Good Morning!  

Okay, so we can all have a good laugh but seriously look at that statement: ‘What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.’  It’s true. I want to be able to make my own decisions in regards to my lifestyle, my finances, my body, my thoughts, my what ever. AND…I want to be supported in my decisions. Simple, yes?

Hey ZL:  As you said yesterday,  I said it above and I will say it here:  There are decent men out there. I’m married to one. But….here comes the but….why aren’t the decent men doing something about the atrocities that are happening to many women?  I know I didn’t want to get heavy today, but when men are so disrespectful and downright nasty to their women in any culture, where are the decent men backing these women? In war time, men will do anything to save their fellow comrades…but where is their presence, their courage,  during the war on women? 

You know what I would love to see? I would love to see a man in any culture start an organization for women, run mostly by men who want a better world for women…maybe women are on the board giving direction but the men are the ones doing all of the leg work, fighting for those that they love. How admirable. Maybe it would be called, ‘Men for Women’ or ‘Men In Support of Women’- How cool would that be? 

Hello Fatemah:  My Pleasure :) So…what are your feelings on this? You say that ‘men are socialized to believe that is is their right as men’.  And yes, western men like to play that game too.  Why aren’t the decent Muslim men putting their foot down and standing up for these women that they love? Why aren’t they teaching their sons, the new generations, how to respect, love, and appreciate women? To honor their choices and desires? Maybe they are and I just don’t know it. Are they?

Maybe if the decent ones were doing something to counter these atrocities, clearing up the ‘bad rap’ that their bad brothers depict, they would get some air time in the media. Are these decent Muslim men really treating their women decently, or are they just seen as acting decent because they don’t commit the atrocities that the perpetrators do? Is there some truth to this? Are Muslim women really getting what they want out of life? Are needs different between the many cultures? I know the challenges are.   

Ugh…The article from Sepia Mutiny just drives me crazy. Why is it that a son can dishonor the family but the wife of the son gets killed?! Is there no accountability here or is it always the woman at fault? This Izzat is a bunch of crap.

Fatemah, you and your ‘triple threat’ sisters do have a hard line to walk. Excellent article – Honest and revealing. My utmost admiration goes out to you. Thanks so much for visiting and joining in on this important hot topic, and for including some suggested reads. I too am hungry to learn more and understand, and you have been really helpful to me and obviously my readers. 

Readers: Did you read Fatemah’s article? A very articulate and enlightening read. Don’t be shy – give us your two.  

Quotes of the week:                            

‘McCain and Bush are awfully hard to tell apart.’   ‘No way, No how, No McCain.’

-Hillary Clinton/DNC 2008

?Give Love today?

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle ?

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:

or click here: “A Day in the life of…”

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008

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Women are strongly on my mind this week. Can you tell? Unfortunately, I have even more disturbing news when it comes to the women of this world.  And I must blog it. As much as I like to talk about the good happening, this is a part of life too. Lately it seems that abuse has gotten worse, escalated…but maybe I am just more informed.  Actually I am more informed. I am reading more and there is no excuse not be with the power of the internet. 

I wish that I had something more cheerful to report but like everything there is usually a rainbow somewhere even if we can’t see it immediately….there is always hope….a dream of something better. 

So…women and girls of Darfur….I wonder about you. I wonder how you live on a daily basis in the refugee camps. I wonder how many of you have lost your men while they try to collect firewood only to be captured or killed leaving you to fend for yourselves and your children. I wonder how often during the day when you go out to collect the firewood yourselves, you get raped by the Sudanese militia.  I wonder what you do in the middle of nowhere and how you deal with boredom.  I wonder how you live with the constant fear. I wonder what your thoughts are. I wonder how I would survive if I were you. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6JVKk0DpLs&hl=en&fs=1]

The Janjaweed, government sponsored militia, are on a campaign of slaughter, rape, starvation and displacement in Darfur.  Since February 2003:  ’200,000 people have died due to violence, starvation and disease. More than 2.5 million people have been displaced from their homes and over 200,000 have fled across the border to Chad.’ 

Sexual Violence in Darfur is not just a series of random acts. Just as in the ‘honor killings’ that take place, they are not just domestic violence acts, they are something more. In Darfur, these rapes are a weapon of genocide. These women need protection. They live in constant fear. The Peacekeepers that are there are failing because there isn’t enough resources and they are being stretched too thin to really protect these women. 

While China hosts the Olympic Games touting peace, harmony and brotherhood, they blindly back the Sudanese Government and allow the brutality of these women to continue. And while the Chinese Government relishes  in the delight of the Olympics, they continue to sell Sudan weapons that enable these horrific acts of violence. 

These women could probably care less about the Olympics.  But the one thing that they may dream about…something that gives them hope…is the Darfur Olympics.  What? Yeah that is what I asked. I wish that I had heard about this earlier but better late than never. 

Since August 8, the Save Darfur Coalition held their own Olympics, ‘dream for Darfur’,  and each day showed a different part of life in Darfur, from ‘How the refugees live’ to ‘Women in Darfur’, my topic for today.  Although the ‘Darfur Olympics’ ended yesterday with their ‘Closing Ceremony’, a video showing juxtaposing images revealing the anguish underwritten by China – with images from the promo materials for the Olympics….the atrocities are far from over. 

How can you help? Go to the website, read and learn.  Write to our Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and ask her to help deploy peacekeepers for Darfur.  Help the women in Darfur to be able to protect themselves so they can go back home with their families and return to their lives. We can not sit back while sexual violence rages the women of this world. We need to demand protection. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello Affah:  I agree with you about Moslem women and I even extend that to all of the women of this world. We do need to be heard and it is venues like this that we can talk and release the stories that need to be told. Thank you for telling yours. 

I am sorry about your sister – how devastating for you. I can not imagine having to put a smile on your face in celebration of ‘saving honor’. The warnings are not to be alone with men and yet it is the woman’s fault when she is raped?! How backwards is that? It is disgusting. The women have no choice.

Hi Al Zhahra:  Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your life. You are correct. I can not imagine what it is like to be a prisoner and to live as you do. What we see on TV and what your life is actually like are far different. 

ZL:  Hey – Thanks for chiming in.  Good to hear from you. I feel the same way that you do….I have no answers….and it is very frustrating. I feel helpless. And I imagine that the women of Islam and many other parts of the world such as Darfur and Chad feel the same way… 

Islamic Woman of Saudi Arabia:  Hello.  Evidently you feel the same way too.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts.  I hear you loud and clear. My heart goes out to you, to all of the women that have written in to me, and to all of the women that are unable to but still suffer daily.  I hope that the reach that I have through my blog will help…that people will do something.  

Readers: What will you do today to protect the women of this world? What will you do to say ‘no’ to the violence against women?

Peace out….

Gratefully your blog host, 

michelle  ?

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008  click on my Blogroll:  

or click here: “A Day in the life of…” 

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008

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Good morning…I hope. :) I am sleepy, It is early, and almost too early to write about a subject that I am about to write on.  Hopefully I can give it the attention and coherency that is needed through the words that I write….

We are aware of it happening in the Muslim world but it is also happening throughout Canada, Europe and yes, the United States too.  Young Muslim women are being targeted for violence. But why – what have they done?  Really nothing in my mind,  but in the minds of the Muslims, these women have humiliated their families, and when humiliation occurs, death is the punishment. These killings are known as ‘honor killings’ and they are happening worldwide including right here. 

If a Muslim woman refuses to wear a hijab, has a non-Muslim boyfriend or male friends of any origin….if she is sexually active, or rejects an arranged marriage…if she aggressively seeks employment and education, and more than anything else, if she attempts to assimilate into Western culture…sorry, you have disgraced the family and the sentence is death. Is there anything else to add to this list? What are these women allowed to do? If you ask me, these women can’t do much or their life is on the line. This is just so barbaric.  I know that this happens but I still can’t believe that it does.  The video tells it all.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWbk_0TOX5Y&hl=en&fs=1]

Isn’t this just horrific?! And it happens more than we think.  Although it is estimated that around 5000 of these killings happen every year worldwide, it is more likely that there are many more and that they just don’t get reported, due to the private nature of these crimes.  The families are the perpetrators. 

Yes, you heard me correctly…their own family members are the perpetrators, ’killing In the name of honor’. Yes, they would rather have a dead daughter than be disgraced by the horrible things that she does. It is usually the father or the male siblings that does the killing however, it is reported that even extended family members get involved; and surprisingly yes, some  females too.  

So, it is no surprise that many of these ‘honor killings’ go unreported. Why would a family report anything about their daughters when they are the perpetrators? You might as well admit the crime and we know that isn’t going to happen. No, don’t bring attention to the matter….it is easier to say she just left with no forwarding address, or she’s off in school, or she just disappeared….and hope that no one asks questions. Meanwhile, she’s been kidnapped, tortured, raped, strangled, and stuffed in a suitcase all in the name of ‘honor’.  ’Thanks dad.’ 

So what does a young Muslim woman do when she is stuck between two incompatible cultures?  She is living in the west trying to balance between the demands of a modern western world and the demands of her family to honor their religious and tribal traditions. It is a struggle for these young Muslim women to say the least, and sadly, too often they pay the ultimate price: Death. Can you imagine? Where does one turn? Your family are supposedly the people that you rely on; the ones that you can count on to always be there in time of need. In the cases of these young women, they don’t have that family support.

It is a growing problem that needs to be addressed and brought to the forefront of people’s minds. In october of 2007 the feminist group National Organization for Women (NOW) announced a press release stating their support of legislation that denounces ‘honor killings’ and violence against women. The initiative H. Res. 32 ‘denounces the practices of female genital mutilation, domestic violence, ‘honor’ killings, acid burning, dowry deaths, sexual slavery and other gender-based persecutions.’  

NOW has made a commitment to help in the global effort to rid of this oppression against women. It is a step in the right direction as it is only the precious few who speak out and tell it like it is when it comes to the oppression of women in Muslim culture. Be a voice for these young women. We need to open our eyes instead of turning a blind one just because we may not understand.  One doesn’t have to understand – what is there to understand? ‘Honor killing’ is not okay. Their lives are at stake and it is up to us to support these women by speaking out when human rights are in question. They are in question and this is me speaking out. If you want more information on how you can help, go to the NOW website….Thank you!  

Gratefully your blog host, 

michelle  ?

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008  click on my Blogroll:  

or click here: “A Day in the life of…” 

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008

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I was flipping through the book, ‘Creating a Charmed Life’, by Victoria Moran and the title, ‘Grow Through Hard Times’ caught my interest. So, I want to dedicate this article to some of my friends out there who are having a hard time, and to any of my readers out there who are feeling the same way whether it be in relationships, finances, work, or just what ever in life. 

‘This isn’t the end of the story. It’s just a twist in the plot.’

How I really love that quote above. Sometimes people feel like their life is over especially if it has to do with a love lost or finances. It just isn’t true.

Victoria says, ‘All great people have gone through periods of reversal of fortune.’  It may have been a personal crisis of some sort or something bigger…perhaps they have lived through war or a financial depression. Big or small, personally or globally, at that point in their lives, their life felt anything but charmed. If we look at these people’s lives as a whole, we can see how they survived and made it through all of the ups and downs, all of the successes and failures. 

But she adds that when it comes to our own lives it is easy to loose sight of our own cycles. ‘Rough times give us selective amnesia.’ When things hit us hard and everything feels like it is snowballing….multiple areas in our life feel like they’re taking a dive….we tend to forget that we’ve lived through this before. 

I have to say that we have gone through some pretty rough times before. I remember when Doug and I were so broke one Christmas that they only way we were getting a decent meal was when we attended the many Holiday parties that we were invited to!  Hahah! We still laugh about this, and yes we made it through.  Selective Amnesia isn’t something we practice. I remember the rough times and I always know that we will prevail.  My saying…’We always seem to make it; we will again.’

Victoria says, ‘Difficult times can last longer than they need to because we see them as permanent instead of transient.’ Hmm…I don’t ever recall seeing a difficult time as ‘permanent’ but then I am one who loves change so I welcome it. ‘Transient’…now that word has been one of my favs as it is soo true, and when we realize that life is ‘transient’…And ‘this too shall pass’, then we can say, ‘I don’t mind what happens’.  The latter being a bit more difficult, but when one realizes how transient life really is, it makes it easier to accept ‘what is’.  This all swings back to the ‘universe looking for random, looking for order…etc.’   

Also like my fav writer  Eckhart Tolle, Victoria feels that we can get into trouble when we too thoroughly identify with our circumstances. She gives examples of women who get their worth from how they look, have a difficult time during pregnancy or aging.  Or people who believe that they don’t have money but that they are their money. Ahh…identifying with form at its best.  

‘The more aware you can stay of who you really are – the eternal, unlimited essence of yourself – the easier it will be to deal with the conditions around you that fluctuate all of the time.’  Well said Victoria! In other words, bring your essence forward and have your ego take a back seat. 

Accepting change may seem like a conflict to thinking positively sometimes, but it really isn’t. It just means that your are accepting what is and that life operates in a rhythmic, cyclic patterns which includes all of the ups and downs.  Expecting the best means excepting the pattern, the larger picture of our life. Take the action necessary to get through it and get the support that you need.  And as I wrote about ‘embarrassment’ the other day, what we see as ‘down sides’ in life, can turn out to be the biggest and most precious lessons to learn. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Health info: Who knows if you are a person or someone on auto-pilot. Anyway, I just had to say my two on tardiness. I had a friend whom I no longer see anymore…the first time we didn’t talk was because of her tardiness. The second time was a different reason not worth getting in to. 

I do agree with most of what you said and I have tried the fibbing time tactics which sometimes worked but 15 minutes of fib was never enough. This Person was always late, and most of the time very late.  

Where I don’t jive with you is the ‘respect’ part.  This friend was on time when it came to getting to work.  She also traveled out of town quite a bit for work. She always got to the airport in time to catch her plane.  Planes don’t wait and after my grace period of 15 minutes, I don’t wait either. My time is precious too and sitting in a bar by myself constantly checking my watch ‘waiting’, to me, was disrespectful. Believe me if the roles were reversed I would’ve been torn a new one every time.  That friendship was fun when it worked but otherwise it was too high maintenance. 

Hi Mildred:  How’s it going? Thanks for forwarding the shark video. The bit about sharks being the host for aliens ‘at all times’ is quite interesting…and the fact that aliens hash out their differences in this manner is even more intriguing. It seems the aliens are fighting two wars: one within the alien world and Unfortunately one against us and they are loosing.  A ridiculous thought for some to feel they are a threat to society when the bigger threat is what will happen if they disappear. it seems nothing in the sea will be eatable. Have you talked about this on the Asian blog? Don’t people realize that there is a reason for every being to inhabit this planet? Doug is correct by saying that what we can’t decipher, we try to destroy. 

ZL: I am with you…love, love, loved the opening ceremony. Politics aside it was truly one of the most creative, choreographed  ceremonies I have ever seen. Creativity aside, trying to show that they are a country of ‘harmony’ and openness’ is going to take a lot more effort on their part than just an Olympic ceremony. 

Anonz: How about a photo with that mask? That is just too sci-fi. I gotta see it. 

Peace out peeps….Have a good one today and see ya tomorrow.

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle  ?

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008  click on my Blogroll:  

or click here: “A Day in the life of…” 

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

I am feeling a bit disconnected from the world lately. I got an email from my dear friend Tiwi the other day and she was writing exactly the same way as I was feeling – She even used the same words to describe it: ‘feeling disconnected’. I wondered what was going on in her life.  

I am aware that ‘the universe is random looking for order looking for random’…. Could it be that we are both in randomness at opposite ends of the world? Random means done or chosen without method or conscious decision….haphazard, stray, erratic; chance.  

My haphazardness feels more  ‘chaotic’ to me. I know it sounds like I am being dramatic but the word ‘haphazard’ just doesn’t fit or resonate with what my life feels like right now. ‘Chaotic’ rings for me, yet it is more about everything around me and not my state of mind, thankfully. I am pretty much in ‘order’ in the midst of this ‘chaos’. 

However as I stated above, I am feeling a bit disconnected.  This state of ‘random’  is having an effect on my social life which is why I am pulling away from friends and family and hanging close to home. It is a time for reflection without too much analysis I must add. Living in my head feeding my ego instead of my heart does not serve me well.

So the ‘chaos’ in my life has shown up in my dreams and in a very profound and revealing way as dreams tend to do sometimes. Visualize this:  Massive and I mean MASSIVE structures were flying at me.  Just like in the movie ‘Star Wars’ when they are flying their ships dodging huge asteroids coming towards them.  

Well that is how this dream was only I wasn’t in a space ship….I was on land with nothing around to protect me.   And the massive structures coming towards me were huge ‘random’ (There’s that word again:) parts of space ships and structures that looked like scaffolding for a building, only again in ‘random’ shapes.  They flew towards me but never landed on me. And as much as I was dodging them I was once again  in ‘order’, in the appropriate place, safe, in the midst of the ‘chaos’. 

I remember feeling no fear, and at one point even guesstimating as one was flying towards me where it would land so that I could avoid it.  One in a calm state of mind would never think that way. One in fear would be screaming and running all over the place acting ‘chaotic’ themselves.  I was no where near this state.

I woke up pretty early after that dream. I didn’t want to go back to sleep. Instead I thought about it for some time so that I could remember it and blog about it this morning.

I believe as many do, that our dreams are little notes to ourselves.  Maybe even lessons. Could it be that this dream is preparing me to command my ship? Or could it be just a sign that no matter what chaos is going on around me, I will be level headed and make the right decisions for me. I will be safe. Maybe both. 

What are your dreams telling you? Share. Blog me.

****************

Hi Frank: What are you doing living in Vietnam? Are you in Saigon? I have great memories from my travels there.  Dying to know which hotel you and your friends converse in…You don’t want to look like nuts…hmm…my curiosity has gotten the better of me.  But that’s okay, you can keep your little secret. 

I used to collect crystals many years ago and I have a few very special ones. I never had time to really enjoy VN. I was working so much and any time off I was in a spa relaxing or shopping the markets. I never saw any crystals but then I was probably not in the right places to look.  

Happy that you and your friends enjoy the reads and…that you finally got in.

Hi Ghazan: I know it must seem that way. As much as we are all world citizens most people are just too involved in living their own lives and seeing the atrocities that happen, leaves one feeling helpless – what can one do? Sadly, most turn off the TV and go on with their lives. The program that Doug and I were watching the other night told us nothing new. I do remember saying that I didn’t want to support China by  buying anything made from there. But our entire country would have to take that stand in order to have an impact. I have to think more about this…Any suggestions – I am open and willing to hear. 

I am running out of time this morning, and I see more comments have come – so sorry…I will address the rest of you tomorrow.  Have a peaceful day.  

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle  ?

For archives dated before January 17, 2008  click on my Blogroll:  

or click here: “A Day in the life of…” 

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008

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