal function may distort blood sugar balance, vulnerability to disease and infection, and fluid retention or electrolyte levels.
• Hypothyroid disorders may be created.
PRACTICAL MATTERS
On the purely practical level, another drawback is that the extended cycle pills do not exactly eliminate bleeding, at least not for the first six or so months, a fact confirmed by the gynecologist I interviewed. Breakthrough bleeding is common while the body adjusts, and it is unpredictable and can be quite pronounced. This leads some women to choose to remain on the conventional pills so they at least can plan in advance for their periods.
According to my mainstream gynecology expert, one particular group of women — those with endometriosis — may benefit from the extended cycle pills. Endometriosis is a condition in which the tissue that normally lines the uterus, to be later sloughed off during menstruation, grows outside of the uterus in places like the fallopian tubes or ovaries. Women with endometriosis suffer terrible pain with their periods, so they are grateful to be able to avoid it by taking extended cycle pills. The long-term results of manipulating endometrial tissue in this manner have yet to be evaluated.
The reasons why a woman might consider staving off many of her periods with an extended cycle birth control pill vary, of course, and some may be valid. It’s a less radical intervention than surgery for women who are debilitated by problems related to their menstrual cycle, for sure. But it is not a decision to make lightly or for convenience. Our bodies have their own wisdom and changing things around for convenience may seem a good idea in the short term — but over the long term the consequences may prove such decisions regrettable.
Source(s): ??Mark A. Stengler, ND, a naturopathic physician and leading authority on the practice of alternative and integrated medicine. He is director of the La Jolla Whole Health Clinic, La Jolla, California, and associate clinical professor at the National College of Naturopathic Medicine, Portland, Oregon. He is author of the newsletter Bottom Line Natural Healing.