An Eye-Opener For America
Posted by Michelle Moquin on June 11th, 2016
Good Morning.
From the Huff Po:
Readers: I am not able to post the video here so click over on the title below if you would like to view it.
Behind The Photos That Changed How America Saw Domestic Violence
How one photographer documented the epidemic of hidden abuse inside our nation’s homes.
It was 1981 and Donna Ferrato wanted to photograph people in love. More precisely, she was interested in swingers who frequented New York’s sex clubs.
And so, she found the perfect polyamorous couple to focus her lens on. They were happy, wealthy and fashionable, and welcomed her into their New Jersey home for weeks at a time so she could intimately document their lives.
But one night, she witnessed something entirely unexpected: The husband brutally attacked his wife, striking her in the face. Ferrato snapped a photo thinking it would make him stop. It didn’t.
She sat on the undeveloped film for months, weighing what to do. Then, she began what has come to define her life’s work: documenting the horrors of domestic violence.
Armed with her camera, she crossed the country visiting domestic violence shelters, emergency rooms, batterers’ programs, police stations and prisons. In 1991, she published Living with the Enemy, a book that, for the very first time, revealed in shocking detail the private violence that went on inside American homes.
A few years later, her iconic photo of a woman with two black eyes appeared on the cover of Time magazine. Now, in a new documentary by Time Red Border Film, Ferrato explains the trajectory of her career, and the woman from the couple in those very first photos opens up about that night.
The Huffington Post caught up with Ferrato by email and asked her some questions about her work. Her answers have been edited for clarity.
How did you get involved in photographing domestic violence?
It was 1981. Before the AIDS epidemic when there was very little fear about random sex or hard drugs. I was working on a long-term project photographing the free-wheeling lifestyle of a fashionable New Jersey couple I’d met at a swinger’s club in Manhattan. People were curious about Plato’s Retreat, where the young and restless went to meet other like-minded couples.
I wondered who would participate, how husbands responded upon seeing their wives sexual with strangers, how it worked. I wanted to literally be inside the core of their relationships, to understand how their swinging lifestyle meshed with family responsibilities as they broke through social taboos.
It was not my intention to document domestic violence. I hadn’t much thought about it, because it had not threatened my childhood. One night, four months after I was documenting this couple in their beautiful mansion, the husband attacked his wife (without apology or shame) in front of me and my camera.
I was shocked because he seemed to feel entitled to hit her, even in front of an outsider, because she was his wife.
Up until that point, I had been trying to show the beauty of people in love. Shocked that love could go so wrong, I became obsessed with documenting domestic violence. Driven to try to do something about it, I found that a camera was my best weapon.
What was the general public’s reaction to the photos once they were released?
Much of my work was born out of frustration — first because I felt powerless in the face of the violence I had seen, and second because for a long time no magazine would publish the pictures. No one realized how common domestic violence was. Women had no choice but to suffer in silence. Either live with it or run away, never be seen again. There was no discussion about it as an injustice to women. To me it seemed like women lost their rights as human beings when they got married.
As opposition to publishing these photographs continued, I dug in deeper, getting permission to ride with the police, live in battered women’s shelters, hang out in emergency rooms. I often wondered, how could men get away with abusing women in such horrific ways?
At the time I didn’t realize how ridiculously easy it was. Everyone colluded with the abuser. Blamed the woman. It was simple. When some images I made in Philadelphia while on assignment for the Philadelphia Inquirer were published, it was like a bomb went off. People were very shocked when they saw a real woman with black and blue eyes on the cover of their Sunday magazine. Finally the cat was out of the bag … nobody could claim ignorance about the severity of this social problem.
Fortunately, back in the early ‘80s, there was a strong grassroots movement started by women to change legislation and to introduce laws with real teeth to hold abusers accountable. My photographs were the evidence they needed to raise money to do more public awareness campaigns, to strengthen the shelter movement, and most importantly to save women and children’s lives.
What tangible impact did your photographs have?
In 1992, after my book Living with the Enemy was published, Sanctuary for Families, NYC wanted to host an exhibition with my work. I was skeptical that they could raise money with these depressing images. But I decided to give it a try and created an exhibition specifically for Sanctuary for Families. In one night, they raised $86,000, not selling prints but by selling tickets to the show and selling the book for $250 each. I was blown away. It was a revelation. This was the kind of direct action I wanted to have with my work. I didn’t see my work as art. For me it was about being of service to others.
In 1992, I established a nonprofit (501c3), set up a board, and the Domestic Abuse Awareness Project, Inc. was born. We were working with domestic violence groups around the world. We were educating society through the powerful messages of the photographs. Over 14 years, we did thousands of exhibitions, lectures, fundraisers, and kept society focused on the needs of battered women and their children. I was searching for a way to break the cycle as a photographer.
I met Joe Biden on an Amtrak commuter train from New York to D.C. while he was working on the creation of the Violence Against Women Act. He told me he had my book on his bookshelf and that he had been educated by the stories in it.
Around 2004, I began to understand that many of the women in Living with the Enemy had found the courage to leave their abusers — and they did not go back, contrary to what so many people think. That’s what inspired me to create another movement, called I AM UNBEATABLE, telling the stories of women who took their children and left their abusers before someone ended up dead.
How have attitudes changed toward domestic violence since the 1980s?
I’ve seen practically all the major changes in progress. Police arresting assailants, batterers attending groups, women in shelters finding safety, women on their own starting over. The country was a much safer place for women in the 1990s. But things slid backward after 2001. American families were the losers as the cry for war began to dominate the global landscape.
People know much more about domestic violence now, but I think that many people, mostly men, still feel they are entitled to get away with it — beating a woman they are intimate with. Somehow she is supposed to take it. And they still use the same old excuses. She made me do it. And once again, society condones and colludes with the abusers.
What do you want people to understand about domestic violence?
Domestic violence is a page taken from hell. It’s an injustice to our rights as citizens of the free world. It’s an affront to everyone, not only the victim. I wonder how anyone can feel good about their own lives knowing that down the street, a woman is being raped and tortured in her home! What good is a home if men are allowed to torture and abuse the people inside it as if they are prisoners?
I want people to understand that today things are different. For one, most women know they have rights. They don’t deserve to be beaten. Everyone must rally to their defense. Give them whatever they need to be safe and rebuild their lives and self-esteem.
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Melissa Jeltsen covers domestic violence and other issues related to women’s health, safety and security. Tips? Feedback? Send an email or follow her on Twitter.
*****
Readers: The forum is open.
Formatting issues…ugh..it is what it is.
Blog me.
Kersha, Holly: I will do my best. And the best needs to come from everyone in order for us to succeed in stopping Trump. Happy to be here with readers who have a passion and purpose to do this. There’s a lot at stake.
Robert: No worries here. It won’t happen. I don’t know how long you’ve been reading but I don’t censor myself nor anyone else, so speak your mind freely.
Ruth: It’s been awhile. Miss you. I HOPE you et al are doing wonderfully. Looking forward to seeing you sometime soon.
Yay Hada: I love when someone flips to the Dem side. Thank you. Let’s keep the momentum going.
Isabell: A good rule to live by, right? Unless you hear God say it, don’t buy it.
Monique: Aww… dolce. Grazie.
Matthew: I disagree. I don’t think my brush is too broad at all. Most repubs want what’s best for them and theirs. You think McCain was stupid. The fact that you were willing to vote in an airhead like Palin as VP not to mention the risk of her becoming the president, is even more stupid. And you’re calling Obama a fool? Have you looked at what he has done for this county. Unemployment is at an all time low because of that fool. He’s created 14 million jobs. Pulled us out of the worst economic crisis since the 1930s. I could go on but I don’t want to waste my morning. Look it up. He’s the best president we’ve every had to date.
Women Warriors: Thanks for posting!
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Social Butterfly: Thanks for the warm welcome. Nice to see you here too! I really enjoyed the article that you posted. A great write that I HOPE everyone reads.
Robi: I hear you. Sickening but true; he probably would.
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Happy Saturday everyone!
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June 11th, 2016 at 1:56 pm
Majnoona#34 of yesterday. Most of the men I know or read about have definitely lost their moral compass.
June 11th, 2016 at 1:58 pm
Michelle, had I been reading your blog earlier, I would be a dem for a few years now. I hear that you had one great blog going. If what I see now is any indication. it most certainly was.
June 11th, 2016 at 2:00 pm
I am doing 25 to life for killing the bastard I married. He beat me for 11 years. One day I had had enough. I took one of his guns and ended the bastard’s life.
June 11th, 2016 at 2:06 pm
My father used to beat my mother all the time. When I was 13 I slowly poisoned him with anti freeze. At his funeral we all cried. I cried the loudest, for fear I would be discovered. But I am now 68 years old. To this day it was the best thing I have done for my mother.
She passed away when I was 53. She smiled and said I know what you did. I can never thank you enough. After my father died, she remarried 8 years later to a wonderful man and produced 2 new sisters for me to love and protect. Her husband died 4 years before she did. He was a great step father and we loved him very much.
Men do not have to be animals. Those that are continue to do it because a male controlled society permits it.
June 11th, 2016 at 2:07 pm
Michelle, we are too looking forward to your next visit.
June 11th, 2016 at 2:21 pm
Michelle, I am the wife of Matthew Says: June 9th, 2016 at 11:16 am – I introduced him to your blog because someone introduced me to your old blog writings. I was flabbergasted that women had such a voice. This old (51) die hard republican has had a change of mind.
I would no longer vote republican as I would put my head in a blender. The party is a male thing disguised as a movement for smaller government. I supposed they picked smaller because it is closely related to what they have in their pants and in their heads.
He showed me your answer this morning assuming (as only a man would) that I wasn’t reading the blog I introduced him to. I said, “darling read my reply on the blog.
He is a good man. We both are crack shots and I was raised by a daddy who couldn’t abide a man disrespecting a woman, I don’t worry about abuse by any man.
Sorry, honey, most of the misogynists who belong to your party are just plain racists. I know you aren’t, but let’s face it were fools to vote for McCain and Romney. Neither put Country First. I suspect that Romney’s refusal to support Trump is more about his desire to have the nomination than it is about what’s good for the country.
I can no longer support a party that views women as something that needs to be controlled. I am voting for Hillary, and supporting her financially. I still love you, so let’s agree to disagree on this subject.
June 11th, 2016 at 2:24 pm
Thanks Michelle. I think your blog is being jammed on occasion. It seems a lot of people still don’t like your message or the medium you provide for others like yourself. Don’t be surprised if they attempt another way to block you.
Nice being back.
June 11th, 2016 at 6:01 pm
The ‘liberties’ men have taken can only indicate a broken compass for sure and a system that backs that up. Sally & PC I’m sorry you had to take matters into your own hands but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. How anyone could ever buy ‘she asked for it’ is beyond fathomable.
It’s interesting and unbelievable that the man in the picture thought it was acceptable and wasn’t apologetic even that’s how off course that ‘compass’ is (the one he doesn’t have, at all)
Keep exposing it, Mischa, it’s time to wake up everyone.
Luckily I’ve been checking in w my friends and they’re appalled trump had gotten this far also so glad…bc their men are running the ‘at least he’s better than Hilary, she’s a (fill in blank)’ oh please, are you 7? All politicians lie at some point or they just can’t pull off everything they’ve offered. And D Trump is clean on that regard, please the smell is getting strong over here.
All I can think is: You’ve have got to be joking. But they’re not, I’m praying women come out in droves and shift it up!
Let’s go…!
Luv, Zen Lill
June 12th, 2016 at 9:43 am
Zen Lill#8, I used to be one of those men who said “at least he is better than Hilary” until my daughter and wife said they couldn’t lie to me anymore. They introduced me to this blog and said, “it seems to be okay for white men to accept Trump because he is no threat to you. But he disrespects us as women, and we have minority friends whom are abhorred that white America can actually be supporting this racists or a man willing to pander to racists to gain the White House.”
I was dumb struck because I always believed that we as a family shared out feelings openly. I listened and I have been reading both Michelle’s comments and the comments of people like you. I have to admit that if I weren’t a white male, the thought of Donald Trump being President would be unnerving, and possibly frightening.
I won’t vote for Hilary, but I won’t vote for Donald Trump either, perhaps I will write in Romney.
June 12th, 2016 at 9:45 am
Men believe they have the right to abuse women because their religions, culture and the courts allow them to do it without severe penalties.
June 12th, 2016 at 4:47 pm
I own a AR15. I enjoy target practice with it. Why shouldn’t a responsible law-abiding citizen be able to own one? The 2nd Amendment guarantees it. What we need is better checks on those who want to own one. not the denial to those who by his Constitutional right has the right to own one.