Flap Your Lips Friday
Posted by Michelle Moquin on June 4th, 2010
A long time ago I was advised, firmly but gently, by the TAO, that I must control my emotions when I am dealing with life matters. The problem, is that I am a very emotional being. I always have been. That’s the good news and the bad news. And when life matters that are important to me, when they are dear to my heart, and I feel empathy or anger from danger or plight, the first thing that I do is cry. I cry because I feel so much, and at times feel helpless, wishing that there were more that I could do.
The reason that I was advised that I must control my emotions is because when one gets emotional and overwhelmed by feelings it is difficult to be levelheaded, which is needed to think clearly. I was advised to address the issue by merging with the situation, and by merging with it, one creates the environment needed for a solution to arise. Don’t waste energy protesting or complaining. Except the ‘isness’ of the moment: This is how it is. Then act from being, not ego. Actually the last two sentences were my additional advice to myself. :) But nonetheless, good advice all around – thank you TAO.
Now, because of my blog, I have much more exposure to world issues and matters. I dive much more deeply into things that touch me deeply. Therefore, I have had to heed this advice or I would mostly be a wet-eyed, tear-stained face, useless mess of a girl, going nowhere, lost in her emotions and drowning in unresolved affairs. Okay…that’s pretty dramatic…so maybe not that bad, but on some issues, yes, I was that bad.
Quick to tears, I still am, but now I don’t let me emotions overwhelm me…well most of the time I don’t. I allow myself a few minutes, no more. And then, like I have said here before, the words, ‘Deal with it’ pops into my head and stop my tears in their tracks. They are words that I say to myself all of the time, else I would be that girl described above a lot more.
And what good would I be to anyone then? Compassion is a wonderful quality that I do pride myself in having. I used to think that if I didn’t emotionally feel…if I didn’t physically feel (tears), I wasn’t compassionate, I wasn’t alive. Compassion alone only goes so far. I have learned that I can still feel really deeply about something, not be overwhelmed by my emotions, and actually do something that can help. To have an impact and create change, compassion needs to be hand in hand with action.
So why am I writing all of this? I got on the Huff Po last night and saw the photos of the animals soaked and matted with oil from the BP spill.
An oil covered seabird sits on the beach at East Grand Terre Island along the coast of Louisiana, June 3. As the Gulf of Mexico oil spill continues to extend, concern is growing for the wildlife that stand in its path, especially since many of the coastal animals are currently in their reproductive seasons.
I posted this photo wondering what was going on in the mind of this bird. One day this bird is in Paradise and the next day in peril, and having no clue as to why. And this morning I can still feel my emotions begin to arise (I am still learning :) I am so familiar with this feeling now; it is the same feelings I get when I receive a PETA catalog in the mail, or read about women being abused.
But now, I can still feel compassionate but I am able to deal with it, and every day I get stronger and stronger, and I learn how to deal with it better and better. And yes, when I am in a calm state accepting the ‘isness’ of the moment, I create the environment for solutions to arise.
But today, as I stare as this photo of this bird matted in oil, I am calm, but I have no solution. I can only feel its pain and confusion…and I wish I was there to give this bird care, and return her to paradise.
Readers: This bird can not flap its wings, but you thankfully can still flap your lips. Does anyone have any solutions for this monstrous disaster that this oil spill is causing? Blog me.
************
Hi Helena: How are you? Nice to hear from you. I have nothing to add to your comment except to say that your point is well said.
Beatrice: Please don’t take this personally as I would say this to anyone asking this request. I am sure that you will understand, once I explain:
If I posted your photo today, everyone else would then blog me expecting me to post theirs. The reason why I posted a photo of Zen Lill is because she has not only been an avid reader of my blog for over two years now, but she is a regular commentator and has a following. If you or anyone else puts the time and dedication that ZL does into my blog and you too have a following, then I would most certainly consider posting your picture. But I am sorry, not until then.
So ladies and gentlemen…readers of my blog, do not e-mail me any photos or send them to me via the post office. I will not be posting them on my blog, nor will I return them. Thank you.
Zen Lill: Well….hey, nice to know I’d be on your radar should that thought ever come to mind :) I liked your comment to ‘Disappointed’ in regards to loving yourself – well said. Speaking of…
Disappointed: I wasn’t sure if Zen Lill was going to ignor you or say something, and I wanted to follow her lead so I withheld my comment to you until now. And since she did, I will give you my two. It seems to me that when a man cuts down a woman as you have, it is not only rude, and disrespectful (What did she do to you to deserve such words?), but what this really tells me is that you know that you’ll never get close to anything as pretty as this woman. That’s what men like yourself do when they know they can’t have it – they cut a woman down like what she has is nothing special (She’s not good enough for me!) They reject before they are rejected. Yeah, that’s your ticket all right.
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my ‘loyal’(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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June 4th, 2010 at 10:02 am
Upon my return from my meeting last night, when I approached you and you were looking at the deplorable pictures you have herein, I couldn’t go there at that time. I did finish my work later after you went to sleep, and ended up looking through all of those pictures. I felt the emotion well and some saline did fall. I have learned over the years to be much like a duck and let things flow over me so that I can be “available” to be present and clear in order, as you say, to be able to act and react. Remember our learning in Nepal…
This picture is the same one that impacted me and got me leaking last night. I also went to the place of what is going on in the final thoughts of this living being. Even as I write this, sitting at the desk, next to Archie, I must maintain…
It is very saddening to see this. We are all “Part of the Machine”. This is the title of a song I penned 25 years ago. We cannot run and hide and sweep these things under one of Sarah Palin’s kitchen rugs. We must find it within ourselves to see beyond the financial aspects of life, as that actually MEANS nothing. The financial system is how most of the pundits and politicians measure the damage and/or success. We must learn from the people of Bhutan.
We must MAKE this a criminal act. We must hold BP, Halliburton and their affiliates accountable despite the economic repercussions that the global society will take. We must do the same for the financial corp as well. It is time to see beyond the financial implications to damage to life. As with or without finance the is still life.
We must respect the life system and the conscious system, not the political or financial systems as these come and go. Life and consciousness are the only things that remain…
June 4th, 2010 at 10:21 am
Oh boy, Misch, this one says it all…I’m still trying to shake off my violent physical reaction to reading The Infidel last night, a very vivid 3-4 pages describing the genital mutilatioion of two girls, 4 and 5 years old, horrifying and I’m thinking right now that as I sit here and write some porr baby girl somewhere is having this done to her and is being held down my some misinformed grandma that thinks this is the right thing to do…I had the dry heaves last night, better now, but between that and this little birdie…oh boy…
Thanks for your follow up to my comment to ‘disappointed’ bc that was the part I didn’t add, didn’t want to seem egotistical. But now, all I can think of is MC Hammer’s ‘Can’t touch this…!’ and that crazy dance in his diaper pants to go with it. So, yes, ‘disappointed’ will always be disappointed, but there’s always Rosie and her 5 sisters to keep him warm at night ; )
To my global sisters I want to ask this: I know you balk at needing or wanting a Western sisters help, but if there was something I could do to help, not pity/charity or some lame thing to make myself feel better, but to truly help you, what do you imagine it would be…I would like to know bc that scene I read last night still has me outraged, shaken and saddened for the little girls of the world. Is not doing biz with the men of yoru country enough? (good start) but this gruesome scene was orchestrated by an older women, the supposedly wizened grandma…waht to do, what to do…?
Have to tend to biz now, if you have a suggestion, I am here to listen and to act to the degree of power that I can exert although I’m not beyond just seizing more power if I have to…I’m sure the universe will heed my call.
Luv, Zen Lill
June 4th, 2010 at 10:42 am
I wanted to post a poem for some lyrics I am working on regarding the Gulf ordeal. You can also find it on my blog by clicking my name link above…
Oil Lies in Water
I rub my eyes wondering how this could all be happening
we play hide and seek with our wisdom and faith
it was all here far before we knew better
The streets a mass with people searching for their dreams
lost at the waters edge stoic like a rock wedged into the
wailing wall of tears
oil, lies in water
the distance of solutions is far off on the horizon
They were here first but the tides are turning
bits of desire float like clouds robbing oxygen away from the rest
I breathe as they smother asunder
What do we do now? What the hell is going on?
the dust settles onto the water creating a sinking feeling of reality
as life floats to the bottom
bright eyes with tears as the children stand crying
on the beach grains of sand disappears in the tides of time
mother was here before me
mother remains as I am gone
mother shuns her loving hold
mother turns her care away from us now
oil, lies in water
the distance of solutions is far off on the horizon
the sun breaks the day as the dark clouds grow
a sting is in the air and the water fills its gallows
a chance to fall spins us around and the world keeps turning
(c)Copyright 2010 Doug Boggs
June 4th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
hello michelle nad zen lill
disappointed has a point. as fine as both you women are (and both of you are pretty and very sexy) bragging about it or making it known just how very sexy and pretty you both are
1:spoils any natural beauty that you have. 2:is an insult to women who may not have these equal physical attributes.3: says that women are mere eye candy (and we all know that a woman is much more than her physical appearance).
good looking women (and you both are) are not rare, and to hear two women base their worth on looks is degrading to women, both atractive and the less attractive.
being boasterous is an unatractive quality no matter who it comes from because not all can make those same claims.
“humility” and “modesty” are the qualities that are desirable, do not worry you will not go unnoticed. your boasting will not go unnoticed either, noticed as an undesireable and ugly quality.
i am glad “disappointed” brought this subject up, you beautiful women are not shining through as you should all because of your VANITY
June 4th, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Dear Sonny,
people who know mischa and I in real life would never use the terms vain, boastful or conceited to describe us. If u haven’t been reading here mischa’s readers cintinously ask for new pics. She never states any of her numerous attributes which are both physical and certainly no reflection on any other females worth, we are all gorgie in our own ways, and her heart is very large in case you haven’t noticed. I’ll use my modesty now to tell you that often it is my inner stuff thar is commented on in real life and that’s just a fact not bragging…other than that…point(s) taken : )
-ZL
June 4th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Hmmm first it was teenie weenie comments men got offended by, now it’s some perceived female immodesty – what do we need to edit next?
June 5th, 2010 at 3:48 am
Sonny
Why do men feel they have the right to tell women what is a good quality for them to have?
If you feel ““humility” and “modesty” are the qualities that are desirable,” that’s fine, but you have no right to force your “values” upon others.
I say Zen Lill, if you got it flaunt it.
Linda
June 5th, 2010 at 3:57 am
I’ve been trying to get in since I read “disappointed” yesterday. That is obviously a dude who can’t get a pretty woman. I have a few friends like him.
He always puts down pretty women. He finds something negative to say about their dress, or attitude. And like Sonny above he tries to hide behind Scripture or virtue.
They are just sorry dudes that since they can’t get a “pretty” woman they try to scold or deter others from having the experience.
Sorry guys, we see through you.
You would show more “humility” Sonny by keeping your opinions to yourself if they would offend others.
D.C. Al
June 5th, 2010 at 4:07 am
Michelle
I’m on my way to work. But I had to comment. I see some men are trying to put a check on the ladies of this blog. Too bad the men in America can’t force Bible upon us.
But had better believe that if they thought they could get away with it we would be living like the women in the Middle East. It’s not like we haven’t gone though that period.
We women have to remain vigilant if not militant about our right to be who we want to be. I don’t have the temerity to talk like you girls, but God knows that I wish i did.
I love reading women who put it out there. I haven’t written in before because I guess I have been content to live vicariously through the women who write in. But “disappointed” and Sonny have given me cause to join the sisterhood.
Pay no attention to holy that thou men. Like the republican men who claim to represent christian values or be anti gay, they are hypocrites to the first degree.
I can see disappointed and Sonny now lurking in the corners of strip joints looking to get lucky.
Carol
June 5th, 2010 at 4:09 am
Michelle
I’m like you. This mess of oil in America has me sick. I am not anti American but I do believe that Americans are sometimes too arrogant. I am so happy they have a man like Obama for President.
Maybe he will show them the way.
Rhea
June 5th, 2010 at 4:13 am
Michelle
You nailed “disappointed” and Sonny. Rejects!
June 5th, 2010 at 4:22 am
Zen Lill
I read that too and it also sickened me. Men like “disappointed” and Sonny indoctrinate women into believing their sick bullshit. And we women end up with the “wizened granmas.”
You’d better believe those two would volunteer in a hot minute for the “virtue” police like those thugs in Iran and the rest of the Middle East who get their jollies beating women who don’t dress according to the koran.
Rhonda
June 5th, 2010 at 4:24 am
Good looking women are not rare you say Sonny? I bet they are as rare as hen’s teeth to your personal acquaintance.
Since when does a gentleman lecture a woman as you just have? Pathetic man. Get a life.
Phillip
June 5th, 2010 at 4:26 am
Zen Lill
You tell’em. I want to hear and see more. I’ll bet both of those dudes have printed you picture and re beating off to them as we speak.
Suck it up boys.
June 5th, 2010 at 4:30 am
Speaking of the teeny weeny, wanna guess what department “disappointed” and Sonny belongs.
June 5th, 2010 at 4:38 am
Let me digest this, “being boasterous is an unatractive quality no matter who it comes from because not all can make those same claims.”
So one shouldn’t boast about something he or she can do or has because not all can make those claims.
So do you write this to everyone you hear talking in the media. That would be a full time job. Did you know that we actually pay people who boast that they are better at things than other people who do the same thing. It’s called advertising.
Watch any sports, politics, world news, etc lately.
Ike
June 5th, 2010 at 4:43 am
Sonny you Americans are so contradictory. You rail against indignities Islam visits upon women while trying to control your women with psychological games.
So pretty women shouldn’t say they are pretty because not all women are pretty. Even here in Finland that sounds lame.
And Michelle, you are beautiful. My sister has started telling her boyfriend off now that she reads your blog. Thanks I have been trying to get her to see that guy for what he is for years.
Lars
June 5th, 2010 at 5:04 am
I am a beautiful woman and proud of it. I am also first in my class at Glendale High. I am a cheerleader and the spokesperson for my states high school organic farm program.
I showed your comment to my father, Mr. Sonny. He said that I should pay no attention to men who seek to control women with false claims of humility or modesty.
He says “vanity” is often a label a man tags a woman with who he feels has ventured into a realm he can’t attain or compete in.
I personally feel it is very vane of you to presume that you can tell Michelle and Zen Lill that they are not shining through because of their VANITY.
They make me feel that I can do anything a man can do. When my mother told me about a blog that speaks to women with no regard for the opinions of men, I thought it was another dream of hers to find a refuge from the state men have put the planet in.
But after 7 months of reading this blog, I have to agree. Mom has found her refuge. And all you can comment on is “VANITY.” Is there any wonder men have put this world is in such environmental danger.
Tiffany
June 5th, 2010 at 5:19 am
Michelle
Can you believe that the people who cry “Drill Baby Drill” are still pushing for offshore drilling? I hope Obama has learned his lesson about believing the claims of rich greedy white men.
Thank God we have someone other than another white man in the WH. After 200 plus years of their leadership, we have almost destroyed the planet and enslaved half the world’s population and almost bankrupted the entire free world.
My mother who has had the current President’s picture hanging in our living room for the past 40 years can’t hang Obama’s because my father says he is old school and “a nigger is a still a nigger.”
He says that while his two sons and one daughter has lost their homes because of Bush and his corrupt or inept administration. Both my two brothers and my sister have switched to independent or democrat. I am still a republican in name only.
I have no black friends but I am proud to have Mr. Barack Obama as our President. We now have an intelligent, honest, and tough on unregulated business man in the WH.
Janice
June 5th, 2010 at 5:31 am
Sonny you said that you were glad that “disappointed” brought the subject up. What subject did he bring up he simply went for the insult.
One would think that a true gentleman or man of virtue would have gone to the defense of the woman attacked. But you used the insult as an opportunity to get on your high horse and proclaim your virtuous qualities. That of being able to recognize when another does not have those that you have in abundance.
Telling isn’t it.
Floyd
June 5th, 2010 at 5:35 am
Ditto D.C. Al.
Disappointed you wouldn’t throw her out of the sack you say. Yeah, right. Like you could ever get a babe like the in the sack without paying for the privilege.
That maybe that’s the true issue; you have to pay. Ergo the reference to the “hooker across the street.”
Edward
June 5th, 2010 at 5:38 am
Me thinks “disappointed” and Sonny are meant for each other. On the “Down-Low” boys?
June 5th, 2010 at 5:41 am
Keep up the good work Michelle and Zen lill, Don’t let the controlling males put a damper on your comments, “boasting,” flaunting, screaming, crying, strutting, or anything else.
I love what i hear here.
Denise
June 5th, 2010 at 5:47 am
Okay, so Sonny if a beautiful woman says she is beautiful it makes her less beautiful. Is that because it makes you uncomfortable to hear her say she is beautiful?
If an intelligent woman says she is intelligent, does that make her less intelligent because it makes someone uncomfortable to hear her say that she is intelligent?
Where are we going with this. Does it apply to men who boast? And are we just hearing sour grapes?
Bert
June 5th, 2010 at 5:48 am
Sonny have you ever heard the statement. “It isn’t bragging if it is fact.”
June 5th, 2010 at 5:50 am
I’m fine and that is a fact.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:50 am
I’m gorgeous and that is a fact
June 5th, 2010 at 5:51 am
I’m beautiful and that is a fact!
June 5th, 2010 at 5:52 am
I’m pretty goddamn spectacular and that is a fact.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:53 am
La multa y eso de I es un hecho.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:54 am
I’m so damn pretty it hurts and that is a fact.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:54 am
?? ???????? I ??? ???? ????? ??? ???????.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:55 am
A multa e aquela de I são um fato.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:56 am
L’amende et ce d’I est un fait.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:57 am
I???????????????I???????????????
June 5th, 2010 at 5:58 am
De boete van I en dat zijn een feit.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:59 am
I’m hot and that’s a fact.
June 5th, 2010 at 6:00 am
I’m all that and that is a fact.
June 5th, 2010 at 6:01 am
Sono benissimo e quello è un fatto.
June 5th, 2010 at 6:02 am
Je suis très bien et c’est un fait.
June 5th, 2010 at 6:03 am
Ich bin fein und die ist eine Tatsache.
June 5th, 2010 at 6:04 am
? ??????? ? ?? ????.
June 5th, 2010 at 6:05 am
????????????
June 5th, 2010 at 6:06 am
Je suis trop chaud pour toucher.
June 5th, 2010 at 10:19 am
[...] speak for myself as Zen Lill has already given her two. And FYI: I won’t be as gentle and accepting of your [...]
June 5th, 2010 at 11:04 am
And I am pulled over in the side of the road with tears in my eyes, thank you women if MM blog for celebrating your own beauty despite the disappointeds and sonnys of the world. My weekend is made. And for the men who wrote in to back up flemales on this one, thank you, I’m pleased that you spoke up Bc disapppioibted and. Sonny could walk around feeling quite self righteous and need to hear how ridiculous they sound from males and females.
This is going to be a beautiful day…
Luv, Zen Lill
June 6th, 2010 at 10:17 am
[...] …Tiffany: I didn’t include you in my list of girls yesterday. My apologies to you. I wanted to comment on your write. First to say good for you for recognizing that you are beautiful – I wish I had when I was your age. And secondly, congratulations for being the first in your class in high school. It doesn’t surprise me, as I read your wisdom in the comments of your write, that you are one to watch. Lastly, I like the honesty and openness that you experience when your parents express their thoughts to you. With such support, I have no doubt you will go far. Nice to hear from you. I hope that your mom and dad will comment some time too. [...]