Let’s Start This Day Laughing, Shall We?
Posted by Michelle Moquin on November 5th, 2009
Oh….I am in a humorous mood this morning. Time to lighten up and laugh a little. This girls got it going good this morning and I am going to ride it all day. Ya know what I mean?
No topic this morning…just a little chitchat with my readers to break up the monotony of all of the heaviness lately. Don’t ya just need to distant yourself for awhile and laugh a little? I believe one should laugh at least a few times a day. Crack yourself up – I do all the time. And when I’m not laughing at myself, I’m laughing at others….in a good way of course, and hopefully they’re laughing with me.
Not laughing enough in your day? Well, start here this morning. I found a few things to help you break out into some laughter. Keep reading and you’ll come across them :)
Anna: I love traveling, and I hope one day soon I can fly to meet you. I have no problem sleeping on flights, and no problem with long flights. I use to fly to Indo a few times a year for work and although I was flying business class, which to me was so delicious, being able to totally recline would be the ultimate way to fly….besides having my own craft of course.
Now if we’re talking about my ship, there is no comparison. Let me just brag a little… My ship is so huge, more than 1000 earths could fit in it. So if you want leg room and a place to recline and relax, I have beaches – because if I’m going anywhere, I have to be near a beach. And mountains? oh yeah…from Mt Tamalpais to the Himalayas. My ship has the best of everything. Sound good? Want to join me?
In fact peeps, we may all be on my ship now and you would never even know it. Can you wrap your mind around that one? :)
Joyce: I have no idea – All I can say is they are stupid, and not paying attention to the facts. Here’s a little video I found that’ll get you laughing – just goes to show you how stupid people can really be. I think you’ll like it.
Kushka, and Nawzad: You’re both welcome. I wish that I could do more. I wish that Madaline could do more, but sometimes, we humans need to be left to handle the situations ourselves. Nawzad, Madaline is not reachable by my readers any other way but through my blog. Feel free to say something to her here. She does check in to read, even if she is not able to respond. Hang in there – You girls Rock.
Ah…Scott: You caught me on a good day; I just couldn’t wait to get to you. Thank you for the compliment. So….let’s see….’Meddling’ huh? When men stop meddling with women, I will stop meddling in their lives. And not until then. ‘Bitch’: That I am, and proud of it! Call me a bitch any day of the week….and that’s Bad Ass Bitch to you.
But as far as me interfering in your family business, don’t shoot the messenger. Just because Wendy reads my blog, got inspired, and finally decided to woman up, and not to put up with your shit, don’t blame me. You’re the one who was/is cheating. Maybe you should’ve thought about your wife with your big head, before you thought with your little head and pulled down your pants. My blog just gave her the boldness she needed to bail out.
So…tell me…did you answer her question? Please share with me and my readers, just why Wendy should put up with your shit. I would love to hear your lame excuses. And by the way, you are threatening the wrong girl – I have peeps in the form of one bad-assed super-girl and a clan of chicks that are always ready and itching to kick a little ass. I would be the wrong girl to fuck with – got my drift?
As far as me being a ball buster – you bet. When men think with the little head instead of the big one, where do you think their brains are? But don’t get me wrong. I love balls; they are the co-pilots on my favorite ride.
Now… be a good boy, and go run off and be with your little girlfriend, until she gets tired of your shit too.
Oh…and this one’s for you.
So...Wendy: How goes it? No need to thank me. It is my pleasure. I don’t know what I said that sparked your split, but whatever I said, I’m glad that it gave you the courage to do what you felt you needed to do. Hold you head high…..More power to you Babe, from this B.A.B.E. :) Hey, did you like the video I posted? Funny huh?
Ruth: I have no problem with family matters being discussed on my blog, so please, no need to ask for forgiveness. As you can see, your little mother/daughter chat is pretty mild compared to some of the stuff that happens here. I am not judging; just pointing out that the stories that are printed here are about as wild, and intimate, and revealing as one can get. No worries. I love having you both here.
BTK: So that’s what the acronym stands for. I like it.
Wow. I can’t believe The Huff didn’t approve your comment. That surprise and disappoints me. In fact that is just BS. I would send Ariana a letter of complaint. And yes, if you need to drive your point home by printing it twice then do so.
Speaking of Billy: How are you doing? This ones for you. ”He often broke into song, because he couldn’t find the key.” I hope that you are still reading and you’re doing okay. Peace Billy boy :)
Zen Lill: ‘Unwanted children tea’? You’ve got to be kidding me? Just the name itself made me crack up. Please tell me more – this I’ve got to hear :)
JC: Love it – Reminds me of the saying: “One must be careful of what they ask for, as they just may get it.
Hey Robert: Are you still reading? It feels like it has been a long time.
What about you Helena? Miss your presence here too.
Well Readers: I’ve started my day laughing. I hope that at the very least, I got a chuckle out of you. If not, go find something that makes you break out. It’ll feel sooo good.
Peace, Love & Laughter: “Live it, Give it, and Do it!”
Gratefully your blog host,
michelle
Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor
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November 5th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Michelle
Thanks for thinking of me. Since we are on laughing today, here is one from me.
The Importance of Walking.
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing..
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, ‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she?’
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
AND
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.
You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them instead!
===================================
On the serious side, thank you for all you do for women, I would also like to thank you for all you do for the world we live in as women and men.
And I could use a ride on that big boat of yours
Helena
November 5th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Michelle, that’s a mighty neat ship you have. You could just take the entire planet and there would be plenty room for 900 more. You have mountains and beaches in there. Sounds very cool. Your GirlZ will be very privileged to be chosen. Not only that, will there be NO men at all aboard? Are Men excluded from you paradise? Is this to make up for all the years that Women were second class citizens on this Planet?
I am truly envious. Don’t hit any planets while you are doing your thing. By the way, what will your mission be? Just gathering up more Women? For what purpose? What happens when you are full to capacity Do you plan on resettling any planets? Or just be like the Starship Enterprise to boldly go where no Woman has gone before?
You have come a long way from being one of the ‘Magnificent Seven’ on Mt. Tamalpais.
It seems that those chosen will truly be fortunate to have been picked. I love this stuff.
I really am curious and serious. Tell us about your plans. We want to know.
You have gotten my juices flowing.
I believe that I will never see your ship. Although I may be aboard one with equal accommodations. Let the show begin. This Planet has had it. It seems doomed for Humans.
Perhaps the new inhabitants will do a better job as caretakers of the Earth or whatever they call it.
I feel ready to take my journey, whatever and whenever it may be. I may already be on my way and not know it due to being stuck in linear time. I would like to catch up and be conscious of my whereabouts. I can’t wait for my first ‘Suit’ and an end to my Human pain and suffering.
HOWIE
November 5th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Michelle,
Your description of your craft is most interesting and amazing. I see you have the subcompact model. Is it parked inside your garage;)?
It really is difficult to phathom the emmencity
of such a ship. No more hairpin turns, but hey, you could never get pulled over by the police either. Parking would seem to be a problem though.
I have been told that some crafts are this large and grow larger still, go figure.
Al
November 5th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Michelle, I went back in the archives and read when Al and I first started blogging on you site. It was interesting reading. We have come a long way in two years. Both of us have grown so much since we were introduced to the TAO. They are awe inspiring.
We have had many ups and downs over the years that I feel that I know you even though we have never met.
We have argued, we have agreed, I have learned much about the plight of Women on this Planet and how unfair it has been. I have learned about the the plight of OTW’s and Racists.
We have helped elect a Black Man as President and He will certainly change the World for the better despite all the Republican and White Man interference.
This blog has become a home away from home and I enjoy reading all your reader’s opinions, good and bad.
I met the TAO here. This is the second extraterrestrial meeting in my life. I feel charmed and look forward to a future being part of their Family. That make us related somehow. Life for me has certainly been a long and strange trip.
Zen Lill, it was cool meeting you and you are forever written in my book as one cool Woman. It all happened here on Michelle’s blog. I am proud to be part of it.
AH, you have taught me much about our Nations ugly past and present because of your jaunts with Adam, who I look forward to meeting one day, along with Azza, Tal, Gleia, Zmiv and Viv.
Just showing some appreciation for the reach this blog has and who it has attracted — Human and Alien.
HOWIE
November 5th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
HI Mischa, I’ve seen this vid before, it’s hilarious, thanks for a redo on it, but I was still LOl-ing on your ‘co-pilots on my favorite ride’ oh God that’s funny and perfect ; ) btw, love your large ship visual and if I’m on it well then, there must be room for a few good men (or a simulator) or I’m not catching that flight, too much estrogen in the room, I like the smell of some testosterone, just my two on the subject, oh but I am ok with offing the rest of the men who are just plain idiots that make women snap! (or we can bring them and when we snap we just kill them in their sleep!)
I’m looking in my archives for the ‘unwanted children’ tea…it’s been some time, and I have to say it’s usage is best as a ‘morning after’ thing not when you’re halway through your first trimester, although I’ve heard of that being done also. It would be irresponsible of me to offer that version since it really requires daily oversight.
I think BTK is Billy The Kid, Evelyn’s man who Ruth hasn’t met yet, no?
Howie, that was a lovely stroll down memory lane – I should do that some time when I make time, so far I’ve gotten as far as copy/paste of health info in September, not very far, huh? Maybe I’ll go back to the beginning and start there, could be fun, sounds like it was for you. And thank you for the compliment : )
Over and out, have some laughing to do now, Zen Lill
PS women of MM blog, you off and doing the same routine till Monday, how’s that tennis shuffle working out, tough on the outer thighs isn’t it? If you keep alternating walk, shuffle, walk, shuffle, you’ll get a kick ass cardio workout also, maybe that’s a good goal, 3x’s a week, do that instead of kjust walking/power walking, there’ll be a variety of ways to kick it up a notch or not for all of you, and still keep it at 45 minutes max…
November 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Helena,
You are so funny. Loved your post today. Still laughing!!!!!!!!!
Al
November 5th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Helena, I try to walk as little as possible. You gave me a few really funny reasons why.
You are funny and clever — Two important traits in a Woman as far as I am concerned.
You are also a beautiful person. Who wants to live an extra hour because they walked for years as excercise?
You made me and a lot of other people laugh with you — not at you.
keep on blogging, I know that I am interested in hearing from you.
HOWIE
November 6th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Zen Lill
It is hard, very hard, but I am pursuing it fathifully.
Thanks for your help
November 6th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Howie and Al
I liked you two better when you had balls. You are being too nice to the women on this blog. You were the brave voices for the men. You were not rude, just principled with your objections to the constant beating up the men were receiving.
What happened?
November 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
EAT MEAT, DIE SOONER: RED MEAT BOOSTS RISK OF EARLY DEATH
A large-scale study examining the effects of meat consumption on mortality has confirmed what myriad smaller ones have suggested — frequently eating red and processed meats increases your risk of mortality by at least 33%.
MEAT-LOVERS BEWARE
To assess the link between eating meat and risk of premature death, researchers at the National Cancer Institute followed more than 500,000 people for 10 years, 70,000 of whom died over the course of the study. The size of this study is what makes it so important, since it provided an opportunity to investigate the relationship between meat consumption and age at death. At the start of the study, the participants, aged 50 to 71, completed a questionnaire that asked how often they ate specific foods and also about their portion sizes. “Red meats” included beef and pork, while “processed meats” included sausages, hot dogs and all cold cuts. Participants who ate the most red and processed meats, most often and in the largest portions, were at higher risk for death from heart disease or cancer, and for death overall than those who ate the least red and processed meats. Researchers measured and controlled for a variety of critical co-factors, including alcohol intake, smoking, physical activity, weight and total caloric intake and their impact on longevity.
This essentially means that when compared with people who eat just one ounce, people who eat five ounces of red meat daily are a third more likely to die, Barry Popkin, PhD, a professor of nutrition at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and author of The World Is Fat, told me. He added that if you eat just a single ounce of processed meat — or one hot dog each week — mortality risk is similarly raised, noting these results were identical for women and men. Participants who ate the most white meat (which included fish and tuna) had a slightly lower risk — about 10% to 15% — of death.
In an editorial accompanying the study, published earlier this year in Archives of Internal Medicine, Dr. Popkin said: “The consensus is not that we should all become vegans or vegetarians. Rather, the need is for a major reduction in total meat intake.”
THE PROBLEM WITH MEAT
Where breast cancer and colorectal cancer have both been linked to cooking method as well as saturated fat content, this study is the first to implicate red and processed meats not just in those two cancers but in total cancer deaths, as well as cardiovascular deaths and overall mortality. According to Dr. Popkin, there are several factors that make these meats a poor meal choice…
Cancer-causing compounds form when meat is cooked at high temperatures, as when it is grilled.
Meat is high in iron, which is thought to promote cancer when consumed in excess.
Meat intake is likely to contribute to elevated blood pressure and cholesterol levels, increasing the risk for heart disease.
Processed meat, even if it’s low-fat, contains cancer-causing nitrites.
CHANGING YOUR DIET
According to Dr. Popkin, reducing red meat intake to just once a week, at most, and completely eliminating processed meats would save the lives of a million men and just under a million women in the 50 to 59 age group over the next decade. “People could cut their individual risk by 30% over 10 years,” he noted — adding “that’s a pretty big saving.” For long-term health benefits, Dr. Popkin suggests choosing poultry, fish and legumes, rather than red meat, as sources of protein. Also, he advises, those who have risk factors that increase their likelihood of premature death, such as hypertension, diabetes, cancer or heart disease, or who are overweight or obese, should be “especially wary.” “If you’re at greater risk for disease to start with, eating red meat will increase your risk even more.”
Source(s):
Barry Popkin, PhD, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina. He is author of The World Is Fat: The Fads, Trends, Policies and Products That Are Fattening the Human Race (Avery).
November 6th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Helena, that was so funny, thanks for posting that…did wonder what had happened to you – and to Robert also, must’ve been in the nostalgia of the blog lately, huh, Mischa? Who else has gone into hiding?
So, I do know it’s hard, that’s why I am always here to urge you on, it’s tough to fit in 6 workpouts a week, eat right and all that, but if there is any commitment you’ll make to yourself it should be excellent health, no?
Have a great weekend, will be on and off here, suddenly I got busy and women are scooping up clothes like there isn’t a recession, so much for that lull I spoke of on the phone last week, Mischa…I’m stoked, need some dinero!
Luv, Zen Lill
November 6th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Just so you know. It was a woman who put 4 into the Major Hasan to stop his rampage. Also let’s not got into the religion thing. I don’t think it was religion as much as it was anxiety towards having to go into a hostile environment.
But what do I know? I’m only a woman.
Oh Harry, what’s keeping you from sporting those tiny little balls you have? Put some air in them and speak up when it bothers you what you read on this blog.
Howie and Al
I haven’t been reading that long, but I look forward to a sincere man’s objections. If Zen Lill respects your opinions, I can’t see why I would object. So if you have a beef, moo.
Zen Lill
I don’t know BTK. Though I think his full moniker is BillytheKidd, too.
BTK
So is it Billy or what?
Evelyn
November 6th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Evelyn
Your mother told me about this site. She said that you write in often. Is this you? I am meeting Ruth for dejeuner. Here is a little ditty for you.
Drunk Frenchman Opens Bottle Of Wine With Shoe (VIDEO)
email me, fille
Alma
November 6th, 2009 at 10:53 am
I guess I don’t know how to insert an insert.
Drunk Frenchman Opens Bottle Of Wine With Shoe (VIDEO)