“Permission” From The Husband
Posted by Michelle Moquin on July 27th, 2011
Good morning!
The Most Shocking Thing My Mother Ever Told Me About Sex (And How It’s Shaped My Politics)
Recently my mother told me something shocking. When she decided that her family was complete and sought a tubal ligation from her doctor (aka “to have her tubes tied”), she was told that her husband would have to sign a form giving his consent. This was not during the dark ages, but the dawn of the 1980s. And this was not some third world country practicing sharia law, but Texas. (Yes, I can already hear some of the 3rd world jokes many of you are making about my home state right about now. To which I say, “Hook ‘em Horns.”)
Her story was a stark reminder that it really wasn’t that long ago that our country was stuck in the dark ages when it comes to women having the right to control our own bodies. It was also a powerful reminder that while abortion remains the most divisive reproductive rights issue — and the one likely to garner the most headlines — it is not necessarily the most important. There are countless reproductive rights issues that affect all women — including those who may not consider themselves pro-choice. These are the issues I consider most at stake with the ongoing assault on Planned Parenthood. And it is through these issues that President Obama may end up leaving his greatest legacy.
Last week a nonpartisan panel convened by the Institute of Medicine recommended that insurance companies be required to cover birth control for free as a form of preventive care under the new health care law. If the government follows the panel’s recommendations, this could end up being not just one of the most important moments in the reproductive rights movement since Roe v. Wade, but the most important moment ever. (Click here to see some of the most important reproductive rights cases besides Roe v. Wade.)
A poll released during the 50th anniversary of the birth control pill found that cost remains a key barrier for couples when it comes to using contraception. As I have noted in a previous column, ”though it seems like it would be a no brainer for insurers to cover birth control rather than face the prospect of eventually covering another dependent, a 2007 Mercer study found that while about 70 percent of insurers provide coverage for erectile dysfunction medications, (as in Viagra) HALF of all health insurance plans do not provide contraceptive coverage.”
Though legally and theoretically available to all, contraception has certainly not been accessible to all, with class status and education historically being one of the indicators of contraception use and family size. (A recent analysis found that low-income men who abuse their partners often hide or sabotage birth control as another form of controlling them.) With poverty being a key indicator for dropping out of high school and incarceration, this means that the ability to control the size of one’s family is a social and political issue that affects many others.
I surprised a reporter recently when I said that I consider family planning the most important domestic or international political issue, because from my vantage point it affects almost all others in some way, shape or form. Wars are often fought over land or resources that people are trying to protect (or take) so that their families can have them and benefit from them. The environment struggles in large part from overpopulation and overuse. People often turn to crime, like theft and dealing drugs, because they lack the skills or opportunity to support their families, or themselves, any other way.
This is why I have always been baffled when those who claim to care about these issues, and others — particularly abortion — don’t treat access to contraception as one of their most important political issues too. But if the Obama administration makes headway in removing the financial barrier to contraception — for all women — it will have made one of its greatest policy contributions not just to women, but all families.
Keli Goff is the author of The GQ Candidate and a Contributing Editor for TheLoop21.com, where this piece was originally published.
************
Readers: I found this article interesting. What are your thoughts?
With respect to getting “permission” from husbands….It is the woman who gets pregnant, the woman who gives birth, and once again she should be able to decide what she wants or doesn’t want to do to her body. And once again, men are given a say…and not just a say. This was/is not “law” to my knowledge, but a husband had to give a signed consent in order to give his wife “permission” to “have her tubes tied”. Is this still the case?
Let me say that I think it is something that a couple should discuss. But ultimately, it should be the woman’s decision and she shouldn’t have to get “permission”, a signed consent from her husband in order for her to be able to do what she wants with her body.
And what about the men? Are men required to ask “permission” from their wives before they get a vasectomy? Again, I think it should be a discussion between the couple but I know women whose husband’s have had a vasectomy and I don’t recall them telling me they needed to sign a consent to give him “permission”. My guess is they didn’t.
But it is not surprising a woman would be asked though is it? Has anyone experienced this? Have any of my readers had to sign a consent for their wives? Or for their husband? Blog me.
Peace out.
Lastly, greed over a great story is surfacing from my “loyal”(?) readers. With all this back and forth about who owns what, that appears on my blog, let me reiterate that all material posted on my blog becomes the sole property of my blog. If you want to reserve any proprietary rights don’t post it to my blog. I will prominently display this caveat on my blog from now on to remind those who may have forgotten this notice.
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: We all know what this means by now :)
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July 27th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
How to Succeed in Life from Peter Drucker—the Man Who Taught the World How to Succeed in Business
Bruce Rosenstein, MSLS
Peter Drucker is known as the “father of modern management.” His business writings remain widely read and highly influential six years after his death at age 95.
Yet even Drucker’s disciples might not realize that the famed guru was an expert in life management as well as business management.
What can we learn about succeeding in life from the man who taught the world so much about succeeding in business?
Bottom Line/Personal asked Bruce Rosenstein, author of Living in More Than One World: How Peter Drucker’s Wisdom Can Inspire and Transform Your Life, to identify three of Drucker’s core life strategies…
STRATEGY 1: LIVE IN MORE THAN ONE WORLD
Most people assume that the best way to achieve success in any one area is to devote themselves completely to that area. Devote all of your energies to your career… your family… or your favorite cause… and the odds of a positive outcome in that area seem certain.
Drucker strongly cautioned against such single-minded focus. He recommended that everyone find at least one interest outside his/her primary area, then expand that secondary pursuit into more than just a hobby.
Example: Drucker devoted considerable time to the study of Japanese art. He even taught college courses on the subject.
Drucker noted that people who have just one goal or one passion tend to wind up unhappy for several reasons…
If you have just one interest, your circle of friends and allies is likely to be very limited.
That’s unfortunate, because having lots of friends is highly correlated with happiness… and having lots of allies means more open doors, increasing your odds of success.
Having only one goal leaves no fallback position should you be dealt a setback. Example: Devote yourself completely to a political cause, and you will feel crushed if the vote goes against you.
People with multiple interests tend to spend less time ruminating over mistakes and missed chances. Obsessing over failures only reduces the odds of future success.
A single-minded person tends to feel like a failure unless he/she is 100% successful in his focus area—and total success is rare.
Example: Anything short of reaching a desired spot in a company can feel like failure to someone who has devoted his life entirely to his career.
Outside interests provide unique viewpoints, which can increase the odds of success in one’s area of primary interest.
Example: Drucker found that studying Japanese art gave him insight into Japanese culture, which helped him find perspective on—and gain influence in—the Japanese business community.
STRATEGY 2: CHOOSE A NONFINANCIAL PRIMARY GOAL
Peter Drucker observed that most of the people he knew whose life goal was to make lots of money did, in fact, made lots of money.
But Drucker also saw that despite their wealth, most of these people were miserable.
Drucker was not opposed to wealth. He simply believed that there never is a true sense of satisfaction when wealth is the main motivator of achievement.
Set out to earn $1 million, and you probably won’t feel successful when you do it—you’ll decide you need even more money… or wonder why money doesn’t make you feel fulfilled.
Drucker thought a better goal was to leave something of value behind when you’re gone. You could leave behind…
A happy, loving family that will continue to be happy thanks to your positive example.
A history of treating everyone you meet with respect, encouraging them to treat others with respect, too.
A profitable company that will continue to provide employment and products or services after you retire.
If you’re not certain what you can leave, spend some time teaching, mentoring or volunteering with a charity. These are among the surest ways to feel you have created a worthwhile legacy.
Added benefits: Teachers and mentors tend to improve their own mastery of the material… while volunteers benefit from a halo effect—others view them more positively because of their public service, increasing the volunteer’s odds of success in all aspects of life.
STRATEGY 3: KNOW AND DEVELOP YOUR CORE COMPETENCIES
In 1990, a pair of management experts named C.K. Prahalad and Gary Hamel coined the phrase “core competencies.”
The crux of their idea was that a company should focus on the things that it does better than its competitors. This philosophy has been widely adopted in the business world.
What few realize is that Drucker advanced a similar idea more than a quarter century earlier, only he called it “strengths analysis.”
This strategy works just as well for individuals as for companies. Three ways to put strengths analysis to work in your life…
Abandon whatever isn’t working. Regularly question your habits, your hobbies, your relationships, your projects and your time commitments.
For each, ask, Would I start this again today knowing what I know now? If the answer is no, end it or at least scale it back—your time is better spent elsewhere.
Drucker disagreed with the saying “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” He advised, “If at first you don’t succeed, try once more, and then try something else.”
Example: Drucker published two novels. Neither succeeded, so he never wrote fiction again.
Engage in ongoing self-reflection. Consider what you expected to happen in the past year… what actually happened… and if those two answers differed, why they differed.
This analysis could point you toward areas where your abilities are greater than you realize—or away from areas where your abilities are less than you think.
Focus forward. People get too caught up in day-to-day tasks and activities. They don’t spend enough time focusing on future opportunities and how to make those opportunities happen.
Our future is more important than the distractions and errands that absorb much of our time in the present. Do not treat the future as a low priority just because it has not yet arrived.
Personal interviewed Bruce Rosenstein, MSLS, a lecturer at The Catholic University of America, Washington, DC, and former librarian, researcher and writer for USA Today.
He interviewed Peter Drucker extensively for USA Today prior to Drucker’s death in 2005 and is author of Living in More Than One World:
How Peter Drucker’s Wisdom Can Inspire and Transform Your Life (Berrett-Koehler). http://www.BruceRosenstein.com
July 27th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Bill:
I don’t think it would be a good idea for us to meet at the airport. I have a suspicion that we look exactly alike. Even if that is not so, I believe that a meeting by us could cause you to lose your immortality.
Let, me guess. You have no idea how long you have been alive. You may feel that you know when life for you started as the person who you are now but if you were to attempt to pin down when life itself started for you, that would be difficult.
Let’s talk here for a while and then we can arrange a place to meet. I have another feeling that you speak a language to yourself that you think you made up.
Being alone is not uncomfortable to you. You feel at home with even the inanimate elements of your environment. You often wonder why the beings you exist with can not hear what you hear or know what you know.
You instinctually know whatever you wish to know and you often dumb down your conversation with or you are reluctant to be around “mortals.”
Somehow they are different. You have intuitions that always seem to come true. If you need something, money, or a bit of luck to get something done here or there it just seems to happen.
You have no problem attracting or forming friendships with humans. However, with males they either like you intensively or instantly or they dislike or distrust you as quickly.
Women tend to trust you and most end up falling in love with you, but you have no trouble convincing them to just be your friend.
You are not gay but you are not interested in sex with more than one special woman. However, the women who fall in love with you have no problem sharing you with other women in a ménage à trois. You are still searching for that special woman.
You have the ability to control you body so well that when you do have sex it is entirely up to you when or if you orgasm and you never lose your erection unless you choose to, whether you orgasm or not.
You have never been ill. You have faked illnesses to blend in. You are now faced with the dilemma of having to make yourself look older because technology on this planet has just about “caught up with you.”
I leave that thought which is constantly on your mind today for you to open the next conversation with me. In deference to you, I will be bill2 as you most definitely predate me.
Bill2
July 27th, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Le projet de loi:
Je ne pense pas que ce serait une bonne idée pour nous de rencontrer à l’aéroport. Je soupçonne que nous recherchons exactement pareils. Même si ce n’est pas le cas, je crois qu’une réunion par nous pourrait vous faire perdre votre immortalité.
Permettez-moi deviner. Vous n’avez aucune idée combien de temps vous avez été en vie. Vous pouvez penser que vous savez quand vous avez commencé la vie pour que la personne qui vous êtes maintenant, mais si vous avez été pour tenter de cerner quand la vie lui-même lancé pour vous, ce serait difficile.
Parlons ici pour un moment et puis nous pouvons organiser un lieu de rencontre. J’ai un autre sentiment que vous parlez une langue à vous-même que vous pensez que vous avez fait en place.
Être seul n’est pas inconfortable pour vous. Vous vous sentez à la maison, même avec les éléments inanimés de votre environnement. Vous me demande souvent pourquoi les êtres que vous exister avec n’entends pas ce que vous entendez ou ce que vous savez.
Vous savez instinctivement ce que vous voulez savoir et vous avez souvent muets en bas de votre conversation avec ou si vous êtes réticent à être autour de «mortels».
Quelque part, ils sont différents. Vous avez des intuitions qui semblent toujours se réaliser. Si vous besoin de quelque chose, l’argent, ou un peu de chance de faire quelque chose ici ou là, il semble juste de se produire.
Vous n’avez aucun problème à attirer ou former des amitiés avec des êtres humains. Cependant, les hommes qu’ils soit comme vous intensive ou instantanément ou qu’ils n’aiment pas ou la méfiance, vous aussi rapidement.
Les femmes ont tendance à faire confiance à vous et la plupart finissent par tomber en amour avec vous, mais vous n’avez aucun mal à les convaincre de juste être votre ami.
Vous n’êtes pas gay, mais vous n’êtes pas intéressés par des relations sexuelles avec plus d’une femme particulière. Cependant, les femmes qui tombent en amour avec vous n’ont pas de problème que vous partager avec d’autres femmes dans un ménage à trois. Vous êtes toujours en quête de cette femme spéciale.
Vous avez la possibilité de contrôler votre corps si bien que lorsque vous avez le sexe, il est entièrement à vous quand ou si vous l’orgasme et vous ne perdez jamais votre érection sauf si vous choisissez, si vous l’orgasme ou non.
Vous n’avez jamais été malade. Vous avez truqué maladies à mélanger po Vous êtes maintenant confronté au dilemme d’avoir à vous faire paraître plus vieux parce que la technologie sur cette planète a peu près “rattrapé avec vous.”
Je quitte cette pensée qui est constamment à votre esprit d’aujourd’hui pour vous d’ouvrir la prochaine conversation avec moi. Par respect pour vous, je serai comme vous Bill2 très certainement me précèdent.
Bill2
July 27th, 2011 at 6:39 pm
Michelle, my husband and I read that article for its original source. It is a timely piece to place on your blog. He is a general practitioner turned politician and he agrees very much with you.
Me, I’m from Texas, born and raised and still here. I know it for what it is. A land ruled by racist white men and the brain dead women who follow them like trained sheep.
In Texas a married man who decided to have a vasectomy doesn’t even have to tell his wife much less get her permission.
Most white women here out number the men at the polls, but they vote as their men tell them to. We have our own political conference groups but they are actually just halls to echo the talking points our men give us. That is true whether we are democrats or republicans.
I sometimes envy the independence of minority women. They can be a force within themselves as a group. We are but the shadows of our men whether they are heros or arch villains.
linda
July 27th, 2011 at 7:01 pm
So the blog finally opened up. I have been trying to get in since early this morning. I assumed it was down since no other comments were present either.
I knew it was bad when there was no Howie or Zen Lill, two of my favorites.
My sister wrote to our mother and told her that she was leaving to become a Girlz. Mother said that as she was the one who introduced us both to your blog she should be the one to go first.
We have always been a very close family. Yesterday I the family attorney called to have a sit down with me. He said that they left everything they owned to me.
He said they visited him and told him they were going to be picked up by a spaceship and go live with aliens. He said he thought they were joking until they dictated their wills to him leaving me their entire estates.
He said that he called the authorities because he thought they were experiencing some sort of woman thing that required medical assistance. But that he stopped short of calling the mentally incompetent as they were willing more that 200 million dollars in assets to me.
Michelle, I am not sure I believe or not. But as I said we are a very close family. Why not take me also? That would keep our family together. I could leave our assets to you or the charity of your choice as we are the sole remaining members of our family.
I am 39 with no interest in forming any relationships that would bring forth a family of my own. I am desperate to be reunited with my mother and my sister.
You usually respond with fairness toward the subjects that you address. I ask for the same consideration.
John
July 27th, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Will someone tell me again about the how white men have made this country great and free for all.
I remember Robert(I think) telling us why the white man loved States rights. He said it was because under state law the majority vote rules and whites know that they have the majority on the state level.
This means that using majority rules on the state level, they can vote away the rights of the minority in favor of the will of the majority.
So what have whites done with that majority? Basically they have used it to force others to do what the white males in that state want them to do.
So we get laws like in the state of Connecticut where white males made it illegal for married couples to use contraceptives and a criminal offense for anyone to sell them contraceptives.
This whim of the white man lasted more than 100 years until // Griswold v. Connecticut, 1965
The Supreme Court strikes down a Connecticut state law banning the sale or use of contraceptives among married couples.
At the same time this was occurring, white men in the state of Massachusetts were passing laws making it illegal for anyone to sell contraceptives to NON-married couples.
This whim of the white male lasted lasted more than 100 years until //Eisenstadt v. Baird, 1972
The Supreme Court struck down a Massachusetts law that banned the sale of contraceptives to non-married couples as a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution
So while one group of white males wanted to restrict the availability of contraceptives to married couples the white males in a state a few miles away wanted to restrict the availability of contraceptives from the opposite group non married couples.
As you pointed out Michelle neither law affected those who could afford to travel to the state that was favorable to their desire to purchase contraceptives, but the poor of that particular group was shit-out-of-luck.
Then there was the added benefit or injustice depending on the color of your skin of the white Just-Us Justice system.
Under that policy you can bet there was plenty of selective enforcement of those capricious contraceptive laws. So that only the OTWs or the poor white trash got arrested for breaking that law.
Neither of those laws would be legal under the Federal Constitution of equal protection.
But that is precisely why the bought and paid for five STARK Scalia, Thomas, Alito, Roberts, and Kennedy claim they are states rights advocates. They use that excuse to enable them to vote to keep the power in white males hand siding with the states on issues that screw OTWs or the individual vs corporations.
Melosa
July 27th, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Thank you Melosa for that white male civic lesson in a nutshell. As a white male I can not even appeal to Madaline with a beam me the fuck up because I a a male and even worse a white male.
So let me say to you wet back. You are living in the greatest country in the world because of my ancestors, white males.
If I am mistaken and you are not a citizen of the Great USA, then fuck you and your opinion.
Stanley
July 27th, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Michelle,
The Law prohibiting the sale of contraceptions to anyone under 16 and prohibiting anyone who is not a pharmacist from distributing contraceptions, served a duel purpose of giving a financial monopoly to a particular group controlled by white males and forcing our poor teenagers to suffer the harshest punishment for their indiscretions, unwanted pregnancies.
What does that say about all white male control of our government? Most of those draconian laws stood until women and OTWs became a viable force in America’s politics.
—————————————-
Carey v. Population Services International, 1977
Law prohibiting the sale of contraception to anyone under 16 and prohibiting anyone who is not a pharmacist from distributing contraception, is deemed unconstitutional.
—————————————–
So will someone tell me why we want to give back the controls to the same neurotic group?
Henrietta
July 27th, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Stanley, stanley, stanley, lucky for you, lucky for you.
Your ancestors built this great country that allows you to say what you did to Melosa.
So why can’t you be as thankful to those ancestors of yours for providing the loophole that allows her to save what she believes.
It leaves me to wonder if your opinions would be voiced as strong in mixed company of this wet back.
My ancestors were in Texas before the knowledge of the white boy was a reality. I and my ancestors were born and raised in Texas.
Jose
July 27th, 2011 at 9:20 pm
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July 27th, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Bill, it looks like you got you wish about the storm not slowing your departure. =====================
NWS: Tropical Depression 11W Well Beyond the Marianas Heading WNW 300 Miles SW of Guam
Last Updated on Wednesday, 27 July 2011 14:06
Written by Kevin Kerrigan
Wednesday, 27 July 2011 13:10
Guam News – Guam News
Guam – Tropical Depression 11W continues to move away from the Marianas heading west north-west about 300 miles south-west of Guam.
Periods of heavy rain and gusty winds are possible on Guam and Rota through Thursday, but the system poses no threat to the Marianas.
NWS Advisory on TD 11W #6A
READ the 11am WEDNESDAY Public Advisory from the National Weather Service below:
Bulletin: Tropical Depression 11W Intermediate Advisory Number 6A
National Weather Service Tiyan gu wp112011
1100 am chst wed jul 27 2011
…Tropical Depression 11W 90 miles east of Fais…
A Tropical Storm Watch remains in effect for Fais and Ulithi in Yap State. Tropical Storm force winds of 40 mph or greater are possible within 48 hours.
A 1000 am chst…0000z…the center of Tropical Depression 11W was located near latitude 10.0 degrees north and longitude 141.8 degrees east.
This is about 90 miles east of Fais, 150 miles east of Ulithi, and 255 miles east of Yap and 310 miles southwest of Guam.
Tropical Depression 11W is moving west-northwest at 13 mph. A slight turn to the northwest is expected with little change in forward speed over the next 24 hours.
Maximum sustained winds remain at 35 mph. TD 11W is still expected to strengthen during the next 24 hours and may become a Tropical Storm later today.
=====================
Come back anytime
Lea
July 27th, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Hafa adai:
Michelle, who is this Bill? I checked the NASA before and after something move the Depression concentrating the circulation of the storm and causing it to move away from Guam.
====================
Contact: Rob Gutro
Robert.j.gutro@nasa.gov
301-286-4044
NASA/Goddard Space Flight Center
Tropical Depression 11W moving past Yap and Guam
IMAGE: The Tropical Rainfall Measuring Mission (TRMM) satellite data was used to create a 3-D image of Tropical Depression 11W’s rainfall and cloud heights as it passed overhead on July 26….
Click here for more information.
A NASA satellite has observed Tropical Depression 11W become more organized on infrared imagery. Fortunately, it is moving away from land areas for the next couple of days.
Yap and Guam are both experiencing the tail end of gusty winds and rains as Tropical Depression 11W moves between the two islands in the western North Pacific today.
At 0900 UTC (5 a.m. EDT) on July 27, Tropical Depression 11W’s (TD11W) maximum sustained winds were still near 30 knots (34 mph). It was located about 290 nautical miles southwest of Andersen Air Force Base, Guam near 10.7 North and 140.5 East. It was moving to the northwest near 12 knots (14 mph).
When NASA’s Aqua satellite passed over TD11W on July 26 at 16:05 UTC (12:05 p.m. EDT) the center of circulation appeared much more rounded than it had in the previous days, indicating that the storm was getting better organized.
The Atmospheric Infrared Sounder (AIRS) instrument captured the infrared image that showed powerful, high thunderstorms with cold cloud tops surrounded the center of TD11W’s circulation, although the center is partially exposed to outside winds.
There were also a number of bands of thunderstorms around the center. TD11W is kicking up waves of 12 feet high, and generating rough surf at Yap and Guam.
TD11W is moving around the western edge of a low to mid-level ridge of high pressure, and will continue in a northwestward direction for the next day or two. After that, the ridge is expected to weaken and the storm track will head in a more northeasterly direction.
=====================
Where the God(s) on Guam?????????
Peter
July 27th, 2011 at 9:53 pm
HI Mischa, yeah I remember being called into the office of doc for vasectomy for C, asked if I were ok with the decision but I didn’t have to sign off…wtf is that about?
I’ll go tangential bc I really don’t want to give the long version of this story/question – why aren’t women asking men if they are married or have a GF BEFORE they go to bed with them? Men have NO prob asking ‘so – ya married? Have a BF?’ so asking that would seem an obvious question, no? Why are so many women shocked when they find out their 1x weekly afternoon delight and 1x mid-week dinner guy is actually married or the BF of someone else, not shocking that they don’t volunteer the info is it? If you don’t ask, they won’t offer that – they’re wondering if your going to come over for some fun.
I have asked men since I learned my lesson the hard way long ago. Asking after some quick small talk takes them off guard and they usually answered (and of course some will lie). I had one man tell me yeah I’ve got a GF but it’s nothing serious, so I said, are you sleeping with her? This is usually met with laughing and then I say – then are you sure she feels that way? (or) so that’s what she tells men when she’s out? oh yeah…love the faces just before they control their expression (especially on the second version), it says everything : )
Anyway, I was telling a friend who is late 30′s this today and she looked at me like I invented the wheel, awe/wonder and I thought – really – women are taking dates with men and they haven’t even asked this basic question? On the flip, if you ask and you don’t care what the answer is and you choose to go out anyway, just be a condom carrying woman, wouldja? Please?
Sorry I always seem to comment on sex : ) it’s not all I think about, I’ve mentioned I don’t like commenting on politics here, it’s always covered in someone else’s commentary how I really feel so why reiterate?
….and it’s just that I see a lot of people struggle with relationships/sex issues and a few pals of mine think I have all the answers hahaha (and sometimes, I do).
Luv, Zen Lill
July 28th, 2011 at 7:34 am
Zen Lill
Sometimes I think you are a different person. You answered my questions today so nicely. Thanks for the clear up. I tell my daughters to ask their new boyfriends if they are single. They look at me as if I was crazy.
I will print your post today and put it in their hands when they come over.
Thanks
Maya